Derailed in the midst of...

everyday living? In the midst of your journey? I can't think of anything more frustrating, though there are issues that are equally compelling (spelled: irritating). This is another one of those times that call for 'now what' questions. They nearly demand an answer and it will impact on how long the derailment will last. Unfortunately, many times we discover that derailments take longer to 'fix' than other problems we may face. And coupled that with the reality, that many times we aren't the ones who can fix the derailment, we need others - which leaves us subject to them and their expertise and efficiency.

 

  Derailments can be viewed as a (fill in the blank), or that time when everything seems wrong and all seemed relatively meaningless or hopeless... or at least halted for the moment. That's what derailments do - they stop you. Minimally, it is always a distraction, an interruption. And now... you need to resolve your derailment recognizing that it may not be in your hands. Back to the initial question - what do YOU do now?

  The answer to that question may be... nothing. There's nothing you can do because you aren't the one who can fix the derailment. So, in this case, let's assume that this is your condition. What will you do in your midst of waiting? Many people simply grumble about being in this predicament. Others will attempt to simply do the 'waiting game' and ... wait. There are those who will look at the situation and try and learn from it so that it won't be repeated in the future. That stance, to me, is far more proactive.

  The last group are those who fill their waiting time but not simply with games or idle conversation but who, like the proactive types, will spend their waiting time learning, discovering other 'things'. These really are ideal times to ponder and consider who you are on this particular road you're on. To make decisions relevant to who you are and what you do. Perhaps it's a time for 'what if' thinking (the area of consideration can be personal or job related).

  If you find yourself in a derailment... use the time wisely (your definition) to consider: is this the right road for you, and if not, what is? Are you continuing to learn, to grow, to become the best you possible? Ask yourself your questions. Once the derailment is fixed, regardless of how long it takes, will you want to continue on the road you're on?

It's always in the details...

  I can't think of a single thing we do that the 'details' don't impact, one could argue that they control. What do you think? Every time that an action appears to be appropriate and something goes amiss, I've learned to backtrack the details to discover if that's where I missed a step, or added a conflicting step, etc. And you know... it IS the details that caused the problem. I also have realized that in most cases, if I return to the point where I went astray, I can resolve and redeem the forward movement.

  Soooo... the question always comes to: is there something in your life that is requiring you to look into the details to discover what your problem is? You're not in the blame game, are you? Blaming (fill in the blank) never gets us to resolution, actually it delays it. The point isn't who is to blame, the point is how to resolve whatever will restart the forward motion to accomplishing the goal. After resolution you can always indicate what caused the problem and discover, develop, share what would have been a better action.

 Tough question - are you the problem because you don't give 'details' their due? And if so, do you know why? Are you following based in the direction or do you try to take the 'easy' way out or follow your own desires. I'm trying hard not to place blame or dictate what you should be doing, but if you don't consider the details of whatever you are undertaking have you met with success? If so, ignore me. If not, then start paying heed to the details to make certain they belong, are adhered to, and be open to change.

  To say that it's always in the details is to underestimate how much they influence the eventual outcome. Why am I harping on this? Because, it's very frustrating to be part of an enterprise and discover, typically too late, that others who are also involved have not thought out the potential ramifications from the details they are in charge of. Remember the old adage that the war was lost for want of a nail. It can be that catastrophic or as 'simple' as a waste of time, resources, energy, and the goal.

Look where you're going!!!

  Look out! Look where you’re headed! How often have we heard this warning? And how often have we heeded it? And when we haven’t, how often have we stubbed our toe or fallen? Warnings should do exactly what they’re intended to accomplish – to alert us to what lies ahead and help us to concentrate on the road we’re on at the moment. And a warning, while sounding very demanding, has only the power to make us follow it to the extent that we allow. 

  Perhaps you don’t realize or appreciate the degree of control (power) you have over your own life, over the direction you are headed. While you may feel ‘controlled’ rather than controlling ultimately you still have the decision and control over your attitude and over your willingness to accept the control. But is your analysis accurate over the amount of control you can exercise… especially over you and your actions? It always is up to us to heed, or not, the warning to look where you’re going.  

