Do you get bored? Do you find yourself with 'nothing to do'!? Perhaps I should say - nothing you want to do. Quite honestly, I'm not certain I've ever been bored but if I were, knowing that a cure was at hand would be wonderfully comforting. But, what would you do if you found yourself bored? There's a wonderful quote attributed to Dorothy Parker, "The cure for boredom is curiosity. There is no cure for curiosity." And, if you noticed, there is no focus for 'curious' - it can be related to anything!
Curiosity. It's 'interesting' that the two words Webster uses to define curious is inquisitive and nosiness. While 'nosiness' may be a legitimate definition, I prefer the, 'interest leading to inquiry' approach. It's the qualities of curiosity - who, what, where, when, why, how - that infuse the discovery process. I think we are born with curiosity - just watch babies explore their worlds if you doubt my assertion. I'd go as far as to state that curiosity is the foundation for all discoveries. Somehow, though, many people seem to lose this quality from their life. But it can be rediscovered.
Curiosity is the twinkle in the eye of progress. Curiosity is the spur to 'what if'. If it wasn't obvious, I am a great proponent of the wondrous qualities of curiosity. Is there a 'down side'? I don't think there is unless you try and live in the world of curiosity without any involvement with 'real world'. One lives in the 'real world' (open to definition) and you can't ignore this, but it is the world of '...I wonder...' that is the creative component.
There is absolutely no way you can be bored when engaged in the act of discovering (which, to me, is the tangible aspect of curiosity). Curiosity really is all it's cracked up to be. It can be a 'cure' for a number of malaise (don't think there's a plural for this word... it's like sheep and deer, solitary). Curiosity adds flavor, adds spice to our days. Soooo.... why would you ever want a cure for curiosity?
...but, what do you think?
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Sunday, October 28, 2012
A simple life
Is there such a thing as 'a simple' ... to anything! Granted it depends on the issue but even with the simplest of questions... is there ever just a simple answer? I'm beginning to seriously doubt it. Or maybe it's that no one wants to commit themselves to something 'obvious' or 'simple' because life has ceased to be simple. Plus most people are relativist and respond with a, '... it depends on the situation.' Talk about lame.
That may be a tad harsh. Look at your own life - can you say you live a 'simple life'? Probably not. More important - would you like to? Yes... it does depend on your definition of 'simple' which is probably based on what you aren't currently experiencing. Webster says that simple is: "naive, free from guile and vanity, modest" and then the definition becomes condescending, "lacking in knowledge or expertise, not socially or culturally sophisticated". However, 'simple' may simply be a state in which whatever the negative you are experiencing doesn't exist. But... do you know your definition?
Often people look back 5, 10 or 20 years and say that 'those were simpler times'. I think the issue is that in those times they weren't experiencing stress... or very little... or didn't recognize stress for what it is and does. Stress seems to be the single most mention factor that people will indicate as negatively
impacting their lives. Difficulties would have existed 'back then' but not as pervasive as they appear to be now. Fact or fiction has little to do with it - it's our memories from that time.
IF simple is influenced/impacted by stress then you have a starting point to reach simple. Stress reduction. While it can be argued that reducing stress is easier said than done, you can influence your own level of stress, even if it is only in how you respond to stress - emotionally as well as behaviorally. Actually, your response to your own situation has a tremendous effect on how stress controls you.
...but, what do you think?
That may be a tad harsh. Look at your own life - can you say you live a 'simple life'? Probably not. More important - would you like to? Yes... it does depend on your definition of 'simple' which is probably based on what you aren't currently experiencing. Webster says that simple is: "naive, free from guile and vanity, modest" and then the definition becomes condescending, "lacking in knowledge or expertise, not socially or culturally sophisticated". However, 'simple' may simply be a state in which whatever the negative you are experiencing doesn't exist. But... do you know your definition?
Often people look back 5, 10 or 20 years and say that 'those were simpler times'. I think the issue is that in those times they weren't experiencing stress... or very little... or didn't recognize stress for what it is and does. Stress seems to be the single most mention factor that people will indicate as negatively
impacting their lives. Difficulties would have existed 'back then' but not as pervasive as they appear to be now. Fact or fiction has little to do with it - it's our memories from that time.
