Money

  So tell me... are you in favor of it or against it? I know, that was facetious. But how do you stand on the issue of money. Because of the universal attributed value given, we all are subject to it. Either we have some, a bit more, a whole lot more, not enough, or somewhere on the continuum of none to obscenely wealthy. I suspect most people are on the 'I wish I had more' position on the continuum. Sometimes we even know what we'd do with more... but... are we in need territory or want? And how do we define our own financial status - more specifically, how much weight to we place on the issue of money and its impact on our well-being?

  Money is a controller. And it does effect our sense of who we are, our status. This is especially true when we don't have any. I have this strange affliction that when I don't have discretionary funds I find all sorts of things to purchase. But... when I do have it, I just tuck it away for future need. Do we ever control money? I know we all are aware of the scripture that talks about the love of money being the root of all evil. It is. Point being that it is the 'of' that controls, not the money. Our perspective on money and how we steward it is a very real issue.

  When I was growing up I received a weekly allowance. Dad would dole out the allowance on Friday night and we were expected to make certain it lasted till the next Friday. But there was a caveat on the allowance. We had to tithe a tenth for church and a tenth for savings, but that left four fifths available for whatever we wanted. Personally I tended to be a saver so I rarely spent all of my four fifths but saved it for something later that might cost more than what I had available. After a certain age, we also spent our money on gifts for others, like at Christmas, unless it was a big gift and then it became a shared gift giving. This training really has always guided me... even when I didn't follow it scrupulously.

  I find that I've always enjoyed the "Hello Dolly" comment about money - that it was like manure waiting to be spread around to help things grow (paraphrased). I'm a saver... not a hoarder. I truly enjoyed it when I did have funds to gift someone, typically without their realizing or expecting it. I'm not setting myself up as a paragon of virtue and unabashedly altruistic - it just was my standard. Like so many issues in life, it's all about attitude - ours. How we view and act on the money we have - how we steward it is the real issue.

how 'bout you?

Who's in charge...

  You do realize that you are on a variety of 'roads'? You are. Obviously there is the physical road which takes up most of our thought life. But underscoring and sometimes lurking in the background is the intellectual road, psychological road, spiritual road, etc. Splitting hairs? No, I really don't think so. One of our ongoing moment-by-moment tasks is integrating all these roads into a harmonious whole. But sometimes we seem to feel that we are at war in ourselves... yes? What do you do? How do you unite these 'parts' of you? Who's in charge, the final authority? Perhaps you would argue that my delineations are not roads but 'self's' - doesn't diminish the determination of the leader. Bear with me...

  If you aren't on an intellectual road then you've stopped learning. Have you? Are you no longer making discoveries you didn't know about previously? Or not becoming more adept at your job responsibilities which may also include new learnings? Look back for a moment... you've obviously come a long way from the time when you were age 6 or 7 and learning 2+2=4 and how to spell c-a-t. But since you graduated from college or the equivalent, how much have you focused on continued learning?

  Consciously or not, learning is with us throughout our lives. Look at your laptops, cell phones, TVs and all the other technological advances. You had to learn how to use them... intellectual. But there are all the other intellectual learnings - philosophy, history, art, music, etc. That only scratches the surface of your intellectual road. There are also the other kinds of learnings that you've made - how to relate to others, how to develop your own philosophy, how to integrate these learnings with the other parts, the other roads that comprise you. Is your intellectual road your decision maker, the one in charge?

  And what about your emotional road? You've walked on this road as well. I remember when I was a child I had a flash temper (redheads do... at least that's our excuse) and it would spill out rashly. Until one day my mother sat me down and shared that when I lost my temper I also lost the argument. Personally, I wasn't having any of that! Winning the argument was far more important so I began to consciously tame my temper. Sometimes successfully, sometimes not BUT I never forgot Mom's lesson. There are other emotions we've discovered in ourselves that we've either tamed or enhanced. But we've also learned which emotions cause us more grief than if we didn't express them and learned how to express our emotions without causing others discomfort. Is your emotional road your decision maker, the one in charge?

