Good enough...

is that what you're waiting for? Are you waiting until you are a more 'satisfactory' candidate, or ready... whatever that means? Or maybe you are hesitant because you think you'll have to give up all those 'things' that are part of your life that you enjoy? Not. There is an apt scripture that says... "Behold, now is the accepted time; behold , now is the day of salvation. (2 Corinthians 6:2) And if you wonder if this applies to you, read 2 Thessalonians 2:13 - you were chosen! It's your decision to accept the gift or not.

  Behold is one of those words that is meant to capture your attention. It means: stop, listen to (or see) what's happening right now. Further definitions are: "to keep hold to, give regard to, discern, contemplate..." It is an act. It's what YOU do, it's never done for you. You have the opportunity to see what's happening right now. It's an immediacy word. Whenever the word is used in scripture it's meant to tell us that what's occurring is important for us to know and understand. And if we are to know, to understand - we will be able to if we give attention to it. 

  Behold in these particular scriptures tell us that now is now and now is for us! We won't be able to say later that we weren't warned, or didn't know. And now is not then, not in the future, it is now. And if you notice, there are no qualifications to this. It doesn't say you have to do 'this' or you need to do 'that' before you act on the information following the 'behold'. If it seems like I'm beating a dead horse, it's simply to reinforce the point. Behold! Now! And it is all your choice.

  Those scriptures should answer any and all questions, but if you think there are a variety of 'paths' to salvation, the answer is no. Peter in Acts 4:12 says: "Nor is there salvation in any other (referring to Jesus), for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved." (See also Hosea 13:4) Any other questions about if salvation is for you - when, by whom? So what is stopping you? What argument can you offer that stops you from choosing Jesus? You really are 'good enough' right now, right here.

Relationship...

  Critical. Important. Not to be ignored or simply to become 'whatever'. Relationships are always in a state of growth and change or they atrophy into nothingness. I'm certain we've all experienced those relationships in our lives that just seemed to peter out. Why? What happened that caused this? Then there are those rare people that we can go days and weeks without talking to and then pick up right where we left off - why? What is that essential quality that allows some relationships to stagnate and dissipate and others continue to exist?

  My 'guess' would be that one of the important criterion is the depth of the relationship. There are those (few) people that we seem to bond with immediately. These people become our closest advisers, supporters, confidants - the ones we laugh with and cry with. And supporting my 'depth' basis is that the relationship is reciprocal - both you and that other person are involved, at some level, in each other's lives and who we are.

  But these relationships are not left to chance. You 'work' on maintaining the contact and don't let the life of your life to overcome everything. I know that last sentence may not make much sense but we sometimes get so wrapped up in what we are doing and thinking that we don't take the time to bring others into our world. With those special people near and far we take the time to share what's happening in our world and to discover what's happening in their world. Actually people really are quite important to who we are and how we get there.

  There is one relationship that we should never let time provide an excuse for why there is distance. And that relationship is with the Lord. He doesn't move away from us, but we do seem to forget or distance ourselves. He knows what's happening but He should never be just a bystander in our lives. However, we have to invite Him in for Him to participate. He will share and teach and joy in our successes more than anyone else could or would. The Lord isn't an 'out there' concept, He is a right here person. But only if we allow it, if we invite Him in. 

  So what's your relationship with the Lord? Is it a close, intimate sharing or do you relegate Him to ... out there? Equally important... what do you want? It really is your decision......

Desire power

  You do realize, don't you, that there is will power and there is desire power and desire always trumps will? It does. If 'desire' doesn't provide the foundation for 'will' then the potentiality of success in (fill in the blank) is extremely difficult, if not impossible. Definitions - Webster says that 'desire' is "ask for, request, want; long for, crave...yearn for". From this we can see that desire is on a continuum from something you 'ask for' all the way to the other end - 'crave'. This argument can be expanded to see the potentiality for intense power when your desire and will are combined.

  Desire has the potentiality for supporting and driving will. But I'm convinced that without desire, will has little foundation to stand on. A simple example: I want (will to) to lose 10 pounds. However is my will strong enough to push me to accomplish this? Maybe. Probably not because I also need to desire to make those changes that put me in the position to accomplish this goal. Perhaps you think I'm begging the question? I don't think so. I really don't believe that desire and will are the same forces - I believe each has a function to perform. But without the support of 'desire' I think that 'will' doesn't have the strength it would need for goal accomplishment.

  This doesn't mean that I don't think will isn't strong. All you have to do is watch a toddler making his or her wishes known. That's true power of will! However, as we age and grow will's power can either increase or remain somewhat static depending on us. Does 'will' become a word we only mouth (basically to ourselves)? Is it a force that propels us? Take a long look at those things you desire, do you accompany that desire by exercising your will? I believe that until and unless we match the will with desire we will never experience the success of attaining (fill in the blank).

  Splitting hairs? Maybe. But my point in all this is that intellectually you can will to do/be something but unless you desire to accomplish this, will doesn't have the emphasis of commitment to complete the process. At least that's my opinion. Too often we say that we will to (fill in the blank) but never follow up on the necessary actions to accomplish whatever goal we are working for/on. Will is always more than words and our desire for success can move our will toward fulfillment.

Quality of life

  How's yours? Do you walk in a high (your definition) level of  'quality of life'? I suspect we should begin with a definition... how do you define this state? One little hint... quality of life is not a 'not'. It isn't what isn't in your life nor is it looking at an absence of the negative - quality of life is always defined in terms of 'is' and all the positives. And no, it is NOT a denial of the negative but it's what you focus on... at least in my world of definitions. It seems to me that a positive focus can resolve problems faster. My definition of quality of life includes an observation 'clause' - you can see, not the level, but at least the primary status in your (and others) behavior. So back to the initial questions: how's your quality of life and how do you define this state?

  Perhaps it isn't a state to accomplish, perhaps it's the journey? Not sure but I do know that, at least subconsciously, you always know: if, and at what level of your definition of what comprises 'quality of life', defines where you are. However, one does need to be abiding at a level that is 'greater' than the level you've been at before. Quality is a growth issue. By process of elimination, this means that quality of life is: on a continuum and is something you act on, you do 'something' about (work on) since it's not an 'arrived' state.

  I can't underestimate the impact and effect that quality of life plays on our behavior and who and how we present ourselves. You may not realize how much this underlying principle impacts on you. However, it is foundational to attitude. And because it is, we are the ones who control our attitude which, by extension, means that we control our quality of life. Had you made the connection between attitude and quality? Or are you so entrenched in survival that you don't even consider quality of life?

  Whether you are talking about attitude or quality, it is always 'controlled' by you. These two always impact and affect each other. Does this mean that this is 'situational' based for you? Does it depend on whatever situation you are in and/or facing, that this becomes the determiner of your attitude and thus your quality? Or are you a 'foundational' based person? This person typically acts and responds based on their personal foundation (beliefs, operational definitions, etc.) rather than the situation. This is not always easy, but it is a guiding principle for those who see life as a gift and not a burden. 

Yesterday? Tomorrow? or Now?

  Not an idle question. We tend to relive yesterday or we plan for tomorrow and/or both, but... do we miss now in the process? It really is a legitimate question and one I've asked any number of times in various and sundry ways... still relevant - where do we spend the vast majority of our 'living' time, our thought life? One should never quickly respond with 'now' because that isn't always the case. It should be our modus operandi but it isn't always the reality.

