Wrong? Right? Both?

  You do realize that it may not be a case of you doing something 'wrong', you simply may not be doing something right. And while the right/wrong line may blur a bit, they really are not the same thing. Actually the only commonality is the 'actor' - you. Is this simply another not so subtle attempt to focus on critical thinking???? Absolutely! Since the focal point - you - is not in question then what surrounds the focal point becomes the issue. (And no, I'm not just playing word games.)

 Before you decide that you are doing something wrong - analyze the situation. Are you wrong or is it a matter of timing? Or not doing what's necessary... first? Or??? Wrong may clearly be the 'wrong' designation and you need to rethink what you are doing and your sequencing. And no, I'm not getting esoteric. Asking you to hone your analysis 'tools' - yes.

  First: try and get the emotion out of the equation. Yes, it isn't easy but how you define 'right', 'wrong', saving face, etc. has a tremendous impact on what you do and how you do it. If accomplishing the goal is more important than you being  right (saving face) then you can be more dispassionate. This also speaks volumes about your character to others and your trust level really increases. 

  Second: remember that your approach may be the problem and not the other variables. The problem may be that you're not doing (it) right. Analyzing your process, procedures to see if an adjustment is needed will also allow you to monitor your progress toward the goal. These two very simple steps may determine the answer to the question of whether you are wrong or whether you are simply not right.

...but, what do you think? what do you believe?

know...

  Admittedly, I would insist that we really DO need to know (fill in the blank). But... could I be wrong? Is it possible to have too much access to the sources of knowledge? Notice the word is 'access' and not a rejection of knowing. With today's instant availability, suddenly we're faced with two problems:  1- the veracity of the information provided and 2- what we really need to know - you have to admit that there is a great deal of 'fluff' and 'confidential source' thus no way to substantiate. Plus there are never ending sources of information and never ending areas/subjects to know.

  Part of the answer to those issues underscores what we 'do' with the information. IF we are going to cite the information then there has to be a level of confidence in the source. But determining if we can trust the source is critical and somewhat tricky. Unfortunately, we aren't always able to verify the
reliability of the source - and do remember that past performance is never proof of current behavior. Our source may have a source who is in error and thus only repeating. Sometimes it seems that the information is unduly biased or there is misdirection or it is misleading - that there is no such thing as 'pure' information.

  More and more we seem to be returning to (or need to) the old adage that if you didn't see with your own eyes or hear with your own ears, then take it is a possible but not a definite 'truth'. Another way of saying it is ... take what is said with a grain of salt and/or consider the source. The dilemma is the need to know and the trust of the information... never an easy balancing act. If the information is not for distribution then we have some time to see how this 'plays out'. But if it is repeated and/or relied on then the quality of knowing has to be of high integrity.

  'How' we know is as important as 'what' we know or need to know. What's important to know? Even more important is: what's simply important to know and where to find the needed information... when it's needed?

...but, what do you think? what do you believe?

A Person of your word

  Are you a person of your word? Is your 'yes', yes and 'no', no? Perhaps your word is... maybe? Or... I don't know? But most important, if there is a change in your thinking or actions, do you let others know? If other people are relying on what you have said then what you say takes on incredible importance and should never be given lightly. Yes?

  I really can't think of anything that's more important than being a person of your word. Quite honestly, how can anyone believe in/rely on what you say if you aren't? And excuses really aren't sufficient.  It is not enough to say (typically after the fact) "...what I really meant was..." or "...things changed so I couldn't (or didn't)..." or "...I knew you'd understand when I didn't..." You have just called your character into question. Minimally you'd have caused the other person to wonder if you are reliable.

  A far better approach is to, as much as possible, ALWAYS let those who would be affected by a change in what your expected action would be to know as soon as you've changed. If the choice is between looking silly for changing (or for not taking the new approach initially) and letting them know versus letting them believe what you had initially intended would occur - choose letting them know. What will happen to your reputation and relationships when you do not let others know is far worse than letting them know.

  And yes... I realize that there is a probability that no one is 100% spot on with this quality, but I do believe it is something we can all aspire to. To be known as a person of your word has to be one of the highest accolades one can receive. Consistent, reliable, trustworthy, dependable are not qualities to play fast and loose with - you have to cultivate them. Bottom line is that you have to be a person of your word.

...but, what do you think? what do you believe?

Waste...

  I think my least favorite word is 'waste'. To me it always means, simply, thrown away 'opportunity'. I would also contend that waste is a conscious act, willful and it always indicates  - loss. While you may argue with my 'conscious act' designation - consider how you know it's waste.

