Everyone has a story. Actually, stories. For all of us, it's a story that's still being written. Stories always have a plot, characters, a theme... The characters include you and those others who have populated your life. They contribute and detract from your story but they are part. It's always fascinating to hear other people's stories and see the commonalities with your story and the differences. My personal belief has always been that it is the commonalities that provide the 'foundation' in a relationship but it is the differences that provide the spice.
Stories can be sad or they can be uplifting. They can be detailed or they can leave a lot to the imagination, not unlike books that you read but don't discover the fullness till the final chapter. Stories teach and they paint pictures. It's in the telling that the speaker as well as the listeners discover the many layers in the story. But one thing stories never are... boring. Life is too full to be boring and even in the telling, you can discover something you didn't know or something you hadn't thought about. You can always learn from stories, and many times you are entertained as well.
The problem can be that in our rushed and harried society we don't take the time to listen to other's stories or to ask them questions. Sometimes the stories we hear are not of the person themselves but of another event or person, but in the telling we see how it impacted the speaker and that too 'speaks'. While it is especially the older adult that has a wealth of stories, the younger person has also had experiences that are shaping them, that are part of their story. In taking the time to ask and listen to these stories we are providing a kind of 'validation', an appreciation for the person.
We need to share our story as well. We need an audience that is interested in what we have to say... and that isn't always easy to find. None of us want to be considered 'boring', which brings me to a killer phrase that I never use - when I was a kid... - that will plug the ears of listeners fast. Sometimes it's an issue of how we tell our stories. Sometimes the problem is when. Regardless, telling the stories is important. I suspect that's why I write...
...but, what do you think?
Sunday, March 31, 2013
Friday, March 29, 2013
The numbing times...
Hate them... but we all experience them. Surviving those times is truly a feat because the temptations to quit, give up, give in are enormous. Not that those behaviors are improved by the actions... but the level of frustration can become overwhelming. During these times, and it rarely happens only once in one's journey through life, the only thing that kept me going were the scriptures (paraphrased): Be not weary in well doing for you will reap in due time (Galatians 6:9), He will make a way through (1Corrinthinas 10:13), and Greater is He who is in me then he who is in the world (1John 4:4). These were my lifelines.
What is difficult to realize and act on is that a: these times come, b: these times are not from the Lord to 'teach' you something, c: you can overcome. Until we grasp that we have already overcome and that it is up to us to act on this, we seem to be in a state of paralysis. What do you do in and during these times says a great deal about who you are and how comfortable you are in this. How you learn from and handle your numbing times shorten the length of time you spend there. I've become convinced that the last thing you should do is fight. Take control - yes, but fighting rarely accomplishes what you want.
There was a wonderful comment in a book I read that said, "... some people are content with what they know, however bad it is, and fear what they don't know, however good it might turn out." The point in this is that it all begins with you and how you look at what is and what might be. You need to start from the point of believing in yourself and who and what you believe in. And look at this positively, not doubting. But if you do doubt - discover your new anchor. Being paralyzed keeps you from acting and overcoming whatever is attempting to dictate who you are and what you do.
Numb. Not a good place to be. Since we all seem to find ourselves occasionally in that place, then we should know how to extricate ourselves before it happens. Easier said than accomplished. I think the beginning answer is to recognize when we are in those times and face them like the eagle does a storm... head on. It may be painful but even a little pain is better than numb. We have within us the power and ability to move on - we need to tap into this.
... what do you do?
What is difficult to realize and act on is that a: these times come, b: these times are not from the Lord to 'teach' you something, c: you can overcome. Until we grasp that we have already overcome and that it is up to us to act on this, we seem to be in a state of paralysis. What do you do in and during these times says a great deal about who you are and how comfortable you are in this. How you learn from and handle your numbing times shorten the length of time you spend there. I've become convinced that the last thing you should do is fight. Take control - yes, but fighting rarely accomplishes what you want.
There was a wonderful comment in a book I read that said, "... some people are content with what they know, however bad it is, and fear what they don't know, however good it might turn out." The point in this is that it all begins with you and how you look at what is and what might be. You need to start from the point of believing in yourself and who and what you believe in. And look at this positively, not doubting. But if you do doubt - discover your new anchor. Being paralyzed keeps you from acting and overcoming whatever is attempting to dictate who you are and what you do.
Numb. Not a good place to be. Since we all seem to find ourselves occasionally in that place, then we should know how to extricate ourselves before it happens. Easier said than accomplished. I think the beginning answer is to recognize when we are in those times and face them like the eagle does a storm... head on. It may be painful but even a little pain is better than numb. We have within us the power and ability to move on - we need to tap into this.
... what do you do?
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Everyone deserves the chance
for redemption. Regardless of who they are or what they've done, they deserve the opportunity to be redeemed from the state they got themselves into. If they sincerely regret their actions/words then, if we expect to have our second chance, we have to accord others this same opportunity. Without question
change is the key. Without change was there really any remorse for what was done? Do they display an attitude of change, of not repeating the words/actions?
Without the opportunity for redemption we really are doomed. But with the opportunity for this changed state, we also can't deny the opportunity for someone else. And sometimes... at least intellectually, we do. What they did was so heinous that they don't even deserve the opportunity to make restitution would be our indictment. Fair? Right? However, right and fair are truly irrelevant - we have clear guidelines that we must forgive.
It is extremely important that our mindset toward ourselves be extended to others. When we don't allow that others have the 'chance' for redemption, then we are really measuring the same judgment on ourselves. Besides... we aren't the redeemer. We may withhold some of our willingness to trust again, but we can't withhold forgiveness. And the other person's subsequent actions and words will be 'proof' of their changed attitude.
