Turn around

This is an important question... do You believe that if you are on a dead-ended path or an ill thought out decision, that you can't turn around? Or can you? Are you of the persuasion that you made your own bed and now you have to sleep in it? Or... that you don't need to compound the problem that you can admit the need for a different (fill in the blank)? Your answer is critical and has far reaching implications for who you are and the life you lead.

I am not implying that you aren't responsible for the results of your words and action - you always are. Nor am I advising giving up before necessary (reap if you faint not thinking). Nor suggesting taking the easiest path... but I have never been an advocate of compounding the situation. What is so terrible that you would continue on what is a destructive path rather than acknowledging your mistake and changing? If it's your ego... then that's a heavy price to pay for it.

If turning around is based in unconfessed sin, then we have an entirely different issue. You can't turn around if you are still under the cloud of sin or acting sinfully. You need to turn to the Lord and confess first. Get it out in the light and become righteous again. You can. Never forget 1John 1:9 - this is a restoration verse. Associated with this though is the mindset to depart from unrighteousness and to put these temptations as far from you as possible. But... to act as a conqueror (Romans 8:37) when faced by them. Don't ignore them because they will continue to tempt you - face them head on knowing you have One with you who will aid in your success.

You really do have all the equipping, the defenses necessary to live a life that can adjust to 'problems'. In the midst of the agony, though we don't always act with the greatest amount of faith and confidence, purpose to act. Because, we can boast in Him whose grace is sufficient. Bottom line is that when faced with difficulties, we can turn around and meet head on whatever is attempting to defeat us. Turning around can be as simple as determining that the current path does not provide the way to completion.   

Reluctant Cynic?

Are you? Life experiences seem to force you into a cynical attitude? Should you be? Can/Do you want to break this 'expectation' that leads to cynicism? Let's first consider definitions - does the following describe you? Dictionary definition: "One who believes that human conduct is motivated wholly by self interest." Another definition states it only slightly differently: "A person who has negative opinions about other people and about the things people do; especially a person who believes that people are selfish and are only interested in helping themselves." 

Now, with those definitions in mind, is this your definition? Are you therefore, a full blown cynic or are you reluctantly cynical? Or do you define your behavior as 'relative' - it depends on the other person or situation? Regardless, reluctant or not... do you define yourself as a cynic? Do you know why? I don't believe we are born cynical but that how we interpret our life experiences 'mold' us into cynics. I also believe that unless one acknowledges one's own tendency toward cynicism, you can't change your mindset. 

The second issue is whether or not you want to change your perspective. Many people are quite comfortable being cynics because this can now explain and confirm how they see what they see. Though how they can 'explain away' those evidences that contradict this stance is mystifying. Accepting the cynical stand also means that they keep distance between themselves and the people who inhabit their world. The interactions are superficial at best. Sadly, their ability to affect change or improve the situation is typically not accepted because they aren't involved.

There is a kind of 'safety' in being a cynic because you are removed from interactions thus allowing you to not be affected. But, are you truly removed? If so than this is a lonely existence. Face it - cynicism is a wall, a defense so that you won't get hurt. But there are never highs or lows... or if there are, they are ignored because they don't 'fit' the context of cynicism. Life is not to be avoided. You have a wonderful opportunity to make a difference in your world. No, not everyone will greet you with open arms... then again, they won't be able to ignore you either.

Problem solver or Problem creator?

Which 'condition' more clearly defines you? Or would you contend that it depends on the circumstances? But being brutally honest... which is more clearly your typical MO? One little hint is, if you make mountains out of molehills then you are a problem creator. It really is quite simple to be a problem creator - think small. Also, don't make plans because serendipitous is such a lovely way to live ... and who can make anyone responsible in this climate? Do point fingers so the blame rests as far from you as possible. There are other 'qualities' that support these approaches to life, but what's the point? Eventually, a fall or crash, or other negative will emerge and you will be totally unprepared. Will others step in and 'take care of you'?

I know those words sounded harsh - they were meant to be. We don't live in a world in which we can avoid and escape the ramifications of our actions or lack of actions. You may succeed for some time but eventually... you do have to 'pay the piper'. Why set yourself up? Is the immediate lack of responsibility a greater incentive for you than a life filled with fulfillment and fruitfulness? For me, problem solving has always been great fun. It's a terrific learning tool as well. The skills you learn are enhanced every time you tackle an issue requiring solving. Whether you problem solve as part of a team or solo in your own life challenges - one of the greatest tools in your problem solving approach is asking questions. 