  What keeps us from living in the now? What takes our attention away from the memories we are making right now? And equally important - why do we allow it? Granted it sometimes is to provide a momentary escape from the issues and problems of right now but where do you typically head first - yesterday or tomorrow? Is it easier for you to savor the victories and successes of yesterday or the potential for tomorrow? Perhaps an equally important question is: how long do you stay in yesterday or tomorrow?

  Regardless of the headaches, problems, obstacles, etc. that you face in your today... if you don't face them then they will impact on tomorrow. You do realize this, yes? Ignoring, denying has never been an effective response. I do admit that sometimes you need some time to quickly assess or catch your breath - everyone needs times of 'escape' from what's happening as a kind of cobwebs cleaning - but then you need to return to the now reality. Actually, if we use our 'away' time profitably we may discover resolutions to the issues we are facing.

  However, do remember that now isn't all problems and issues. There are positives that exist as well, and if you live outside of 'now' you may not experience them. Now can produce new paradigms to consider which may impact on tomorrow. Now is an anchor which, without an involvement in now, we may miss some important learnings and we also may miss some delightful 'accidents'. Now speaks immediacy and this discovery enhances our understanding of ourselves. Again, I know I return to this theme often but it's because I really believe that it's important to be mindful of what we do and what we focus on. Visit yesterday and tomorrow but embrace your now! 

Prosperous Life

  One of my favorite scriptures is in Jeremiah (29:11): "For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."!!! He has plans to prosper us... PLUS not harm, give us hope, future! Goodness, what a marvelous, wonderful promise the Lord has for His people. He also reaffirms this 'promise' in Ephesians (2:10) when He tells us: "For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them." Remember though that these scriptures are predicated on our accepting Jesus as our Lord. And the next steps are discovering who we are as a result.

 So let me ask you... are you living the prosperous life? Let me back up a minute, how do you define prosperous? Without your definition how can you possibly know if you are living the prosperous life. Also... do you have hope? Is your future bathe in hope? First - what's your definition of prosperous? Is it only financial? Material? If more/other then what? Is prosperous based on those 'things' you don't have? To be completely honest, at one time I did think that prosperous was only in terms of financial and material. Grief, how limiting!

  Do understand that it's the Lord who is speaking these words, perhaps we should know His definition of 'prosperous'? God describes Himself as Jehovah Jireh (Genesis 22:14), our provider. So now we know where the source of prosperous is. But what is it? Actually it is grounded in faith - faith that God will provide. This does not mean that we should tempt God to see if he will provide when we get ourselves in a dire situation (Matthew 4:7). But we can rely on His word (Isaiah 55:11) that He will provide when we come to Him in need - and that is the definition, at least in my world.

  The Lord invites us into the prosperous life because He has purchased 'abundant' for us. However, it is up to us to learn what this means and to act on our understanding. And we can't act without faith. So I propose this definition: The Prosperous Life is one that is lived in faith, one that is built on trust. And no, this isn't simple. But... as we try to live out this definition we will look back and discover we are living a prosperous life.

Worth and Value

   Do you believe that you are a person of worth and value? Maybe this should be stated a bit stronger... do you know that you are a person of worth and value? I know this may sound... harsh, but would you recognize these two qualities in yourself... and in others? According to what standard do you measure worth and value? Do you compare yourself to others? If you compare you may be in an apples and oranges situation because not everyone has the same operational definition. And the world's standard of wealth, fame, etc. is not the eternal definition.
 
  You are, you have worth and value. My caveat is that the standard I would recommend be accepted  is one that can only be found in Jesus. You must take that first step of belief in Jesus as your personal savior. The point is that this isn't my definition, it's the one given by God. Once you have made that declaration of faith in Jesus then according to 2 Corinthians (5:17-21) you are now a new creation. And with this understanding you now are a person of worth and value. While there are many confirmations of this in scripture, the one that is the most all encompassing (to me) is Romans 8:1. 

  This is not something you 'earn' or something you can purchase. It is the free gift that is all yours because you have accepted Jesus. Sounds simple? It is. And all it requires is you. But it requires ALL of you, not just some, not when it is convenient to you - this is a 24/7, 365 day commitment. But it doesn't require you to 'be good' in order to make this commitment and receive the abundance that comes with it. Your new life begins with right where you are, right now - no rejections. Perhaps I should have also stated that in all caps. The exciting and mind blowing reality is that Jesus meets each one of us who choose Him right where we are with NO rejections.

  Of course He never leaves us where He meets us because His desire is for us to have all that He has purchased for us. What we don't always realize, at least initially, is that He doesn't want us to stay in the condition in which we find ourselves because He desires us to begin our journey with Him which leads to a deeper understanding. A new journey of meaning of  'worth and value'.

Shy?

  Would you describe yourself as shy? Is 'shy' a negative? Does this upset you? Obvious answer... it depends. Personally I've always felt that the shy (other person) is worth the effort to get to know. Perhaps it's because I tend toward the 'shy' myself. But shy can be expressed in a variety of ways. Being introverted is one way. With these types you have to be patient and take the time to get to know them ... but you have to do this on their terms. Is it worth it to you? For far too many... they don't take the time and that is their loss. Read that last line again if you are the shy type... those who don't take the time to try and know you... it is their loss. But you will need to meet them somewhere on that continuum.

  Another expression of shy is to take the 'offensive'. The person who is apparently outgoing may really not be. They may simply be defining their world and controlling who, what, and when to be involved. Those who initiate the contact, do they focus on themselves or the other person? If they are not engaged in a 'give and take' communication they may be deflecting any indication of who they are. This is especially evident when they don't really respond to what is being said but at the same time don't really share their thoughts.

  My version of 'shy' is to be intentional about all communication with the other person - encouraging and allowing them to express themselves. I believe I'm a good listener and I also believe that, for the most part, people don't feel they are heard - that's my initial response to allow them the opportunity to express their feelings and thoughts. While it may sound altruistic, my point is to allow them to, nonjudgmental, express themselves. And then to respond to what they say, typically with a question rather than to state my beliefs. And no, that is not a non-transparent response.

  Shy really can be either a proactive or nonreactive approach to other people. Personally I find people a joy and fascination so I would recommend the proactive approach. You can use 'shy' as an excuse to keep yourself from people - that accomplishes only a lonely condition. The other approach is to meet them and discover who they are... where they are. Then you have the option of how much of you that you are willing to share. Question though - what are you afraid of? If you are comfortable and confident in who you are... you should be willing to share you. Yes? And if you aren't the shy type... don't underestimate those who are.

Sorry, sorry... I was wrong.

  'Wrong' may be a bit strong, but 'not completely right' seemed to beg the statement. This refers to a stand I had previously made. A couple of years ago I had written that we, as Christians, have no option but to forgive if we want to live forgiven. That's true, my 'error' was that I went on to say that even though we had to forgive, we didn't need to forget. Wrong! I've discovered that unless we choose to forget as well, we are encumbered by a great deal of baggage.

  My reassessment came when I was talking with someone about grudges (I eventually wrote about this topic). While I maintained that I didn't believe I held grudges.... I think I did.  I'm not sure I put all the pieces together until a kind of 'of course' merged into my consciousness. My reassessment led me to the belief that grudges really are excess baggage and quite heavy. But it also says a great deal more than simply holding on to what was. It truly is a version of cutting off one's nose to spite one's face. Unless and until we do forget we are handcuffed into yesterday.