  More important - do you sometimes feel like you've wasted your time? or your resources? or your opportunities? or... That 'they' are gone and can't be retrieved. While the 'source' of some of the waste can be laid at your own feet - not all. Sometimes the waste was not your doing but you reaped the results. How does it make you feel? Numb? Frustrated? Lost? Helpless? And now... what do you do?

  We've all felt this way at some time or other, and probably more than once. And what if you have wasted your (fill in the blank), what now? It isn't always easy to simply pick up the pieces and start again.? move on? What are your options? Do you look for someone anyone to blame? Do you wallow - well, yes, I think we all spend some of the time in a pity party. And then???

  For me, once I've emerged from either feeling sorry for myself or irritated at what happened - at the apparent loss; my next thought is to analyze where I am, if something's been lost, what can I do to either retrieve the loss or substitute or?? That's because my personal philosophy is analyze and move on - create a new opportunity and do whatever damage control is necessary. But what is your personal philosophy - what do you do? Not what would you like to think you would do - what do you do?

  A 'waste' may be an impetus to something new or different, a waste doesn't need to be viewed totally negatively. You can use what you learned from the situation. Simply... waste doesn't have to stay as waste. Waste can be a new beginning, a springboard. It really depends on what you want to do with... waste.

...but, what do you think? what do you believe? 

Building an Ark

  Have you ever, in your wildest dreams, considered that, like Noah, God is asking you to build an Ark? Maybe not a literal ark, but still it feels like an ark. Surely not!? And the reason you are exempt is...??? Maybe you need to look at what you are being asked to be, to do. Then again, maybe you aren't being asked to build an ark... Sometimes it's all a matter of perspective.

  Consider Noah. He was asked by God (no mistaking the source) to build something he had no idea what it was let alone how to go about building it. And the reason... to protect his family and some animals against the upcoming flood - and he had never, ever experienced rain! And after the command there was no further word from God.... for over 100 YEARS! Yet... Noah persevered and in the face of ridicule from everyone. Could/Would you do this?

  We rarely are asked to act based on that high level of faith. We may be asked to stretch the faith we do have, to let it grow but we are never asked to go to places that we can't handle. In these situations we need to believe that we can do what's asked and that whatever we are asked to do, the Lord always provides for us... as we act in faith. The question should be... what do we believe the Lord is asking you to do? And what is your answer? The irony, at least in my thinking, is that as we choose to act on what's being asked, we discover more about ourselves and more about the Lord. And it's all good.

  There is a scripture that speaks to this: Ephesians 2:10 - "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." (see also 1 Corinthians 3:9). The key points are: His workmanship, good works, prepared beforehand. IF we believe this then we can partner with God's plans for us and confidently realize that if we are asked to build an ark, we will be prepared and able to accomplish this.


...but, what do you think? what do you believe?

WORDS!!!

  Except for expletives, I don't think I've ever met a word I didn't like. I love words! To say that I'm a word person is an understatement. Obviously one of the attributes I enjoy most  about words is that they are vehicles of expression as well as communication. In case you might take issue with me, try and keep anger out of your tone when you are really angry. You can't! And this goes for all the other word-emotions out there: love, joy, happiness, miffed, etc. The relationship between words and tone are inseparable.

  The only real problem with words is that we all specially define them and then somehow expect others to automatically understand without providing our definition. We can all agree/disagree when we're on the same page but never assume everyone is on the same page. Quite honestly it isn't important to agree with the definition, but it will explain what is being said because we all use words assuming the other person will know and understand what we're saying (even when we don't). Simple example: How many times have you witnessed a conversation and realized that the two people involved were saying the same thing but using different words?! The opposite is also true - seemingly to be saying the same thing but it's obvious that they are meaning two entirely different things.

   Words are incredibly important, especially if you want to communicate with someone and not just yell over the other person's voice. Words are meant to convey a thought, a feeling, a passion to another. Words can uplift. They can cause immense pain. Words can provide the means to new discoveries. They can hold a person in bondage because of an assumed definition. They are NOT to be taken lightly... and I suspect that they are all too easily tossed around.

  When it comes to communication - never assume. Find out what the other person is actually saying. In a very real way, you are holding the other person as well as yourself to an accountability of what is being said - no excuse of I thought you meant... or of misunderstanding the message. It's probably the reason that I'm always saying... define your words. At that point neither the person defining or you can misunderstand what is meant.

 ...but, what do you think? what do you believe?

Equilibrium

  or... balancing act, or... juggling. That's what we all face - attempting to balance responsibilities and goals and plans and expectations and family and hopes and wants and... After being involved with this for what seems a very, very long time there's a kind of 'but what about ME' that emerges. Not surprising and understandable. However, what do you do when the immovable object of all the demands and you collide?

