Dismissed

  "I know what you feel/think/etc." Quite honestly, I cringe when I hear those words. I try very hard not to use them, but I'm guilty too. There's no way to actually know what another person is feeling or thinking. However, I also realize it's an attempt to make them feel that they are not all alone, or to set up some kind of empathetic basis. Personally, I would prefer someone to say that they can appreciate how I might feel. That, for me, is a greater display of empathy than saying that they may know what I'm feeling or thinking.

  I know that someone saying those words is attempting to comfort, and initially that is the recipient's reaction. However, for me, somewhere in the middle of the sentence I'm suddenly feeling quite dismissed. It's as if what I'm feeling isn't all that significant. And yes, I realize that is not the intent. But that is what my reaction is. Not true for all? Possibly, but take a moment and consider how you feel when those words are used with you. Initially it is comforting and then it becomes disquieting. Do you know why?

  While another person may feel similarly to how you are responding, no one but you knows exactly how and why you feel or think the way you do. How you feel, think, respond is what makes each person the unique individual that they are. For me, when in sad or stressful situations, I don't want someone else to dismiss me with a, 'I know...'. They don't. They may have gone through the same or similar situation but not mine. Petty? Possibly.

  All of us want to feel that we are special and unique - whether or not we are willing to acknowledge it. To dismiss us as 'one of the group', that what we are currently experiencing is something that everyone does, is not necessarily helpful. It undoubtedly is true, just not always helpful. We need to maintain our uniqueness as well as our connectedness. Dismissing our feelings or thoughts as not particularly different from the masses is rarely positive.

...but, what do you think?

Perspective

  Where do you have your eyes? Are you looking forward? Or are you turning around and looking at where you've been? Or are you looking inward at something very personal? Or are you looking at nothing in particular? Perspective is extremely personal. No one can have precisely the same perspective as the next person because they haven't had the same experiences... even if that person is part of your immediate family. Perspective? One of the definitions that Webster uses is: 'the interrelation in which a subject or its parts are mentally viewed'. Which means???

  Simply, in my world of definitions, perspective is the method people use to understand, order, relate, etc. experiences, attitudes, etc. in their world. Not really sure how helpful my definition is. However, the point is that we all have our own. And it is useful for us especially in times of apparent contradictions. Our perspective gives us the means to control our situations, it gives us meaning. Back to my initial question - where do you have your eyes? Granted your perspective may be totally different from mine but do we have a way of accommodating both?

  In terms of just you in your world, are you looking backwards? Rearview mirror looking is helpful in looking at where you've been. This can give you valuable information about how far you've come. It is important. But while a look is good, even valuable, it's not what you need to focus on. If you do then you could miss the next turn (opportunity) or obstacle (threat) and not be headed in the direction you intend to pursue. But most important, do you understand your own perspective?

  Perspective, our frame of reference is what guides us in our understanding. This is why it is so important to know our own perspective. Without that understanding we have no guide, no order, no way to effectively interact in our world. That's why looking back in your rearview mirror provides you information. Our problem is to not live in our past (good and bad). We need to use it as our basis for growing and progressing. Then again... growing and progressing depends on your perspective.

... but, what do you think?

'I'... is our favorite topic of conversation

  I've either said this or implied it many times and whether we want to acknowledge it or not - I/me is our favorite topic of discussion, overt or unspecified. Before you get huffy, it isn't all that unusual... 'I' is what/who we know. We react to all the stimuli that we encounter from our frame of reference, our experience. How else could we react? The reason is understandable - we all need to make sense of  what is happening around us, even if we decide not to do anything with the information.

  If this sounds selfish, the focus on 'I', why? Isn't it 'better' to acknowledge this, at least to oneself, in order to realize? And in this acknowledgement isn't this placing the necessary 'restraint' in order to look out and realize others are doing the same thing and their seeing may not be our seeing? My point is that this is natural, the problem lies in only looking at life from your own perspective and obsessing on only what it is you need/want/expect/think. Like it or not, you don't live in a vacuum and your view may not be someone else's.

  Actually, I would argue that accepting your own 'perspective' gives the opportunity to view other's views in a nonthreatening context. I believe that 'problems' arise when we don't feel that our opinion is valued and heard. Sometimes the issue isn't as much having the prevailing opinion as it is having your opinion acknowledged. Selfish? No. I think it is an issue of being acknowledged and valued. I think that you can be obsessive about too little attention as you can by too much.