  The truly sad realization is that whoever you have held in 'bondage' is really... yourself. People grow and change - you do, so don't you think it might be possible that others do as well? Of course. And if the offending party knows you've forgiven them, then they aren't operating on a basis of then. But you are. Not forgetting is locking the situation into a time and place that no longer exists. At the same time, forgetting doesn't mean that you need to quickly trust at the level you once did. Let it grow. If the other person proves that they really aren't worth the grace you extended then you can let it go.

  Forgetting does allow for a 'letting go' and it also allows for a 'moving on'. Grudges never allow you to move on. Forgiving IS the first step but you need to take the second step and forget what happened and grant grace to the situation. Besides, as fallible creatures, our understanding of the then may not be the entire reality. The plus in this is that you may be able to redeem the relationship. If not, you still aren't carrying the baggage of not forgetting. And that... is freedom!

Locked into only one answer?

  Often this gets translated into a mindset that there's only one way of doing things, of seeing (fill in the blank) - and that rarely is the case. As a young person I discovered I could see more than one answer, more than one side in the situation. This made taking multiple choice tests extremely difficult since when you consider a question from one point of view, the answer was -a- but if you looked at the situation with a different perspective then -d- could be the answer. Really hated multiple choice tests... though for the sake of the tests I often chose the expected answer. But really... wasn't that limiting? What if....

  I also discovered that if I expected a particular result, then often the self fulfilling prophecy mindset kicked in. And yes, it is extremely difficult to not enter into a problem deciding activity without some sense of the 'potential' answer. However, if you give yourself permission to explore and consider other responses, you may find yourself both pleasantly surprised and effectively responding with a new paradigm. And many times it is the alternative solution that ends up being the back-up response.

  Perhaps it's my 'what if' thinking that leads to contemplating other responses to the question or problem. I've always felt that options planning was critical and gave me the opportunity to determine the best resolution. 'Only' is rarely accurate - and most issues allow us some time to consider other responses. And yes, it is always 'worth it'. Because it's in the other option thinking that allows us to more fully consider the ramifications/unexpected results or by-products that provide us with a better decision.

  When you lock yourself into only one 'right' answer or only one way of doing things then the opportunities to grow also diminish. If all we do is what have done in the past then how does progress occur? And if we only get the results that we always get then do we limit what is possible? Obviously my answer would be to not throw the 'typical' way of doing things but to use that as the foundation to expand into other areas. Locked implies chained and movement is severely limited in this reality.

TRUST!

  Have you truly considered the impact that word has on your relationships??? All your relationships. Your level of trust - in the other person, in yourself, in the relationship - determines what you do and say and what you don't. Granted, that's an obvious statement, but do you really consider the effect and influence and significance? Do you understand how it impacts on your relationships and also defines you? I know I've written about trust before - in general and in some of specifics and behaviors - but I'm revisiting the word and its importance again. Partially because we all interact with people daily and our level of trust in them will determine how we interact.

  You can't lightly dismiss how trust truly determines much of your behavior and words. But it's equally important to know your definition of the word and how it plays out in your behavior. How do you operationally define trust? Since trust is an action word, at least in terms of how it affects your behavior, do you see how it might impact on what you say and to whom? Do you appreciate those who have earned your trust? And... do you see their trust in you?

  Webster defines trust as: "reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc. of a person or thing; confidence". Webster goes on to say: "trust implies a feeling of security". Is that your operational definition? Trust, in my world of definitions, means that I can rely on (fill in the blank) rather than be uncertain of the other person's words or acceptance. The problem comes when trust is broken. How do we handle these situations.

 

  Obviously trust is built on something - typically your experiences. Rarely do we enter into a situation without a sense of what we know to be true, not suspect or think or heard about - know. And trust is always earned ... over time. One positive experience is not a basis to trust, an inclination - yes, but it does take time and situations that provide you with the information you need in order to trust the other, at least at some level. Without a level of trust, it's like having one foot out of the door... just in case.

"To everything there is a season...

and a time for every purpose under heaven." I've always liked that scripture from Ecclesiastes (and the song). Part of the reason I like this is the inherent promise of a better tomorrow. For every 'negative' there's a positive - and yes, each positive does speak of a negative. However, the point is the balance between the two extremes. We can expect both. Which means we can plan for both: one, to take advantage of all the positive in the positive and two, to prepare in order to 'handle' the negative during those times.

  The question may be... do you see a season in all your 'everything's'? And which (positive-negative) do you focus on? Are you always only seeing the negative that impacts on your life?  Do you have any idea how that redirects your thinking... how it skews your mindset? Or are you always only seeing the positive that impacts on your life? And while this approach is considerably improved (my bias) it still is a skewed way of looking at your life. There's a phrase that most everyone speaks and typically does not apply to one's own life - 'Moderation in all things.'

  In most of the life adventures and mindset determinations, moderation is an excellent beginning point. Webster uses the following adjectives to define and describe 'moderation': composure, restraint, calmness, within reasonable limits. Sounds good? But exactly who and what defines 'reasonable'? Is it you? Or is it imposed from 'others'? Undeniably we all seek a state of equilibrium, of balance... however, there has to be passion that compels us in many of the essential 'things'. Yes?

  Passion is not willy nilly, it has to have substance and foundation but it also has to have the ability and opportunity to present its expression (which we allow or disallow). Webster defines 'passion': fervor, zeal, ardor. To me, and my world of definitions, life without passion is bland. Passion describes those areas in my life that add spice to my living. Passion is an action word in that you can see or hear passion in the words of the speaker and you can see the concomitant behavior displayed.

  And how does this relate to 'everything having a season'? It tells us that everything has a degree of importance but it is we, the actors, that determine the importance, the relevance, the season's length and impact. We are not created to be tossed by every wind that comes by. We can be strong enough to experience the fullness that life offers... as long as we are willing to (fill in the blank).

'Possibilities'

  Did the movie, The Bucket List, inspire you to make your own list? And after you made your list... then what? Regardless of how long ago you made your list (years, or right now) and presupposing you know where you put that list... look at it again. Have you accomplished anything on your list? Are those items still relevant to you? And what's the probability you'll follow through on them? Did you make your list in the 'heat of the moment' or by thoughtful consideration?

  The concept of developing a 'bucket list', in my humble opinion, is a good one. Wherever you are on your life's journey, taking some time to develop a list of those things you'd like to experience and accomplish is a proactive one.... if you follow through. Many of us who make a list tend to file it away 'for a better time' and don't see it as affecting our day-to-day living. Why? Do you have items on your list that simply are for another time? And when will that time come? If constructing your list was only a momentary dalliance, was there any part of you that thought you could tick the entries off? And is your list in cement or does it evolve, especially as you accomplish an entry?

    I do think it's a good idea to put down every thing you'd like to do but at some point, it's important to refine your list into those things that are a 'probability'. Keep the 'pie in the sky' items but focus on the possibilities. My bias would be that you also look at the remaining items as to whether they have eternal significance for your life or whether they are simply fun things. Never throw out the fun things but look at the items that impact on your life's journey and how this helps determine who you are.

  'Possibilities' are those items that you actually will take the time to accomplish. Of interest is how many of those items are solo and how many include others. Do you need others to become involved in your list? Or is it a situation of preferring to enjoy having the opportunity to share the adventure with someone? Will you eliminate those items that are not solo? The point in this is that the possibilities are accomplish-able. The question is - do they make an eternal impact on becoming a better you? As I said earlier, don't eliminate the 'fun' but also choose to focus on the meaningful and personally significant entries. 

