YOUR life is precious. You do realize this, don't you? No, I mean really realize this, not just give lip service - that this is a 'given' in your thinking. There is a scripture (Psalms 139:14) that talks about you being wonderfully and fearfully made. 'Fear' in this sense is awe not frightened. If you are wonderfully and fearfully made and if this is real for you then you can not take this lightly.
One of the first understandings is the 'who' that is calling you wonderfully and fearfully (Isaiah 43:7). This is God speaking and He's talking about You! He has chosen to lavish all His grace and favor, His love and caring... on You. This is His choice, you can't earn it. He desires only the best for you and provides all that you need. Can you begin to fathom this?
I realize that comprehending this is mind boggling and the evidences all around us from other people tend to refute this - but remember the speaker. These are not idle words, His word in Isaiah (55:11) says that His word does not go forth without accomplishing what He sends it to do. And in this case, the God of the universe is talking to you about you. Throughout scripture God tells us over and over of His love and shows us by His actions. His requirements are few, the main one being that you believe on His Son Jesus.
So what do you do with this status? Accept it. Apply it and this means also extending this to other people. Rather than giving license to do whatever we want, it gives us a foundation upon which we can act. When you accept it means that you believe and believing is defined in terms of acting. Your life being precious means that you have purpose... you have meaning... you belong. We are His workmanship (Ephesians 2:10) created for good works, so we have assignments to complete. Remember God doesn't make defective people. In and through Him we are able.
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
Monday, April 30, 2012
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Self absorbed
Are you? The answer is - of course. Don't go all self righteous, we all, to some degree or other, are self absorbed. It's another of those 'givens'. It's not something to be ashamed of... unless it controls you. And, until you are able to acknowledge that you are self absorbed you won't be able to 'control' it rather than it controlling you. When you remember that mankind is a creation that experiences and learns based on application, then it's not surprising. We are the subject, the center by which we understand and relate to the world around us.
No value judgment but do you know the definition of self absorbed? Webster says: "...absorbed in one's own thoughts, activities, or interests". Personally I dislike any definition that uses itself as the definition. Absorb, according to Webster has many definitions but the closest to this conversation is: to engage or engross wholly. It's the 'wholly' that's the problem. It's impossible for us to not use ourselves as the frame of reference in our learning and applying the learning. The problem is if we: 1- expect others to adhere to our understanding and 2- don't look for alternative understandings.
Wholly really doesn't need to mean 'only'. Problems arise, however, when wholly does means only. Our responsibility is to be honest with ourselves and determine on the scale - where our level of self absorption is. We have our frame of reference based on our experiences and that's understandable, again - the issues arise when we expect others to have the same one. While it may not be logical to make the assumption, we still do and we always are surprised.
The other issue is our cement approach to life and life's issues. Once we have arrived at a 'philosophy' that makes sense we need to have a refining mindset. There are very few things that truly are in cement. As we interact with our world and the people who populate it we can be involved in a great adventure of discovery or we can attempt to dig our heels in and be buffeted by all that comes into contact with us. Exactly 'how' are you self absorbed?
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
No value judgment but do you know the definition of self absorbed? Webster says: "...absorbed in one's own thoughts, activities, or interests". Personally I dislike any definition that uses itself as the definition. Absorb, according to Webster has many definitions but the closest to this conversation is: to engage or engross wholly. It's the 'wholly' that's the problem. It's impossible for us to not use ourselves as the frame of reference in our learning and applying the learning. The problem is if we: 1- expect others to adhere to our understanding and 2- don't look for alternative understandings.
Wholly really doesn't need to mean 'only'. Problems arise, however, when wholly does means only. Our responsibility is to be honest with ourselves and determine on the scale - where our level of self absorption is. We have our frame of reference based on our experiences and that's understandable, again - the issues arise when we expect others to have the same one. While it may not be logical to make the assumption, we still do and we always are surprised.
