How many times have we heard this... or said it? I really don't think many of us possess a large dose of patience - I know I don't. We want to get to wherever the destination is, but that mindset typically precludes us from enjoying and appreciating the journey. And truly that's what we need to do - actually see and hear what's in the trip. There are so many things we can learn but there is also the simple pleasure of enjoying the time.
Regardless of what's 'there' when we get there, most of us don't focus on the 'going', we focus on the 'there'. But what would happen if we did begin to look around at the passing scenery? We certainly wouldn't get to our destination any later nor would we arrive sooner. Most people would turn on their radio or put in a CD. If there were passengers, even 'children', entertaining them would be one of the foremost thoughts. However, if there are others with us, do we use that time to share, to learn more about them or if they are a 'known', simply take them for granted? Does silence prevail?
The one thing about this kind of journey is that you are either alone with your thoughts, attempting to cover up your thoughts with music or the radio, or mindless conversation. Whether the trip takes hours or less than 30 minutes, this can be a very valuable time in your day. Somehow we need to transcend the 'are we there yet' mindset. If there are others with us who are anxious about the getting there, we can be a calming influence if our attitude is one of 'let's enjoy the trip'. Discovering more about your companions (or if alone, yourself) can be invaluable.
I don't think I was always quite that sanguine... but maybe. I loved getting in the car and going wherever we were going. It was fun playing the mind games we did like how many state tags do you see, or how many different kinds of animals, or how far away in miles a certain object was. Simple? Yes but I still remember these things so.... a delightful memory as well. Obviously we eventually 'got there' but the getting there was.... priceless.
... so, are you there yet?
Friday, May 31, 2013
Tuesday, May 28, 2013
Living with YOUR Mistakes...
What happens when you do make a mistake? We all do, you know. And the 'mistakes' I'm talking about are the ones that are yours... all yours. Not the ones others may make that affect you and what you do, these are solely yours. What do you do? Even the really 'Big' ones... You still have to 'go on' but what's your 'going on' style? This is not an 'oh gee, sorry' regardless of he size and type of mistake... how do you handle it?
I think one of the salient questions is - do you continue to live with them or do you learn from them and move on? Do you 'rehearse' in your mind, replaying what happened? Not that this accomplishes very much but I suspect we all waste some time in this pursuit. If you live with them... why? Once you've analyze why you did what you did, what's the point of rehashing it? The hardest thing for us to do is to admit we did make a mistake, apologize (if that's required and it typically is), and then leave it. Move on. And forgive yourself.
I'm not suggesting that you excuse your behavior if you did it intentionally and then got caught, but I am suggesting that you admit the truth and focus on your now. If you end up losing something as a result of your actions or words then that's the reality of what you sowed. You always reap what you sow but you don't have to wallow, you don't have to continue in that state. Others may not forgive you and that too is part of the reaping. These are some of the hard issues you deal with when you live with your mistakes.
Forgiveness is hard and sometimes seems impossible when it is our own selves that are in need of forgiveness. We have to forgive in order to move on. Whether we are forgiving others or forgiving ourselves. Without forgiveness I don't believe that we grow and improve and change and continue. It is critical that we continue and that's how we live with our mistakes. You don't necessarily forget but you do forgive and then you can move on.
... do you forgive?
I think one of the salient questions is - do you continue to live with them or do you learn from them and move on? Do you 'rehearse' in your mind, replaying what happened? Not that this accomplishes very much but I suspect we all waste some time in this pursuit. If you live with them... why? Once you've analyze why you did what you did, what's the point of rehashing it? The hardest thing for us to do is to admit we did make a mistake, apologize (if that's required and it typically is), and then leave it. Move on. And forgive yourself.
I'm not suggesting that you excuse your behavior if you did it intentionally and then got caught, but I am suggesting that you admit the truth and focus on your now. If you end up losing something as a result of your actions or words then that's the reality of what you sowed. You always reap what you sow but you don't have to wallow, you don't have to continue in that state. Others may not forgive you and that too is part of the reaping. These are some of the hard issues you deal with when you live with your mistakes.