What if the other person 'slips' and repeats the behavior? Remember Jesus' words to Peter when he asked Him how often forgiveness should be extended (Matthew 18:21-22)? Seventy times seven certainly puts a 'forever' stamp on it. Our focus should be on extending the hand of forgiveness, realizing that we too have slipped at times. Redemption is what none of us deserve, yet it is extended to all. There is a response and responsibility to we who have been redeemed - to not repeat the actions that caused the issue(s) in the first place.
...but, what do you think?
change is the key. Without change was there really any remorse for what was done? Do they display an attitude of change, of not repeating the words/actions?
Without the opportunity for redemption we really are doomed. But with the opportunity for this changed state, we also can't deny the opportunity for someone else. And sometimes... at least intellectually, we do. What they did was so heinous that they don't even deserve the opportunity to make restitution would be our indictment. Fair? Right? However, right and fair are truly irrelevant - we have clear guidelines that we must forgive.
It is extremely important that our mindset toward ourselves be extended to others. When we don't allow that others have the 'chance' for redemption, then we are really measuring the same judgment on ourselves. Besides... we aren't the redeemer. We may withhold some of our willingness to trust again, but we can't withhold forgiveness. And the other person's subsequent actions and words will be 'proof' of their changed attitude.
What if the other person 'slips' and repeats the behavior? Remember Jesus' words to Peter when he asked Him how often forgiveness should be extended (Matthew 18:21-22)? Seventy times seven certainly puts a 'forever' stamp on it. Our focus should be on extending the hand of forgiveness, realizing that we too have slipped at times. Redemption is what none of us deserve, yet it is extended to all. There is a response and responsibility to we who have been redeemed - to not repeat the actions that caused the issue(s) in the first place.
...but, what do you think?
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Step by step
A path is a fascinating thing. It always leads. And it always starts from some place, which means that it always ends up some place. As you enter the path, which can typically be done from several points along the way, and you discover that it isn't where you want to go, you can change the path you are on. Perhaps you don't want to stick to the path so you set off through the underbrush. As you put step upon step you move in a direction, even if you turn around and go in the direction you came from. Regardless, a path always leads.
Paths really are enchanting. Not just that as you walk on them you get from point A to point B but that they can be uphill and downhill, they can be smooth as well as rocky. Paths can seem to peter out only to reemerge later. Paths can be wide and they can be narrow. With some paths that are more developed, you can come across seating areas in which you can rest. Some paths have signs on them to direct you or indicate other sites along the way. Paths can get you where you're going or they can get you away from where you've been.
Have you ever taken the time to stop on the path and watch the people who are also on your path? They may walk purposefully, with a specific destination in mind and they go intentionally on. Some look at the map in their hand to see if it actually does end up at the place they want to go. Others are just looking around, enjoying seeing what is there, the 'stop and smell the roses' types. Rarely are you on the path by yourself... at least, not for long.
What does 'path' suggest to you? Can you not only visualize yourself on a path but what you are doing? Do you remember getting on this path? Where is your step by step taking you and how is it taking you? If you stop and take stock remember to get off the path or you might get overrun by those who are rushing onward. The point for you is... is this your path? And if not, what will you be willing to do to get on your right path?
... but, what do you think?
Paths really are enchanting. Not just that as you walk on them you get from point A to point B but that they can be uphill and downhill, they can be smooth as well as rocky. Paths can seem to peter out only to reemerge later. Paths can be wide and they can be narrow. With some paths that are more developed, you can come across seating areas in which you can rest. Some paths have signs on them to direct you or indicate other sites along the way. Paths can get you where you're going or they can get you away from where you've been.
Have you ever taken the time to stop on the path and watch the people who are also on your path? They may walk purposefully, with a specific destination in mind and they go intentionally on. Some look at the map in their hand to see if it actually does end up at the place they want to go. Others are just looking around, enjoying seeing what is there, the 'stop and smell the roses' types. Rarely are you on the path by yourself... at least, not for long.
What does 'path' suggest to you? Can you not only visualize yourself on a path but what you are doing? Do you remember getting on this path? Where is your step by step taking you and how is it taking you? If you stop and take stock remember to get off the path or you might get overrun by those who are rushing onward. The point for you is... is this your path? And if not, what will you be willing to do to get on your right path?
... but, what do you think?
Friday, March 22, 2013
Your journey
Picture yourself on the crest of a hill. You can see all around you the panorama of streams and pastures, a small village and the mountains. The view is lush and very pastoral. It seems that you can see every tree, every bush and flower, every little blade of grass. Then your vision changes and you see your life, your journey thus far. Realizing that part of your view is somewhat hazy and you can't see all the detail, what is your reaction? Are you still delighted at what you see?
While 'delighted' may not describe your reaction, you might just as well make peace with it since it happened. It is an 'is'. If you don't like what you see, do you know why? It doesn't matter as much where you've been but it's critical that you know. Most important are the lessons you've learned along your way. Where you are right now is influenced by the then and will impact on the future and your awareness is quite critical. You can always, as in always, change your direction as long as you know where you've been and know where you want to go.
As you contemplate your view, the immediate question of 'what next' has to permeate your thinking. While you can enjoy where you are for a moment, you also realize that you can't stay, that it is only temporary. Which path do you take down the hill? What have you set as your next destination? And those are only the obvious questions... but the point is - what is going to be your 'next'? Where do you want to be? While speed may not be necessary, intentionality should be.