The other issue is our cement approach to life and life's issues. Once we have arrived at a 'philosophy' that makes sense we need to have a refining mindset. There are very few things that truly are in cement. As we interact with our world and the people who populate it we can be involved in a great adventure of discovery or we can attempt to dig our heels in and be buffeted by all that comes into contact with us. Exactly 'how' are you self absorbed?
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Do you listen?
No, I mean Listen - with a capital 'L' not the small 'l'. I think listening is an acquired art and it is an art to be learned. To listen you must take the time to learn the components of listening. This requires watching as much as listening. Hearing the words that are used and the choices made in word usage. However, it primarily means being more interested in the speaker than in yourself. Everyone has a story to tell, an opinion to share, a question to ask - but do you listen?
I've always believed that most people are more interested in framing a response to what's being said before the speaker finishes. If you believe I'm being too harsh then I ask you - how many times do you hear the 'listener' respond nearly immediately to what the speaker said? 'Immediately' is the point. How often is there a pause as the listener contemplates what was said before responding? And equally important, how often does the response acknowledge the entire message the speaker presented rather than only a part of the message?
Whether or not you realize it, listening is one of the greatest gifts you can give another person. It's critical, in listening, to never assume. Never assume the speaker actually knows what they are saying. Never assume the words used hold the same definitions as what you may think. And never take offense at what's said - it may not be meant in the way you think.
Listening's greatest tool is asking questions. Actually the point in all this is to ask questions, ask the speaker to define their words. Questions accomplishes two things: one, it lets the speaker know that you actually are listening to what they are saying and two, it helps them to refine their thinking and in some cases, rethink their thinking. If you are saying, 'yes, yes, yes' I know all that... then maybe the question should be - what do you hear? Do you hear what's being said? What you think? Or... perhaps, your hearing allows you to interact with the speaking.
... but what do you think? what do you believe?
I've always believed that most people are more interested in framing a response to what's being said before the speaker finishes. If you believe I'm being too harsh then I ask you - how many times do you hear the 'listener' respond nearly immediately to what the speaker said? 'Immediately' is the point. How often is there a pause as the listener contemplates what was said before responding? And equally important, how often does the response acknowledge the entire message the speaker presented rather than only a part of the message?
Whether or not you realize it, listening is one of the greatest gifts you can give another person. It's critical, in listening, to never assume. Never assume the speaker actually knows what they are saying. Never assume the words used hold the same definitions as what you may think. And never take offense at what's said - it may not be meant in the way you think.
Listening's greatest tool is asking questions. Actually the point in all this is to ask questions, ask the speaker to define their words. Questions accomplishes two things: one, it lets the speaker know that you actually are listening to what they are saying and two, it helps them to refine their thinking and in some cases, rethink their thinking. If you are saying, 'yes, yes, yes' I know all that... then maybe the question should be - what do you hear? Do you hear what's being said? What you think? Or... perhaps, your hearing allows you to interact with the speaking.
... but what do you think? what do you believe?
Sunday, April 22, 2012
Mess up
I sometimes, in my less than rational moments, wonder if mankind is predestined to mess up. We seem to do it with such regularity. However, the questions that emanate are really addressing the 'now what': what do you do when you are the source or create a mess? Do you point fingers? Try to subtly disappear? Take responsibility? What is your first thought and 'action'? Excuse?Apologize? Explain? Look for a scapegoat? The answers to these questions do point to your character and it definitely speaks to your maturity. Since we all are subject to making these blunders, it is important to know our first reaction. I know I would like to be seen as a mature person but there are moments when I only exasperate the situation.
The worse 'mess up' is when it is people based. And most of the problem(s) typically stem from your attempts at correction - that's why it is so important to know and understand what you do to 'correct'. Obviously the 'logical' thing is to do a quick assessment as to what it was you did and then the implications that ensued. Hurt feelings or mistakes are one thing - trust is another. When you break trust with another person, once broken it rarely is reestablished. Regardless, there are certain actions that are mandatory such as apologizing. Sometimes that's the only thing you can do... or need to do.