One question and then the answer may lead to a different question and direction. The point is the behavior. Brain storming possible answers is also a tool. Depending on the time available, never qualify a response to the brain storming - let whatever is said have equal value until you start the option discovery phase. In this phase you take the 'answer' that seems to have the greatest opportunity for success - but also develop your Plan B and C. While you are expecting A to work, don't assume.

As you can see, problem solving is a process. But the process is focused with the result that is never 'helter skelter', there's an organization and procedures that are in place. Problem solving is also a mindset, a way to quickly and effectively react to any threat or weakness to attaining the goal. It is also inclusive. Problem solving is always enhanced by utilizing the thinking and gifting of others. If you have to do the process alone - then you might consider double checking with a trusted adviser before you act. 

For want of a nail...

   "For want of a nail the shoe was lost
    For want of a shoe the horse was lost
    For want of a horse the rider was lost
    For want of a rider the message was lost
    For want of a message the battle was lost
    For want of a battle the kingdom was lost
    And all for the want of a horseshoe nail."

Familiar? This proverb is found in nearly every country and language... and age. The point? According to one source: "It describes a situation in which a failure to anticipate or correct some initially small dysfunction leads by successively more critical stages to an egregious outcome." 

Though we read and see these examples, history always seems to repeat itself, even with the foreknowledge! We so rarely learn from the mistakes from previous generations, but who would want an egregious outcome? Tools to avert this: anticipate, correct any initially small dysfunction. My terms to avert these issues are critical thinking and option planning. Too often we don't ask questions as part of our analysis so we experience being blindsided or experience 'unforeseen consequences'. Neither of those outcomes are within our plans but typically occur when we eliminate those crucial steps to act on the 'forewarned is forearmed' mentality.

Frustration is often the expression we all feel when we analyze 'what went wrong' and discover that beginning problem was identified but never was address. You saw it, you just didn't do anything to resolve it. History is replete with startling examples of what turned into an enormous failure because of a simple action that never occurred. Wars have been won and lost because of this inattentiveness. Sometimes there really is no redress and one has to live with the consequences.

... for want of a nail... Do we live our lives this way? Do we not address those areas that we need to in order to live abundant fruitful and fulfilling lives? Not taking the time now to prepare (Beginning in Matthew 25:1) may place us in the position of the 7 foolish bridesmaids - out in the cold. Sometimes we feel we are too tired or aren't equipped or (fill in the blank) - doesn't deter the 'for want of a nail' experience. We have to prepare and be attentive or we will suffer the fate of the 'for want of...'. 

Hiding sin

Doesn't work, you know. The Lord was there when you sinned since He never leaves or forsakes us. I rather think He' s not surprised when we choose to sin. Disappointed - undoubtedly, shocked and surprised - no. So why do we try to ignore or distance ourselves when we do sin? It never works.. BUT, the Word does provide a remedy - confess. Why waste the time? Return to fellowship with the Lord. He warns us that righteousness can have no fellowship with unrighteousness (2 Corinthians 6:14). And unconfessed sin makes us unrighteous. Restoring the fellowship is so very simple - confess. Read 1 John 1:9-2:2.

Rationally we know this. But I think we all try to 'save face'. Silly and a total waste of time. The reasons and/or excuses for the behavior are legion and vary with the person... but I think it's safe to say that most people have attempted to avoid at some time, at least once. At some point though the cloud of deception lifts and we see and eventually own what we did/said. But this can be a very lengthy process if we let pride accompany our sin and delay what we need to do.

Perhaps the point is - just how important is being in relationship with the Lord to you? Will you attempt to hide your sin from Him? Do you know why? What do you gain with this behavior? If we take the flip side and you do confess, what do you do with your confession? Do you allow it to beat you up at every opportunity? Do you purpose in your heart to take a stand against whatever the sin is? But when/if you fall again, will you try again to take a stand or just give up and tell the Lord you just 'can't'? Did you forget that He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world? (1 John 4:4) Or that you are MORE than a conqueror? (Romans 8:31-39)

At some point you need to realize that YOU really are an overcomer... in Him. That each time you slip, you quickly acknowledge and confess and once again stand. (Ephesians 6) You also have to learn those things that cause you to stand and those things that cause you to fail - and do the first to overcome the second. Hiding sin. Letting the lies tell you that you aren't and can't be forgiven or that you are so unworthy will bind and blind you if you let them.  Remember that the Lord is constantly with you helping you to be the best you, you can be. Never let hiding sin control.