  Perhaps the problem causing the warning isn’t as dire as it sounds, maybe it is more so. Question is – if you don’t look, what are you allowing to happen – do you want to reap from not even taking the time to see the relevance of the warning? Heeding becomes an entirely different decision? Ignoring kinda smacks of pride. And everyone knows what comes next.  

  Granted that a warning to you may not be significant to me but you can’t dismiss the fact that someone sounded the alarm. That someone was concerned enough to want to spare you the problem of a fall or something worse. If you were in the position, would you sound an alarm? This is another layer to the warning issue. Would you be willing to call out the ‘look out’ realizing that it may not be a danger to someone or that it may not be favorably accepted?  

  In my experience, whether the alarm is critical or merely an alert to potential problems, I will take the time to stop my progress and look. Looking costs me nothing and may save me from future problems. It does seem a bit of cutting off the nose to spite the face to not look.

 

Making the world a better place…

  Actually that’s what it’s all about. We all have the potentiality to make the world a better place. It is up to us to walk in this. But first you have to believe you can make the world a better place and then you have to seize your moment to act on your part when it presents itself.

  We all have a part, a place but we have to believe this. Without a belief that we can make a difference, we will never act on our possibility. It always is our acceptance or rejection that will determine the possibility of making a difference. Then again… maybe all this begins with a definition of ‘making the world a better place’.

  The obvious place to start with a definition is to consider and analyze the world we live in. What are the issues your world is facing, or are they ignoring? What is available to resolve them? What kind of difference could you make in this? Remember that not every issue is one you should place your time and energy on – but what one(s) are yours?

  Next we need to be aware of our style of making… better place. If we have an altruistic approach to making...better place then our definition will tend to exemplify this. The problem comes when our style of behavior isn’t appreciated or even wanted. Now we have to contend with a new set of dynamics. The problem is that either a like or dislike reaction can spark a despotic behavior which is totally counter-productive. What we need to do is look at our motives – why are we doing what we do.

  And these are only some of the obvious issues we deal with in determining HOW we can go about making the world a better place. Desire is important as is ability but entry into being able to impact is probably the most important issue to resolve. You can have all the desire… do you have the entry? You can have enormous ability… do you have the entry? And if you don’t have entry – what can, or will, you do?

  However, in the midst of all this is the knowing that in small ways and more obvious ones, each of us has the option to make a difference in our world. We choose to make our world better or we walk away in an attempt at isolation because we can't plead ignorance.
 

Grudges and Forgiveness ...

  Do you hold grudges? I thought that I didn't until an incident occurred and I had to reexamine exactly what I did, not just believe, but did. I think I always believed in forgiveness because I tended to find myself in need of it quite often. But what about you? Are you needing to seek forgiveness for something you did or didn't do but you don't know how to go about it? Actually it's quite simple - you go to the person you injured and you say - I apologize, please forgive me. At that point 'the ball is in their court' but you have done what you need to do. Yes? But if your behavior doesn't demonstrate a change then have you really repented or simply gone through the motions?

  But what about when you need to forgive someone? Whether or not they ask for your forgiveness, are you quick to grant it and then offer the grace not to hold it against them? No retribution? No quid pro quo? No grudge? And there my friend is the rub. My question is - if you have forgiven someone can you hold a grudge? Yes I know we do but do we have 'the right' to? I'm afraid we don't. We need to be able to walk in forgiveness toward those we believe have wronged us. While we may not move quickly into trust toward them, we do need to display behavior that doesn't punish. And as much as we may not want to admit it.... a grudge is punishment. Question: who is punished?

  Let me ask you a different question... if you are a grudge-holder, what are the benefits? What do you get from holding a grudge? And is the grudge recipient even aware that you hold a grudge? Listen to the words commonly associated with 'grudge' - carry, hold. Both of those words imply that you end up using energy in order to accomplish this. Thus, you hostage yourself to your grudge(s). So..... why hold a grudge? Isn't that just extra baggage you have to carry? And if the other person really was sorry, by holding the grudge do you cut off your nose to spite your face by not associating with them?

