AFRAID...

  What are you afraid of? What made or makes you afraid of (fill in the blank)? Why are you afraid? Can you do anything to deflect or eliminate the threat? Perhaps the important question(s) should be... what lessons have you learned from being afraid? Have those lessons made you stronger and feel less threatened? Does your 'afraid' cripple you? (You do appreciate that there is a difference between 'fear' and 'afraid' - yes? You can be afraid and it can lead you to fear but not necessarily. Fear is a far worse strait to be in because that does cripple.)

  I believe that the first question, when it comes to being afraid, is: can I do anything about the situation? Can I influence the decision in any way? However, I suspect that this isn't the first question that pops into one's mind. We seem to be a creation that fixates on 'fixing' whatever we see as a problem, whether or not we can, are equipped to, or should. Analysis always takes a back seat. But if the answer is 'no' to the fixing, then that's the end of it? Rarely. I don't believe any of us are particularly 'good' about accepting that there are some things we can't 'fix'. Most of us will try anyway. 

  If it is something we can't do anything about or with, how do we react? Flight? Submission? (No right/wrong answer - just the question. And yes, sometimes flight or submission is the only response.) However, when the time comes to accept that there is nothing we can do, how we react and respond in these situations tells a great deal about how we apply the lessons we learn about 'afraid'. The potency of the 'object' of our afraid may lead us to how to respond to this afraid.

  I'm not denigrating being afraid. It is an 'is', it happens. Sometimes it is a warning of problems that are coming. But who's in control should be the issue. We should never let being afraid escalate into fear and then let it control us... though we all do at times. I would hope that we would stop long enough to remember what we've learned when we met afraid. I do wonder about whether or not we transmit our afraid to others. This can either alert them to a potential problem or it can develop a fear in them. Ultimately, if we can't control the issue we can still control our response.

Practical

  Are you a 'practical' person? You don't spell practical, c-o-m-p-r-o-m-i-s-e, do you? They aren't the same thing and they produce two entirely different results. (And from experience... one of those path choices may not be all that it's cracked up to be.) Webster defines practical by itself which I find quite annoying - that doesn't tell one anything! However, when you consider the synonyms: judicious, sensible, pragmatic, functional, reasonable; then we begin to understand how that the word is defined operationally. And operational is the important issue. So, using the synonyms, do you consider that you are practical? And if not, why?

  As a adjective, 'practical' according to Webster means: 'concerned with experience or actual use; not theoretical; useful or general, adapted, etc." Again the issue is use. Often this behavior, attitude is dismissed and/or belittled as being plodding, lacking in creativity or spontaneity. 'Careful' might be a better description of practical - and careful and hesitant are not the same. However, the same attitude may be directed against 'careful' as it is toward 'practical'. Yet... in a crisis, who is the person that other's typically turn to?

   Practical is a quality to be encouraged and nurtured and it can easily co-exist with creative and spontaneous. It's again the issue of use. How do we define and display each of those words? Our answer, which may not be someone else's, will provide us a better picture of our operational uses. I believe that we should never be dismissive of any of the manifestations of 'practical' though our end result may not be utilizing them, they may simply be a counterpoint to the eventual decision. The point should be the goal - what is our desired result.

  Obviously, in my world of applied definitions, the point should be how we see the word used operationally. Do we manifest our 'practical' in a way that can be seen in the best light? Do we offer our responses that invite questions that lead to resolution? Isn't the point... resolution? If it is then we need to present 'practical' as well as other options. In the final analysis practical is not a negative and could be the path to the best decision.

What happens next?

  The obvious response is - what do you want to happen? You accepted Jesus as your Lord. Typically this is accompanied with a great sense of joy and a 'wanting to do something' - however you define 'something'. This generally means that you really don't know what you want to do nor how to go about discovering your 'something'. Not unusual. Perhaps a tad frustrating since there is all that pent up emotion that wants expressing. I do think that what you do about this momentous new you is critically important. I believe there are two critical 'next' that you need to do: 1- begin reading scripture to understand who you are. The predominant suggestion is that you start with the New Testament. Most would suggest starting in John but if you're interest is learning who you now are, then start with Ephesians. 2- begin attending a Bible believing church and fellowship with other like-minded people.

  Believe it or not, the first thing you need to do is to start understanding  (before acting) who you are (Ephesians gives a terrific picture if you put your name every place that it says in Him, in Christ). If you don't know what it means to be a new person in Christ, how can you share what happened to you with others and why you made the decision you did? Not trying to rain on your joy and happiness, simply urging you that there is soooo much more that happens to and for you after you are saved/born again. And you need to recognize that you are a baby Christian - which is not a slur or put down. You need to begin to grow and you'll never outgrow this adventure.