Your journey is yours to determine... within limits. If your responsibilities include others, then their needs and wants have to be part of your decision making. It isn't as much an issue of compromise or ignoring your hopes and dreams as it is to be aware and to communicate why you are doing what you're doing as well as what the 'next' will be. Your journey should never be by default - it should always reflect who and what you are.
...but, what do you think?
While 'delighted' may not describe your reaction, you might just as well make peace with it since it happened. It is an 'is'. If you don't like what you see, do you know why? It doesn't matter as much where you've been but it's critical that you know. Most important are the lessons you've learned along your way. Where you are right now is influenced by the then and will impact on the future and your awareness is quite critical. You can always, as in always, change your direction as long as you know where you've been and know where you want to go.
As you contemplate your view, the immediate question of 'what next' has to permeate your thinking. While you can enjoy where you are for a moment, you also realize that you can't stay, that it is only temporary. Which path do you take down the hill? What have you set as your next destination? And those are only the obvious questions... but the point is - what is going to be your 'next'? Where do you want to be? While speed may not be necessary, intentionality should be.
Your journey is yours to determine... within limits. If your responsibilities include others, then their needs and wants have to be part of your decision making. It isn't as much an issue of compromise or ignoring your hopes and dreams as it is to be aware and to communicate why you are doing what you're doing as well as what the 'next' will be. Your journey should never be by default - it should always reflect who and what you are.
...but, what do you think?
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Organized in the midst...
I'm one of those highly organized types that always seem to collect people who aren't and who really don't care that they aren't. It's not that they have their own brand of 'organized', they truly are totally and regret-lessly unorganized. I must admit that it's almost like they wear it as a badge of honor. Then again... if I'm completely honest, I probably carry my organized self as a badge too. I do find it frustrating but it is never boring and can be highly entertaining... if you, being the organized type, will wear it.
Many times these types will categorize themselves as 'spontaneous' and use that as the reason, the answer to why they don't organize. I have this suspicion that they really can be organized, they just don't choose to. However, to categorize this type as 'spontaneous' and the organized types as too un-spontaneous is neither fair nor accurate. We organized types are spontaneous but we typically don't let it control our lives. So we continue to live lives of... organized, perhaps spontaneously organized.?
Part of the point in this is to accept that the other people will never be swayed to be organized and let them live their lives as they deem fit - even if it doesn't make sense to you. And, concomitantly, bask in your own organized self. You don't have to change what you are to make someone else 'happy' but neither do they. You will only make yourself more frustrated if you attempt to share the wonders of organization with someone who really doesn't give a rip. This issue is truly a 'live and let live'.
Granted much of what I've written is tongue-in-cheek but it is also truth and you really can't argue nor change 'truth'. The point really is - who's in charge? If you have the responsibility then organize away and don't apologize. If the unorganized person is in charge then sit back and do what is required of you. The rest of the time... learn. There is something to be discovered about this approach that you will be able to incorporate into your style. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Though not your style... enjoy their trip.
...but, what do you think?
Many times these types will categorize themselves as 'spontaneous' and use that as the reason, the answer to why they don't organize. I have this suspicion that they really can be organized, they just don't choose to. However, to categorize this type as 'spontaneous' and the organized types as too un-spontaneous is neither fair nor accurate. We organized types are spontaneous but we typically don't let it control our lives. So we continue to live lives of... organized, perhaps spontaneously organized.?
Part of the point in this is to accept that the other people will never be swayed to be organized and let them live their lives as they deem fit - even if it doesn't make sense to you. And, concomitantly, bask in your own organized self. You don't have to change what you are to make someone else 'happy' but neither do they. You will only make yourself more frustrated if you attempt to share the wonders of organization with someone who really doesn't give a rip. This issue is truly a 'live and let live'.
Granted much of what I've written is tongue-in-cheek but it is also truth and you really can't argue nor change 'truth'. The point really is - who's in charge? If you have the responsibility then organize away and don't apologize. If the unorganized person is in charge then sit back and do what is required of you. The rest of the time... learn. There is something to be discovered about this approach that you will be able to incorporate into your style. Don't throw the baby out with the bathwater. Though not your style... enjoy their trip.
...but, what do you think?
Tuesday, March 19, 2013
Right result... Wrong reasons?
Just how important IS the intent (motivation) of the heart? Can we do the right thing for all the wrong reasons? Do the wrong thing for the right reasons? Does the means justify the ends? How do we reconcile this apparent irreconcilable position? Is this just another conundrum of life? And where and how do we start? Or do we just throw up our hands in dismay and simply ignore the issue?
A friend of mine like to quote, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." This spoken generally produced a groan from everyone. It doesn't diminish the accuracy though. And we must be aware of our intentions and not produce an after-the fact... 'but I intended...' It really isn't about the 'what I intended', it IS about the result - your behavior or words. That's why we have to not let ourselves get into the habit of justifying or defending our behavior. We need to be intentional.
One clue, at least for me, is the approach to 'justify'. I've discovered that whenever I get into a need to justify, my attention is in the wrong place. When I need to explain the whys and wherefores of what I just did or said, then the probability increases that my intent was all wrong, regardless of the result. I also believe that too often we look at the 'result' rather than the behavior and this approach is rarely growth producing. For me, regardless of the result, the behavior is the focus of good/bad.
Our intention whether by action or spoken is a character point. How we respond is crucial so the answers to the beginning questions are: important? Yes, critical. Right thing-wrong reason? There is no excuse for the wrong reason. Wrong thing-right reason? When/if this occurs then you lucked out but it should never be the basis of determining behavior. Means justify ends? My answer would be 'never'. But your answer is what is important. How you respond when you find yourself in a position that is on the edge of 'wrong' is at issue.
... but, what do you think?