  Then there is your social road. Never discount the impact and importance of this element. Friends play a huge role in all aspects of our choices. However, I suspect your friends today are not the ones you had when you were in grade school. Do you even remember those little buddies? Was there a lot of joy at that time or did you feel like you never really belonged anywhere? Were you bullied? Those beginning relationships really molded you but are you still holding onto those ties and feelings? When you look at those who populate your world now... where did they come from? work? relatives? church? And have you moved on from this influence or do you still carry around these social interactions? Is your social road your decision maker, the one in charge?

 I obviously have a preference as to 'who's in charge' - I believe it should always be your spiritual road. It would be my argument that this is the truest and most accurate way of knowing you are on the (your) 'right' road. Your spiritual road tells you who you are on a level unmatched by any other road. Whether you are a born again believer or an agnostic, this road influences more of your important choices than any other.

  My 'Who's in charge' is Jesus. He is the reason for continuing on the road I'm on and He is my constant companion. This has become a terrific adventure and yes, there have been storms on this road but I know where my destination is. Where I'm headed is worth all of my now's and tomorrow's. And I do try to make my decision and choices based on Who I'm with and where I'm going. It's exciting. It's fun. And I grow ... intellectually, emotionally, in my relationships, in my work. Seems like that is a great place to be.

  So who's in charge of your life? Do you let your emotions sway the day? Maybe it's your intellectual life that you believe should be the unifying and guiding force. Perhaps it's your friends or family. Your work? If you can say that regardless of what you are experiencing right now... you are completely fulfilled and at peace... then I suspect you chose the spiritual road. This can be chosen at any point in your life. You have already by chosen by the Lord. He really is the only way. You will discover a life so full when you decide to choose Him. I said 'full' not easy or simple. And your joy will be overflowing - a terrific choice for your 'Who's in charge'...

... you?

Survival v. Meaning

  In your world, right now ... is survival trumping meaning? I do understand and it is a painful place to find oneself. But, for me, without meaning survival is too numbing, it simply is not on. That's not a judging comment but it is a judgment for me comment. Bottom line always is that you have to do what you need to do... just make certain that you need to. That last comment is based on my own experience that sometimes we think we are in a survival situation whether or not we know how we got there. But the reality is that we aren't there, at least yet. 

  What is your definition of survival? The obvious ones of basic necessities however have a totally different consideration than what I'm discussing - that would be a different focus. This 'form' of survival is not the life or death struggle but it feels as critical as basic need survival. Specifically, what is happening in your world that causes you to believe you are in a survival mode? More important - what part(s) of your life are in survival: job, personal interactions, spiritual walk, etc. Any one of those and others can be in a survival mode issue and not others, thus identifying what is your survival issue is critical. Step 2 is what do you want to do and what can you do about your 'condition'?

  So what and where do you see you are in a survival situation and can't consider any other definition of your plight? Have you stopped long enough to understand what is going on and how it affects you? Or are you simply reacting? And again, that isn't criticism it's identification. Once we begin to sense a survival condition we react - it's natural and it's probably the worst thing we can do. Understanding should be, though rarely is, our focus. We really can't take steps to effectively meet the threat of survival without understanding what is happening. Then we can consider what we want and can do.

  However, if you aren't in a survival condition then I highly recommend you discover and enhance your opportunity for meaning. Having meaning in your life is really where 'Life' can occur. And this is always individually defined. Meaning is the spice, the flavor. Meaning is where creativity lives. You can find fulfillment in meaning. And you know immediately when you are not in this state. If what I've said seems mildly esoteric, that's okay because now you have a blank canvas on which to determine your 'meaning'.
   
... but, what do you think?

The path not wanted...

  We all have paths off our main road that we have to take but that we may not want to. However, unscheduled 'detours' happen. These 'detours' may lead us over difficult terrain or it may add miles and time to the trip. But they can be 'positive' by shaking us out of our lethargy. Detours can lead in new ways but what do you do when it takes you far from your original path or becomes a path you  really do not want to pursue. We know it is important or impossible to avoid traveling on that detour, even when we're not certain why... and hopefully it is of short duration. These off paths often teach us the hard lessons we need to learn. And occasionally they create surprises we didn't know existed.