  You may need assistance from a more mature Christian. Perhaps I should define (in my world of definitions) 'mature'... A mature Christian knows beyond the starting point of being saved that this means they have a great deal to discover and that Scripture is a starting point. While this may sound obvious, too often the church wants to share you as much as you want to share but they don't take the time to assist you in first being grounded before they increase their expectations from you. No blame is being attached, but I do think any new Christian needs time to begin their new walk and who they are... becoming.

  There really isn't any shortcut to growing. Just like in school, we all learn in our own style and time and seem to be quicker with some areas than others. As a kind of 'jump start', look at 1Corinthians, especially 12:14-14:40 as a guide and standard. 'Next' is always personal. But there should always be a next so that we become all that the Lord has intended for us to be, and so that we can walk in the abundance that is our inheritance.

Condemnation

  Who and what is the source when we feel condemnation? And... exactly what IS condemnation? I suspect we all think we know what it is... do we? Webster says that it is primarily an act that we express toward someone or something. Most synonyms use the word 'condemn' in them which is not helpful for understanding. We know what it is we 'do' when we are doing the condemning - expressing strong disapproval of (fill in the blank). But what is the basis for the condemning? What causes it? Condemn is an action word expressing strong disapproval. But isn't there far more?

   To 'combat' the affects of expressions of condemnation toward me, the scripture that gives me hope is Romans 8:1 "There is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus." Wow! No, None, Not. Of course this is not a blanket statement, God would never sanction sin. So, when you feel condemned, where is this coming from? You can't say God because He makes a way for us to return to fellowship when we do or say something that is sinful. (1John 1:9). Besides I believe His focus is condemning the behavior. Is this a case of self-condemnation? If so, what are you doing to make amends? And equally important, are you forgiving yourself and changing how you respond? What IS your (new) behavior to change your condition? It can't be only words.

  Probably the hardest, most painful time is when the condemnation is expressed by others, especially significant others. How do we react? What do we do? Obviously the point is who is expressing it and whether or not we feel the condemnation is justified. Regardless, I suspect we can never simply ignore it - in some way condemnation requires a response. The extent and 'depth' of the condemning is also an issue. Sometimes in the face of it, justified or not, we feel completely helpless.

    For a moment, consider the opposite of condemnation: approval, endorsement... acquittal, pardon, release. Perhaps it is the last 3 antonyms that become the focus of our change. We need to feel, to know, to believe that we can change, we can improve. If the condemnation is unjustified, many times our only alternative is to simply live with it and let time disprove the accusation. The most important lesson to be learned is to not let this cripple or damn us in our own thinking that there is no hope. When it is our fault then we can work to overcome. When it isn't, then we can stand. And never forget that we have a forgiving Father God who is always with us.

'Small stuff'...

  Years ago a friend gave me a book called: "God is in the small stuff... and it all matters" (highly recommend). Love the title but love the thought more. And... it's true. There is no insignificant 'stuff' with God because He is interested and concerned about everything that impacts and influences us. What a terrific lesson to learn (and retain). Why would the God of the Universe be interested or even care about our individual 'small stuff'? I'm beginning to think that it's because He care so deeply for us that even when we relegate the (fill in the blank) to small stuff status, He will take the time to be involved in our small stuffs.

  I also believe that since He will involve Himself in our 'lesser' concerns that this gives us an insight into the 'Who' of God. We always have the opportunity to see His hand work when the issue is a major one, however to believe that He would leave us to our own devices in other areas without showing an interest belies Who He says and demonstrates He is. For me, I've learned that when I don't see the hand of God in a situation I may be looking in the 'wrong' direction.

  The more one considers this thought the more we realize that we are the ones that don't involve the Lord in our small stuffs - He never eliminates Himself. This can also lead us into a consideration of what it is we value. If we don't 'value' our small stuffs then we probably won't even consider asking the Lord what to do, when to do it, how to do it, etc. This really is folly on our part because what we don't always realize is the extent to which small stuffs are active and take up the vast majority of the times of our lives.

  I've also learned that our 'small stuffs' are far more significant than we typically realize. These influence us far more than we give them credit. Small stuff is really defined individually. But one of my lessons, discoveries is seeing God in the small stuff. And focusing on why He would/does care is a waste of time and energy. He does care and He is involved ... to the degree that we let Him. Sounds silly doesn't it - our permission for God to be God. But it's true. He can only be as much, as big as He is to the degree that we permit. It's not that our 'permission' dismisses who and what God is and does, He is always all that He is - we just don't participate in this abundance. (Ever consider this?)