A friend of mine like to quote, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions." This spoken generally produced a groan from everyone. It doesn't diminish the accuracy though. And we must be aware of our intentions and not produce an after-the fact... 'but I intended...' It really isn't about the 'what I intended', it IS about the result - your behavior or words. That's why we have to not let ourselves get into the habit of justifying or defending our behavior. We need to be intentional.
One clue, at least for me, is the approach to 'justify'. I've discovered that whenever I get into a need to justify, my attention is in the wrong place. When I need to explain the whys and wherefores of what I just did or said, then the probability increases that my intent was all wrong, regardless of the result. I also believe that too often we look at the 'result' rather than the behavior and this approach is rarely growth producing. For me, regardless of the result, the behavior is the focus of good/bad.
Our intention whether by action or spoken is a character point. How we respond is crucial so the answers to the beginning questions are: important? Yes, critical. Right thing-wrong reason? There is no excuse for the wrong reason. Wrong thing-right reason? When/if this occurs then you lucked out but it should never be the basis of determining behavior. Means justify ends? My answer would be 'never'. But your answer is what is important. How you respond when you find yourself in a position that is on the edge of 'wrong' is at issue.
... but, what do you think?
Sunday, March 17, 2013
The Road Taken
I would suggest that too often we look at what we didn't do, at least emotionally reconsider the not do. It's the negative part of 'what if'. In some respects the issue is moot because you DID make the choice you did. Go back? Unlikely because the stars never align in exactly the same way with the same set of dynamics. If you look at your decision making process, then that's a different focus. How you came to make the decision you did will be a better use of your time and energy. Regardless, the point is that regret is not effective and can be quite paralyzing.
You took the road you are on for some reason - never forget that. Sometimes in the 'heat' of analyzing you forget that there were reasons for your decision. However, if you constantly second guess yourself you will discover you really never move on, you are in a kind of quicksand of indecision. Perhaps later you would have made a different decision but at the time? Analyzing does give you important information about you and your decision making process. It can help you fine tune how you go about 'deciding'. But your 'how you go about it' is only one component in the process. Finally it will come down to how you act.
I started this with the intent of looking at the road you take and quickly got side tracked into the process of taking the road. The latter is important. However, the road you chose to be on.... are you pleased with your choice? And if not, why? And if not, change! Just don't pre-determine it to be 'the other', earlier, choice. With a change you'll have a new road that you would be taking. I think, though, that the question is - what road do you want to be on? Is there something fundamentally wrong with the one you're on? And, what are the dynamics that would cause you to want to change roads?
Regardless of your 'feelings' do you take much time to look around you on the road you are on? Since you are on it - what is your thinking, how do you feel, what do you see? Who are the people on your road, or are you alone? Are you enjoying traveling on it or are you rushing to get to the end of this road or find a detour or a a new fork in the road? What does this road disclose?
The road taken speaks as much to a mindset as it does of behavior. "Take' is a decision that is expressed in behavior. It is a choosing of one thing over something else... consciously, deliberately.
... but, what do you think?
You took the road you are on for some reason - never forget that. Sometimes in the 'heat' of analyzing you forget that there were reasons for your decision. However, if you constantly second guess yourself you will discover you really never move on, you are in a kind of quicksand of indecision. Perhaps later you would have made a different decision but at the time? Analyzing does give you important information about you and your decision making process. It can help you fine tune how you go about 'deciding'. But your 'how you go about it' is only one component in the process. Finally it will come down to how you act.
I started this with the intent of looking at the road you take and quickly got side tracked into the process of taking the road. The latter is important. However, the road you chose to be on.... are you pleased with your choice? And if not, why? And if not, change! Just don't pre-determine it to be 'the other', earlier, choice. With a change you'll have a new road that you would be taking. I think, though, that the question is - what road do you want to be on? Is there something fundamentally wrong with the one you're on? And, what are the dynamics that would cause you to want to change roads?
Regardless of your 'feelings' do you take much time to look around you on the road you are on? Since you are on it - what is your thinking, how do you feel, what do you see? Who are the people on your road, or are you alone? Are you enjoying traveling on it or are you rushing to get to the end of this road or find a detour or a a new fork in the road? What does this road disclose?
The road taken speaks as much to a mindset as it does of behavior. "Take' is a decision that is expressed in behavior. It is a choosing of one thing over something else... consciously, deliberately.
... but, what do you think?
Friday, March 15, 2013
It's about people...
Exasperating. Infuriating. You can't live with them and you can't live without them! Then again... why would you want to? As you traverse your life's path there are many who will populate it. Corny? Probably, but it is still true. Some of the people will become friends, some only acquaintances. Some you will work with and others will be part of your leisure time activities. But whatever the situation, circumstance, or specific world you are in... it will be peopled. Probably the only way you won't have people in your world is if you decide to become a hermit - and what's the fun in that!?
Yes, people can be a pain; yes, they will hurt and misunderstand you, there are all sorts of negative emotions attached to 'people'. But they can also be helpful, understanding, funny, bringing you joy and a whole host of other emotions. People in my world do all of the positive and all of the negative things that I also do. But, the delight and discovery that they bring as their 'who they are' is worth the negative - at least to me. I try and have the attitude that each person has a nugget, a pearl, a bit of wisdom that they share with the world and my responsibility is to discover it. Again, corny but accurate.
Perhaps you don't need a cluster or group of people, but I think that everyone needs at least two significant people in their lives. Why 2? Because you always need more than just one other person's opinion, thought, idea, etc. Wisdom and understanding is discovered "... in the multitude of counselors there is safety". (Proverbs 11:14, 15:22) Bottom line is that none of us is the font of all wisdom, we need to be able to rely on, as a source, what other people - whom we trust - have discovered.
