I may be wrong...

   If you hear that phrase...watch out! Typically the speaker always follows that opening with...'but'. This can be translated as - but I don't think so, and then proceed immediately to give you their opinion on (fill in the blank).  Do you do this? Probably. I know I do but follow the phrase with, but I'm not. But the crucial point is how we, the listener, choose to react to the phrase. We can accept it. Reject it. Both are done without much thought but also with no intention of following the advice. However, it is worth listening to and adding to your decision options.

  Personally, I only give a grain of salt value when I hear this phrase. It really is a kind of providing an excuse before potential ill thought out advice is given. Bottom line is that the phrase is letting the listener know that it is opinion only - if it were fact or truth then the phrase wouldn't be needed. Yes? But what about when we use the phrase? What is our motivation and what is our value on what we say? Yep... the same. Actually this phrase can be helpful for our categorizing because we already know it's opinion and thus the speaker's best guess answer.

  Why do we use this phrase? Answered - because we really want to be able to offer our thoughts and yet not be held liable if we're wrong. Cowardly? No, I don't think so. Since everyone tends to have the same regard for the words that come after that phrase then no one is held accountable and it is heard and accepted for what it is. Our personal preference. Problems arise if, when we use the phrase and then provide our thoughts, and then expect the listener to follow our preference. My bias is that if you really want to give weight to what you say then you need to acknowledge this with the phrase: 'I believe you should (fill in the blank)' and then be willing to own up to any consequences from your advice. Granted it is always the other person's decision to follow what you suggested, but you do have some responsibility.

  But what do YOU do when you hear the phrase? Do what I initially suggested and simply add it as one more piece in your information cache on which to make your best decision? My suggestion would be to never simply disregard their opinion but certainly, regardless of the status of the person offering, do not follow it unthinkingly. Then again, I may be wrong...
 

Power

  Have you considered the word? Power is a relational word - it's always in terms of some thing... or someone. And... we all have power if only in our ability to give the power over us away. What is your power related to? And who or what has power over you? Is your interest piqued? (If so, with which Webster definition? Irritation? Curiosity?) Just so we all are understanding 'power' with the same definition, Webster's says: "...power is possession of control, authority, or influence over others." Do you feel you are powerful? In terms of what...???

   Another part of the definition of power is: the ability to use the power. The important point, to me, about power is whether or not the power is legitimate and who or what legitimized it. Nearly equally important is whether or not power is used effectively. When power isn't used effectively then most of the time it is either used to control (others, the situation) or it is a disaster that either is or is waiting to happen.  When power is used correctly then it is never an attempt to subvert others or put them in harm's way.  

  And you... are you seeking power? For what? Do you attempt to exert power over others? And which 'possession' do you have: authority or influence? Personally, I would prefer to have the form of power that is displayed as influence. In my observation, authority can be a transitory thing. Authority, if given by us, is one thing but if it is established on other outward factors then this can be taken away or changed from the person who initially had the 'authority'.
 
  My personal choice is 'power' based on influence. With this basis, an individual places their confidence in another person because of previous personal experience not power given by an outside party. If I personally have any power it would only be in this form. The underlying foundation for influence has to be integrity plus experience with the person exerting influence. This form of power is one in which the belief, thought is expressed but the people/person always retains the right of acceptance.

  My final thought on this subject is that if you don't believe in power or expressing it then I think you are living in a fool's paradise. If that sounds harsh, apology. But even babies' behavior demonstrates that on some level even they know power exists. Just watch adults reactions to a baby's cry or their smiles. Talk about power...

WRITER'S NOTE

     I've made another writing tweak.

     My blogs have been the 'feeding' or 'proving' source and ground for my books. All of my books have relied heavily on the blogs to provide the entries for 'YOU', 'The Blatant Christian' and 'Wonderings'. But from this point forward, this will be the exception rather than the rule.

     As a result, I will be splitting my writing time between the blog and the books. This means than my pace of posting every other day will not continue. But also, the books will only rarely be including the posts from the blog. Most of the blog posts will be more of the... what strikes my thinking at the moment / have you thought about (fill in the blank).

                                                                                                  Carolyn

Walking...

  I really love to walk. For me, it's invigorating and uplifting but then again... I go at my speed. Do you enjoy walking... and at whose speed? Most of my walks are simply that - a walk and I let the day lead me in the direction to go. It's not a purposeless walk but it isn't to a predetermined location either (except to return home eventually). Again for me, it's a time to let my mind wander and go where it wills without being confined in any way, so it typically is the prime time to discover new thoughts or a different perspective on a thought.

  You should know that where I live is a quiet place, conducive to those kinds of 'undirected' activities and not in a more citified locale. However, even if I did live in a more hustle and bustle place I would hope that it wouldn't stop my walking, cities do have to have parks, yes? But my point is that walking is a movement based activity that, for me, is always beguiling me to those new thinkings and new learnings. Walking's focus or activity, I've discovered, is something I can typically do whenever and wherever I am so inclined. 

  As delightful as the walk is for my cogitating time it is also an exhilaration to the senses. Seeing, up close and personal, God's creation is never boring and rarely the same - even if I take a familiar path. It is always surprising what I see, what new discoveries I can make on each walk. And walking means looking up and to the right and left... and sometimes behind. For me, it is never defined in terms of looking down. Then again, I'm not a person who delights in bugs but if you are, you definitely will find them. 

  Walking does beg the question of whether you are walking alone or with someone. You? Personally I'm always walking with someone. Yes, sometimes it is another person but always I've got my life's companion, Jesus, with me. You have no idea, unless you do the same, how important this is. Granted I didn't always realize that He was with me, but when I look back I can see His footprints besides mine unless He is carrying me. Regardless, He is there. Then again... He said He would be.
 