  Can equilibrium be achieved? Probably not. But that is a challenge for us that is far too enticing not to attempt. Besides - if achieved it would be sheer ecstasy, even if it lasted only a moment. The feeling of equilibrium, though rarely if ever achieved, is something to be savored and by extension - sought after. On the more serious side, equilibrium - if achieved - is really all it's cracked up to be because it is a moment in which all of the demands on our lives lined up with all the resources in our lives. This happy 'marriage' diminishes stress completely.

  The issue is, in my estimation, to consider all one's demands (whether want or expectation or responsibility) and one's resources. Those demands that can not or never be attained due to a lack of resources or the ability to allocate resources should be either eliminated or put on the shelf for a later time. Demands will always increase but the decision is whether or not to accept them. If you can't or don't want to and you have the choice then don't become ensnared by them. If, for whatever reason, you have to accept them then you'll need to make the hard decision of what to eliminate.

 There is a law in chemistry that talks about the fact that the state of equilibrium is always sought by objects in opposition, regardless as to whether they are static or dynamic. That state is balance. Achievable? Very doubtful but that doesn't stop us from trying. The mental picture I always get is standing in the middle of the teeter totter and trying to get both sides even with how I stand and shift my weight. Ever try this? If you do then you'll understand the balancing act that we all go through - daily. With some people it isn't a balancing attempt it is a juggling event. Regardless... don't get into the fallacy of borrowing from Peter to pay Paul. Peter will require repayment.

...but, what do you think? what do you believe?

Quality of living

  How do you define 'quality of life'? Without a definition, description how will you know you are or are not experiencing it?  It really isn't important if your definition is (or not) similar to anyone else - we all have our own definitions. Regardless, the important question, after definition, is: what are you doing right now to attain your quality of life? What are your basic needs/wants that comprise your components and which ones are in the 'it would be nice' category? Are you willing to settle for less than what you want or will you continue to work to complete your roster?

  I suspect there are certain basic components we all share such as shelter, food, safety. However, then we get into the 'refinement' stage on these because what may be satisfactory for one may not meet the minimum standard for another. There may be agreement on the components that make up our quality of life but how this gets defined may differ significantly. Plus... these components may not be ordered in the same way. What may be critically important to me may be only slightly important for you.

  If you aren't working toward the accomplishment of this goal then you are in a survival mode... or perhaps you are in the immediate gratification mode. There is nothing 'wrong' with enjoying the fruits of your labors now but it is self defeating to use up all your resources. The 'eat, drink and be merry' philosophy shouldn't be the guide but neither should you overly sacrifice. You can strike a balance.

  Whatever age you are, it isn't too early to consider this question for yourself. The obvious reason is that you want to be able to experience and enjoy your quality of life regardless of your age - it really should never be relegated to... later. There is no reason to work to be able to experiences this 'when you retire'. It isn't totally for then and there, it is also a here and now. As you are on your journey to be able to experience the fullness of what quality of life is for you, enjoy the 'level' you have already attained.

...but, what do you think? what do you believe?

Plans... subject to change

  I'm a great believer in goal setting. And I dearly love checking off an object benchmark on my way to the goal. However, I'm also open to either a different approach to attaining the goal or a complete change entirely (and yes, I always have a vested interest in attaining the goal or I wouldn't start in the first place). Another way of saying that is to say - if God wants to interrupt what I'm doing, for whatever reason, I have absolutely no problem with this.

  That 'interruption' may take the form of another person making an observation or comment, or it could be that disquieting check in my spirit that makes me rethink, or it could be new information that changes either the goal or the path to the goal. Whatever the basis for the interruption - it causes an analysis of what and why and how concerning the goal.

  I don't consider these interruptions as a 'no', don't proceed but neither do I dismiss them. I consider them as pauses. Pauses are really kind of neat because in the pause you reconsider based on current knowledge not then (start of project) knowledge. However if it's a God 'no' then change the goal, plan. The one thing I've learned is that you really can trust Him and that He has your best interests at heart... because He does. It has taken me a long time to not need a 'why' response when it is a God 'no' - all other no's I do need a why.

  Plans are important but they really can't be in cement because life isn't in cement. At the same time, never consider Plans as fickle either. By definition, Plans have a purpose, a reason, not a 'sounds like a good idea'. Plans are always a capital 'P'. Plans are strong because often they have to withstand all of what man and nature throws at them. Plans are also based on timing - sometimes the plan is good but the timing isn't. You can 'own' a plan... but never let the plan own you or you'll find your feet in cement.

...but, what do you think? what do you believe?

Your Life... Worth Living?

  I think there is little argument that a life worth living is what we all want - to be, to have such a life. However, I also suspect that except for the broad brushstroke of  'aspects', this is defined differently for each person. Personalize it. What are the components that comprise your 'Life Worth Living'? Did you develop your components or did they emerge from what you perceive as the expectations from others from/for you? For whom/what are you living your life?

