Tell me 'bout yourself...

   If you were asked this… what would be the first words out of your mouth? Do you know? Would the words be descriptive? And what ‘kind’ of description – materialistic, philosophical, personal? Would they be words that speak to what you’re doing or what you’ve accomplished? Perhaps you’d talk about what are your goals. Maybe you would talk about your relationships: who your parents are/were or who is your wife/husband. Maybe you will talk about your profession, what it is you do – doctor, lawyer, Indian chief. There is no right or wrong answer, the question is meant to make you consider what you would say. I probably should also ask - how would you share this information?

   Undeniably, your first words/thoughts expressed would be indicative of what you value the most. Did this realization unsettle you? Is what you think you value… what you value? If your response is that, you value a vast array of (fill in the blank), this is not at issue – we all do. But what is the single most important ’fact’ about you? What would you always want others to know about you? What indicates your values?

   My bias is that your focus should be on who you are right now and who you are becoming. While you can look at what you’ve accomplished, that should only be a foundational support – you can’t live in yesterday and really should never try. So… right here, right now – who are you? Though I’ve asked this before, do you like what you see and know? Granted that you, we are all in a state of continual growth… right here, right now – are you pleased with you? And never make excuses or emphasize what you haven't been or done!

   Regardless of whether or not you are pleased with you, do you see ‘areas’ that you need to improve in or change or refine? More important, will you take the time to determine where you need the change, refinement to improve? How committed are you ... to you – to become the best you? Or are you complacently satisfied with you (and yes that was a back handed comment)? Though this may sound condescending, it isn’t – but, please never be complacently satisfied. I'm not suggesting a striven-based approach but all of us have areas that we would like to grow in or improve.

   If you are a Christian, you really will never become ‘perfect’ you will always be in the condition of becoming… more. A lofty goal but one worth pursuing. My point is that you never, never forget that - we all are a work in progress. The Father is always there to support us in this endeavor and to cheer us on.

The Father's Heart

   I'm in the waiting on the proof stage for my new volume, "Lessons from God" in my "Me and Thee" series.  This is the 5th and final volume in this series, which is probably why I spent as much time on it, though one never is completely satisfied with one's writings. I have the additional handicap in that I am an inveterate tweaker. This volume, obviously, is not an all inclusive discussion of all of the lessons, not possible. But, I hope that it covers all the beginning steps that any new believer needs to know and every mature believer needs to reflect on. I realize that sounds a tad precious and presumptuous which is not my intent.  

   Simultaneously, I am gearing up for the next series, to be called: "The Father's Heart". And yes, that may be even more presumptuous. The first book in this series is called, "Think and Consider". It is my belief that most Christians believe they are seeking His Heart but actually I think they are seeking His Hand. That is not said accusatory, it just seems to be what happens. We all are a bit too like Thomas – let me see and then I'll believe… And what’s asked is that we believe, have faith. 

   David was special to God. He was considered to be a man after God's own heart (1 Samuel 13:14)- no mean appellation. And this was the testimony God gave about David. If you doubt or question this, read David's words, the psalms. They truly reflect a person who loved God and sought to follow Him. Not that David didn't make mistakes or sin, but when this happened, David was quick to admit his sin and was truly sorrowful. The more I thought about this the more I wanted to focus an entire series on how we become people seeking the Father's heart.

   This, seeking the Father's heart, is really a work in progress. I don’t think it will ever be completed because the Father is always teaching and available to walk with us in the cool of the morning. It would be my contention that He wants this for us more than we do, which is why He is as patience and understanding. I believe it will be a wonderful adventure to discover and explore how we really can be people who seek the Father's Heart.

Sprinter or Long-distance

  There's no value determination regarding which is the 'best', to the question, merely an inquiry as to which style reflects your preference. And if you say you are not a runner, this has little to do with running rather with action preference. The definitions I'm using as that a sprinter type is quick off the mark, many times leads the way, but when the (fill in the blank) ends, is off to the next project. On the other hand, the long-distance style paces themselves to go the distance.