  What happens though when the path really, really isn't wanted? How do we handle those times? Yes, it is a character point and it is an obvious one as it impacts on the immediate. Whatever our attitude, the path not wanted has to be taken. What is our behavior? Grumbling? Kicking the nearest small stone? Or do we look at this as an opportunity for new discoveries? Obviously I would lobby to choose the last option. Typically my approach is to make the best of what is happening... especially when I can't do anything about it.

  Obviously the first thing we need to do when we find ourselves confronted with a path we did not want, did not choose but had to go on is to really take the time to look at and consider this different path. Do we have all the resources we need to continue on this path? Is there an option of turning around and retracing our steps or will we be confronted with the same 'detour' at a different time? What can we learn from this path? How can we make the best of a less than perfect path?

  Those are only some of the obvious questions but they are important ones as we begin our journey on this new, unwanted path. Personally I'm a silver lining type (which typically drives others crazy) so I begin to look at the possibilities and opportunities that I now have as well as my options for overcoming the other less positive issues. It's not just 'making the best of a bad situation' thinking that should operate. There are lessons to be learned and we might as well be about this as we continue. Ignoring won't work. And... perhaps now is the best time to learn them rather than at a later, less opportune time.

...  on that path now?
 

Right where you are...

  I realize that I may harp on this subject a great deal, but it's because it is so vitally important that we purposely and as fully as possible, comprehend the significance of this view, this mindset. It's the focal point and the foundation from which we start everything in our day and it can't be dismissed or slighted. Each day has its carry overs from previous days. Each day has new adventures and headaches. Each day... And yet, simply... each day is new.

  And that's where you need to start - right from where you are. And no, that doesn't mean reinventing the wheel. But there is a bit of a 'fresh' beginning each morning. Plus there's no 'rule' that says you have to make the mistakes from yesterday. Where you left off yesterday is the starting place, but only in terms of knowing what happened and what will need to happen in this day and the rest is being attentive and observant to the other stimuli that populate and impact the day. It's almost, depending on your mindset, that you can have a new adventure or discovery each day. But it all starts from right where you are and being aware of what that is and means.

  I think that the activities and events that occur in the day only have meaning and significance if we can embrace them. They don't have to be totally understood and categorized, but it does mean that you can be involved, consciously. This does require a learners mindset. And it will require attention, especially to the little things. But it does not require tension or an intensity that robs you of the delights that you encounter. A balancing act, yes but not one that lessens your joy.

  So why harp on the 'right where you are' philosophy. Probably because I don't see this happening for so many. They get caught up in the crises, the responsibilities, the plans, the problems that they often miss the delights, the joys, the learnings, the opportunities. Responsible doesn't mean a tenaciousness that misses the possibilities. Plans and problems can include looking at other opportunities. And all this can be done... right where you are.

...but, what do you think?

Life is NOT a do over

  Ohhh wouldn't that be nice if we could do over? As much as we might like to believe (hope?), we do not get a chance to go back in our life history and savor the times we really enjoyed, or correct mistake(s) - life doesn't allow us to... do over. Granted, if we find we are doing something that is not in our best interests or in the interests of others, we can correct an oversight, error, (fill in the blank). But it will always be slightly different because time and conditions have changed since that original moment. Life NEVER stands still. Unfortunately, it appears that too often we rush unthinking, mindlessly into the day. And yes, that was harsh. But incorrect???

  I suspect that if we were more intentional about what we are doing and saying that we wouldn't so often regret our words and/or actions and wish for a 'do over'. But will we become more intentional? It rarely is a case of ability but more of a willingness to 'improve'. For some, though they realize they may inadvertent be less than (fill in the blank), they see a more intentional approach as inhibiting their spontaneity. That, in my opinion, is facile and specious - an excuse. Actually my argument would be that intentionality is more attuned to the moment and definitely creative.

  Without the ability to return to whatever we want or need to, at least we need to be conscious enough not to repeat behavior and words that are detrimental to self or others. We can learn, we can change, we can improve... if we are willing. I would argue that everything on a conscious level is dependent upon that word - willing. When we know then we can change but we can't change unless we are willing. Building blocks. Our choices.