I've always believed the scripture of 'iron sharpening iron' - that's part and parcel of being a friend and the basis of communication. In my world there are people of all sorts of sizes and shapes, with varying beliefs on a whole host of subjects. And while debate may be the mode of our discussions, so too is valuing and respecting. People in my world challenge me, support me, and sometimes vex me. I hope that I do the same for them.
...but, what do you think?
Yes, people can be a pain; yes, they will hurt and misunderstand you, there are all sorts of negative emotions attached to 'people'. But they can also be helpful, understanding, funny, bringing you joy and a whole host of other emotions. People in my world do all of the positive and all of the negative things that I also do. But, the delight and discovery that they bring as their 'who they are' is worth the negative - at least to me. I try and have the attitude that each person has a nugget, a pearl, a bit of wisdom that they share with the world and my responsibility is to discover it. Again, corny but accurate.
Perhaps you don't need a cluster or group of people, but I think that everyone needs at least two significant people in their lives. Why 2? Because you always need more than just one other person's opinion, thought, idea, etc. Wisdom and understanding is discovered "... in the multitude of counselors there is safety". (Proverbs 11:14, 15:22) Bottom line is that none of us is the font of all wisdom, we need to be able to rely on, as a source, what other people - whom we trust - have discovered.
I've always believed the scripture of 'iron sharpening iron' - that's part and parcel of being a friend and the basis of communication. In my world there are people of all sorts of sizes and shapes, with varying beliefs on a whole host of subjects. And while debate may be the mode of our discussions, so too is valuing and respecting. People in my world challenge me, support me, and sometimes vex me. I hope that I do the same for them.
...but, what do you think?
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Be EXTRAORDINARY!
You can live a superlative life. Why be average (whatever that means or how it is defined)? Surely mediocre is not something to be pursued? Then again, remember that 'extra' and 'super' are defined individually as well. Superlative basically means reaching for or stretching yourself for that which is just beyond your finger tips. Yes it is a striving. And yes, it is competitive but the focus, actor, and definer is yourself. Striving in this context is not necessarily stressful nor painful but it isn't a walk in the park either. It means setting the goal so that you don't achieve success quickly. And your competitor? Your previous successes.
The 'get by', 'get along' mindset is really not one to cultivate. This truly would be a way to be tossed by every wind that comes by. I would think it would be quite confusing because in this approach, you really don't have your own set of standards to live by. Soooo... what are you? Why would you want to be average or 'ordinary'? Does fear of failure, of not attaining 'extraordinary' stop you from trying? Or... perhaps you are listening to the voices of those who don't realize your potential? People who would rather see you as compromising to be 'average' so they don't have to raise their own standard.
Never forget that if you try for extraordinary and don't make it, where you arrive is going to be definitely higher than 'ordinary'. Don't misunderstand, 'ordinary' isn't 'bad' unless it's less than what you are capable of accomplishing. Even in a limiting situation you are in control of what you learn, what you discover, how you refine what you do and how you can do it. Others can attempt to limit you but only you can decide to accept that limitation.
In the last analysis, you are the only one who can determine if your effort is extraordinary or not because you are the definer of the word. But extraordinary is something that is exhilarating when you do attain it. It is a defining moment.
...but, what do you think?
The 'get by', 'get along' mindset is really not one to cultivate. This truly would be a way to be tossed by every wind that comes by. I would think it would be quite confusing because in this approach, you really don't have your own set of standards to live by. Soooo... what are you? Why would you want to be average or 'ordinary'? Does fear of failure, of not attaining 'extraordinary' stop you from trying? Or... perhaps you are listening to the voices of those who don't realize your potential? People who would rather see you as compromising to be 'average' so they don't have to raise their own standard.
Never forget that if you try for extraordinary and don't make it, where you arrive is going to be definitely higher than 'ordinary'. Don't misunderstand, 'ordinary' isn't 'bad' unless it's less than what you are capable of accomplishing. Even in a limiting situation you are in control of what you learn, what you discover, how you refine what you do and how you can do it. Others can attempt to limit you but only you can decide to accept that limitation.
In the last analysis, you are the only one who can determine if your effort is extraordinary or not because you are the definer of the word. But extraordinary is something that is exhilarating when you do attain it. It is a defining moment.
...but, what do you think?
Monday, March 11, 2013
Traveling along life's...
Too soppy a start? Probably but, you know, sometimes that's precisely how you feel or what you want your reader to see/sense. I'm a believer that life is a journey. A marvelous, adventuresome, exciting, over hill and dale opportunity to discover and learn. That's the spice in life and what it is all about or at least should be. Life shouldn't be a struggle or painful though you will always encounter both in your journey, but they should not beat you down. Being a phoenix does have its advantages.
Life should be one of your companions, your comrade as you wander along. Wandering is really quite a good description. Yes, we all need times of specificity and of direction but life also needs wandering times. But while life is the pathway on which you walk, you have to have your eyes looking outward with only an occasional look backward at where you've come. Life is also a teacher by your side - showing you all the delights that it brings to your days.
People also... people your travels. They may walk with you for a short time or perhaps a longer one, but they should never be used. They are companions that are available to teach you the things they've learned if you ask them. They may even be open to allowing you to teach them your lessons, but never miss what they might share. Like life, they are to be enjoyed for what they can share. And, for the time they are with you, they should help you to be a better you. If not, then disengage yourself from their company and influence. Not all people who people your travels will be 'good' for you but you can learn from this as well.