Forgiveness is hard and sometimes seems impossible when it is our own selves that are in need of forgiveness. We have to forgive in order to move on. Whether we are forgiving others or forgiving ourselves. Without forgiveness I don't believe that we grow and improve and change and continue. It is critical that we continue and that's how we live with our mistakes. You don't necessarily forget but you do forgive and then you can move on.
... do you forgive?
Thursday, May 23, 2013
Patterns
Patterns... if you stop long enough to look back, do you see a pattern? Your pattern. Does your life reflect a pattern of line-upon-line or is it more of a hodge podge... regardless, do you see what your pattern is and how it has and is determining who and what you are? What does your pattern tell you... especially about yourself? Do you see your character, your qualities, your warts in your life? Do you see how far you've come? And do you see what patterns you've kept, which ones you've added, and which ones no longer exist for your life?
Actually, after you've looked - do you see how you got to where you are and do you want to continue in this direction? At any point in our lives, when we take the time to stop long enough to reassess where we are and how we got there, we have the opportunity to change, or refine, or continue. Your decision is based on the pattern you see behind you and the goal you've fixed before you. And yes, there are 'impacting' forces but the impact too is your decision. Have these forces determined your patterns?
Some people refuse to acknowledge that they have a pattern but also would never consider that their approach to decisions was a kind of will of the wisp approach. Firstly - we aren't always logical in our decision making, even the most conscientious of us. Secondly - there are times of high pressure or not really having sufficient information or not being in the position to actually make or influence a decision but still having the responsibility. This last situation is the one I dislike the most. But once a decision is made, do you see your pattern in the decision?
Patterns exist. Whether or not we like to think we can be somewhat predictable, we are. And that isn't necessarily 'bad'. Knowing our patterns allows us to understand and make sense of what occurs. Knowing our patterns gives us a point of departure, a place to grow from. Also, the pattern may be precisely what you need and/or want. This is again an 'attitude' issue. It's also a character point. And all this coupled with the other attitude and character issues tells you and others... who you are, and how you express your who. Continue the pattern? Experiment with it? Throw it out? Your decision.
...but, what do you think?
Actually, after you've looked - do you see how you got to where you are and do you want to continue in this direction? At any point in our lives, when we take the time to stop long enough to reassess where we are and how we got there, we have the opportunity to change, or refine, or continue. Your decision is based on the pattern you see behind you and the goal you've fixed before you. And yes, there are 'impacting' forces but the impact too is your decision. Have these forces determined your patterns?
Some people refuse to acknowledge that they have a pattern but also would never consider that their approach to decisions was a kind of will of the wisp approach. Firstly - we aren't always logical in our decision making, even the most conscientious of us. Secondly - there are times of high pressure or not really having sufficient information or not being in the position to actually make or influence a decision but still having the responsibility. This last situation is the one I dislike the most. But once a decision is made, do you see your pattern in the decision?
Patterns exist. Whether or not we like to think we can be somewhat predictable, we are. And that isn't necessarily 'bad'. Knowing our patterns allows us to understand and make sense of what occurs. Knowing our patterns gives us a point of departure, a place to grow from. Also, the pattern may be precisely what you need and/or want. This is again an 'attitude' issue. It's also a character point. And all this coupled with the other attitude and character issues tells you and others... who you are, and how you express your who. Continue the pattern? Experiment with it? Throw it out? Your decision.
...but, what do you think?
Tuesday, May 21, 2013
Crossroads...
At various times throughout our lives we come to crossroads. Some are a simple choosing of ... the easiest looking road or perhaps, 'the road less traveled'? Some are significant, an ethical choice. Some are forcing us to choose between two unknowns, or two goods, or bads, or wanting both. But unless we want to stand indefinitely in the place of indecision, eventually we do need to make a choice. Another question that impacts the decision is our view of whether some choices are reversible - can we ever go back and do a 're do'?
When you come to your crossroad do you have clearly in mind your basis for making a decision? How are you deciding? These are the times that we typically feel the most rushed to make a decision, any decision, and these are definitely the times that we shouldn't rush the decision... especially if there's no turning back. Regardless of the context of the need for a decision, while I don't see the need to 'burn bridges', I think we have to assume that there will be no going back. There's something that seems to compel us to move forward, to push through rather than retracing steps.