  The bottom line in this is you. What are you wanting and willing to do? Does a life free from a lot of excuses or apologies appeal? Be willing to be intentional. Does a life free from hurt feelings or misunderstandings appeal? Be willing to be intentional. You can, you know. You can determine that your intentionality is not a deterrent to who you are but is an enhancement because you cease to be in those uncomfortable places and wish for a do over....

willing to act on your change?
 

Too many questions?

  Actually, that's a question too. But, really, can there ever be too many questions? I think not. I don't believe and would argue that there can ever be too many questions. I believe that it is the ability to ask questions that sparks our creativity. Questions spur us onward to find answers which typically evolves into even more questions. Questions is the engine that moves us, many times way beyond the box.

  But the point is that there are always questions you never do ask. I think of all the questions I never asked my parents or grandmothers. These would be the questions about who they were, what their relationships were, where they came from, what their experiences were. I hate to say but I never thought about it. This reinforces my personal belief that the young don't think about these things because they are involved with discovering their world. What a tragedy. It is our history that tells us how we got to where we are. History is the hand of belonging, the hand of understanding.

  My suggestion is always face any problem or difficulty by asking questions. Remember, questions are designed to lead. They can lead us to understanding which allows us to act intelligently and purposely. Questions lead us to pursue our answers to move us into knowing. You will be led to discover options, ramifications, and alternatives. But... if you only seek answers, you'll rarely discover wisdom. Questions lead us further than only answers, if we allow it.

  I've often said that I've never found a question I didn't like. It's true. Though sometimes the places those questions led were uncomfortable because they involved discovering truths about self or about life that were difficult to accept. But they never misled. For me, one of my personal goals has always been wisdom. Part of wisdom is applying knowledge. And a path to knowledge is questions. Questions are a path to discovery, to adventure...

...your questions?

Moving on...

  When you hear those two words, what do you think? Obviously 'movement' from point A to point B but on what level? Movement can be emotional, psychological, intellectual, spiritual, etc. as well as physical. How do you feel about moving on? Many people really dislike having their neat schedule interrupted with a new 'ingredient' to their mix. When I checked with Webster I discovered an interesting phrase in the definition of 'move': "to go or pass... with a continuous motion". It was the 'continuous motion' that captured my attention.

  Regardless of the context, when you move - do you do so with a continuous motion? Or is it with fits and starts? Or does it depend... Probably the latter. Certain moving on's are expected and cause only a minor ripple in your life while others are the result of something rather dramatic that happen that is the cause for moving. Moving on kicking and screaming the whole time is rarely effective, though many of us do this. Unfortunately, that behavior precludes much that can be learned about ourselves when we are faced with this issue.

  Moving on with a continuous motion seems to imply a certain degree of planning - knowing what we are going to do next. But this doesn't always occur. Sometimes our moving on is in a relatively unknown, to us, situation. Now, how we are suppose to act in this new environment may require a steep learning curve or a more simple one, but learning is always part of the mix. Is it our choice to move on? Or are we being propelled into movement? Did we see this possibility early or were we surprised?

  There are a vast array of variables that impact on our moving on. Sometimes we have the luxury to have a reasoned approach to our decision. Many times we don't. Our attitude in both of these possibilities tends to dictate the success or pain of the movement. This issue of if we will move on is rarely in the mix. Thus, we need to be proactively involved in our moving on rather than the recipient of the situation, regardless of the degree of 'power' in making the decision. We also need to be aware of what we are learning so it can be the basis the next time we are in a... moving on.

...so, how do you move on?

The 'little' things...

  It's those 'little things', those minor inconveniences or little irritants in one's life that can be or become large stumbling stones in our journey's future. Problem is that they won't simply fade away. You know they have to be addressed but you continue to put it off. Uninvited, if they aren't dealt with though, they tend to loom right in our line of vision.  I'm beginning to think that it's how we handle these issues rather than the issues themselves that are more telling and more indicative of who we are.