Just over the upcoming hill looms...

another adventure? Something new to discover? A new friend to meet? Or greet an old friend? Perhaps a new challenge... or the answer to the problem that you currently are facing? What will your eyes behold? What will you see? Are you excited? Fearful? Anticipating? What and how do you feel? Anxious? Hopeful? Actually, 'today' offers you all that... and, I suspect, more. But how you face your today depends on you and your attitude, mindset. If, when you faced yesterday, the result turned out less than positive will you let this taint your today?

  But... do we only rely on how we reacted before as our guide? Are we open to a new or different approach in order to experience a new result? Our mindset, frame of reference and experiences are concepts that I tend to talk about a great deal. But you really can't be cavalier about them. Your mindset is your frame of reference and it is always in a state of refinement, or at least my bias is that it should. Your mindset is one of the pillars in your foundation. One's mindset forms the basis on which we act, our behavior. We develop our mindset but our mindset directs us.

  My bias would be that the upcoming looming has the potential of being a grand new adventure. Minimally it will show you a new horizon. So, you're at the top of the hill... what do you see now? Are there only problems and issues? Perhaps there's an inviting vista of new opportunities. The point is that even in the negative that maybe awaiting you, can you now preplan? Maybe you can align your resources to meet the challenge? And maybe... just maybe there may be some new resources for you to explore and add to your arsenal.?

  There's a scripture that tells us that God's mercies are renewed every morning. Which tells us that we can expect and rely on Him and His abilities to be available to us ... every morning. Do we utilize this knowledge when we begin our day? And especially do we remember this promise when we look upon the upcoming hill in our today? Can we capitalize on this mindset to what may be ... just over the upcoming hill? He told us: "He would always be with us and will provide a way through situations that are beyond us. We are more than conquerors through Christ who strengthens us!" It really comes down to how we approach all the unknowns in our lives, but we really are amazingly equipped.

 

Appreciate

  Such a relatively simple word but one that is jammed packed with all sorts of interpretations and reactions. Have you considered the word? I'm totally convinced that this one aspect impacts so much of our feelings and subsequent behavior, many times without our awareness. Are you the recipient of words (and acts?) of appreciation? Do you provide words (and acts?) of appreciation to others? How is appreciation manifested in your world?

  We need to begin with a common definition. To me, appreciate implies a valuing, esteeming, an acknowledgement - BUT a known to others, not just an internal act. Webster defines appreciate as: "to be grateful or thankful for, to value or highly regard..." One of the synonyms is 'treasure'. And to treasure something/someone means a conscious valuing. Unfortunately, the problem is that it also is rarely stated. Which leads me to wonder how often I am remiss in not telling those in my world that I appreciate them simply for who they are and am blessed by their involvement in my life. Granted we often thank them when they do something for us, but how often is the appreciation expressed when there isn't an act prompting it?

  So... what about you. Do you let others know that you appreciate them? And is this said, not in a general sense, but specifically and with intentionality? I'm convinced that many times this is what underscores our attitudes and behavior. We truly aren't aware if what we do is of any importance ... to anyone. Overly dramatic? A tad, but the point is we rarely realize who we are and what we do is appreciated and that we rarely express our appreciation as well.

  Quite often I think that appreciation is one of those... 'it goes without saying...' Rubbish. It's the saying that will support what we (continue to) do. And yes, we probably shouldn't need this but most of the time we do. It really is quite irrelevant as to whether or not we should but what our awareness should spark is that we too need to provide this valuing for others. It doesn't take a lot of time and it reaps a tremendous reaction. Appreciate. A little word that means a great deal.

Search and Explore

  Do you consider yourself an explorer? One of the definitions from Webster is: "to examine or investigate". While pioneer and 'adventurer' describe the person who engages in this activity, it is 'seeker' that really indicates the mindset of an explorer.  And while exploration is typically viewed in terms of the far flung reaches of space or world... it doesn't need to be. Actually you can engaged in this activity from the comfort of your favorite chair. It's all about definitions ... so I ask the question again - do you consider yourself an explorer of/in/about (fill in the blank)?

  Do you describe yourself as a 'seeker'? And if so, what's the focus of your exploration, of your investigation? Mostly it's the focus that determines the activity necessary to engage in what you do. Because not all seeking is out in the wilds. Personally, I like to engage in this activity any time I go on a walk because there is always something new to discover or a new path to explore... when I give myself permission to do this. This mindset, giving yourself permission, underscores the reality that exploration is an activity that rarely is done 'by accident' - you have to decide to be an explorer.

  I think I've always been a seeker. Granted, the seeking hasn't always resulted in what I considered as a positive or 'great' learning, however it never has been a lack of discovery (one does find if one seeks) and the journey to understanding was never boring. I suspect it is those words: seek, discovery, journey, understanding that makes the explorer-mindset lifestyle so fascinating. But what do you think and believe? Does the exploration concept one that you enjoy? Can you venture forth without knowing what you may find? Perhaps there are 'parts' of your life that you do enjoy the search and explore mindset and others you guard so closely that they aren't available for ... a challenge?

  Being a seeker does require a sense of bravery and a level of comfort in who you are. It implies a trust that even when the discovery is less than a 'happy occurrence', you can learn from the discovery and let it refine your frame of reference. Does this describe you? And if it doesn't... will you pay the price to not apply understanding? Because once you discover, once you know and understand, you are responsible for this - you can't plead ignorance. Being a seeker is a journey that is full of challenges and you may stub your toe. But ... it is also full of excitement - and that's the spice in the journey of living.

Travel light!

  Open your suitcase or unzip your backpack - what do you see? What's in your baggage that you truly need and want and what is excess? Do you see lack of forgiveness? Even toward yourself? What about unthinking 'disorganization'? Is there yesterday's pain? Maybe you have un-success (which is different from 'failure')? What are those unresolved problems, issues that you continue to pack?

  Personally, I believe that the lack of forgiveness - especially of self - is the biggest consumer of space. If you've repented, sought forgiveness, then move on. Get over yourself! Lighten your load and make space for those things that are self affirming. Are you fearful of making the same mistake again? Shouldn't be if you learn from previous experience. Maybe you're concerned of simply making mistakes... will you? Probably. We all do since it is part and parcel of living and growing. But what advantage is there to standing still? Living is a growing process and mistakes can be the building blocks of that growth.

  When you consider the other items in your luggage that really have no value, why are you continuing to carry them? Because if you are then you are also assessing a value to these items. What do you learn from carrying pain? Or from carrying yesterday's mistakes? Or in continuing to hold onto those things that no longer are an aid in your journey? Familiarity? A kind of... knowing the enemy you know rather than allowing something new to emerge if you let those things go. Absolutely... you will discover new things that might trip you up, but you don't add to those 'familiar' things in your luggage. 

  I realize that I do tend to ask those uncomfortable questions and even restate them in a different way but that's only to help to make certain that your journey is all that it can be - for you. In this case... perhaps if you rid yourself of those 'items' you really don't need you will have room for those things that can't be packed because of them... such as: adventure, joy, discovery, happiness, learning, etc. Those items are well worth packing because they all enhance who you are and allow you to continue on your path to becoming!