While crossroads make us stop, they can also become excellent times of reassessing if the path we are on continues to be viable for us. Perhaps, of the options available to us, continuing on the path we are is not in our best interests, that we need to enhance our opportunity for success. Or maybe we reaffirm that this particular road IS the road to our fulfillment. Now that we are at a crossroad, we need to have the goal firmly in mind or we need to refine that goal based on the options the crossroad presents.
It may be that the primary value of a crossroad is to help us face our issues in our life, to reassess our own character as well as the obvious decision of which road to follow. Crossroads can be an effective method to aid us in being conscious of our traits and behaviors. Who we want to be make become a crossroad. In the final analysis though is our determination of what we think about the crossroads in our life? How do you make your decision at this time?
Are you there now???
When you come to your crossroad do you have clearly in mind your basis for making a decision? How are you deciding? These are the times that we typically feel the most rushed to make a decision, any decision, and these are definitely the times that we shouldn't rush the decision... especially if there's no turning back. Regardless of the context of the need for a decision, while I don't see the need to 'burn bridges', I think we have to assume that there will be no going back. There's something that seems to compel us to move forward, to push through rather than retracing steps.
While crossroads make us stop, they can also become excellent times of reassessing if the path we are on continues to be viable for us. Perhaps, of the options available to us, continuing on the path we are is not in our best interests, that we need to enhance our opportunity for success. Or maybe we reaffirm that this particular road IS the road to our fulfillment. Now that we are at a crossroad, we need to have the goal firmly in mind or we need to refine that goal based on the options the crossroad presents.
It may be that the primary value of a crossroad is to help us face our issues in our life, to reassess our own character as well as the obvious decision of which road to follow. Crossroads can be an effective method to aid us in being conscious of our traits and behaviors. Who we want to be make become a crossroad. In the final analysis though is our determination of what we think about the crossroads in our life? How do you make your decision at this time?
Are you there now???
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Travel Lessons
Whether you've been on your road for a long time or a short time doesn't matter. The question is... what have you learned from your journey? There are always lessons to be learned each day if you are open to them. There are also discoveries to make, people to interact with... actually your day is full. But you have to be willing to be involved with what you learn, discover, meet.
Not all lessons are pleasant but all lessons provide you with new or renewed learning and discoveries. How you integrate them into your frame of reference is the more important question. Every day life teaches us new lessons or reinforces lessons already learned. But sometimes it is a brand new learning. It makes no difference if 'everyone knows', when it's new to you - it's a new learning. There may be nothing new under the sun but since not everyone knows everything, every day has the possibility to provide new learnings or new understandings.... that's exciting!
However, the caveat in this is that it is our responsibility to put to use what we discover and learn. Simply because life presents lessons means nothing until the lessons are applied. Most of the time, life lessons on our journey are experiential learned. These kinds of learnings have immediate application. What is learned typically stays with you always and it underscores other learnings.
What also needs to be acknowledged is that there are negative lessons as well as positive ones. How we relate to the day typically depends on which of the two we emphasize and focus on. Both teach, both tell us more about ourselves and how we react. Both are indispensable for growth. The life lessons we learn on our journey are not experienced or maintained in isolation. They are building blocks - sometimes they complement each other, occasionally they seem to contradict. Together, though, they form how we interact with our world.
So what are the Life Lessons discovered on our journey? They are those understandings that form the core of our individual MO. They are part of the vast storehouse of information but are the significant influences on our lives. They also typically can be recalled in complete detail because they are our building blocks. Life lessons learned as we travel should also be shared with others on their road. Then listen to their lessons to increase your understanding.
...what have you learned lately?
Not all lessons are pleasant but all lessons provide you with new or renewed learning and discoveries. How you integrate them into your frame of reference is the more important question. Every day life teaches us new lessons or reinforces lessons already learned. But sometimes it is a brand new learning. It makes no difference if 'everyone knows', when it's new to you - it's a new learning. There may be nothing new under the sun but since not everyone knows everything, every day has the possibility to provide new learnings or new understandings.... that's exciting!
However, the caveat in this is that it is our responsibility to put to use what we discover and learn. Simply because life presents lessons means nothing until the lessons are applied. Most of the time, life lessons on our journey are experiential learned. These kinds of learnings have immediate application. What is learned typically stays with you always and it underscores other learnings.