Sugar coating

  "A spoonful of sugar" may make the medicine go down but sugar coating does nothing to disguise anything. I've discovered that I do not do sugar coating (which will be no surprise to my friends). I do believe I'm a good encourager and not bad at cheerleading, but sugar coating is not an attribute, if you can actually consider it as an attribute. What it ends up doing is really making a liar out of you when the truth becomes apparent. Minimally it will make you appear silly or (worse) stupid.

  I remember, growing up, that one of the phrases I heard often was that if I didn't have anything nice to say about some one/thing then I shouldn't say anything. And... 'nice' was not defined as lying or skirting the truth. Unless. If you were asked then you needed to be truthful and 'qualify' what you said by 'this is my opinion'. But sugar coating - never! However... if you are a sugar coater, do you know why? Is it that you don't believe the other person is strong or brave enough to handle the truth? Are you protecting yourself from a possible negative reaction to what you say? Do you sugar coat yourself!? (This is often referred to as having a 'blind eye' to ... fill in the blank.)

  In the final analysis, what does sugar coating accomplish? Perhaps it delays the truth becoming apparent or removing you as the bearer - but what about the consequences of this act? If you are discovered as obfuscating or being disingenuous what will be your reputation now? There are heavy prices to pay for that momentary 'escape'. And before you excuse yourself by saying that you are not lying or being disingenuous, you are merely making the truth more palatable... really!?

  I do recommend you reconsider your position on sugar coating. The results of your behavior may not be immediately seen but I do think you will reap what you sowed. Remember the last time you were sugar coated by someone else... what were your feelings, regardless if you saw through them or it was discovered later? Were you angered by the deception? Irritated? Or did you vow never to ask that person again? It will impact the relationship when sugar coating is discovered... and it is always eventually seen, it always does.

How.

  There's a speech given by Job (26:1-4) that should provide us all with a basis to rethink and judge what and how and why we choose what we say: "How have you helped him who is without power? How have you saved the arm that has no strength? How have you counseled one who has no wisdom? And how have you declared sound advice to many? To whom have you uttered words? And whose spirit came from you?" (NKJV, italics mine) All legitimate questions. And ones we need to seriously consider, especially if we (or others) set up ourselves as the advice-giver. How.

  Typically 'how' questions make us a bit uneasy basically because they can come very close to home. We do and say things so unthinkingly at times; without consideration of the ripples from our words, advice and/or behavior. In my world of words and definitions, 'how' is the mate to 'why'. Why is our motivation, the frame of reference from which we act and react and 'how' is the method we use to express our why. Are you aware of your 'how's'? Obviously we use a variety of them to express our whys. But do we take the time, in our reflective times, to consider our 'how's'? My guess would be no. Since our how's are reflective of our why's - we need to be intentional and not unthinkingly.

  If you think I'm beating a dead horse... I'm not. The scripture that tells us that we will be held accountable for every idle word we speak should be a wake-up call! Jesus speaking: "But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they will give account of it in the day of judgment. For by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned." (Matthew 12:36-37). I don't know about you but once I read and understood what was being said I've tried to be more alert to the idle words I speak - and that is my lesson.

  How we speak lets everyone know whether or not we are attempting to provide 'good conversation' or information or whether we simply enjoy the sound of our own voice. Harsh? I don't think so. If more of us would be conscious of how we say what we say then I believe there would be fewer mix messages. If communication is our goal then 'how' takes on greater significance. Then again... it depends on your definition of words in your world.

Important to You

  What's important to you? And by 'important' I mean those people, things that are critical to you and your quality of life. First, look at your list (don't do this in your head! take a moment and list up to ten items so you can see... but don't force the ten if you have only 4, it's your 4). Are there more people or things (activity is defined as a thing - thing isn't defined other than non-people)? That is not meant as a sly way of telling you what you should value - there really is no right or wrong list... it's your list. So what's there?

  Surprised? Or does the list represent what you expected? Now the more sneaky part: first look at your schedule - do you spend your time on those people and things you've indicated are important? Or do you find other items in your schedule that aren't included in your list. The point is - if you don't include these 'other' then you aren't being honest with yourself. This is simply an activity that helps you look at what you say and what you actually do. Sometimes the items on one's list are a wish, or a 'later' rather than a now.

  Now take a moment and look at your bank statement for the previous month. What did you spend your money on? And trust me, what you spend your money on is definitely important to you. Again, are you surprised? Does this make you re-evaluate what it is that you actually are spending your money on or does it reinforce? Perhaps it adds to your list? The obvious, non-evaluative point is that where and how you spend your money does reflect what's important and/or what needs to be included in your 'Important'.