  What do you do with your 'little' things? There are a number of choices we have. Since these items are not crisis issues we can delay our response till a more convenient (however you define the word) time. Problem #2 is when the 'little' issues become a much larger problem, and we have no alternative except to finally face them. At that time we may be in crisis decision making mode which is rarely the best reasoned approach. Most of the time we really don't think that these 'little' things will grow, even though our experience tells us they will. I suspect we simply don't want to be bothered.

  Why do we do this? I can provide all sorts of scenarios that may be your excuse at the moment but it's the behavior of procrastination that we really need to address. Most of us in most of these procrastinations have other 'things' on our plates that are either more immediate or more interesting. Because... most of the 'little things' are not new, we simply haven't dealt with the underlying problem. It really isn't that we are unaware, we simply - don't. Maybe we think it is too difficult or not a 'terrible' problem or ...

  The longer we put off facing our 'little things' the more they can become rather large boulders in our journey. Eventually they will demand being dealt with and my experience is that it is rarely at an opportune moment. Logic aside, as we face these issues it would seem, on hindsight, that it is possible to develop strategies to address our 'little things' so they don't grow. If we don't we'll continue to be rushing to handle, last minute, our 'little things'...

...but, what do you think?

Trust your journey

  There is no one or 'expert' that says that your journey will be easy, that it will be a smooth and effortless, that it will be an uncomplicated trip. And there is no where that indicates your path will be flat with no highs or lows, then again... would you really want it this way? Isn't it the challenges and adventures that tell you who you are and, in this case, whether or not you are on the right path? Do you have the peace of confidence about your journey, regardless of what is happening around you?

  Wouldn't it be terrible to come to the end of your travels to discover that where you are is not where you want to be but you never realized it as you went along? Does that last sentence sound somewhat contradictory to the title? The point is if you don't trust your journey then you will find it very difficult to continue on the path you are on. I suspect you will be constantly looking around to see if a different option would be better. Trusting your journey doesn't make you oblivious to other options but it does enhance your learnings as you go along and most importantly, it gives you a heightened level of trust.

  What does it mean to trust your journey? You need to find/develop your definition but for me it means that I don't always have to know what and who I'm going to meet as I walk out my journey. It means that I need to try to the best of my ability to learn from the day and what happens. It means that I not react and interrelate in a mindless or inattentive manner. Trust always requires an intentionality because you will be tested along your way... by yourself, by others, by what happens expected and unexpected. Besides, life does this to us.

  And... as you continue on your journey, intentionally and alertly, you will be in a position to develop and grow in trust. Remember though that trusting your journey does not make the trip without its opportunities and threats. Trust never makes life a rose colored glasses reality. Trust allows us to be able to stand on what we know, admit our mistakes, allow ourselves the opportunity to grow. But most of all, it gives us the confidence to enjoy the journey and not be afraid.

...but, what do you think?

STOP!!!!

  Do you? When you see a stop sign or lights or other method (like a railroad crossing) do you come to a full and complete stop? Or do you do a quick look and do a rolling through the intersection as your stopping behavior? You do realize, don't you, that stop signs are not suggestions - they are directives! YOU must stop - totally, completely and then follow the direction for proceeding! So, do you? Like most people... unless there is an obstacle moving toward you, probably not. And then you excuse your action with a... everyone does it. Remember though that simply because many (never all) do, it doesn't make it right.

  Do you view 'stop' as an interference? Why? Is it critical to be somewhere at a particular time or is this merely an infringement on 'your personal freedoms'? If the former then why didn't you start in plenty of time so that your journey to your destination isn't rushed? If the latter... give me a break, the 'stop' is for your freedom, to protect you. And none of us is above following these kinds of directions, they are there for us as well as the other person. Anarchy is the alternative.

  If you do become irritated then there is obviously something else happening in your life. And now it is even more critical for you to stop! You need to identify the reason(s) for your irritation so that you can also deal with the emotion surrounding it. If you don't then it will manifest at another time and that may not be the your best time to deal with the underlying problem, issue. A 'stop' should rarely, if ever, evoke a response in you that becomes 'over the top'.