It's never easy to accept the fact and responsibility that what happened was due to your fault - what you did or did not do. But it happens. The 'cause' of the fault isn't in question at this moment, it's the fact that you did it. While it is important to correct/salvage the current situation I think we lose sight of our own feelings and actions too often. We need to simultaneously and intentionally look to what we do because that too will speak to 'how' we respond to correcting or salvaging. Logic says that we will repeat previous reactions without reasoning, but if they are self defeating, this will delay correcting and growing.
We waste considerably less time and effort if we acknowledge our fault and move on to redeem the situation. But if saving face is the primary motivator then we typically end up losing the trust of those we are working with through our delaying tactics. How and what we do impacts on setting the 'mores' of the environment regardless of our place and function. Own up... move on...
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
The worse 'mess up' is when it is people based. And most of the problem(s) typically stem from your attempts at correction - that's why it is so important to know and understand what you do to 'correct'. Obviously the 'logical' thing is to do a quick assessment as to what it was you did and then the implications that ensued. Hurt feelings or mistakes are one thing - trust is another. When you break trust with another person, once broken it rarely is reestablished. Regardless, there are certain actions that are mandatory such as apologizing. Sometimes that's the only thing you can do... or need to do.
It's never easy to accept the fact and responsibility that what happened was due to your fault - what you did or did not do. But it happens. The 'cause' of the fault isn't in question at this moment, it's the fact that you did it. While it is important to correct/salvage the current situation I think we lose sight of our own feelings and actions too often. We need to simultaneously and intentionally look to what we do because that too will speak to 'how' we respond to correcting or salvaging. Logic says that we will repeat previous reactions without reasoning, but if they are self defeating, this will delay correcting and growing.
We waste considerably less time and effort if we acknowledge our fault and move on to redeem the situation. But if saving face is the primary motivator then we typically end up losing the trust of those we are working with through our delaying tactics. How and what we do impacts on setting the 'mores' of the environment regardless of our place and function. Own up... move on...
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Always: ??? or !!!
Do you have many 'always' in your life? Do you think about your always's? Personally, I find that the older I get the fewer always's I have, but those I do have are strongly embedded in who I am. I don't take them out occasionally and dust them off, they are operational in my life - often daily. But what about your always's? Do they define you? 'How' do they define you?
Always, for me, has proved to be a springboard in many situations. They don't confine me rather they are a foundation on which to experiment, refine and in some cases toss out and discover a new one. At this point a definition would aid in understanding. What I'm talking about when I say 'always' is a set pattern of behaving and thinking that emerges 'automatically'. Always is not necessarily a 'fall back' position as much as it is so ingrained that it operates almost without thought. To me, anything that operates 'almost without thought' can be dangerous though. You have to be confident in your always's but you have to have your mind engaged as well.
Always is never intrinsically 'bad' but it is always loaded with a lot of emotion. The problem stems from the unthinking part. If your 'always' is only emotion without any thought then you are subject to challenge continually without substance. Always is a 'founding' principle in your definition of who you are. If it isn't... it isn't always. Always also touches every part of your life, nothing is excluded. And to repeat myself - always isn't a 'bad'. The question should be:
what has moved from always into a given?
There should never be anything excluded from your refinement on always. Except... I would say that a belief in Jesus as Lord would be the one aspect that isn't included - at least it is for me. Faith in Jesus has evolved into the 'given' category which is beyond always. Do you have certain exclusions? Are there areas that you are certain, that can stand the test of challenge without threat? If you do then these may have moved into your set of givens.
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
Always, for me, has proved to be a springboard in many situations. They don't confine me rather they are a foundation on which to experiment, refine and in some cases toss out and discover a new one. At this point a definition would aid in understanding. What I'm talking about when I say 'always' is a set pattern of behaving and thinking that emerges 'automatically'. Always is not necessarily a 'fall back' position as much as it is so ingrained that it operates almost without thought. To me, anything that operates 'almost without thought' can be dangerous though. You have to be confident in your always's but you have to have your mind engaged as well.