  If you read this as a 'spank' - not my intent. I simply was assisting you look at your reality of 'important' not just your thought-life important. They may be related... then again, what you think may have no evidence in reality. This may change your 'Important' list to a more representative one. Or it may inspire you to rethink what you do think and to evaluate what it is you want to see in your life. Obviously there is no 'right'/'wrong' - it simply is a way to see yourself more accurately and to change what you can and want or to recognize that 'later' is more valid in your thought life.

Attitude of Gratitude

  I've written about attitude(s) in nearly every post in some fashion. And, I've written about gratitude multiple times in various contexts. Combining the two words is underscoring the import and impact of both and how they complement each other. Webster defines 'gratitude' as: "...the quality or feeling of being grateful or thankful" and uses the following synonyms: acknowledgement, recognition, obligation, response... 'Obligation'! Gratitude's expression is an obligation? Absolutely! The obligation is not a quid pro quo, but the expression is mandatory... otherwise how would you or anyone know you were grateful?
 
  The point is that gratitude is an expression, an acknowledgment of what has happened, who caused it, and your feelings. Thus the question - do you feel you display an attitude of gratitude? Do not look at your expression as a 'payback' to what the Lord has done, because there's no way we can repay Him for all that He is and does in our lives. However, we need to demonstrate our feelings of what He does on our behalf and what this invokes in us... our feelings. Gratitude may be an act, but it is also a 'feeling' and this is always manifested in some fashion. Is your gratitude visible? What is your expression? How do you know what you are 'saying' by your behavior?

  The importance is the expression, not following any formula to express. How one person expresses gratitude may not be how you would. You need to be able to express according to you. This is also a witness to others of how the Lord has impacted your life. Though I really dislike using a word to define the word, with gratitude I understand.  We have difficulty defining gratitude because it is a feeling that causes us to want to express it (my diagnosis).
 
  We have a similar problem with attitude: "...the way a person views something or tends to behave toward it, often in an evaluative way", according to Webster. The synonyms: perspective, inclination, disposition. Again, our attitude(s) are ours and may not totally mesh with someone else. The point is that attitudes also express themselves... even if you don't say a word.

  Personally, I believe we need to revisit our attitudes on a regular basis to determine: 1- the best method of expression, especially if we want to convince someone else. and 2- to discover if they are still valid. Do we really still believe what we say we do? And in this context... what is our attitude about gratitude?

Contend

  25+ years ago my Pastor, Tim, preached a sermon about contending for one's ministry, one's calling. In all the years since, this message has stayed with me. Though I can't tell you precisely what he said, I can tell you the sense of how it profoundly impacted me. Now couple that with a short story by Henry James that talks about a chap who spent his whole life waiting for God to act in his life. Sadly, he never saw what the Lord had prepared for him. To me, this is where 'contend' fits in. If we don't actively involve ourselves, first, in finding what the Lord has prepared then we will never enjoy the fruitfulness or fullness that walking in our call provides.

  I decided to discover how Webster defined contend: "...to struggle in opposition, to strive". Some of the synonyms are: withstand, grapple, assert, maintain. I could go on but the point is made - contend is not a passive and inactive word. The picture I always see in my mind is of a warrior, one who has put on the whole armor of God (Ephesians 6:10-18) and is ready for any signs leading to engaging the 'enemy'. To paint the picture a bit clearer... the battle is not with others, or God; the battle is with those distractions and 'forces' (2 Corinthians 10:3-5) and yes, sometimes that is ourselves when our eyes are only on us.

  We are told in the New Testament that we are the called, that we are His workmanship, etc. but that doesn't mean that we will have everything handed to us on a silver platter or that we will never have to struggle. A simple consideration of life should disabuse us of this. Life is all it's cracked up to be but this doesn't mean that we simply sit back and everything will be easy and handed to us - however it does mean that we have the Lord on our side to work with us  so that we can be fruitful and live an abundant life.

  At times contending is arduous work. Sometimes we may face rejection or set backs, but we will also enjoy seeing the Lord's hand work. I know this may sound strange but 'contending' is really a privilege because it places who we are and what we do firmly in God's hand. Presumptuous? No, I don't think so. As long as we are doing all we know in order to be the best us each day, as long as we stand on the word of the Lord then we are doing our part in contending. No, that isn't simple or easy... but it is worth it. Granted... it does depend on what is important to us. For me, I'm not the staid, impassionate type and I sometimes do tend to venture where even angels stop but the mindset of the eternal and essential as the motivation in life spurs me on. Contending is a lifestyle. You?