Accepting Forgiveness

Contrary to logic, when it is the Lord forgiving us, our acceptance of the offered forgiveness is NOT an easy thing. We rehearse and rehearse, continuing to seek the Lord's forgiveness from something He has thrown into the fiery pit. So why do we keep bring it up? Not trusting that we really are forgiven? Feeling so bad about what we did/said that we feel we should be punished? Actually, there are a mired of reasons why we keep ourselves in a (forgiven) unforgiving place. It makes no difference if we know better... we still have difficulty in some situations.

Point is... scripture is true. It isn't necessary to carry around extra baggage that really is no longer part of who you are. Why bring back mistakes from your yesterdays? 1John 1:7-2:2  

   "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins
    and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." v.9 

What's missing? We confess. He forgives AND cleanses. Where's the problem? Do we not believe this scripture? Or perhaps it is for others and not ourselves? The Word does not mention continuing to confess. Don't we believe He is faithful? Exactly WHY do we not accept and move on?

Perhaps we feel we need some punishment? Don't worry. The ramifications from what you did/said will enact a penalty. And we do have to own the responsibilities from rash or unthinking actions so there is punishment. For me, one of the greatest learnings from these verses is the point that He cleanses us from all unrighteousness. What a gift! What a blessing! Because apart from being in a state of righteousness, we can have no fellowship with Him. 2 Corinthians 6:14 reminds us that there is no relationship when we aren't equally yoked, which I believe also means that we need to be in a state of righteousness to be in relationship. This is provided! He cleanses us.

Our issue is to accept His forgiveness. And part of this is not continuing the sinful behavior. Neither are easy... but they are simple. We also need to be mindful that as we walk in our forgiveness we can't do less with others - we must extend forgiveness to them. Revenge, grudges have no place in relationship. 

It really does begin with the awareness that He chooses to forgive us when we come to Him and confess our sins... We need to accept His forgiveness and move on. Walking in forgiveness does begin with accepting our forgiveness, not looking at whether 'deserving' even enters the discussion.

Self -Motivated?

Does this describe you? Would you want to be considered as a self-motivator? If you were applying for a job, would you indicate this as one of your qualities? Perhaps I should ask - how do you view self-motivated? Is this a positive or not so great a designation? The first thing you need to do is define the word and then indicate how you demonstrate this quality. 

The dictionary defines self-motivated as: "... initiative to undertake or continue a task or activity without another's prodding or supervision..." Another source: "... motivated or driven by oneself or one's own desires, without any external agency..." Would you consider those definitions as how you conduct your affairs?  Would you define this 'attribute' with those definitions? Is this something that is a positive for you? Or is this an attribute you don't wish to have? That maybe on the continuum toward self-motivated that you have gone too far? What would stop or inhibit you from being a self-motivated person? Do you see any advantage or only the potential for problems? 

Self-motivated people do not shy from responsibility - actually, I would contend they seek it. Challenge is another attribute that is associated with this behavior and mindset. And this is not careless or unthinking action. Self-motivators, at least in my world of definitions, always have plans and contingency options ready before they embark on an action. These are conscientious people with a high achievement drive.

Is there a 'downside' to these people? Assuming and communicating are the only problems I see. There are times when you can be so engaged with what you are doing and where you want to go that you miss that critical step of communication. If there is any quality that is critical for self-motivators it would be communication. Everyone associated with the 'project' needs to see what is being done before it's completed - unless the authority is also extended. But even with this being in existence, I believe self-motivators need to keep those they are working with and those in authority over them fully cognizant of the plan and progress. I also believe that they need to be open to suggestions and don't do a 'missing the forest for the trees'. Ownership, especially by those who are involved will always be important. 

How you do you...

Have you realized that the phrase - ' You may be the only Bible others may read?' - has important consequences for how you go about being you? It does! Depending on your level of attention placed in this thought influences not only what you do and say... but how you go about doing them.