  Knowing that I, me is my favorite topic also allows me to order my world. To know and understand how various ideas, people, etc. relate and interrelate gives me the opportunity to give myself a consistency of behavior. As long as I realize and accept this and don't try to impose my system on others, then there is a coexistent reality with others. Also, this gives me the opportunity to learn new ideas and approaches without the 'fear' of having my particular viewpoint ridiculed. 'I' is what I know, and now I'm able to discover your 'I'.

...but, what do you think?

Waiting

  I HATE to wait - on anything, at any time! It might be part of my impatience package, but I must admit, waiting is my least favorite thing to do. Unfortunately this is rarely the same mindset of those causing others to wait. They 'operate' on a different perspective. While I think it is most disrespectful to others, this does not seem to be a universal definition. I think the reason I dislike waiting so much is that I no longer have the control (or joint control) in the situation - I have to wait for the missing part. Granted I could simply move on, but if the piece/part/person I'm waiting on is important to (whatever) then waiting really is my only option.

  Time seems to stand still when you're waiting. There's little to occupy you during the waiting time. If you could simply continue on then you no longer are waiting (by definition). See why I get so frustrated?! Plus, when it is a person I'm waiting for, they are saying to me loud and clear that I'm quite irrelevant or unimportant. That what they are currently doing is far more important to them than meeting me at the appointed time and place. Obviously this presupposes an agreement on time and place. And when they rush in but don't have what was expected that they would bring, then I am rushing... toward anger - which never helps because when it's family, you really can't express it.

  Now... if you are the person causing the others to wait - why? Why do you cause this situation? And if you say that the others can just continue until you come... when you are an integral part, they can't. Perhaps if I understood why it is that you are typically always late, the last to come then I'd be a bit more accepting. Maybe not, but at least I'd have an increased knowledge. The other interesting aspect is that rarely is there an apology by the late-ee of why they are late or even an explanation.

  Regardless, the problem is ultimately mine because I'm the one waiting. I'm the one who will need to develop coping mechanisms as long as I'm in relationship. My choice really comes down to my value on the relationship. Or in equation form: does my unhappiness/discomfort at being kept waiting equal, or less than, or more than the relationship? The possibility of changing the other person is fairly minimal so I need to look at my issues with... waiting.

...but, what do you think?

Lord...

  Do you know what it is, and subsequently means, to make someone 'lord'?  How do you ''make' someone Lord? Unfortunately, I think this too is a word that we use but don't define and assume that others have the same attitude and understanding. But do we? I checked Webster and discovered that the word is defined as: one having power or authority over others, a man of rank or high position, a ruler... to whom service and obedience are due. Those, to me, are totally inadequate definitions and have no spiritual components.

   When we say that Jesus is Lord, we make a statement on who He is and our relationship. This is true in any relationship especially when we 'raise' the status of someone or something to the position of Lord in our life. Realize that it is our choice, our determination to 'accept' that the other is our Lord. To me this means that fundamentally and foundationally I believe that this means love... not fear nor fear based. Without love and all that this word means, there is no you-lord relationship because if it isn't based in love, if it isn't choice then you will be looking for ways to escape, to avoid the person occupying that status.

  The 'rules' of the relationship are defined clearly. When you say that someone is Lord you are affirming your willing and willful stand with them and that the leadership is theirs. One of the scriptures I've always liked is 1 Corinthians 12:3 paraphrased, it states that you can't call Jesus Lord and deny him at the same time. Therefore, your Lord is your everything. And while that may sound dramatic it also is true. It is difficult to comprehend the completeness of the Lordship of Jesus, but it is the basis, the foundation of the relationship. It isn't arguable, it is an 'is'.

  In the final analysis, you either serve the Lord or you serve His adversary. Deciding who you will follow is not something to be entered into lightly - it has eternal significance. But this can't be left to chance or 'non' decision either. Who you follow, who you make as your lord is life affecting. And you do serve someone. Simply... you can choose to follow Jesus or, by definition, you follow Satan, it is always one or the other. And if you don't follow Jesus, whether you acknowledge it or not - you follow Satan. Eventually, at the end - ALL will confess Jesus is Lord (Philippians 2:9-11). Why would you not make that declaration now and be part of the Lord's family (Revelations 17:14)?

...but, what do you believe?

Temper

  Yes... I have one. It is basically under control but every once in a while it seems to sneak in and take the control. I remember that when I was a child I was always cautioned about not 'losing' my temper. Initially I thought that was a strange comment because why wouldn't you want to lose it? My temper only got me into trouble, never out of it so why would I want to retain it? Later I did understand the meaning of the phrase but it wasn't till years later that I would understand the purpose of it.