The Ripple Effect

  Everyone knows that when you toss a pebble into a pond of water that there are ripples that emanate outward from the spot the pebble entered the water. Regardless of the size of the pebble or the pond, there is always a ripple caused by the action. To expect the ripples to not occur or continue to it's end is like suddenly doubting the sun won't rise in the morning - not gonna happen. Ripples always occur... always. This is another 'is'. I'm not talking about the size of the pebble/pond/ripple, I'm talking about the existence of a ripple.

  In the same context, as much as we may desire to deny it, everything, e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g we say or do sparks an effect, will cause a ripple...  What you say and what you do doesn't exist in a vacuum, and it never effects only you (and your 'target'). Words and actions cause a ripple effect though sometimes we don't see the extent to which the ramifications (ripples) from our behavior impact. This reality, though serious, should never occasion a paralysis of action on our part because even no action is and can become an action that creates an effect. A 'better' use of our time would be to become aware of how what we do and say affects others.

  Knowing that unintended as well as predictable reactions will occur from our words and actions should never become more than our internal 'check'. By this I mean that we need to think before we speak or act and not let emotions dictate. After having said that... I know we are all susceptible to problems because we all speak and act unthinkingly. But we also have within us the ability to control this 'spontaneity'. And when we 'check' ourselves this does not mean subjugating our thinking and beliefs. Actually this speaks to intentionality and what our goals are for what we say or do. 'Check' is merely an internal alarm causing us to know and be aware of how we do what we do. For example: if we are attempting to communicate then yelling will probably not achieve acceptance or understanding of what we are saying.

  Actually ripples aren't necessarily bad or should cause fear because there are positive outcomes as well. Once we grasp that ripples always happen then we can also see how we can use this given to do and say those things that cause positive outcomes.Ripples can give us our internal standard to prejudge a potential impact. Again the example: if our goal is to communicate something then we need to be alert and aware of reception so that any questions about what is said is understood. This approach provides a preemptive awareness to issues that can arise.
 

Guides

  We all have guides. And these guides go under a variety of names. Sometimes these guides are people - but sometimes the problem is that we don't look deeply into their personal philosophies to know if they are people we should follow. But there are other guides, for example the principles that come from experience or our reading. For me, words are often those guides. But words have to become more than... words, they have to have operational definitions as well, otherwise why bothering to think that they are guides? My guiding words are fruitful, meaning, purpose. These underscore all the other words. But, what about you - what (who) are your guides?

  Undoubtedly we all can define each of those words but my definitions may differ. Fruitful. This means that there is fruit that can be 'seen' from my words and actions. Obviously the goal is that the fruit be good and able to last. This, in my estimation, is not something we can do of and by ourselves. Scripture (Matthew 15:19, Proverbs 11:30, etc.) tells us that fruitfulness is a direct result of whatever controls our lives. Thus we need the Lord and His attributes which He promises to those who have faith in Him (Galatians 5:19-20, Colossians 1:10, etc.). When I look at my fruit I do see spoiled fruit or bruised fruit but I can also see when and how the Lord worked through me to produce good fruit. What do you see when you view your fruit? And is it pleasing?

  Meaning. This is a big word for me and is partnered with Purpose. If what I say and do has no meaning and little to no purpose... then why do/say it? I truly dislike irrelevancy and especially as it pertains to me and my behavior, never enjoy wasting my time and energy. If meaning and purpose have no value then it's time to change. The definition of those two words are highly related. Webster defines 'meaning' as: the end, purpose, or significance (of something). Purpose is defined: the reason for which something exists or is done, made, used... an intended or desired result; end; goal. My caveat on this is that the word can't be esoteric only... it has to have operational and practical visibility.

  Guides in my world of definitions are what the word implies... they are the standards by which I can judge what I'm doing and saying. They are the pillars on which I build my personal mindset, my philosophy of life and living. More important though is what the word says to you. How do you define the word - guides? And how do you 'use' them... do they fulfill the role you have designed for them? 
 

DESTINY!!!

  The word does deserve a !!! What do you believe about destiny? Is it by chance? by choice? How do you know if you are on your path to your destiny? Are there signs you are following? H-O-W do you KNOW??? And the answers to those questions lead you on your path to your destiny... or away from reaching your fulfillment. 

  What does it mean to you when you consider 'destiny'? Just a word with little or no relevance to your day-to-day living? Your impetus each day to direct your energies toward walking toward accomplishing this? Then again - what is 'destiny'? I'm not certain that I agree totally with Webster's definition: future destined for a person...; fate; fortune; lot; the predetermined or inevitable course of events; the ultimate power or agency that predetermines the course. Not! Where is individual choice, individual involvement in this? Nowhere! This places us in the position of recipients and robots with no responsibility or association. This is a definition for fatalists.

  My belief is that we are far more involved and engaged in attaining our destiny than mere 'beneficiaries'. Besides... what if the 'fates' determine a sad or substandard destiny - would you meekly accept this? I certainly hope not. Destiny is far too important to be trusted to unknown forces. And even if the destiny is a positive one, it's still up to you. You have to contend for your Destiny. It will always, always be your choice to pursue it or to let it pass you by. Simply because you or others believe you have a destiny (fill in the blank), it will never come to fruition if you do nothing. YOU have to walk in your destiny, no one can do it for you or make you.

  In my world of definitions, destiny is far more exciting, far more demanding, far more self-determined, far more of an adventure. And, it is a act that you decide on each day, each path, each step you take. It's intentional, it's open to change, it evolves, and it is proactive. The single variable is really you. Destiny isn't outside of you but it is your determination to follow your path, to make it yours. And if this doesn't excite you and fill you with joy... then you are not following your path to your destiny. 

Derailed in the midst of...

everyday living? In the midst of your journey? I can't think of anything more frustrating, though there are issues that are equally compelling (spelled: irritating). This is another one of those times that call for 'now what' questions. They nearly demand an answer and it will impact on how long the derailment will last. Unfortunately, many times we discover that derailments take longer to 'fix' than other problems we may face. And coupled that with the reality, that many times we aren't the ones who can fix the derailment, we need others - which leaves us subject to them and their expertise and efficiency.

 

  Derailments can be viewed as a (fill in the blank), or that time when everything seems wrong and all seemed relatively meaningless or hopeless... or at least halted for the moment. That's what derailments do - they stop you. Minimally, it is always a distraction, an interruption. And now... you need to resolve your derailment recognizing that it may not be in your hands. Back to the initial question - what do YOU do now?

  The answer to that question may be... nothing. There's nothing you can do because you aren't the one who can fix the derailment. So, in this case, let's assume that this is your condition. What will you do in your midst of waiting? Many people simply grumble about being in this predicament. Others will attempt to simply do the 'waiting game' and ... wait. There are those who will look at the situation and try and learn from it so that it won't be repeated in the future. That stance, to me, is far more proactive.

  The last group are those who fill their waiting time but not simply with games or idle conversation but who, like the proactive types, will spend their waiting time learning, discovering other 'things'. These really are ideal times to ponder and consider who you are on this particular road you're on. To make decisions relevant to who you are and what you do. Perhaps it's a time for 'what if' thinking (the area of consideration can be personal or job related).

  If you find yourself in a derailment... use the time wisely (your definition) to consider: is this the right road for you, and if not, what is? Are you continuing to learn, to grow, to become the best you possible? Ask yourself your questions. Once the derailment is fixed, regardless of how long it takes, will you want to continue on the road you're on?

It's always in the details...