  The long-distance style typically judges that the 'project' will take a long time and so they plan ahead in order to not use up all the energy, resources, etc. The end 'position' is never an issue (I came in first or last) it is a personal style leading to completion of the project. A sprinter typically does everything in a hurry because they believe one should never waste time. They typically are highly focused and have a kind of, 'the time is short' mentality. Also they rarely make changes in the plan feeling that completion is the goal.

   Unless you merely sit on the sidelines of life, everyone seems to 'fit' into one of these 2 classifications. Admittedly the 'definitions are highly stereotypical. The point is - how would you describe your style? I do recognize that the definitions are mine and may or may not have any relationship to Webster. Not the point, given my definitions - how would you describe your style? While there may be other descriptive styles, for the moment, consider only these two. Unless you adopt an 'audience' lifestyle, one or the other will be your predominant mode of behavior.

   Again... there is no value judgment on these two styles, merely a recognition that whichever is your predominant mode, it says something about you. The dilemma is if you attempt to use a sprinter's style in a project that is/will be of long duration or use a long-distance style in a short-term project. You really need to know the 'character' of the project/situation in order to understand, apply, and utilize the style that will most effectively respond. Does this mean that I believe you should be able to utilize both styles? Absolutely. However, if you don't feel confident in a style that isn't your primary approach, you need to develop other strategies to respond and this includes leadership strategies. Never feel you need 'to do it all', you may have a coordinator leadership style. 
   

Inevitability

  "Into each life a little rain must fall." Inevitable. Actually this line was penned by Longfellow. The last part in this short poem is: "Be still, sad heart! cease repining; Behind the clouds is the sun still shining; Thy fate is the common fate of all, Into each life some rain must fall, Some days must be dark and dreary." Common fate. Days must be dark and dreary. Not uplifting thoughts, regardless of their validity. But don't forget that line that says that behind the clouds the sun shines. In our dark and dreary times it can be difficult to maintain a positive attitude but it is true and should be a kind of encouragement in the face of troubles.

  The other inevitable is death and taxes, at least according to another saying. Then there is the thought that for every cause there is an effect. There is also the law of action and reaction, Newton's third law of motion, defined as, "...whenever a body exerts a force on a second body, the second body will exert an equal force in magnitude and opposite direction - to every action there will always be an equal and opposite reaction. It does appear that there are more 'inevitables' in our lives then we might be aware. So? Does this effect and affect everything? Are there other 'thing' that are... inevitable? Before quickly responding, think about it. 

  At this point you may be wondering... who cares. Actually, we all should. If there are certain components influencing our lives that are 'givens' then why should we 'tilt at windmills'? Equally important thought is... are inevitables always 'bad'? If we know that something will happen as a result of a particular action, then doesn't this give us a basis to prepare to effectively act and react? I suspect that some of the problem about 'counting on' inevitabilities is that we sometimes only recognize them after the fact, once the inevitable emerges.

   I suspect the point in all this is a self determination of how we handle surprises or intended consequences or even suspected outcomes. Since inevitables fall into the 'given' categorization, our best approach is to determine what may happen prior to beginning the project. Because I am an advocate of contingency planning, I encourage this type of thinking. Inevitables aren't as much the focus as is our behavior toward inevitables that become reality and something we will have to respond to... eventually.

  

In my opinion...

  Whenever you hear those words - run! OK, maybe that is a bit of an over reaction, but when you haven't sought someone's opinion and they are offering it - maybe not. Question though is - do you do this? Especially with your family and friends? Most people are quick to offer advice and give their opinion and most are equally quick to not accept unsolicited opinion. Does this describe you?

  One of the most important, in my opinion, lessons I learned about giving opinions or advice is that, unsolicited, it rarely is accepted. The lesson that I learned quite early was that until the other person had their 'air time' they really weren't open to hearing what you might say. Always make certain that the other person has had the opportunity to express everything they need to say before responding. One of my 'tools' in my endeavor to make certain this happens is to ask questions before commenting. From a slightly different perspective, I think this also birthed my attitude that says that if you don't want my opinion, don't ask since I really don't like to be only a rubber stamp.  