   "Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let
    your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may
    know how you ought to answer each person." (Colossians 4:5-6)

So what do you think? Does this apply to you? Do you have any understanding on just how important you are as His Ambassador in the world in which you live? He has chosen to work through us - such a blessing. And sometimes, this means tough decisions - being a Christian, His Ambassador - does not include compromise. I know we often quote Paul (to excuse ourselves?):

   "For though I am free from all men, I have made myself a servant to all 
    that I might win the more; and to the Jews I became as a Jew ... to 
    those who are without law, as without law ... to the weak, I became as
    weak ... I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means
    save some." (I Corinthians 9:19-22)

Becoming all things to all needs defining and never used as an excuse. How would you define this phrase for you, in your world? To repeat - being all things to all - is not an excuse nor is it avoiding and/or compromising the standard given us in our manual, the Bible. And it rarely is an easy path. We do live in glass houses and how we are us is information for others about ourselves and how we apply our Christian standard to our lives. Which is probably the reason that so many non-Christians believe we are hypocrites - saying one thing but acting quite the opposite.

We should never consider this as a stress-filled life. Doing us should be as natural as breathing in and out. Being a Christian should permeate all we are. And yes, I know we don't always act this way. Perhaps our best witness is when we haven't followed the standard or have acted hypocritical. How we respond to our own bad words/behaviors - apologizing not covering - and how we return to who we are becoming will be a powerful witness for those finding themselves in similar situations. How we do who we are and Who we serve and how we handle those negative acts can't be underestimated.      

Why???!!!

On hindsight... and sometimes during, do you ever stop and ask yourself WHY are you doing what you're doing? I do. Sometimes I surprise (both negatively and positively) myself! Not always want to be surprised in this fashion. But the answer to why I am doing (fill in the blank) sometimes seems to elude me. Or am I being purposefully 'blind'? Answer - possibly. Personally, I really do believe we absolutely know what we do and the potential ramifications from our words and actions. 'Oops' really doesn't occur.

I'm a why-am-I(you)-doing-what-I'm-doing type. Why has always been important for me to know. I don't do not knowing very well. Granted, I may not always like the answer but to be in an answer-less position is far worse. I would also suggest that many of us do not take the time and energy to consider our whys very often. And I suspect that the reason is that focusing on our whys may stop us from doing or saying something... and we don't always want to listen to that check in our spirits. Self-defeating behaviors? Of course, but if we're honest then that reason doesn't always take precedent.

I also believe that if we'd let the why questions have a voice more often then we'd not be trying to make amends, apologize, or ignore our words and behaviors that provided those results we didn't want. And, be honest, are we ever surprised at the results that are less than satisfactory? We sometimes get in our own way. If the behavior is based in a 'get even' reaction - never forget that revenge is a dish best served cold (Eugene Sue, 1846) and "... vengeance is mine says the Lord, I will repay..." (Deuteronomy 32:35, Romans 12:17-19) 

Actually I think whys are great tools for understand - ourselves, others, the situation. The more we ask ourselves the whys in our words and behaviors, the more accurate understanding we have of who we are and how we go about doing this. Whys don't paint with a self-interest brush as they tend to be more 'honest'. Whys don't let us get away with easy answers. And, at least in my life, they aren't always consoling because they make me face why I'm doing what I'm doing, the real reason not the socially acceptable one. They're merciless, one could say ruthless, in this.

Praise Him in the hallway...

"Until God opens the next door... Praise Him in the hallway." Love the image these words portrays. The 'author' of this phrase is unknown to me but I appreciate the mindset it provides. It's easy to get frustrated or irritated... impatient in the 'waiting times'. At least, that's what I call those times between the closing of one door and the opening of another.

Admittedly, I am not the most patient of people... regardless of the context. To be perfectly honest waiting is lost on me. One example is that I am always starting on the next book before I end (basically editing) the one I'm working on. I don't think I've ever 'feared' change, actually I rather look for it. Because of my tendency, do I lose the waiting or in-between times... yes, often. However, this phrase indicates that there is something to do while waiting. Praise Him.

Praise is an excellent use of one's time. And praise always focuses us - you can't unthinkingly praise. Praise, according to one source, is really for us and I tend to think this true. When you are praising the Lord... how/what do you feel? What is your focus? What do you think about? I really can't imagine praising Him without feeling uplifted, focusing on the who and what the Lord has, is and continues to do, and thinking about all He is and does - for me. That really is an excellent use of time. Rehearsing all that the Lord has done grows my confidence that He still has me on His mind (Jeremiah 29:11). 

I firmly believe that if I am still on earth, then the Lord still has use for me. My time should be spent readying myself and being available to Him. One thing I can do is study (2 Timothy 2:15). Ephesians 5:19 tells us to lift one another up "...with psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart...". Even if it is 'noise', you can sing and make melody to the Lord by yourself. Those are only a couple of examples but they point to the fact that our attention should be on the Lord... not on our waiting.