  I can't think of a single thing we do that the 'details' don't impact, one could argue that they control. What do you think? Every time that an action appears to be appropriate and something goes amiss, I've learned to backtrack the details to discover if that's where I missed a step, or added a conflicting step, etc. And you know... it IS the details that caused the problem. I also have realized that in most cases, if I return to the point where I went astray, I can resolve and redeem the forward movement.

  Soooo... the question always comes to: is there something in your life that is requiring you to look into the details to discover what your problem is? You're not in the blame game, are you? Blaming (fill in the blank) never gets us to resolution, actually it delays it. The point isn't who is to blame, the point is how to resolve whatever will restart the forward motion to accomplishing the goal. After resolution you can always indicate what caused the problem and discover, develop, share what would have been a better action.

 Tough question - are you the problem because you don't give 'details' their due? And if so, do you know why? Are you following based in the direction or do you try to take the 'easy' way out or follow your own desires. I'm trying hard not to place blame or dictate what you should be doing, but if you don't consider the details of whatever you are undertaking have you met with success? If so, ignore me. If not, then start paying heed to the details to make certain they belong, are adhered to, and be open to change.

  To say that it's always in the details is to underestimate how much they influence the eventual outcome. Why am I harping on this? Because, it's very frustrating to be part of an enterprise and discover, typically too late, that others who are also involved have not thought out the potential ramifications from the details they are in charge of. Remember the old adage that the war was lost for want of a nail. It can be that catastrophic or as 'simple' as a waste of time, resources, energy, and the goal.

Look where you're going!!!

  Look out! Look where you’re headed! How often have we heard this warning? And how often have we heeded it? And when we haven’t, how often have we stubbed our toe or fallen? Warnings should do exactly what they’re intended to accomplish – to alert us to what lies ahead and help us to concentrate on the road we’re on at the moment. And a warning, while sounding very demanding, has only the power to make us follow it to the extent that we allow. 

  Perhaps you don’t realize or appreciate the degree of control (power) you have over your own life, over the direction you are headed. While you may feel ‘controlled’ rather than controlling ultimately you still have the decision and control over your attitude and over your willingness to accept the control. But is your analysis accurate over the amount of control you can exercise… especially over you and your actions? It always is up to us to heed, or not, the warning to look where you’re going.  

  Perhaps the problem causing the warning isn’t as dire as it sounds, maybe it is more so. Question is – if you don’t look, what are you allowing to happen – do you want to reap from not even taking the time to see the relevance of the warning? Heeding becomes an entirely different decision? Ignoring kinda smacks of pride. And everyone knows what comes next.  

  Granted that a warning to you may not be significant to me but you can’t dismiss the fact that someone sounded the alarm. That someone was concerned enough to want to spare you the problem of a fall or something worse. If you were in the position, would you sound an alarm? This is another layer to the warning issue. Would you be willing to call out the ‘look out’ realizing that it may not be a danger to someone or that it may not be favorably accepted?  

  In my experience, whether the alarm is critical or merely an alert to potential problems, I will take the time to stop my progress and look. Looking costs me nothing and may save me from future problems. It does seem a bit of cutting off the nose to spite the face to not look.

 

Making the world a better place…

  Actually that’s what it’s all about. We all have the potentiality to make the world a better place. It is up to us to walk in this. But first you have to believe you can make the world a better place and then you have to seize your moment to act on your part when it presents itself.

  We all have a part, a place but we have to believe this. Without a belief that we can make a difference, we will never act on our possibility. It always is our acceptance or rejection that will determine the possibility of making a difference. Then again… maybe all this begins with a definition of ‘making the world a better place’.

  The obvious place to start with a definition is to consider and analyze the world we live in. What are the issues your world is facing, or are they ignoring? What is available to resolve them? What kind of difference could you make in this? Remember that not every issue is one you should place your time and energy on – but what one(s) are yours?

  Next we need to be aware of our style of making… better place. If we have an altruistic approach to making...better place then our definition will tend to exemplify this. The problem comes when our style of behavior isn’t appreciated or even wanted. Now we have to contend with a new set of dynamics. The problem is that either a like or dislike reaction can spark a despotic behavior which is totally counter-productive. What we need to do is look at our motives – why are we doing what we do.

  And these are only some of the obvious issues we deal with in determining HOW we can go about making the world a better place. Desire is important as is ability but entry into being able to impact is probably the most important issue to resolve. You can have all the desire… do you have the entry? You can have enormous ability… do you have the entry? And if you don’t have entry – what can, or will, you do?

  However, in the midst of all this is the knowing that in small ways and more obvious ones, each of us has the option to make a difference in our world. We choose to make our world better or we walk away in an attempt at isolation because we can't plead ignorance.
 

Grudges and Forgiveness ...

  Do you hold grudges? I thought that I didn't until an incident occurred and I had to reexamine exactly what I did, not just believe, but did. I think I always believed in forgiveness because I tended to find myself in need of it quite often. But what about you? Are you needing to seek forgiveness for something you did or didn't do but you don't know how to go about it? Actually it's quite simple - you go to the person you injured and you say - I apologize, please forgive me. At that point 'the ball is in their court' but you have done what you need to do. Yes? But if your behavior doesn't demonstrate a change then have you really repented or simply gone through the motions?

  But what about when you need to forgive someone? Whether or not they ask for your forgiveness, are you quick to grant it and then offer the grace not to hold it against them? No retribution? No quid pro quo? No grudge? And there my friend is the rub. My question is - if you have forgiven someone can you hold a grudge? Yes I know we do but do we have 'the right' to? I'm afraid we don't. We need to be able to walk in forgiveness toward those we believe have wronged us. While we may not move quickly into trust toward them, we do need to display behavior that doesn't punish. And as much as we may not want to admit it.... a grudge is punishment. Question: who is punished?

  Let me ask you a different question... if you are a grudge-holder, what are the benefits? What do you get from holding a grudge? And is the grudge recipient even aware that you hold a grudge? Listen to the words commonly associated with 'grudge' - carry, hold. Both of those words imply that you end up using energy in order to accomplish this. Thus, you hostage yourself to your grudge(s). So..... why hold a grudge? Isn't that just extra baggage you have to carry? And if the other person really was sorry, by holding the grudge do you cut off your nose to spite your face by not associating with them?

  A grudge does impact your journey... it will affect your thinking and thus your behavior. It can be quite insidious. BUT, you can choose to reject grudges and yes I know that's far more difficult to achieve. I think my behavior was to simply not place myself in a position to be in contact with the grudgee. But in this I may also have denied myself a blessing. Yet, I did not perceive myself as holding a grudge but ignoring is not walking in forgiveness and that is the goal. As Christians we have no alternative except to forgive, whether or not the person requests it, but it is our decision to walk with grudge(s). I found myself amazed at the freedom I felt when I did release the grudge. Freedom is worth the price... bondage - I don't think so.

Born to grow...

  I admit that I talk a great deal about finding yourself, discovering who you are and where you're going and why but this is never an instantaneous discovery and is always never ending. And there is no magic wand to wave that will grant you this information. You have to decide that you are important enough to discover you. Without knowing who and why you will only repeat behavior that is or can be unproductive or even harmful. And one of the most important learnings and what we don't always recognize is that we are born to grow.