Always is never intrinsically 'bad' but it is always loaded with a lot of emotion. The problem stems from the unthinking part. If your 'always' is only emotion without any thought then you are subject to challenge continually without substance. Always is a 'founding' principle in your definition of who you are. If it isn't... it isn't always. Always also touches every part of your life, nothing is excluded. And to repeat myself - always isn't a 'bad'. The question should be:
what has moved from always into a given?
There should never be anything excluded from your refinement on always. Except... I would say that a belief in Jesus as Lord would be the one aspect that isn't included - at least it is for me. Faith in Jesus has evolved into the 'given' category which is beyond always. Do you have certain exclusions? Are there areas that you are certain, that can stand the test of challenge without threat? If you do then these may have moved into your set of givens.
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Will I EVER Grow Up?!
You'd think by now that I would have grown up! I am old enough - chronologically. But every day I do or say something that totally disproves this status. It's really quite frustrating when I consider, at the end of the day, my day and how I've done. However, since I believe in forgiveness and redemption, this 'analysis' provides the springboard to try again. I never allow the error of the day to whip myself but I also try not to repeat previous less than stellar behavior. In this respect, each tomorrow is an opportunity to improve (grow).
I suspect a definition would be useful at this moment. It's possible I don't
define the words in the same manner that many would define as 'grown up' - it really has absolutely nothing to do with 'acting one's age'. Never sure what that meant except as an attempt to control or impose some set of criterion that has nothing to do with age and everything to do with acting. My definition focuses on fulfillment and fruitfulness. These aren't necessarily completely attained, but you are moving in the direction toward that goal. To me that would be grown up. Perspective.
Part of what I'm talking about is not having regret over what I did (or didn't do) or said (or didn't say) - which defines my 'growing up'. Then again... you may be all grown up and this isn't an issue for you. But... exactly 'how' are you defining the words? Regardless of others' opinions, what will define 'grow up' in your world? Whether or not this is a question for you, you do realize that you react to others based on your definition - articulated or not.
There is a saving grace in this... I never let today's errors impact on today's and tomorrow's possibilities and opportunities. They become reminders to not repeat self defeating behaviors but they don't control. Past mistakes should never control, should never tell us who we are, should never make us hesitate. Just like most of the other significant aspects in our lives, growing up is a process - a journey. Enjoy it.
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
I suspect a definition would be useful at this moment. It's possible I don't
define the words in the same manner that many would define as 'grown up' - it really has absolutely nothing to do with 'acting one's age'. Never sure what that meant except as an attempt to control or impose some set of criterion that has nothing to do with age and everything to do with acting. My definition focuses on fulfillment and fruitfulness. These aren't necessarily completely attained, but you are moving in the direction toward that goal. To me that would be grown up. Perspective.
Part of what I'm talking about is not having regret over what I did (or didn't do) or said (or didn't say) - which defines my 'growing up'. Then again... you may be all grown up and this isn't an issue for you. But... exactly 'how' are you defining the words? Regardless of others' opinions, what will define 'grow up' in your world? Whether or not this is a question for you, you do realize that you react to others based on your definition - articulated or not.
There is a saving grace in this... I never let today's errors impact on today's and tomorrow's possibilities and opportunities. They become reminders to not repeat self defeating behaviors but they don't control. Past mistakes should never control, should never tell us who we are, should never make us hesitate. Just like most of the other significant aspects in our lives, growing up is a process - a journey. Enjoy it.
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
Wednesday, April 11, 2012
How do You 'hear' what's written???
How are your ears? This is not a frivolous question... how do you hear? This is as much a 'how' as it is a 'what' question. But when it comes to the written word, your 'how' takes on even greater importance. First you need to recognize that we all do hear the written word as much as the spoken word. We hear the (written) words spoken in our minds, but this is as audible as any words that are actually spoken out loud.
Typically what happens is that we listen based on our experience with the writer, which may or may not have anything to do with the writer's intended 'communication'. We speak and listen from our own frame of reference and rarely give much thought to the fact that ours may not be the other person's. It is understandable but we also need to keep a mindset that the frame of reference is a significant impact. Then you add any personal involvement to the mix and sometimes it's a wonder that we are on the same page of the same 'book'.