IF simple is influenced/impacted by stress then you have a starting point to reach simple. Stress reduction. While it can be argued that reducing stress is easier said than done, you can influence your own level of stress, even if it is only in how you respond to stress - emotionally as well as behaviorally. Actually, your response to your own situation has a tremendous effect on how stress controls you.
...but, what do you think?
Friday, October 26, 2012
Stumbling stones
Do you know what yours are? Those irritating behaviors, attitudes, and/or emotions that trip you up. Just when you think you have finally 'matured' and mastered them... they blindside you. Do you know what causes you to stumble? Whether or not you realize, you really do know, however it's an issue of who's in control - you or them.
Let me provide an example... patience. I have zilch. It's not a point of pride because I constantly get into trouble because of it. I do not have it under control. And it really is silly because it typically is in areas that I don't have control over but am a party to or recipient. Simply... it's called if you don't have control over the situation then your options are to depart or accept. Another example, for me, is blatant stupidity. Not misunderstanding, knowing better and still forging ahead. I have little tolerance when I see it in others and even less with myself. One really does know when one is behaving stupidly.
It seems that if you don't have control over your stumbling stones you do need to be on the alert for when they emerge so that you can effectively respond - not just react. So often we only exasperate the situation by what we do once we are faced with one of our stones. And what we do is to react with scant thought. However, there is another path - squarely face those stones, acknowledge them for what they are and what they do, and develop the necessary skills to deal with them.
For each of us, we find our way out of our 'predicament' rather than ignoring the problem. Everyone emerges eventually, but the 'how' of emerging and the 'condition' are two of the aspects we can focus on. We all need to become more aware of what 'sets us off' or what it is that allows those irritating stones to dictate our reactions. It is possible to overcome, to hold our stones in check and become effective at responding.
...but, what do you think?
Let me provide an example... patience. I have zilch. It's not a point of pride because I constantly get into trouble because of it. I do not have it under control. And it really is silly because it typically is in areas that I don't have control over but am a party to or recipient. Simply... it's called if you don't have control over the situation then your options are to depart or accept. Another example, for me, is blatant stupidity. Not misunderstanding, knowing better and still forging ahead. I have little tolerance when I see it in others and even less with myself. One really does know when one is behaving stupidly.
It seems that if you don't have control over your stumbling stones you do need to be on the alert for when they emerge so that you can effectively respond - not just react. So often we only exasperate the situation by what we do once we are faced with one of our stones. And what we do is to react with scant thought. However, there is another path - squarely face those stones, acknowledge them for what they are and what they do, and develop the necessary skills to deal with them.
For each of us, we find our way out of our 'predicament' rather than ignoring the problem. Everyone emerges eventually, but the 'how' of emerging and the 'condition' are two of the aspects we can focus on. We all need to become more aware of what 'sets us off' or what it is that allows those irritating stones to dictate our reactions. It is possible to overcome, to hold our stones in check and become effective at responding.
...but, what do you think?
Wednesday, October 24, 2012
Generous
Are you generous? Perhaps just as important... do others see you as generous? Do you want to be considered as a generous person? Now the crux of the question - generous about/with what? Your time? Your resources? Your thoughts? Your you? Generous is as much about the intangible as is is the material. Generous is always a choice. Generous is visible, something 'seen' as well as known. It is a lifestyle as much as it is a description or a 'title'. But it must be open handed... without conditions.
Regardless, how do you define generous? And do you personalize your definition? Webster defines the word primarily with adjectives: unselfish, unsparing, unstinting, magnanimous, liberal. But the implication is that this is from a bountiful supply. Does this mean that only those who have an unlimited supply can be generous? Of course not. But it does imply the attitude of generous. I believe that there is the implication of 'above and beyond' that defines generous.
There are many people who would like to be seen as generous... as long as it doesn't cost them anything. But if generous comes only from a bountiful supply, is it generosity? More important is our motives - are we generous or do we simply want to be considered as generous? Thoughtful questions that cause us to rethink our own actions... and our belief about the word.