  How you define 'born to grow' has a tremendous influence on what you will find; actually whether or not you will even engage in your own growing or your awareness of your growth. Too often we put the eternal, the essential growth to a 'later' category. To be all that you can be is a partnership. And you have to be an active participant in this partnership. The Father is ready and willing to join you in your quest but He won't do it to you. Your questions are: do you want to grow? And if so, what are you willing to do to accomplish this? And if not - are you willing to live with uncertainty?

  I suspect that in nearly every entry I write I am, in some way, attempting to lure you into both a closer walk with the Lord and a deeper understanding of who you are and all of the potentialities that are part and parcel of you. Again, this is not a 'once and done' activity, you will be involved in this process your entire life. Even the word, grow, implies this ongoing reality. To me it is a continual adventure of discovery - of me, of the Lord, of others, of... and by now it should be very apparent that I dearly love adventures and discovering.

 Enjoy the journey because finding yourself will take time. Impatience on your part won't speed the process any and may increase the time it takes to find who you are and where you're going, how you're going to get there and who may be on your journey with you. Besides... if you start this journey with an open and positive mind then you will find all sorts of discoveries and learnings as you travel.

Layers

  It seems that 'everything' has layers. This is neither 'good' or 'bad' it is a given. Example: in school first you learn 2+2=4, and as foundation then you graduate to multiplication and division, and then on to algebra and trig, etc. You can catch my point - that everything really is a building block for the next stage, the next phase of growth. And, I tend to believe that it is sequential. The math example: you certainly wouldn't be expecting someone in the 3rd grade to be able to understand differential calculus because the foundation hasn't been built yet.

  There is a scripture in Isaiah (28) that speaks to this. Beginning in verse 9: "Whom will he teach knowledge? And whom will he make to understand...For precept must be upon precept...Line upon line." Personally I've always been intrigued with those verses but I also recognize their relevance and applicability. It's how we learn. It's how we apply what we learn. As one level, layer or plateau is understood, we test it out and as it stands the test we begin to rely on it. We use the level as a basis to grow and build upon. But everything begins with the foundation... which must be firm and understood.

  From that basis I formed my own belief that we never stop learning - we can stop ourselves from growing and we can attempt to ignore our new learnings and discoveries but that is counter productive. As we apply precept upon precept and line upon line we build our own frame of reference, our philosophical foundation. We too are layered. The problem can be when we begin to believe that the layers no longer seem relevant. Before eliminating them, we really should determine if they still have value and in what context. We all tend to throw the baby out with the bathwater... and then too often we eventually retrace our steps.

  Layers, plateaus, line upon line are all meant for us to experience a consistent and congruous growth. The fact that these exist tells us that we have time to absorb the learnings and apply them - to 'know' them without rushing. It really is important to focus on what's being taught in our now that we can build on and use. My advice has always been to enjoy what you are learning now, regardless of the difficulty, because it is part of your structure. What you choose to build, those learnings you retain and those you choose to disavow are your decision. Do choose wisely.

Saying good bye

  When departing from someone or something... how do you say good bye? And what do you mean when you say ... 'good bye'? Does it mean - The End? Does it mean a parting for awhile? How do you feel when you say those two words? Relieved? Sad? Both? And how do you feel when you hear them? Our reaction to hearing or saying these words says a great deal about how we look at endings and at change. Once heard what do you do next? Walk away? Look around a bit baffled?

  The context here is more of the long term separation 'good bye' then simply saying 'ta' because you'll soon be seeing them. This good bye could be... forever, though you may still keep in some kind of contact with them. What are your feelings and thoughts and how do you say this 'good bye'? I have found that many times I am a tad surprised because what I thought was only a short separation became a long term one. And I do find it difficult maintaining long distance relationships. It's difficult keeping someone apprised of what's happening in your life just as it is for the other person to keep you involved.

  Regardless, saying the more permanent 'good bye' can be an emotional wrench once we accept the finality. It still may be the best (?) for all concerned even if we do have issues with the reality. Sometimes holding on when you know that 'it's over' is far more difficult to handle once the 'over' is finally accepted. Regardless of the 'type' of good bye, there are emotional issues we have to confront as well as the other attendant issues such as intellectual - if they are the prime person you go to with your wonderings. However... it is our emotions that tend to be the most difficult to resolve.

  IF we can view a 'good bye' as a new 'Hello' - then we have a new mindset that is definitely more proactive. And while it isn't always easy to accomplish, once we have accepted the good bye we should be aware of the new hello's that can emerge. It's just like a 'no' may become a better 'yes' - it is all about our view, our attitude, and how we face and deal with those issues like good byes. A good bye can really be the beginning of a new adventure and that is not dismissing what has been. It's simply accepting the whole of what was but venturing into a new what may be.

Prove it!

  How do you hear those two words... as a challenge? As a disbelief in (fill in the blank)? What are your feelings that emerge - anger? Shock and surprise that you, your word is questioned? Did you make your comment that invoked those 2 words unthinking and now you need to provide the basis or source of what you said? An off handed remark? A foundational principle? But along with your reaction to hearing those words, you now need to make a reasoned response.

  No matter how those two words are said, they really are a challenge. Accept that. Perhaps the speaker really doesn't accept whatever you said or maybe they hold a contrary view. Whatever their position, their comment needs a response. Most people will start by giving their interpretation of  (fill in the blank) but my point would be... what needs proving? Is it you that's being put to the test or what you said or the foundation on what you said rests? Starting by defending may not be the best approach, especially if you hope to influence their thinking and subsequent involvement.

  I would recommend that you start by clarifying what it is they want proved. And the best way of doing that is to ask questions. If you defiantly respond and/or as a question you are likely not to get their true focus because now you've put them on the defensive. As much as possible try to give the impression that you are attempting to clarify but need more information from them as to what it is they don't agree with. In fact, you can give them suggestions - in the form of a question - as to what may be the basis of their disagreement. Escalating the emotional tension is not the most profitable way of reaching agreement.

  Finally you have to allow the other person their right to disagree and be able to acknowledge this so they know they are heard and valued. After that then seriously listen and ask questions where you need clarification. Who knows, they may have a 'better mousetrap' - keep an open mind. If, in the final analysis, your position has to be followed and accepted, then allowing the other person their opportunity to be heard may be the best way to help them to be involved.

  'Prove it!' can be spoken in a variety of ways and heard in a variety of ways and no commonality between them. Rather than assuming, use the scriptural suggestion - 'come let us reason together'.
 

Is it OK to have doubts?

  The short answer is - absolutely! What isn't OK is to try and deny that you have doubts... or that doubt isn't that important... or ignore the doubt. Doubt can be a part of resolving any issue. I find that doubt can 'stir the pot' but it isn't the pot nor is it the answer nor can it control - unless we let it.
Doubts are more of an analysis rather than a catastrophic rejection of the object/subject of the doubt. However, I admit that most people become engulfed by the doubt which then leads to further doubts without really resolving the initial one.

  The only real power doubt has occurs when we aren't confident of (fill in the blank). It may not be the object that is doubted but our belief or confidence in 'it'. Anything can be attacked by doubt but the real question is what do we do when doubt emerges? We may not be able to stop them from coming but we certainly can stop them from controlling. Let me ask a different question... have you/do you ever have doubts about those areas (fill in the blank) that you don't doubt? How did they move from a question to a point of confidence? My guess would be your experience.

  Those things that have given us a foundation of experience (both those that we believe and those things we don't believe) provide the strength of our stand. Simple example: I know that if I don't look both ways before entering an intersection that I have put myself in harm's way and could become involved in an accident. That knowledge came from a variety of sources - my parents instructions, witnessing someone who didn't do this, coming close myself to being in an accident, what happens when I do heed this warning - all of those experiences form my foundation of fact v. doubt.

