Alone and Loneliness

  As you well know... they are not the same. Though similar, each has its own 'feel', its own emotions. You can be alone but not lonely just as you can be lonely and not be alone. However, we all experience these times, we all have to cope with them and we all have to exercise 'control' over them because each can swallow you up. The problem can come when you are lonely and alone. What do you do?

  Controlling these times can be challenging because it seems that when we develop one defense against 'them' that they develop another way to express themselves. And no, I'm not giving 'them' the ability to think... though I realize that that sounds like I am giving them a more rational and reason based essence than they possess. And that is one of the cues to overcoming. We need to develop our own ways to deal with these feelings and more especially - thoughts.

  We all need to realize the old expression that tells that we can be alone in a crowd. We can. But it's us, our behavior that keeps us from moving out and engaging another person. The communication doesn't need to be mindless dribble - that's a choice. We can choose to stay alone and apart in our thoughts and emotions or we can choose to be engaged. And then there are the positive effects from being alone. Being alone can be a blessing when you can either be quiet and think and contemplate or whatever activity you care to engage in.

  Loneliness, I think, is more devastating than being alone. I've experienced loneliness but only fleetingly, thankfully. But I do recall those times and they can be physically painful. . When you are lonely, I think the physical expressions - aches, lethargy - as well as emotional ones tend to govern what we do and say. Let me ask a question... when you are feeling lonely, what are you thinking, feeling, focusing on? My guess would be ... yourself. And that's part of the dilemma. Loneliness is myopic and you need to broaden your vision. Again... a choice.

... you? lonely? alone?