It isn't mandated that you be generous but part of the definition is - unconditional. There's no quid pro quo involved. You shouldn't expect to be rewarded for your generosity. The important aspect is your attitude - if you expect to be rewarded when you are generous then I question your word usage.
For some, this behavior - a generous spirit - does define them, is their lifestyle, and typically is pervasive.
...but, what do you think?
Regardless, how do you define generous? And do you personalize your definition? Webster defines the word primarily with adjectives: unselfish, unsparing, unstinting, magnanimous, liberal. But the implication is that this is from a bountiful supply. Does this mean that only those who have an unlimited supply can be generous? Of course not. But it does imply the attitude of generous. I believe that there is the implication of 'above and beyond' that defines generous.
There are many people who would like to be seen as generous... as long as it doesn't cost them anything. But if generous comes only from a bountiful supply, is it generosity? More important is our motives - are we generous or do we simply want to be considered as generous? Thoughtful questions that cause us to rethink our own actions... and our belief about the word.
It isn't mandated that you be generous but part of the definition is - unconditional. There's no quid pro quo involved. You shouldn't expect to be rewarded for your generosity. The important aspect is your attitude - if you expect to be rewarded when you are generous then I question your word usage.
For some, this behavior - a generous spirit - does define them, is their lifestyle, and typically is pervasive.
...but, what do you think?
Saturday, October 20, 2012
Confidence
Where are you on the confidence continuum? Supremely confident or low self esteem? And the focus/issue is not the point, I'm talking about your overall rating of you. Smugly Supremely Confident is not a positive nor is it attractive but snivelingly low self esteem isn't either. Your level of confidence really becomes a method of determining how much you put you into the equation of your current project.
There is a direct correlation between your level of confidence in you in the specific situation and the potential for success. I find it fascinating that we will often hedge our bets and put just enough of our selves into the equation that it won't hurt if we 'lose' and that we're still involved if progress is made. That, my friend, is lukewarm living. It exemplifies compromise and temporizing. Plus there is an excellent chance that you'll lose what it is that you believe and think.
A person of confidence is able to function in conflict and is able to listen to opposing views. If you really are confident, you won't disallow other's thoughts because they could possibly be refinements on the original plans. Likewise when you are asked to 'defend' your position you are able to offer cogent arguments to explain. Confidence is not a stick but it is a stand.
Minimally, if you are confident in (fill in the blank) then you are equally willing to be known for what you believe. However, if you are not confident and it is an essential issue, you need to do what is necessary to discover and this is more than merely accepting the majority view. Confidence knows what it believes and equally important - why.
...but, what do you believe?
There is a direct correlation between your level of confidence in you in the specific situation and the potential for success. I find it fascinating that we will often hedge our bets and put just enough of our selves into the equation that it won't hurt if we 'lose' and that we're still involved if progress is made. That, my friend, is lukewarm living. It exemplifies compromise and temporizing. Plus there is an excellent chance that you'll lose what it is that you believe and think.
A person of confidence is able to function in conflict and is able to listen to opposing views. If you really are confident, you won't disallow other's thoughts because they could possibly be refinements on the original plans. Likewise when you are asked to 'defend' your position you are able to offer cogent arguments to explain. Confidence is not a stick but it is a stand.
Minimally, if you are confident in (fill in the blank) then you are equally willing to be known for what you believe. However, if you are not confident and it is an essential issue, you need to do what is necessary to discover and this is more than merely accepting the majority view. Confidence knows what it believes and equally important - why.
...but, what do you believe?
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Coping with disappointment
It's not always easy and sometimes it is extremely difficult to cope with a disappointment - regardless of the 'type'. For many of us, the first reaction to disappointment is pouting. Pouting can take many forms but there are both childish and adultish - and both exist, are visible, and are undeniably pouts. There are multiple issues related to pouting and one is length. Exactly how long will you pout about a situation that is over?
Disappointment seems to be a fact of life so it should be relatively logical to devise a host of ways to cope with it. But it also seems that we have to develop a new response each time we have to deal with disappointment. Our attitude toward this problem is the critical component in terms of how effective we deal with the disappointment. So how do you cope? What do you do to 'move on' positively?