  And what about the stops in your personal life? How do you handle these? With the same level of anger that you meet out for intangible issues? Reality says we all face stops along our journey, how we react with them become character points. Einstein is attributed with saying that if we continue doing what we've always done, then we will always receive what we've always received (paraphrased). This should cause us to look at how we 'handle' the stops in our lives. If how we previously reacted didn't work before, perhaps it's time to develop a new way of meeting these issues. Just a thought...

...but, what do you think?

Signs

  All roads have signs giving information on a whole host of travel related issues and options. Actually signs are designed to assist us, to help us as we move along such as slow down, curve ahead; or men working or they tell us the distance to our 'destination' or next pit stop. Some tell us of the sleeping, food or fuel locations ahead and some give us information about the areas such as parks or lakes. Regardless of the information, signs are there to assist us. What other signs do we see on our journey? Do we heed the signs of personal problems that we may face or that we need to face? Or do we blithely continue on regardless of what the signs may be telling us?

  We don't need to be continuing our journey in a guarded fashion but we also shouldn't be ignorant of what we are seeing. How do signs make you feel? Wary? Realizing the need to prepare? Anxious? Signs always evoke emotions and many times emotions direct our thinking and actions... good and bad. When you see thunderclouds in the distance, you prepare for this by having rain equipment ready when/if bad weather strikes. Are we prepared for any spiritual storms? These also come, but there are always signs indicating upcoming issues. Scripture tells us to be aware of what is happening around us so we aren't caught unprepared.

  The one emotion signs shouldn't evoke is fear. Signs are always provided in advance of any upcoming issue we will need to face. What we should be doing is continue confidently and then act when and if there is need. The same mindset should exist in all the areas of our lives since signs are present in our lives daily. Sometimes the signs tells us to keep moving, sometimes they warn us of upcoming problems and that we need to proceed with caution. Sometimes signs alert us to what is also on our path. The point is that signs are information that we can use to determine what we want to do, or should do.

  Typically most of us are quite facile with the obvious signs - the problems come when we ignore the spiritual, psychological, intellectual, etc. signs that tell us who we are and how we go about being who we are. These signs are critical and we honestly can't say we aren't 'warned', that the signs weren't there. They are. Part of heeding signs is to listen to ourselves. I don't think I've ever heard anyone decry the fact that they prepared but nothing 'happened'. Perhaps it did. And perhaps it was the preparation, the heeding of the signs that mitigated the problem.

...but, what do you think?

 

Possibility or Problem... which do you see?

  Yes, this is another of those attitude issues. But how we view an 'obstacle' tells us a great deal about how we approach resolution. Is it a possibility? Is it a problem? You do prepare differently dependent upon how the obstacle is viewed. Actually the first thing we need to know is ... is it an obstacle?

  I am one of 'them' who thoroughly enjoys a challenge. I'm always in competition with myself to do better, be better, etc. So obstacles are typically viewed as possibilities. Not always, but I discovered that if my mindset was 'possibility' and not 'problem' then I tended to be more creative and resolved whatever the issue was more quickly. One thing you must remember is that I do tend to define words somewhat 'uniquely'. A 'possibility' mindset may come to the resolution that there's nothing you can do so the best thing is to not continue throwing money and other resources into an enterprise that will never succeed. That is never an issue - it's the result of analysis.

  Problems, in my world of definitions, is more emotional. And attempting to resolve whatever the issue is from only an emotional stance I've found to be ineffective. Read carefully - this is not underestimating or denying emotion, it definitely has its function in resolution as well, but the 'possibility' mindset puts the emotion as part of the overall equation - not the driving force. The emotion component can lead into an outside the box solution but it is complemented by the other components of analysis, logic, etc.

  If your life is ruled by problems rather than possibilities, I think you must be in a constant state of crisis management. This can get very frenzied and frantic rather than reasoned. And most important... where's your peace? You can change the way you react to your life and the issues that emerge. 'You' is the subject. I'm not suggesting you deny problems when they arise, but you can always choose to meet them as possibilities and not let 'problem' control.

...what do you see?