  As I said, I had a quick temper which I really wasn't all that unfond of, though the long lasting positive outcomes were rare. Years later I think I substituted sarcasm for temper and I was truly a past master in that realm - nothing to be proud of. But the quick temper can still flash today - which always surprises me. The reason for the flash of temper is myriad but sometimes I can't find the underlying cause. And not knowing the 'why' of anger is personally disturbing.

  Eventually I understood the purpose of not losing my temper. My mother always told me that if I lost my temper I would never win the argument and when I considered this I discovered she was right. It was at that 'enlightenment' that I vowed to myself to not lose my temper again. Never totally successful, yet it was my intent. In this process I discovered the 'not lose' purpose. When you don't control your temper, not lose, you do lose perspective and I found that was a higher reason then letting the emotion of losing your temper rule. Because when you lose your temper you give the control over to the other person. And losing control was never a positive outcome.

  That was the less than noble reason to not lose my temper. As I discovered, the path you find yourself on when you do lose your temper is one of anger which can lead to hate and that's a direction you don't want to pursue. The only way to not lose control is to not lose your temper but to control your temper - which is why you never want to lose it. To control you need to know yourself well enough to know when you seem to be venturing down a path that will only lead to eventual problems. To control you need to know your 'hot buttons', areas that will send you into the mode of protecting your viewpoint. It's important to know yourself well enough to know how to keep yourself from... losing your temper.

... but, what do you think?

In the end,

it all comes down to a cross, an empty cross. A victorious cross. Without the cross there is no sacrifice. Without a sacrifice there is no shedding of blood. Without the shedding of blood there is no remission. Without remission we remain in our lost state.

  What is even more incredible is that if you were the only person on earth, still the Father would have sent the Son to redeem you. And as difficult as that is to comprehend, it is still true - it is what happened and is happening today for those who accept the gift of redemption. Jesus loved the Father so much that He was willing and available to do what was asked, what was needed. And the Father and Son loved us so much that they were determined to bring us to a place where we could choose.

  Scripture says that without the shedding of blood there is no remission (Hebrews 9:22). And there had to be a sacrifice of a spotless lamb - Jesus. He came to establish a new covenant between God and man and His blood was the way, the cross was the method. Continuing in Hebrews 10:10 - "...we have been sanctified through the offering of the body of Jesus Christ once for all." All includes you and it includes me.

  Romans 5:8-9 tells us: "God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Much more than, having now been justified by His blood, we shall be saved from wrath through Him." (See also Romans 3:25-26). Everything was completed - we had a way to return to fellowship.  That's why He cried... "It is finished." He had completed His task. What do we need to do? Accept. It's so simple, yet so profound. Accept His sacrifice on the cross to redeem us from death and separation. "... the righteousness of God, through faith in Jesus Christ, to all and on all who believe..." (Romans 3:22)

  It is totally impossible to consider all the height and breadth of the cross in only 4 paragraphs. Why even attempt to? Because I believe it is critical that each of us sees the cross for what it is to and for us. It's where we nail our sins and receive our adoption. Without the cross and Jesus we would still be lost and wondering what to do. For we gentiles, we'd also not have any basis for relationship with the God of the universe. We'd not have a covenant. Thankfully, this is not our condition. We have a way. We have redemption and a new covenant established in Jesus. Is this necessary? Absolutely! He chose us in our state. But we can escape from this... what's stopping you from choosing? 

Signs and Times

  From the beginning of my Christian walk I have interested in, intrigued by end times - the time when Jesus comes back for His church. Though man continues to try and determine just when this will happen, the scriptures are clear: (Jesus speaking) "It is not for you to know times or seasons which the Father has put in His own authority." (Acts 1:7) From that comment one can easily deduce that this means the only one who knows when this will be is the Father, not even Jesus.

  However... this has never stopped man from speculating, nor writing countless books that purport to be able to know. Simply... we don't. We shouldn't be wasting our valuable time in these speculations. But... we are also warned to be aware of the times. Matthew 24, Jesus talks about the 'end of the age' and the signs. To be blind to the signs would be gross stupidity. Jesus says to be aware. It's when you get into the specifics of date and time that idle speculation is irrelevant.

  Perhaps simplistic, but I've always looked at two categories to give me information about the last days. One is prophecy. Have the prophecies for the first and second coming, indicated in the Old Testament been fulfilled and the second is the signs Jesus tells us will herald His second coming. In terms of the prophecies - my understanding is that all the authorities agree that all, not some, all the prophecies related to mankind's savior have been fulfilled. This means that we're in a kind of 'holding pattern' until the time of the gentiles is finished, which is coupled with God's desire that no man be left behind without the opportunity of hearing (Matthew 24:14). Modern technology is quickly bringing that obstacle to an end.