What also needs to be acknowledged is that there are negative lessons as well as positive ones. How we relate to the day typically depends on which of the two we emphasize and focus on. Both teach, both tell us more about ourselves and how we react. Both are indispensable for growth. The life lessons we learn on our journey are not experienced or maintained in isolation. They are building blocks - sometimes they complement each other, occasionally they seem to contradict. Together, though, they form how we interact with our world.
So what are the Life Lessons discovered on our journey? They are those understandings that form the core of our individual MO. They are part of the vast storehouse of information but are the significant influences on our lives. They also typically can be recalled in complete detail because they are our building blocks. Life lessons learned as we travel should also be shared with others on their road. Then listen to their lessons to increase your understanding.
...what have you learned lately?
Thursday, May 16, 2013
Alone and Loneliness
As you well know... they are not the same. Though similar, each has its own 'feel', its own emotions. You can be alone but not lonely just as you can be lonely and not be alone. However, we all experience these times, we all have to cope with them and we all have to exercise 'control' over them because each can swallow you up. The problem can come when you are lonely and alone. What do you do?
Controlling these times can be challenging because it seems that when we develop one defense against 'them' that they develop another way to express themselves. And no, I'm not giving 'them' the ability to think... though I realize that that sounds like I am giving them a more rational and reason based essence than they possess. And that is one of the cues to overcoming. We need to develop our own ways to deal with these feelings and more especially - thoughts.
We all need to realize the old expression that tells that we can be alone in a crowd. We can. But it's us, our behavior that keeps us from moving out and engaging another person. The communication doesn't need to be mindless dribble - that's a choice. We can choose to stay alone and apart in our thoughts and emotions or we can choose to be engaged. And then there are the positive effects from being alone. Being alone can be a blessing when you can either be quiet and think and contemplate or whatever activity you care to engage in.
Loneliness, I think, is more devastating than being alone. I've experienced loneliness but only fleetingly, thankfully. But I do recall those times and they can be physically painful. . When you are lonely, I think the physical expressions - aches, lethargy - as well as emotional ones tend to govern what we do and say. Let me ask a question... when you are feeling lonely, what are you thinking, feeling, focusing on? My guess would be ... yourself. And that's part of the dilemma. Loneliness is myopic and you need to broaden your vision. Again... a choice.
... you? lonely? alone?
Controlling these times can be challenging because it seems that when we develop one defense against 'them' that they develop another way to express themselves. And no, I'm not giving 'them' the ability to think... though I realize that that sounds like I am giving them a more rational and reason based essence than they possess. And that is one of the cues to overcoming. We need to develop our own ways to deal with these feelings and more especially - thoughts.
We all need to realize the old expression that tells that we can be alone in a crowd. We can. But it's us, our behavior that keeps us from moving out and engaging another person. The communication doesn't need to be mindless dribble - that's a choice. We can choose to stay alone and apart in our thoughts and emotions or we can choose to be engaged. And then there are the positive effects from being alone. Being alone can be a blessing when you can either be quiet and think and contemplate or whatever activity you care to engage in.
Loneliness, I think, is more devastating than being alone. I've experienced loneliness but only fleetingly, thankfully. But I do recall those times and they can be physically painful. . When you are lonely, I think the physical expressions - aches, lethargy - as well as emotional ones tend to govern what we do and say. Let me ask a question... when you are feeling lonely, what are you thinking, feeling, focusing on? My guess would be ... yourself. And that's part of the dilemma. Loneliness is myopic and you need to broaden your vision. Again... a choice.
... you? lonely? alone?
Monday, May 13, 2013
WHY is it we don't appreciate what we have when we have it!!?
Substitute 'I' for 'we' and this is the point. It seems that it is only when we don't have (it) any longer that we realize what we had and rue our lack of appreciation at the time. It is so true and, for me, extremely pervasive. And it infiltrates every part of our lives. If you are one of the rare people who is aware at the time and appreciate what you have when you have it - I do envy you. This 'loss' can be people, health, wealth, work, and any other untold 'its'. For me, my lack tends more often to be people who populated my life but there are also those accouterments like well being, funds, health, etc.