  A grudge does impact your journey... it will affect your thinking and thus your behavior. It can be quite insidious. BUT, you can choose to reject grudges and yes I know that's far more difficult to achieve. I think my behavior was to simply not place myself in a position to be in contact with the grudgee. But in this I may also have denied myself a blessing. Yet, I did not perceive myself as holding a grudge but ignoring is not walking in forgiveness and that is the goal. As Christians we have no alternative except to forgive, whether or not the person requests it, but it is our decision to walk with grudge(s). I found myself amazed at the freedom I felt when I did release the grudge. Freedom is worth the price... bondage - I don't think so.

Born to grow...

  I admit that I talk a great deal about finding yourself, discovering who you are and where you're going and why but this is never an instantaneous discovery and is always never ending. And there is no magic wand to wave that will grant you this information. You have to decide that you are important enough to discover you. Without knowing who and why you will only repeat behavior that is or can be unproductive or even harmful. And one of the most important learnings and what we don't always recognize is that we are born to grow.

  How you define 'born to grow' has a tremendous influence on what you will find; actually whether or not you will even engage in your own growing or your awareness of your growth. Too often we put the eternal, the essential growth to a 'later' category. To be all that you can be is a partnership. And you have to be an active participant in this partnership. The Father is ready and willing to join you in your quest but He won't do it to you. Your questions are: do you want to grow? And if so, what are you willing to do to accomplish this? And if not - are you willing to live with uncertainty?

  I suspect that in nearly every entry I write I am, in some way, attempting to lure you into both a closer walk with the Lord and a deeper understanding of who you are and all of the potentialities that are part and parcel of you. Again, this is not a 'once and done' activity, you will be involved in this process your entire life. Even the word, grow, implies this ongoing reality. To me it is a continual adventure of discovery - of me, of the Lord, of others, of... and by now it should be very apparent that I dearly love adventures and discovering.

 Enjoy the journey because finding yourself will take time. Impatience on your part won't speed the process any and may increase the time it takes to find who you are and where you're going, how you're going to get there and who may be on your journey with you. Besides... if you start this journey with an open and positive mind then you will find all sorts of discoveries and learnings as you travel.

Layers

  It seems that 'everything' has layers. This is neither 'good' or 'bad' it is a given. Example: in school first you learn 2+2=4, and as foundation then you graduate to multiplication and division, and then on to algebra and trig, etc. You can catch my point - that everything really is a building block for the next stage, the next phase of growth. And, I tend to believe that it is sequential. The math example: you certainly wouldn't be expecting someone in the 3rd grade to be able to understand differential calculus because the foundation hasn't been built yet.

  There is a scripture in Isaiah (28) that speaks to this. Beginning in verse 9: "Whom will he teach knowledge? And whom will he make to understand...For precept must be upon precept...Line upon line." Personally I've always been intrigued with those verses but I also recognize their relevance and applicability. It's how we learn. It's how we apply what we learn. As one level, layer or plateau is understood, we test it out and as it stands the test we begin to rely on it. We use the level as a basis to grow and build upon. But everything begins with the foundation... which must be firm and understood.

  From that basis I formed my own belief that we never stop learning - we can stop ourselves from growing and we can attempt to ignore our new learnings and discoveries but that is counter productive. As we apply precept upon precept and line upon line we build our own frame of reference, our philosophical foundation. We too are layered. The problem can be when we begin to believe that the layers no longer seem relevant. Before eliminating them, we really should determine if they still have value and in what context. We all tend to throw the baby out with the bathwater... and then too often we eventually retrace our steps.

  Layers, plateaus, line upon line are all meant for us to experience a consistent and congruous growth. The fact that these exist tells us that we have time to absorb the learnings and apply them - to 'know' them without rushing. It really is important to focus on what's being taught in our now that we can build on and use. My advice has always been to enjoy what you are learning now, regardless of the difficulty, because it is part of your structure. What you choose to build, those learnings you retain and those you choose to disavow are your decision. Do choose wisely.