Traveling is something that should be enjoyed. After a point in time, standing still (though still with some value, ie. stop and smell the roses) ceases to be helpful or effective. And there is so much to discover, to learn, to enjoy whether alone or with a companion. Even the times you are winded from climbing up the hill. At the summit of your hill you can survey all that's around you... but don't tarry too long. And do enjoy the trip down the hill.
... but, what do you think?
Life should be one of your companions, your comrade as you wander along. Wandering is really quite a good description. Yes, we all need times of specificity and of direction but life also needs wandering times. But while life is the pathway on which you walk, you have to have your eyes looking outward with only an occasional look backward at where you've come. Life is also a teacher by your side - showing you all the delights that it brings to your days.
People also... people your travels. They may walk with you for a short time or perhaps a longer one, but they should never be used. They are companions that are available to teach you the things they've learned if you ask them. They may even be open to allowing you to teach them your lessons, but never miss what they might share. Like life, they are to be enjoyed for what they can share. And, for the time they are with you, they should help you to be a better you. If not, then disengage yourself from their company and influence. Not all people who people your travels will be 'good' for you but you can learn from this as well.
Traveling is something that should be enjoyed. After a point in time, standing still (though still with some value, ie. stop and smell the roses) ceases to be helpful or effective. And there is so much to discover, to learn, to enjoy whether alone or with a companion. Even the times you are winded from climbing up the hill. At the summit of your hill you can survey all that's around you... but don't tarry too long. And do enjoy the trip down the hill.
... but, what do you think?
Saturday, March 9, 2013
Yuko's
Too cavalier a designation? Perhaps but in our society there are few that wouldn't understand the word and what it was describing - something totally unacceptable but not to the category of totally evil. However, it is these little yuko's that trip us up. We would never succumb or engage in bad behaviors but we do and the problem is that they do lead to evil. Our problem is that we seem to not see these yuko's for the evil they are.
Examples? Proverbs 6:16-19 lists those things that the Lord hates: a proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run to evil, a false witness, a sower of discord. And of course the first thing we would say is that we wouldn't, don't do those things. Really.... What about a gossip? A gossip really does all the above. Think about it. It takes a decision to 'share' the words that are hurtful about another. And even if you don't start the comments, do you repeat them?
Yuko's are the path to even worse evil behaviors. What is a yuko? It's those words or behaviors that cause pain and hurt to others. However, what we don't always realize is that they cause us pain and hurt. Example: making fun of someone or joining in with those who are laughing at someone. The latter is as bad as the former. One of the issues when we find ourselves having acted in agreement, whether tacitly or actively, is... what do we do now? We have done the 'yuko' thing but will we compound it into evil?
I believe we have two things to do: One, apologize to the one who was impacted by our behavior (and their acceptance of our apology has nothing to do with what we need to offer it). Two, go to the Lord for forgiveness. We need to be aware of what led us into this behavior - wanting acceptance from those who were acting wrong? or feeling that the person 'deserved' our words or actions? Whatever the reason for our behavior it is crucial that we learn from it and be aware not to repeat it.
...but, what do you think?
Examples? Proverbs 6:16-19 lists those things that the Lord hates: a proud look, a lying tongue, hands that shed innocent blood, a heart that devises wicked plans, feet that run to evil, a false witness, a sower of discord. And of course the first thing we would say is that we wouldn't, don't do those things. Really.... What about a gossip? A gossip really does all the above. Think about it. It takes a decision to 'share' the words that are hurtful about another. And even if you don't start the comments, do you repeat them?
Yuko's are the path to even worse evil behaviors. What is a yuko? It's those words or behaviors that cause pain and hurt to others. However, what we don't always realize is that they cause us pain and hurt. Example: making fun of someone or joining in with those who are laughing at someone. The latter is as bad as the former. One of the issues when we find ourselves having acted in agreement, whether tacitly or actively, is... what do we do now? We have done the 'yuko' thing but will we compound it into evil?
I believe we have two things to do: One, apologize to the one who was impacted by our behavior (and their acceptance of our apology has nothing to do with what we need to offer it). Two, go to the Lord for forgiveness. We need to be aware of what led us into this behavior - wanting acceptance from those who were acting wrong? or feeling that the person 'deserved' our words or actions? Whatever the reason for our behavior it is crucial that we learn from it and be aware not to repeat it.
...but, what do you think?
Thursday, March 7, 2013
What IS Who
I'm afraid that I had fallen prey to the prevailing thinking that... it's what I do, not who I am. Stuff and nonsense. What you do is who you are. I think I became somewhat enamored with that phrase because of my math background which posited that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. This is one of those, true.... and yet. The point is that if it is what you are doing than it is who you are, at least at this point in time. Yet, it might not be the complete picture. Always remember that you really are more than the sum of your parts.
But referring to the what/who discussion, let me use myself as an example. I am a teacher. I have always been a teacher, even as a child. I loved the act of teaching, still do. I can't think of a greater passion and lifestyle. However, I'm not currently teaching which is probably why I write. Thus the what hasn't changed but the methodology has. If your 'what' is a passion, it will always be reflected in how you look at life, what defines who you are. And yet, what you do may not be the idealized form and definition of the word.
My kind of teaching is somewhat age specific - I'm really best with those who want to learn which is typically translated into graduate students or at least upperclass college students. As a teacher, my preferred method is teaching process rather than facts. My intent is to equip people to think, to continue growing and this requires a different approach than only teaching the facts. I ask questions, lots and lots of questions. Certainly you can learn 'my' facts, but you'll soon forget them but if I teach you a method, a way of determining 'facts' then you won't forget the process. While all this may sound quite meandering and structureless, it's not. If you discover then you are more likely to retain.