Savor the moment! That's what we need to do and improve our 'expertise' in this quality... at least I do. When you do savor the moment then you can look back/reminisce without regret. And yes, there are some of those memories too - love sharing and enjoying them. Since you can't undo what didn't happen, to focus on the mistakes of not savoring accomplishes little. Still, we do it. The 'why didn't I...' (fill in the blank) is futile because you won't be able to. Still, we do it. But saying that it's only human is the lamest reason I can think of... still... we do it.
What we need to do is to learn to be more intentional about the right now and be aware of what happens. For all of our 'living in the moment' philosophy, most of us don't. Oh, we do to a degree - but total involvement is rare. But our level of awareness can increase. 'How' we then choose to use it is a totally different issue. Whatever our decision, that needs to be our personal operational definition - how we choose to be aware, to appreciate what we have when we have it. Just don't complain.
There are so many people and 'things' that seem to only pass through our lives. We can't hold onto them, regardless of how much we try, we can only appreciate who and how they impact our lives. While it may be understandable to regret not having our senses tuned to appreciation, if we didn't, the point is... we didn't. Lamenting what we didn't do can be turned into appreciation what did happen at that time.
... but, what do you think?
Savor the moment! That's what we need to do and improve our 'expertise' in this quality... at least I do. When you do savor the moment then you can look back/reminisce without regret. And yes, there are some of those memories too - love sharing and enjoying them. Since you can't undo what didn't happen, to focus on the mistakes of not savoring accomplishes little. Still, we do it. The 'why didn't I...' (fill in the blank) is futile because you won't be able to. Still, we do it. But saying that it's only human is the lamest reason I can think of... still... we do it.
What we need to do is to learn to be more intentional about the right now and be aware of what happens. For all of our 'living in the moment' philosophy, most of us don't. Oh, we do to a degree - but total involvement is rare. But our level of awareness can increase. 'How' we then choose to use it is a totally different issue. Whatever our decision, that needs to be our personal operational definition - how we choose to be aware, to appreciate what we have when we have it. Just don't complain.
There are so many people and 'things' that seem to only pass through our lives. We can't hold onto them, regardless of how much we try, we can only appreciate who and how they impact our lives. While it may be understandable to regret not having our senses tuned to appreciation, if we didn't, the point is... we didn't. Lamenting what we didn't do can be turned into appreciation what did happen at that time.
... but, what do you think?
Saturday, May 11, 2013
Aid, assistance... help!
I'm not particularly good about asking for help. Never have been. And I don't say that with any sense of boasting or pride. It's just that I've never been good about doing so. It may be that I have this embarrassment about asking anyone (and that includes family) when I need anything. Maybe it is a kind of false pride. Regardless of the reason... I'm not good at this. When it comes to being helpful then this is a different story. I think/hope that I'm always ready to aid if I can. Again... not the issue. But it is rather obvious that I employ a double standard to myself when it comes to 'help'.
There are so many different kinds of needs and yes, wants. And so many different areas that may require another's assistance. Which automatically leads me to the conclusion that others have their problems too so why would I want to burden them with my needs? Or maybe I don't want to hear a, 'I'm sorry but I can't help.' from them. The thing about asking for help is that the ask-ee may not be able to. And then you are embarrassed about putting them in a difficult position. Now, how will you react to them the next time you see them? ... See how all this escalates!
Is there an answer? Good question. The simplest is - don't ask. But when you are in difficult straits, dire or not, you sometimes will need help. Now what? Most Christians will turn to certain scriptures for their answer such as: "Come boldly to the throne to ask for help in time of need." or "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want..." or pray that the "Lord will meet my need through His riches in Glory..." And while I do recommend you stand on those scriptures for your needs... unless you make your needs known, how can anyone help you?
Take another look at the word ask. Is that the problem? Is asking admitting you aren't able? Regardless of the need and whether or not you were the reason you are in this need... does the mere asking mar your perception of yourself? Kinda, doesn't it? And no matter how many times the comment that no man is an island pops into your head, you typically function as if it doesn't apply to you. However, let's say you DO accept help... will you react to them in the same way you did before they assisted you? That truly will become a character developing issue. There is not an easy answer to this dilemma.
... but, what do you do?
