Make me an instrument...

     "Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace. Where there is hatred,
      let me sow love; where there is injury, pardon; where there is doubt, 
      faith; where there is despair, hope; where there is darkness, light;
      where there is sadness, joy.

      ... grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
      to be understood as to understand; to be loved as to love; For it is
      in giving that we receive; it is pardoning that we are pardoned; it
      is in dying that we are born again to eternal life." (Francis of Assisi)

  This prayer by St. Francis has always profoundly affected me. It has become a kind of standard against which I can judge my words and behavior. Me...an instrument of the Lord's peace is love, pardon, faith, hope, light, and joy! Even possible? Too high a standard? Aren't those really a statement of what we are to be and do as Ambassadors (2Corinthians 5)? The questions allow me to look at the consequences of who I am and what I do - what are my results? Am I sowing these attitudes/actions? Simultaneously, I do need to recognize what I am doing if I am sowing hatred, injury, doubt, despair, darkness, or sadness.  

  The other verse asks if our attention is on consoling, understanding, loving, giving, pardoning or the opposites. It is critically important for us to know our own motivations that underscore our words and behaviors. And yes, there are moments when we really could care less about understanding/loving/giving etc. because we feel we need to be on the receiving end. Do we look to the One who gives us all of those and more? Typically we look at our circumstances and the world to provide. Maybe temporarily but never constantly. I've also discovered that when I take my eyes off of me and try to be His instrument ... I receive far more than I give.

  Am I even able to sow those attributes that promote life? Not of myself I'm not. All too easily I can sow the negative ones though. For me, this is the time to be intentionally alert to who and what I am and do, and how the other person is understanding what I'm saying. It's also when I try and keep the mindset that as I act with and toward others, I am doing the same to the Lord. This may be a sobering mindset but it is not a frightening one. Again, this becomes a standard against which I can 'judge' what and why I am doing...

  Do you want to be an instrument? I think that's the underlying question. Remember the story of the rich young ruler(Matthew 19, Mark 10)? The young man walked away because what was asked was more than he was willing to give. Somehow I think we all are asked the question of whether or not we are willing to give all we have and we simply don't have the heart for it. The unbelievable blessing though is that this opportunity seems to arise again in our lives because the Lord wants us to have, live, do, be our best. It is always... everything. Being an instrument is not for the faint-hearted.