  The second category comes from Jesus' words starting with - "Take heed that no one deceives you..." and ends with - "Watch therefore, for you do not know what hour your Lord is coming."  (Matthew 24:4-42). In those verses He indicates 16 (my count) different signs of the last days, such as: you will hear of wars and rumors of wars, nation will rise against nation, lawlessness will abound, etc. We can see many of those signs today. Personally I believe we are in those days of which Jesus spoke. If you are a Christian you can look up because... "your redemption draws near." (Luke 21:28) If you aren't a Christian, you can still choose - today IS the day of salvation.

... but, what do you believe?

What if I'm right???

  The question really is… if you haven’t made Jesus Lord of your life, what if you’re wrong? You really can’t imagine how critical and defining your decision is. Because, it still is a decision when you choose to not accept His gift. Though I believe it’s never a one and done offer – He keeps the offer available to you until it is too late. I define ‘too late’ as the judgment seat. 

  What’s stopping you from making the decision to accept Jesus as Lord? Pride? Indecision? Not ‘logical’ in your thinking? An unwillingness to change? Perhaps it’s none of those but you aren’t convinced? But… are you doing anything about proving you are right? This is not a decision to be left to chance. There is no reason strong enough to stop you from making your decision.

  I would contend that we are in the last days and the return of The Soon Coming King, Jesus, is at our door. I also believe the evidence loudly proclaims only one choice – acceptance of Jesus as the one and only path to salvation and eternal life. Even if we had unlimited time before Jesus’ return, because we don’t know when our time is over, the time is always – now - and at that point we need to make a conscious decision.  

  There really is a place called heaven and a place called hell and you really will end up in one or the other… for all eternity. The arguments that a loving God wouldn’t consign someone to hell are specious and totally inaccurate. He doesn’t choose your final destination, you do. There are few ‘musts’ that He requires from us to spend eternity with Him, but how we respond to Jesus’ offer is the paramount one.

  The critical question is – you! Where will you be, what will you be doing on Judgment Day? Hebrews 9:27 tells us that “…it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment.” There will be a final reckoning… what will you do?  NOW is the time of salvation (2 Corinthians 6:2), the decision is yours – now. You are a spirit which means you won’t die. You will spend eternity in heaven or in hell. The ‘I’m a good person’ is not enough. What if I’m right??? 

… WHO will you choose to believe?

The third Person...

  We all understand who God is, and we all understand who Jesus is, acceptance in both cases is not the issue. But... the third person of the God Head, the Holy Spirit, is undoubtedly the least understood and the least appreciated. Yet His role in our lives is potentially unparalleled. Part of the problem may have been when His name was translated into English - initially He was referred to as the Holy Ghost. But in our world of definitions, 'ghost' takes on an eerie quality. I suspect that this incorrect translation has kept Him at arms length. 

  The Holy Spirit is as important as the Father and the Son, He is the third Person in the Trinity. And when you look at what He does, His role is so significant when we allow Him to do His work. How important is He? Listen to what Jesus said of Him and why we need Him. (Jesus speaking) "And I will ask the Father and He will give you another Comforter (Counselor, Helper, Intercessor, Advocate, Strengthener, Standby) that He may remain with you forever..." John 14:16 AMP. As you can see, His role in our lives has 7 dimensions: comforter, counselor, helper, intercessor, advocate, strengthener, standby. It's not that He is there to do our work, but He is there with us in our lives.

  When Jesus' work on the earth was finished, until His second coming, it was necessary for us to have a continuous guide, and the Holy Spirit was the person in the God head who was sent to help us. Notice Jesus aligns Himself with the Holy Spirit when He says, He (God) will give you another... Just like the Father and the Son, the Holy Spirit wants to be involved with all aspects in our lives, not just asked for help when we need Him.

  Obviously first, we need to establish a relationship with Him. Assuming that you have already accepted Jesus' gift of salvation and are now attempting to fulfill your part in the body of Christ, I believe that developing a relationship is as simple as asking for His help and then, though continuing to do what's at hand, being available to hear His response. The Holy Spirit was there from the beginning of Genesis and will be with us through the end of Revelations. Attempting to 'go it alone' and not develop a relationship with the One who is sent to assist us makes no sense.

...but, what do you believe?