There's a scripture, in both the New and Old Testaments, that has always captured me - Matthew 13:14 "Hearing you will hear and shall not understand..." How often that really marks the communication (or lack). When you add the written and not spoken word, the 'opportunity' for misunderstanding is enormous. For communication to occur you really have to be engaged and involved... but mostly you have to know you are speaking the same language. This will require, often, asking the other person to define their words.
Whether reading or listening, how and what you hear is critical for communication - and for understanding. Mark 4:24 cautions us that we need to take heed what we hear. It's 'our' responsibility. We choose how we hear, we choose what we hear - we choose to make certain we understand - regardless of whether or not we agree. Agreement, or not, can only occur after there is communication.
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
Typically what happens is that we listen based on our experience with the writer, which may or may not have anything to do with the writer's intended 'communication'. We speak and listen from our own frame of reference and rarely give much thought to the fact that ours may not be the other person's. It is understandable but we also need to keep a mindset that the frame of reference is a significant impact. Then you add any personal involvement to the mix and sometimes it's a wonder that we are on the same page of the same 'book'.
There's a scripture, in both the New and Old Testaments, that has always captured me - Matthew 13:14 "Hearing you will hear and shall not understand..." How often that really marks the communication (or lack). When you add the written and not spoken word, the 'opportunity' for misunderstanding is enormous. For communication to occur you really have to be engaged and involved... but mostly you have to know you are speaking the same language. This will require, often, asking the other person to define their words.
Whether reading or listening, how and what you hear is critical for communication - and for understanding. Mark 4:24 cautions us that we need to take heed what we hear. It's 'our' responsibility. We choose how we hear, we choose what we hear - we choose to make certain we understand - regardless of whether or not we agree. Agreement, or not, can only occur after there is communication.
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
Sunday, April 8, 2012
The search for meaning...
I would argue that we all search for meaning in our lives and I don't believe I'd get an argument. How we define 'meaning' would undoubtedly vary, but the actual searching wouldn't. We all want our lives to mean 'something', count for 'something'. For me... it is impossible to live without meaning. Why would I want to continue if there was no purpose to life. Yes, we can all exist... for a while, but I would argue we couldn't handle meaninglessness for long.
For me too, not just any old meaning will do. My meaning has to have purpose, has to have... meaning. Reality is that we each define 'meaningful' differently. What may be meaningful to me may be a yawn for someone else. And vice versa. The important consideration is that each person knows what provides meaning for them. Meaning really is the motivation - the purpose, reason, excitement, challenge, goal for everyone. Without it why would you continue to do what you do? Where's the pleasure? So... what comprises your definition?
Let me illustrate by sharing what provides meaning for me. I always like to hope that my actions, behavior, activities have a spiritual implication. I may still be involved with the 'activity' but if there are no spiritual impacts then I'm not as engaged. It's when this particular definition of 'meaning' for me is included that I am totally involved. Without a spiritual aspect to provide meaning I typically look for something else. I realize that sounds terribly self righteous, but I don't mean this - I just want what I'm doing to have long lasting affects.
Meaning is the foundation for what we do and why and is part of the definition of who we are. Without it I think what we do is stale at best. What we don't always understand and appreciate is that many times it isn't the grandiose activities that make the difference, it's the small, kind acts extended to another without the thought of being observed or honored. Meaningful acts are not meant to be quid pro quo.
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
For me too, not just any old meaning will do. My meaning has to have purpose, has to have... meaning. Reality is that we each define 'meaningful' differently. What may be meaningful to me may be a yawn for someone else. And vice versa. The important consideration is that each person knows what provides meaning for them. Meaning really is the motivation - the purpose, reason, excitement, challenge, goal for everyone. Without it why would you continue to do what you do? Where's the pleasure? So... what comprises your definition?