For any style of teaching, the joy is seeing the 'nickel drop' in the eyes of the students. Their 'ah ha' moment is the teachers confirmation that they have successfully taught. This moment is always the proof. Regardless of what it is you are doing, does my example explain? Can you see your passion in what you do? Though it may not be obvious to all, does your what confirm your who? If your answers to those questions is 'no' then you have one of two things you need to do. One is to reassess your what so that it matches not just the image of who you see yourself but who you really are. Two is to reassess who you see yourself as and change what you are doing. Otherwise, you will be miserable. There's a saying in scripture - that your gift will make a way for you. Your gift is your what. But you must contend for it.
...but, what do you think?
But referring to the what/who discussion, let me use myself as an example. I am a teacher. I have always been a teacher, even as a child. I loved the act of teaching, still do. I can't think of a greater passion and lifestyle. However, I'm not currently teaching which is probably why I write. Thus the what hasn't changed but the methodology has. If your 'what' is a passion, it will always be reflected in how you look at life, what defines who you are. And yet, what you do may not be the idealized form and definition of the word.
My kind of teaching is somewhat age specific - I'm really best with those who want to learn which is typically translated into graduate students or at least upperclass college students. As a teacher, my preferred method is teaching process rather than facts. My intent is to equip people to think, to continue growing and this requires a different approach than only teaching the facts. I ask questions, lots and lots of questions. Certainly you can learn 'my' facts, but you'll soon forget them but if I teach you a method, a way of determining 'facts' then you won't forget the process. While all this may sound quite meandering and structureless, it's not. If you discover then you are more likely to retain.
For any style of teaching, the joy is seeing the 'nickel drop' in the eyes of the students. Their 'ah ha' moment is the teachers confirmation that they have successfully taught. This moment is always the proof. Regardless of what it is you are doing, does my example explain? Can you see your passion in what you do? Though it may not be obvious to all, does your what confirm your who? If your answers to those questions is 'no' then you have one of two things you need to do. One is to reassess your what so that it matches not just the image of who you see yourself but who you really are. Two is to reassess who you see yourself as and change what you are doing. Otherwise, you will be miserable. There's a saying in scripture - that your gift will make a way for you. Your gift is your what. But you must contend for it.
...but, what do you think?
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
Our Source
Depending on the subject, we all turn to an 'expert' that we trust to provide their opinion on the particular subject in order for us to make sense of and decide on our position on the subject. Thus, the particular source is critically important. However since the source is always a human (even abstract concepts are presented by a human), how do we determine who is trustworthy, who doesn't have a personal agenda that they are trying to espouse? Personally, I've given up years ago that the news will be provided 'fairly' as information and not the agenda of the presenter.
Obviously who we trust will influence what and how and who we believe. Often 'tags' are used to identify people and their position: liberal, conservative, far right, far left; but have you also noted how the opposite position person is defined? Typically negatively. How often do we hear a liberal concurring with a conservative (and vice versa)? When you hear a word, such as 'Democrat' do you automatically also hear liberal, extreme or 'Republican' and hear reactive and uncaring? Probably, because the rhetoric screams tags on the tag.
Actually the real question is how confident are you in your source, remembering that your source is also relying on a source? Do you accept, unconditionally, whatever they say? How did they come to be your source in the first place? Were they recommended by someone (significant) you trust? And... have they ever been wrong? Have they ever admitted they were mistaken? Have they ever apologized? If the answer to the last 3 questions is 'no' then I might suggest you reassess who your source is or, minimally, include the opposite position presented by someone else.
I suspect that we don't give much thought to who we have 'adopted' as our source for information in our decision making. We may have adopted what a friend suggested or how our family believes (or the opposite) or other bases to accept and rely on a source. The question remains... should this continue? Do we ever take the time to really consider their positions on a host of issues that are important to us? And... yes, there is one source that can be counted on to have our best interests at heart, who is always right and fair and just and a vast number of other qualities - you can always rely on the Lord and His Word, the Bible, as your source. All you need do is to trust and then follow.
...but, what do you think?
Obviously who we trust will influence what and how and who we believe. Often 'tags' are used to identify people and their position: liberal, conservative, far right, far left; but have you also noted how the opposite position person is defined? Typically negatively. How often do we hear a liberal concurring with a conservative (and vice versa)? When you hear a word, such as 'Democrat' do you automatically also hear liberal, extreme or 'Republican' and hear reactive and uncaring? Probably, because the rhetoric screams tags on the tag.
Actually the real question is how confident are you in your source, remembering that your source is also relying on a source? Do you accept, unconditionally, whatever they say? How did they come to be your source in the first place? Were they recommended by someone (significant) you trust? And... have they ever been wrong? Have they ever admitted they were mistaken? Have they ever apologized? If the answer to the last 3 questions is 'no' then I might suggest you reassess who your source is or, minimally, include the opposite position presented by someone else.
I suspect that we don't give much thought to who we have 'adopted' as our source for information in our decision making. We may have adopted what a friend suggested or how our family believes (or the opposite) or other bases to accept and rely on a source. The question remains... should this continue? Do we ever take the time to really consider their positions on a host of issues that are important to us? And... yes, there is one source that can be counted on to have our best interests at heart, who is always right and fair and just and a vast number of other qualities - you can always rely on the Lord and His Word, the Bible, as your source. All you need do is to trust and then follow.
...but, what do you think?
Sunday, March 3, 2013
Who are you trying to please?
And, if your answer is, 'no one', then I suggest you take stock of you and your behavior. My belief is that we all are trying to please someone. It's really OK as long as the one you are attempting to please is worth your effort. You see, we choose who we will please. There may be many competing voices for that place, but ultimately it is our choice. Therefore, it really is important who we choose.