There are so many different kinds of needs and yes, wants. And so many different areas that may require another's assistance. Which automatically leads me to the conclusion that others have their problems too so why would I want to burden them with my needs? Or maybe I don't want to hear a, 'I'm sorry but I can't help.' from them. The thing about asking for help is that the ask-ee may not be able to. And then you are embarrassed about putting them in a difficult position. Now, how will you react to them the next time you see them? ... See how all this escalates!
Is there an answer? Good question. The simplest is - don't ask. But when you are in difficult straits, dire or not, you sometimes will need help. Now what? Most Christians will turn to certain scriptures for their answer such as: "Come boldly to the throne to ask for help in time of need." or "The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want..." or pray that the "Lord will meet my need through His riches in Glory..." And while I do recommend you stand on those scriptures for your needs... unless you make your needs known, how can anyone help you?
Take another look at the word ask. Is that the problem? Is asking admitting you aren't able? Regardless of the need and whether or not you were the reason you are in this need... does the mere asking mar your perception of yourself? Kinda, doesn't it? And no matter how many times the comment that no man is an island pops into your head, you typically function as if it doesn't apply to you. However, let's say you DO accept help... will you react to them in the same way you did before they assisted you? That truly will become a character developing issue. There is not an easy answer to this dilemma.
... but, what do you do?
Thursday, May 9, 2013
WE are our responsibility
was a comment I made in a previous post. And it struck me anew just how accurate that is. However, accuracy has nothing to do with personally accepting that point. How many people do you know that seem to just abrogate this? And even more frustrating... seem to get away with it. Yes? My only reply is a lame but true - that's not your concern. You are your concern. And not to put too fine a point on it, you haven't walked in their shoes so you really don't know their reality. Besides... how much value is there in judging someone?
This point is the companion to another truth that I repeat often - you are responsible for what you know. It is totally impossible to un-know. How you handle your knowing including what you 'do' with it is a character point. Intentionality is also part of this responsibility. And whether or not we 'like' this has nothing to do with this being OUR responsibility. Not acting on what you know can be done, but to what end? What do you accomplish by denying you know something? You know you know.
Are you the expert in someone else's life? Are you their conscience? Do you have the wisdom they need? It is undeniably easier to focus on the 'speck in your brother's eye than it is the plank that's in your own' (Matthew 7:3-4). Problem is that your brother may extract his speck but unless you do something about your own issue, you still have your plank. Another way to look at this is, if you were the one with the speck would you want someone else who had a plank remove your speck? Obviously not.
However... being responsible for ourselves can be both liberating as well as defining. As we learn and grow and interact with others, we have a marvelous opportunity. And while I have been focusing on we being our responsibility, that is not in isolation. Yes we do have responsibilities to and for others. But, we don't have the option of making their choices. They must do this for themselves as we must for ourselves. This does not limit our sharing the truth we know and have discovered and hearing theirs - but we can't impose or force. As we focus and act on our own responsibility we model what we are and believe.
... but, what do you believe?
This point is the companion to another truth that I repeat often - you are responsible for what you know. It is totally impossible to un-know. How you handle your knowing including what you 'do' with it is a character point. Intentionality is also part of this responsibility. And whether or not we 'like' this has nothing to do with this being OUR responsibility. Not acting on what you know can be done, but to what end? What do you accomplish by denying you know something? You know you know.
Are you the expert in someone else's life? Are you their conscience? Do you have the wisdom they need? It is undeniably easier to focus on the 'speck in your brother's eye than it is the plank that's in your own' (Matthew 7:3-4). Problem is that your brother may extract his speck but unless you do something about your own issue, you still have your plank. Another way to look at this is, if you were the one with the speck would you want someone else who had a plank remove your speck? Obviously not.
However... being responsible for ourselves can be both liberating as well as defining. As we learn and grow and interact with others, we have a marvelous opportunity. And while I have been focusing on we being our responsibility, that is not in isolation. Yes we do have responsibilities to and for others. But, we don't have the option of making their choices. They must do this for themselves as we must for ourselves. This does not limit our sharing the truth we know and have discovered and hearing theirs - but we can't impose or force. As we focus and act on our own responsibility we model what we are and believe.
... but, what do you believe?