Let me illustrate by sharing what provides meaning for me. I always like to hope that my actions, behavior, activities have a spiritual implication. I may still be involved with the 'activity' but if there are no spiritual impacts then I'm not as engaged. It's when this particular definition of 'meaning' for me is included that I am totally involved. Without a spiritual aspect to provide meaning I typically look for something else. I realize that sounds terribly self righteous, but I don't mean this - I just want what I'm doing to have long lasting affects.
Meaning is the foundation for what we do and why and is part of the definition of who we are. Without it I think what we do is stale at best. What we don't always understand and appreciate is that many times it isn't the grandiose activities that make the difference, it's the small, kind acts extended to another without the thought of being observed or honored. Meaningful acts are not meant to be quid pro quo.
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
Saturday, April 7, 2012
Appreciation: now... later???
Do you appreciate what/who you have when you have it/them? Or are you, like most of us, the type that really only appreciates after the fact? Is it your memories that remind you what was and colors your now, or do you let your memories sag into... if only I'd... or what if I'd... which verges on regret. I do wish I was the kind of person that realized what I had when I had it rather than realizing only later. But I determine what I do with those memories - appreciate or regret.
The problem is regret. If you regret what was then you'll end up, later, regretting you didn't fully appreciate now. A vicious cycle. I suspect we all experience moments like that but the point is not languishing in your then. You won't be able to get 'it' back so use this understanding and not lose now. Every moment you are creating new memories so are you happy with your now? If not, what are you willing to do to change this? What can you do?
So often we get caught up in a feeling that we have no control over our now, that all we can do is 'grin and bear it'. Not! You always have control, though it may not seem evident. What areas of your life do you have control over? Don't focus on those areas that you don't have any power over - control what you can. Be the master of all you survey - you can. You are far more than a helpless victim.
What kind of memory do you want to create? Right now. Right where you are. You are the actor in your life - are you the leading actor? You should be. If you aren't it will be difficult to appreciate your now. Memories can be appreciated without controlling your what if's. Granted it's a great deal more gratifying to appreciate now and later.
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
The problem is regret. If you regret what was then you'll end up, later, regretting you didn't fully appreciate now. A vicious cycle. I suspect we all experience moments like that but the point is not languishing in your then. You won't be able to get 'it' back so use this understanding and not lose now. Every moment you are creating new memories so are you happy with your now? If not, what are you willing to do to change this? What can you do?
So often we get caught up in a feeling that we have no control over our now, that all we can do is 'grin and bear it'. Not! You always have control, though it may not seem evident. What areas of your life do you have control over? Don't focus on those areas that you don't have any power over - control what you can. Be the master of all you survey - you can. You are far more than a helpless victim.
What kind of memory do you want to create? Right now. Right where you are. You are the actor in your life - are you the leading actor? You should be. If you aren't it will be difficult to appreciate your now. Memories can be appreciated without controlling your what if's. Granted it's a great deal more gratifying to appreciate now and later.
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
It's the little things...
Our days really aren't typically made up of/inhabited by BIG THINGS. But in staying alert for them, do we miss the little things? Do we not see what's directly in front of us, a kind of miss seeing the forest for the trees kind of thing? Sometimes I think we miss seeing the trees because of the forest... Regardless, the need to see and appreciate the little things that happen every day is as critical to good mental health as is being involved in the Big Things.
Let me ask the same question in a different way... what inspires your day? What excites or challenges or brings joy to the average, typical day? Do you see? No one can see exactly what you see even when you are looking at precisely the same thing(s). The important aspect is the mutual sharing of what is seen. I remember, when I was a kid, I enjoyed looking at clouds with my friends and seeing nature in them - we'd see and point out various animals or objects and it was always a delight. What delights your days now?
If every day is repetitive, you are quickly going to be bored or restless or both. This may be a poor example but I remember, again when I was a kid, of making the decision to look for something significant in every sermon I heard. The Pastor, a really nice person, was terrible in his sermonizing. But with this mindset I always was able to find some nugget. Sometimes, when our days seem repetitive, we need to have the mindset of discovering a nugget.