  There are multitudinous components that you can choose to help you develop your definition and the ranking of the components will typically vary over time. What may have been critical at one point in your life can become less important in later years, as well as the reverse. I would argue that it is the qualities that define your life that will emerge as the strongest determinant of 'worth'.

  An important mental exercise is to sit in some quiet spot and engage in a hard 'look' at your life. Does it match your goals and ambitions? To some degree, I would imagine, you would be able to answer 'yes'. But... it is the intangible qualities that emerge as the critical consideration of 'success'. Again, each of us may define this differently - that's not as important as knowing what defines your life. How can you change, delete, add, refine without that basis?

  There is no right or wrong answer to these questions - only your answers. Remember that it is never too late to live a life worth living - perhaps you took a wrong turn or maybe detoured as you've gone along, but it is never too late. If you are not pleased... then change. Too easy? No. Change can always occur, even in confined spaces. Perhaps the change is in the definition of the quality or its location on your list. If you are one of those rare individuals who is living your life worth living - you are blessed indeed.

...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
 

Your 'who'

   If there is one word that describes your 'who' it's character. There are a number of attributes that describe/define character such as integrity, honesty, reliability, etc. However, in my world of definitions, bottom line, when everything is stripped away, you are your character. Webster has multiple definitions of the word - character:  "the complex of mental and ethical traits marking and often individualizing a person;  a person marked by notable or conspicuous traits." I believe that it is best displayed/seen in crisis situations. So what does that look like? How does this define and describe you?

  My questions are: If you were to meet you, would you like you? Do you think you'd trust you? If you were in a place where you needed assistance, would you ask you for help? If you were going to celebrate something special or significant in your life, would you ask you to participate? The answers to those questions disclose your character. And yes, there are a great number of other questions but these 'surface' answers will lead you to a beginning understanding of you. Whether or not you appreciate what emerges, you can't deny the answers.  It takes courage to face who you are - both the positive as well as the negative - not just one.

  If you've never thought about yourself in terms of your character - you should. Your character will be evident to others - partially from your words but mostly from your behavior. But it states very clearly who you are. Since character is visible through your actions, your words either confirm or deny what you do. People, however, are more prone to believe what they see, what they experience over just what you say.

  You always are in a position of consciously or not, refining your character. Every experience impacts on who you are. Are you stuck with your character? Yes, unless you consciously decide to change it and are willing to honestly look at who are you, determine who you want to be, and work on making the changes necessary to become who you will be.

 ...but, what do you think? what do you believe?

Introduction

  It’s all about you, you do realize - yes? Always has been, always will be. How you act and react is dependent upon what you believe, what you think, what you feel. And the foundation for this 
are your experiences and your frame of reference - which shapes you.  Are you doomed/blessed to be in this state forever? Absolutely not! This is why I said that it is all about you. YOU have the power, ability to make a paradigm shift but only when you determine that a change is in your best interests and your risk to reward factor is skewed toward ‘reward’.

  This blog continues the theme/thrust of the ‘parent’ blog - Me & Thee, which I described as “…a dialogue, a conversation between us - you and me - on life, living and other important stuffs”. Each post will explore a topic/subject/thought that will invite you to discover, rediscover and/or refine who you are now. And why. I believe that our ‘whys’ are as important as our ‘whats’. Think of this as a conversation and I’m discussing a problem or asking question(s) and seeking your thinking. 

  As context to my approach, my personal predisposition is a Christian perspective. While it can be argued that not every post is Christian based, we are living in this world, albeit not of it, thus these are issues we all face.  Also I have this belief that every issue does have a Christian response. Hopefully these thoughts will direct you to delve more deeply into what they mean for you.

  In terms of 'style' - the teacher in me is first and foremost a poser of questions. My goal, when I was teaching in college was not to have the students parrot back what I knew and believed but for them to do some critical thinking to determine what they believed... and why. Why is always incredibly important and 'because' is not a solid foundation. My secondary goal was not to have them memorize facts and figures but to know 'how' and 'where' to find the information. 

  I write like I talk so this will read as if we were sitting down chatting/nattering over a cuppa and I’m talking at the moment. And yes, I know one shouldn’t end a sentence with a preposition… however, I do. I also talk in phrases not necessarily sentences. There won't be a daily posting but I will attempt to have 3 or 4 entries each week for you to '...engage the little grey cells' (sorry, I'm a hopeless Poirot fan). My goal will be to provide the topic, not to tell you what to think. I hope I will engage you in your discovery of those issues that impact and define - you.

… but what do you think, what do you believe???