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Change... it is a process
Without question, the most important understanding about 'change' is that it is a process. It is rarely, if ever, instantaneous. And yes, catastrophic events do occur causing change to be immediate, but most of the changes we experience come in the form of a process - which is on the continuum of slow to fast. You also have to realize that it is a 'going from' to a 'going to' so you have to have a clear understanding of what your 'from' is as well as what your 'to' is. Lastly, change is rarely completed since we humans do tend to hold on to an 'anchor' of known. Once we let go of our known then the new becomes a new anchor... till a change occurs again.
Change can be personal and traumatic, like the loss of a loved one or a job that you enjoyed. Change can also be a 'moving on', a next step, thus less jarring. But the issue of change is a given and it really is quite silly to fight it. It is far more satisfying when you can mold it more to your liking. An important question is can you see change coming? When it arrives is it something you've had time to prepare for... and did you? Denying and ignoring will never stem change from coming.
Let me illustrate my point with an example from nature. Outside my living and bedroom windows are trees that are very close to the building. As a result I can follow their progress from the spring first buds, to the bright green leaves that grow and then begin to darken as the summer progresses. Soon these leaves take on new colors of reds and oranges and dark browns as fall approaches and then they begin to drop and leave the limbs bare when the snow comes. Each of these changes can be observed or they can be only unthinkingly noticed. It depends on the person - how and what they see.
Change can also be age defined as in: the older we get the less open and accommodating we are to change while the younger the age the more we delight in change. I suspect that is only partially true. I think of change more as a mindset when it comes to embracing and/or adjusting to it. Since change is inevitable and since it is a process, we need to be proactive regarding changes in our lives in those areas in which we have some influence. This is not a manipulative basis to proactive as much as it is an adjustment basis. How we respond, what we do, how we go about doing what we do - all attitude issues which, by definition, speaks to our character.
... how do you relate to change?
Change can be personal and traumatic, like the loss of a loved one or a job that you enjoyed. Change can also be a 'moving on', a next step, thus less jarring. But the issue of change is a given and it really is quite silly to fight it. It is far more satisfying when you can mold it more to your liking. An important question is can you see change coming? When it arrives is it something you've had time to prepare for... and did you? Denying and ignoring will never stem change from coming.
Let me illustrate my point with an example from nature. Outside my living and bedroom windows are trees that are very close to the building. As a result I can follow their progress from the spring first buds, to the bright green leaves that grow and then begin to darken as the summer progresses. Soon these leaves take on new colors of reds and oranges and dark browns as fall approaches and then they begin to drop and leave the limbs bare when the snow comes. Each of these changes can be observed or they can be only unthinkingly noticed. It depends on the person - how and what they see.
Change can also be age defined as in: the older we get the less open and accommodating we are to change while the younger the age the more we delight in change. I suspect that is only partially true. I think of change more as a mindset when it comes to embracing and/or adjusting to it. Since change is inevitable and since it is a process, we need to be proactive regarding changes in our lives in those areas in which we have some influence. This is not a manipulative basis to proactive as much as it is an adjustment basis. How we respond, what we do, how we go about doing what we do - all attitude issues which, by definition, speaks to our character.
... how do you relate to change?
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Discoveries
Small or great doesn't matter, I love to make discoveries! They are always enlightening and never boring. They can be refinements but a discovery is terrific whether it is a warning regarding what you are doing or a new understanding! It can be an 'out of the box' thinking, it can be a different approach to what you are involved with. Regardless, discovery is by definition always new... even when it is a re-discovery. I've always been one that looked for options, alternatives and I think this mindset puts me in a position to be aware of new possibilities, of new discoveries.
Discoveries always provide different/new ways of considering whatever you are involved in. They can also help you consider those out of the box thinkings than may seem random and unrelated. Some are but not always. However, what I find absolutely delightful are the discoveries that find you! They do you know. These kinds of discoveries are somewhat serendipitous but always interesting and typically about something that you aren't thinking about.
When/if you are open to discoveries, they may impact what you're doing or how you go about doing what you're doing. Sometimes they lead you on a different path and sometimes they merely show you some of the things you may be missing because you are intent and a bit myopic. Never let these 'intrusions' into your established methods and ways be lightly dismissed but also don't let them automatically get you off the path you are on. Refine, yes. Cast off unthinkingly, never.