There's a scripture that talks about not despising the times of small beginnings that also applies here. We don't need every day to be filled with huge 'things'. But we do need to be able to see what is in the day and to enjoy the little things. This often means having the mindset of discovery. I can guarantee you that if you do see the little things... you'll never miss the Big Things.
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
Let me ask the same question in a different way... what inspires your day? What excites or challenges or brings joy to the average, typical day? Do you see? No one can see exactly what you see even when you are looking at precisely the same thing(s). The important aspect is the mutual sharing of what is seen. I remember, when I was a kid, I enjoyed looking at clouds with my friends and seeing nature in them - we'd see and point out various animals or objects and it was always a delight. What delights your days now?
If every day is repetitive, you are quickly going to be bored or restless or both. This may be a poor example but I remember, again when I was a kid, of making the decision to look for something significant in every sermon I heard. The Pastor, a really nice person, was terrible in his sermonizing. But with this mindset I always was able to find some nugget. Sometimes, when our days seem repetitive, we need to have the mindset of discovering a nugget.
There's a scripture that talks about not despising the times of small beginnings that also applies here. We don't need every day to be filled with huge 'things'. But we do need to be able to see what is in the day and to enjoy the little things. This often means having the mindset of discovery. I can guarantee you that if you do see the little things... you'll never miss the Big Things.
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Finding yourself
Finding yourself is not a singular, static activity - it's more of a journey. When you realize that you really are more than the sum of your 'parts', that this is an ongoing activity, once started, will never end. There are two other conditions that must be accepted; one is that you have to be willing to be totally honest with yourself - much easier to say then to do. The other condition is that there are no areas, subjects that are closed to exploration and discovery. However, if you are willing to engage in this activity you may not always like what you find, but you will never be bored.
So what's involved in the process of finding yourself? I do not consider myself an expert except as it relates to myself. What I've discovered, in terms of process, is to not predetermine what is discovered or when or how but to be open to discover every day - actually to make it a point to discover every day. The more you do this the more you will see the relationships between the various 'parts' of you. My point is to never predetermine what the relationships will be and to be open to contradictions.
There will be times that you will think that you are nothing more than a mass of contradictions - and, to a degree, I suspect you are - we all are. It's interesting to see how these apparent contradictions coexist and complement each other. Simply stated, we are an oxymoron! And the quicker we make a kind of neutral 'peace' with these dispirit parts the more we can integrate everything. I believe (hope) that the more we do allow apparent contradictions to coexist in ourselves the more we can be open to accepting this in other people.
The upside to all this discovery is the ability to choose and to change. Change has to be determined on the basis of knowing, at least cogent, logical change. If we define change as improve, grow, mature then this is not done in a vacuum or in isolation. Fact is that you change daily in some fashion - if, when you engage in this journey of finding yourself you do this on a conscious level and can make quicker use of what you discover. It's the difference between seeing and walking in the world... blind.
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
So what's involved in the process of finding yourself? I do not consider myself an expert except as it relates to myself. What I've discovered, in terms of process, is to not predetermine what is discovered or when or how but to be open to discover every day - actually to make it a point to discover every day. The more you do this the more you will see the relationships between the various 'parts' of you. My point is to never predetermine what the relationships will be and to be open to contradictions.
There will be times that you will think that you are nothing more than a mass of contradictions - and, to a degree, I suspect you are - we all are. It's interesting to see how these apparent contradictions coexist and complement each other. Simply stated, we are an oxymoron! And the quicker we make a kind of neutral 'peace' with these dispirit parts the more we can integrate everything. I believe (hope) that the more we do allow apparent contradictions to coexist in ourselves the more we can be open to accepting this in other people.
The upside to all this discovery is the ability to choose and to change. Change has to be determined on the basis of knowing, at least cogent, logical change. If we define change as improve, grow, mature then this is not done in a vacuum or in isolation. Fact is that you change daily in some fashion - if, when you engage in this journey of finding yourself you do this on a conscious level and can make quicker use of what you discover. It's the difference between seeing and walking in the world... blind.
...but, what do you think? what do you believe?
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