  You can always choose not to follow your knowledge but you always reap the consequences of that act. Doubts may begin the process of understanding but it's up to us to act on the result. My advice is to never be fearful of doubt, never ignore, never underestimate. Always use the doubt to strength your convictions. Eventually you'll get to the place where that doubt won't exist. If you think about it for a moment you'll discover those areas that you no longer doubt....

Mistake!

  I've come to the conclusion that 'mistake' has subcategories. There are those mistakes that prove to be a complete surprise to you. There are mistakes that you really should have known better, and probably did, but went ahead anyway. Then there are the mistakes made by others but laid at our feet. There are mistakes that you really, really are sorry for but can only apologize. There are mistakes that were 'worth' the effort to try something new or different. I could probably continue but I think that I've made my point about the multitudinous aspects to the word - mistake.

  The only 'type' of mistake I truly dislike are the ones that cause hurt, pain, or anguish to someone else and there's little I can do to correct or mitigate against the ramification of what happened. Those are personally painful. My 'learning' is - would I do it again? Was the unforeseen result something I hadn't envisioned or simply bad planning on my part? My point is - on retrospect can we always see the mistake coming? Can we learn from what was or wasn't done? Will we? Another interesting by-product is that sometimes we can't, at the moment, see a different decision than the one we made but as time passes, we do see what might have been done. The focus shouldn't be on what was or wasn't done but on what we can learn so we don't repeat.

  Mistakes are a way of life and I defy you to show me people who don't make them. Those who learn from their mistakes won't make it a point of repetition. Like history, if we don't learn then we are doomed to repeat. But the underlying question is... how do you define 'mistake'? Webster says: "to be in error, a misunderstanding or misconception, and.. an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc." Truth be told, it's the 'etc.' that always gets us.

  From catastrophic to 'oh, oh', mistakes are part and parcel of our lives. Mistakes are givens. The only variable is how we react to and then respond to mistakes. We can fear making them and become paralyzed to act or we can choose to learn from them. Apologize, if necessary, learn from, move on - those are the proactive responses.

A more convenient time...

  Is this how we respond to the Lord? My answer would be a resounding - 'yes'. When we feel a stirring from Him then, sadly, we typically respond by saying that we will get back to Him ... later. He, on the other hand, is always ready, now. And to be honest, when we go to Him with our needs and requests, we do expect Him to be available and respond - now, not at a 'more convenient time'. We do operate on a double standard. I suspect we all put off reading from His word, praying, listening to Him, sharing Him with others, growing in who we are, etc. until a more convenient time. When does this 'convenient time' occur? Ever? Do we ever think about Who we are telling to wait on... us?

  Granted we all live lives that are cluttered with so many people, things, projects, opportunities, etc. and no, they aren't all bad, but when we put our time with the Lord into a 'later' proposition, then it is. Our problem is that whether or not we realize it, we need Him NOW - regardless of problems or the apparent lack of them. Do the people and things in your life take precedent over time with the Lord? If so... then... is that putting the Lord as a second class consideration in your life. I know that might sound harsh, but that doesn't make it less true. Think about it. How would you react if your family or best friend(s) continually told you that they'd get back to you later? Hurt? Frustrated? Angry?

  Thankfully how we might react to be relegated to 'a more convenient time' that might never come is not how the Lord reacts to us. Our coming to Him is too often based on what we need and what we want - our prayers are focused on changing the other people or things in our lives. There is little 'scheduled' time that's for just the Lord. When we do ask for ourselves is it the eternal things we seek to grow in or is it the things of the world? Personally I do not see how it's possible to live an abundant life if He is not intimately involved in my daily moments.

  When you are honest with yourself and really look at your own behavior, do you make time to grow in your walk with the Lord or do you relegate this part of your life to the 'convenient' status? Do you know why? I suspect most people are not trying to deliberately be uninterested or unwilling, so what is the 'cause' or our excuse? Only we can change our attitude and behavior. Only we can choose to make our time with the Lord a priority in our daily schedules.

YOUR 'rights'

  First: you do know that in exercising your rights there is a price - yes? There's also a cost when you don't exercise them as well. How and what do you do to reconcile these two? Can they ever be compatible? Can you ever exert your rights without trampling on the rights of others? Is there really such a thing as win-win? There is a great deal to consider in acting on your own rights but I suspect we rarely take the time to consider the ramification from our actions.

  However, if you don't exercise your rights do you give others the right to take yours away? Do know that you do have the right to exercise your rights... as long as you don't trample on others in the process. For me, one of the primary, overriding considerations is a quote by Burke: "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing." (Actually, Burke made a number of thought provoking statements.) This is the no compromise time. And no, this doesn't make every difference an issue of my rights (a good) v. your rights (evil). But it does provide a context.

  Part of my answer to those questions lies in the difference between need and want. If I'm exerting my rights based on something I need v. want then that produces an entirely different dynamic. However, the same issue of me v. them still can exist. Can we join to make it a concerted win for both of us? Obviously this depends on: the issue, the other person, the willingness of you and the other to 'compromise' - among other considerations. Do you want to produce a win-win or is the issue one of there really is only one answer?

  One point to ask yourself is... is exercising (fill in the blank) your right or your privilege? These are two totally different mindsets and you need to be clear about which one you are asserting. Paul's comments (1Corinthians 8:9; 10:23-24): "But beware lest somehow this liberty of yours become a stumbling block to those who are weak. ...  All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify. Let no one seek his own, but each one the other's well being."  With this mindset our rights won't be trampled on nor will we trample on others.
 

Priorities

  I know, I know. In some fashion I always seem to be talking about priorities directly, indirectly, by implication if not by intent. I probably always will. It's because we all function on our own frame of reference, our own predilections consciously and subconsciously. AND I think many of our 'mistakes' or mis-steps, our repetition of previous mistakes, being blindsided, etc. come from our lack of awareness and/or acknowledgement of our own priorities (and maybe... how they are received). But also remember that our successes, our growth, our becoming also rests on our frame of reference - our starting point. Other than not taking the time to know, there is nothing inherently 'bad' with priorities unless you attempt to force others to accept them.

  Simultaneously, if you act and react according to your priorities it stands to reason that others do the same - you should never be surprised at this reality though you may find yourself surprised at the expression. And though it may be hard to accept, your priorities may not be the same as someone else's - at least not their ranking. I suspect this is the source of problems of not understanding or surprise. Bottom line is that if you retain your right to your frame of reference, your priorities then you have to accord others the same right.

  Priorities move us, they form the foundation upon how we react. It also stands to reason that the higher the ranking of the underlying belief, the more entrenched it (and we) may become. All this is based on our understanding and appreciation of differences. Without our knowing why we hold a particular belief and where it falls on our intractable scale, the more we will find ourselves in the midst of misunderstandings and miscommunications. At the same time, our level of confidence in the ranking and the inclusion, the more we are able to understand why a different position may be held.

  Priorities, to me, are a 'good' because they not only let me know how I stand but where I stand. And seeing the reactions from others tells me their position in relation to mine. This is not a wrong/right issue, it's a point of understanding. We can always debate the issue, not attack the person. And as iron sharpens iron we may come to a deeper appreciation and understanding not only of the other person but our own frame of reference.