I think the major issue is do we do anything to move on that has anything to do with the cause of the disappointment? I'm a 'teachable moment' type and nothing does a better job of providing teachable moments than how we handle disappointments. If nothing else it will hone our analytical and critical thinking skills. In the midst of all this I believe that it's also important to look on the positive learnings in the situation. What are the positives that occurred even though the results were disappointing?
Bottom line is that disappointments occur, are painful and last as long as we allow them. We can use the information from the disappointment to create something new or we can wallow in our feelings. The latter position will guarantee lack of our own personal growth. Actually a different type of bottom line is what we learn about ourselves with these situations arise. Learning is always a choice.
...but, what do you think?
Disappointment seems to be a fact of life so it should be relatively logical to devise a host of ways to cope with it. But it also seems that we have to develop a new response each time we have to deal with disappointment. Our attitude toward this problem is the critical component in terms of how effective we deal with the disappointment. So how do you cope? What do you do to 'move on' positively?
I think the major issue is do we do anything to move on that has anything to do with the cause of the disappointment? I'm a 'teachable moment' type and nothing does a better job of providing teachable moments than how we handle disappointments. If nothing else it will hone our analytical and critical thinking skills. In the midst of all this I believe that it's also important to look on the positive learnings in the situation. What are the positives that occurred even though the results were disappointing?
Bottom line is that disappointments occur, are painful and last as long as we allow them. We can use the information from the disappointment to create something new or we can wallow in our feelings. The latter position will guarantee lack of our own personal growth. Actually a different type of bottom line is what we learn about ourselves with these situations arise. Learning is always a choice.
...but, what do you think?
Tuesday, October 16, 2012
Decision-making
How do you arrive at your decision? There are many types of decision making styles... which describes you? Do you laboriously consider each and every option and ramification? Do you, after asking a number of people, accept the 'majority' opinion? Perhaps you adopt the 'fly by the seat of the pants' approach Do you take a serendipitous approach, adhering to the belief that 'everything will work out'... regardless of whether or not you do anything? Or maybe you take a I-won't-make-a -decision-so-I-don't-have-any-responsibility-for-what-happens?
And the preferred style: the person who analyzes the situation and looks for options and ramifications and then makes a 'timely' decision. Ideally we would use our foresight. But... no one has it so we're all on an even playing field. Some of us seem to have more intuition then others, but maybe it's more that some are more observant or listen to that 'inner voice' and follow it more often than others.
I do wish I had foresight... but then, life wouldn't be such an adventure if I did. However, we would probably have less scraped knees. Since we don't have foresight - what can we do? I've always thought that developing a critical thinking approach to decision making would be the preferred method. I still do. But, if you are a critical thinker then you can't use the excuse of innocence/I didn't know - this tends to be the drawback. For me, it's worth that price.
Regardless, even critical thinkers have to take a position at some point. How you present your stand is nearly as important as your stand. It is important that you remain flexible in order to take in new data. It's also important that you make your decision confidently, knowing you've done all you can to arrive at the best possible decision. The final step of monitoring what's happening as a result of the decision becomes the most critical step - this step can assure success because it's a relevant to what is actually happening thus allowing for adjustments.
...but, what do you think?
And the preferred style: the person who analyzes the situation and looks for options and ramifications and then makes a 'timely' decision. Ideally we would use our foresight. But... no one has it so we're all on an even playing field. Some of us seem to have more intuition then others, but maybe it's more that some are more observant or listen to that 'inner voice' and follow it more often than others.
I do wish I had foresight... but then, life wouldn't be such an adventure if I did. However, we would probably have less scraped knees. Since we don't have foresight - what can we do? I've always thought that developing a critical thinking approach to decision making would be the preferred method. I still do. But, if you are a critical thinker then you can't use the excuse of innocence/I didn't know - this tends to be the drawback. For me, it's worth that price.
Regardless, even critical thinkers have to take a position at some point. How you present your stand is nearly as important as your stand. It is important that you remain flexible in order to take in new data. It's also important that you make your decision confidently, knowing you've done all you can to arrive at the best possible decision. The final step of monitoring what's happening as a result of the decision becomes the most critical step - this step can assure success because it's a relevant to what is actually happening thus allowing for adjustments.
...but, what do you think?
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