Disappoint

  I really don't like to be disappointed. Whether it is intentional or not, the 'let down' feeling is kinda yukky. And, whether the disappointment lies in a person, event, or 'thing' I simply don't like disappointments. However... when I am the disappointment for another person - this I truly hate. The problem, at least for me, is that when I discover I've disappointed someone I really feel quite helpless in redeeming the situation.

  So what to do? Try and make amends and correct, if possible? Attempt to 'justify' why you did or did not do something? Actually I've discovered, somewhat painfully at times, that excuses (a different word for justify) simply do not work... even justifiable excuses. When you are the source of disappointment for another, logic isn't always the answer (can't believe I just said that).

  Also, rushing in to ameliorate rarely is the best approach either. Sometimes your remedy isn't a remedy and only exasperates. The point to remember is that your feelings shouldn't be the basis for your actions. You need to look at both the other person and the situation to determine, first, if it needs to be redeemed or if you only need to address the other person's feelings. Whichever the answer is, that's where you need to focus your words and actions. Explanations can come only after the feelings have been acknowledged.

  You need to realize that whatever you do and/or say - the other person may not quickly accept the 'substitute'. And this applies to big things as well as small. Disappointment is quite insidious and seems to color everything in its wake. Trying to cover it over will never work, substituting rarely works. I've discovered that, for me, the only thing I can do is to acknowledge that I was the source of the other person's feelings, acknowledge that their feelings were hurt, and then wait till they've worked through this to see what needs to be done. Sometimes the first two are all that is needed.

...but, what do you think? what do you believe?