In considering who we choose, on some level of consciousness, we determine what qualities are important to us, such as: what they can do for us. Though we might choose the person who has already done something for us. We may have a variety of others that we want to please and the person we want to please may change. Regardless, who we choose is important (also realizing that if you please one 'significant' other you may displease a different 'significant' other.) This last reality may cause reconsideration of the whole 'please' issue.
Perhaps you like to 'hedge your bet' in that you have primary and secondary people you want to please. This too can be difficult to accomplish... and the big question - why should you? I ultimately came to the conclusion that if I did not please myself (as well?) then the entire situation leaves a slightly bad taste in the mouth. It really can't be only pleasing self. Personally, I finally arrived at the point that the only one that I realllllly needed to please was the Lord.
If my words and behavior is pleasing to the Lord then everything is covered. If I do encounter disapproval from others or rejection, while it isn't pleasant, I don't need to justify why I did/said what I did. And, I don't need to take offense. This last point is, for me, the most critical. It may turn out to be an iron sharpening iron situation, a difference in opinion, etc. but if I am doing everything that I know to do what the Lord wants from me then I am on sound standing.
The point in this is me and my reactions to others' reaction. Intially I have the 'control' of deciding who I am pleasing and lastly how I respond.
...but, what do you think?
In considering who we choose, on some level of consciousness, we determine what qualities are important to us, such as: what they can do for us. Though we might choose the person who has already done something for us. We may have a variety of others that we want to please and the person we want to please may change. Regardless, who we choose is important (also realizing that if you please one 'significant' other you may displease a different 'significant' other.) This last reality may cause reconsideration of the whole 'please' issue.
Perhaps you like to 'hedge your bet' in that you have primary and secondary people you want to please. This too can be difficult to accomplish... and the big question - why should you? I ultimately came to the conclusion that if I did not please myself (as well?) then the entire situation leaves a slightly bad taste in the mouth. It really can't be only pleasing self. Personally, I finally arrived at the point that the only one that I realllllly needed to please was the Lord.
If my words and behavior is pleasing to the Lord then everything is covered. If I do encounter disapproval from others or rejection, while it isn't pleasant, I don't need to justify why I did/said what I did. And, I don't need to take offense. This last point is, for me, the most critical. It may turn out to be an iron sharpening iron situation, a difference in opinion, etc. but if I am doing everything that I know to do what the Lord wants from me then I am on sound standing.
The point in this is me and my reactions to others' reaction. Intially I have the 'control' of deciding who I am pleasing and lastly how I respond.
...but, what do you think?
Friday, March 1, 2013
Miscellaneous
What a great word! The word can be used in so many ways and in so many situations and, contrary to many words, everyone understands what you are trying to do - lump disparate items together without really identifying what they are or do... or even if they are related in any fashion. It's where you can 'put' thoughts or ideas that you don't know what to do with yet and still, don't want to lose. To me, miscellaneous is like a junk drawer - a place to put 'things'. The problems can be: actually finding what you are hunting for when you open the junk drawer and/or a kind of outta sight outta mind reality. But there's also the possibility of... discovery!
Actually the outta sight, outta mind can be fun because once you start rummaging around in the Miscellaneous 'drawer', the item(s) you come across can spark new thoughts about what to do with them. I think we should be calling our junk or miscellaneous drawer, the 'Creative' drawer as you can develop new uses for what you find. Facetious? Only a tad. However, is it 'junk' you put into the drawer? Or are they items that could be used in the future and thus possessing value? This is a kind of 'pack rat' mentality related to ideas and thoughts.
I've always appreciated the word 'miscellaneous' and when returning to that drawer or file, discover some fascinating items. Items that I had forgotten I had and subsequently repurchased, items that have new uses now, items that send me off on a tangent... What a 'fun' way to engage the mind when you rummage through miscellaneous. Occasionally you actually find the item you rummaged in the drawer for in the first place. An item that you wanted - this is always a pleasant surprise.
As you can see, I really like 'miscellaneous'. It's a place that I go to and attempt to organize on a somewhat regular basis. Part of the reason is that I seriously do enjoy re-discovery and that can be easily accomplished in miscellaneous land. Part of the reason is that I'm a tangent-er and this often provides a new tangent to pursue. I suspect all this points to my ponder-er and wonder-er nature.
...but, what do you think?
Actually the outta sight, outta mind can be fun because once you start rummaging around in the Miscellaneous 'drawer', the item(s) you come across can spark new thoughts about what to do with them. I think we should be calling our junk or miscellaneous drawer, the 'Creative' drawer as you can develop new uses for what you find. Facetious? Only a tad. However, is it 'junk' you put into the drawer? Or are they items that could be used in the future and thus possessing value? This is a kind of 'pack rat' mentality related to ideas and thoughts.
I've always appreciated the word 'miscellaneous' and when returning to that drawer or file, discover some fascinating items. Items that I had forgotten I had and subsequently repurchased, items that have new uses now, items that send me off on a tangent... What a 'fun' way to engage the mind when you rummage through miscellaneous. Occasionally you actually find the item you rummaged in the drawer for in the first place. An item that you wanted - this is always a pleasant surprise.
As you can see, I really like 'miscellaneous'. It's a place that I go to and attempt to organize on a somewhat regular basis. Part of the reason is that I seriously do enjoy re-discovery and that can be easily accomplished in miscellaneous land. Part of the reason is that I'm a tangent-er and this often provides a new tangent to pursue. I suspect all this points to my ponder-er and wonder-er nature.
...but, what do you think?
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