I tend to put 'discoveries' in the same category as 'adventures' - they shake up the status quo and either confirm or provide different ways of thinking and doing things. Unquestionably it is your attitude about these interruptions that determines their value... regardless of their value. Your experience and comfort with the 'different' typically either makes one dig in their heels or welcome them. And yes there are other complications such as: time lines for task completion, your position as team member or team leader, resources, energy, others' vested interests... and I could go on. The point should be that discoveries can be embraced or denied.
... but, what do you think?
Discoveries always provide different/new ways of considering whatever you are involved in. They can also help you consider those out of the box thinkings than may seem random and unrelated. Some are but not always. However, what I find absolutely delightful are the discoveries that find you! They do you know. These kinds of discoveries are somewhat serendipitous but always interesting and typically about something that you aren't thinking about.
When/if you are open to discoveries, they may impact what you're doing or how you go about doing what you're doing. Sometimes they lead you on a different path and sometimes they merely show you some of the things you may be missing because you are intent and a bit myopic. Never let these 'intrusions' into your established methods and ways be lightly dismissed but also don't let them automatically get you off the path you are on. Refine, yes. Cast off unthinkingly, never.
I tend to put 'discoveries' in the same category as 'adventures' - they shake up the status quo and either confirm or provide different ways of thinking and doing things. Unquestionably it is your attitude about these interruptions that determines their value... regardless of their value. Your experience and comfort with the 'different' typically either makes one dig in their heels or welcome them. And yes there are other complications such as: time lines for task completion, your position as team member or team leader, resources, energy, others' vested interests... and I could go on. The point should be that discoveries can be embraced or denied.
... but, what do you think?
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Off trails...
I must admit I get intrigued by trails that veer off from the main road. Many times I 'try' them out to see where they lead... at the same time I always keep the main road in sight so that if this new track isn't what I thought or want I can easily return. You can also make some what I call refinements from following an off trail. These can give you new perspectives and new methods of seeing and walking on your road. Off trails will always impact on your road whether or not you decide to investigate them.
Sometimes these 'off trails' are larks, sometimes they have extremely difficult terrain but sometimes they become a real jewel. After some minor scraped knees I've learned that when I find that the trail goes downhill I know that eventually there will be an uphill so I have a decision to make. Sometimes I only follow these trails for awhile to see if they add to what my main road is leading me toward. I always seem to be the richer for having taken the off trail.
I suspect the level of 'hurried-ness' impacts on taking off trails. A few years ago I gave up being hurried - whether by me, events, or others. If you rush into making a decision, too often you end up rueing it. But... is the reason you haven't tried the off trails... fear? Are you so captured by the road you are on that any deviation is a hindrance? Is it critical for you to be at a certain place by a certain time? What would be your 'obstacle' to taking an off trail?
A 'change in the scenery' (part of my definition of off trail) can be a positive thing. It can give you the opportunity of determining if where you are headed is where you want to go. Perhaps it can give you a different way of looking at the road you are on. It can tell you what is missing from your current direction. Or... it can confirm that where you are and what is happening is precisely what you want. And that is always a positive. Never be afraid of the different, the off trail... it can be most enlightening, not the least of which is about you and your character.
... but, what do you think?
Sometimes these 'off trails' are larks, sometimes they have extremely difficult terrain but sometimes they become a real jewel. After some minor scraped knees I've learned that when I find that the trail goes downhill I know that eventually there will be an uphill so I have a decision to make. Sometimes I only follow these trails for awhile to see if they add to what my main road is leading me toward. I always seem to be the richer for having taken the off trail.
I suspect the level of 'hurried-ness' impacts on taking off trails. A few years ago I gave up being hurried - whether by me, events, or others. If you rush into making a decision, too often you end up rueing it. But... is the reason you haven't tried the off trails... fear? Are you so captured by the road you are on that any deviation is a hindrance? Is it critical for you to be at a certain place by a certain time? What would be your 'obstacle' to taking an off trail?
A 'change in the scenery' (part of my definition of off trail) can be a positive thing. It can give you the opportunity of determining if where you are headed is where you want to go. Perhaps it can give you a different way of looking at the road you are on. It can tell you what is missing from your current direction. Or... it can confirm that where you are and what is happening is precisely what you want. And that is always a positive. Never be afraid of the different, the off trail... it can be most enlightening, not the least of which is about you and your character.
... but, what do you think?
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