Where to start???

  Do you feel a tad overwhelmed and uncertain as to where to start and how to start (fill in the blank). No, not the 'typical' or usual problems, issues, and challenges; the more essential and critical one of 'self improvement' - however you define this. The somewhat obvious and yet unhelpful comment would be - right where you are! Well... yes, but what does that mean? Granted that we are all on a road of self discovery and self improvement and that we are all in a state of 'becoming' - precisely WHAT are we suppose to be doing? Not just the 'what' but how do we start?

  Do you ever feel like that? I suspect we all have and all have experienced this wobbly and slightly unsteady place. However, knowing that others have and do experience something similar does not help when you are in this predicament. Now what? Not just extraction from the feelings and knowledge but how to correct or improve what needs to be done is the focus. And while the response that everyone has these times gives a sense of relief - it still doesn't resolve the issue. We all face these times and should have learned what we need to do to not just escape but to capitalize on this time.

  A more 'logical' start would be to examine what brought you to this state? What caused you to consider self-improvement/growth? Something had to be occurring in your world that caused you to wonder. Perhaps a dissatisfaction with who you are now? Maybe a lack of growth in yourself that you sense? I've always discovered that when I began considering the 'beginning' then I typically had the correct direction to begin my start. However I've also discovered that I really can't simply rely on past paths to be only an escape. I need to attend to the issues that precipitated this state.

  Just like about everything else in our lives, becoming or self-improvement - the more essential life question's is a never ending journey of discovery. We can choose not to follow that road but our own sense of dissatisfaction will only increase when we do. There is always a price to pay to  discover but I believe that the price we pay when we don't is unbearable. And our 'where to start' is staring is in the face. Yes, it is right where you are but it's also who you are and what you want from life. Those answers will lead you to your start.

Good things take time...

  Wish I had said that - I'm quoting an unknown source. But what a great mindset! In our lives of instant everything, many times the 'good' does take time. Will we wait till it materializes or whine off? Or does it depend on the eventual 'good things'? 'Good' may be a word that demands personal definition but it is also a relative word. What may be viewed as important, as something to be attained today may be 'old' tomorrow. Remember though, it is the eternal things, the truly essential things that can earn the title of 'good'. The transitory 'good' is typically a want, a desire not a need.

  No, 'transitory good' doesn't make it bad - but it's another case of putting the accent on the wrong syl-lable. What we should be seeking, what we should label as 'good' are not those things that can be bought but those qualities of character. Sound boring? Not. Anytime you spend the time working on becoming, on being a better you is worth the time and effort. You are always worth the time it will take you to grow, to realize who you are and what you are able to become. But only you can do the work, take the time to grow into that better you. Don't think it won't take work - it will!

  Perhaps it's time for you to identify, if you haven't, what you consider to be the 'good things'. Are they always ... things? Do you only look at the tangible as your focus for good? However, for a moment consider just things - do you wait for them to emerge? Or do you decide you have other 'things' on your plate that you don't have the time or energy to wait for the 'good'? But what about time? Time often does need to occur before the good can be complete. And now relevance merges as the basic criteria to consider.

  And to answer the 'things' question - of course the good isn't limited to only the tangible. And I suspect you do take the time for them as well... to a point. Soooo, is this just a not so subtle way of saying that we are an impatient people living in an instant gratification time? Yes and no. I am saying we need to take another look at this aspect of our lives because we are hammered with it constantly. And I am also saying that the truly important things, the essential and eternal things need to have a larger role in our lives. But that we also need to realize that in the less tangible areas, it takes time. We are a 'becoming' creation and God isn't finished with us yet. Have His patience with yourself.

...and now for something entirely different...

  This is one of those thoughts that pushed its way into the forefront and demands to be heard. So, I'm giving it voice. If you're looking to see where this post fits, I think you'd be wasting your time. Also, I'm certain that you've done something like this before, but maybe not with the process I'm using. First, find paper and pencil and number down the left side of the page from 1 to 10, leaving a space between the numbers. Next, make 3 columns and titled them: Like, Dislike, Willing to Work on.

  Now the process. List one characteristic or quality that you Like about yourself. In the next column list one that you don't like. And in the final column list something you are or are willing to work on to be that better you. You cannot move on until you follow that sequencing in order. No, you can't just list all the things you like or dislike about yourself. You can't move on to the next number (and, by the way, this is not a listing in order of importance - it's what you say about yourself right now as it strikes your thinking) nor can you jump around from a like to a work on and then a dislike - sequential, in order. To give you a quick example to get you started, I'll use myself: a Like would be that I'm a good listener, a Dislike would be that I am quite impatient, and a Willing to Work on would be that I will attempt to not place unstated expectations on others.
~~~
  OK, now that you've done your lists, what picture do you see of yourself that emerges? Did you have trouble coming up with 10 things and had to stop midway through? Did you subconsciously or overtly rank order them? In looking at your lists, what is the strongest Like for you about you? Strongest Dislike? How do both of these lists describe your who? Is there a Like or Dislike or Work on you feel is not included? Can, will you, as the song says: accent the positive and eliminate the negative? Is it worth it to you?

  First things first was for you to see the words you use to identify and describe who you think you are - strengths and weaknesses. Next is to look at how you can maximize your strengths, but probably more important is your Willing to Work on list. Will you work on any of those qualities? Point being that you should never work on more that one at a time because it does take time to become a better you. But once you are on your way with one, add a new one into the mix. Always remember... you are constantly in a state of becoming but it's up to you to be willing to grow, to change, to improve. God's not done with you yet... are you?