  How do you 'accept' someone's opinion, regardless if it is asked or simply offered? Do you take offense? Accept? I suspect that my reaction is not all that different from others and when people begin to provide me with their opinion, requested or not, I need to feel that they actually know what they are talking about and that they have an understanding of (fill in the blank). Relationship is a key ingredient and is close to being the primary basis on which another person's opinion is heard and accepted. Is the person offering opinion someone I know, respect, and will listen to? If so then I will probably give a greater value to what is said. 

  Quite honestly the phrase, 'What I'd do...' is often just another way of saying, 'In my opinion...' and my reaction is stoic, at best. Again, the point, for me, is whether or not I can trust what the other person is saying and that comes through relationship experience. But, do you know how you react? Do you accept whatever is offered or are you a 'throw the baby out with the bathwater' type? It is hard, when it is unsolicited input, to not become irritated at the interruption. 

  I also find that my reaction is often 'filtered' by the way in which the opinion is expressed. Never talk down to the person who is listening to your opinion, that is rude in the extreme and extremely denigrating. If you really believe 'your opinion' then you need to speak in a manner that says you value the person you are speaking with and what it is you are saying. Your opinion may be very important, but unless you present it in a manner that allows the other person to hear what you say and then apply it in their style... nothing is heard.

ConsequenceS

  You do realize that your actions have consequences, don't you? Both good and bad. Every word, every act we say/do results in some form of consequence. I don't remember, when I was a child growing up, a large number of 'nos' from my parents. And no, they were totally enamored by my brother and I to the point that our every wish was their command - hardly. I think that it was because they used a different approach and were trying to help us to develop into good decision-makers.

  I do remember being asked if I realized what the results would be if I continued in the behavior I was engaged in. Also, I remember being asked if I realized that if I did one thing it would have this result and if I did another it would have those results. Then I was asked which I preferred. Did I always choose wisely? Hardly, I was a kid and kids make mistakes! But adults aren't also always wise and they make mistakes. My point is that from an early age I was raised to consider consequences from my words and behavior, to look at potential ramifications. And no, I didn't always do this.

  Was my parents' option planning approach for teaching me how to make my decisions skewed into what they thought best? Probably. And they would never have allowed me to put myself in harm's way, but they were more focused on providing a foundation for me on how to make decisions. I also remember that they typically took the time and asked me why I was choosing one over the other(s). And it was from this that I learned that consequences happen, always - good and bad.

  While it is my belief that we should focus on the first step - how we make decisions, we also have to look at our behavior and reactions to consequences from the decisions. What do we do when the outcome is not positive? Ideally we assume our responsibility and focus on resolving what has happened in order to turn the 'negative' into a more effective basis to move on. Probably not always our first thought. I would like to think that I take a more proactive approach and consider the potential consequences from all the options before making a decision. While this is rational, because time, resources, energy restraints influence the decision we don't always have this luxury. 

  I will, as will you, always have a preferred decision-making style. This, however, does not mitigate on the unalterable reality that there are always consequences from acting and from standing still. I believe the point is to be proactive in whatever is our style and be open to improvement and refinement.  

Discipline and Diligence

  Actually this phrase came from a post by a friend that struck a chord with me. It's true. We all need discipline but we also need diligence in order to place our new learning into our mindset. In my world of definitions, knowledge is just that until the lessons it provided merges into your mindset and becomes operational in your life. This seems to be especially true as related to the words - discipline and diligence. How do you define discipline and diligence?

  Webster states that discipline is: control that is gained by requiring that rules or orders be obeyed and punishing bad behavior; a way of behaving that shows a willingness to obey rules or orders; behavior that is judged by how well it follows a set of rules or orders. Stringent sounding, isn't it? Doesn't look like there is much room for variety or creativity outside the boundaries...? But is this a 'correct' definition, one that though it may be rigid, is accurate? Though related, Diligence is defined as: persevering application; attention and care... Is there really any relationship between these two words?

  With the definition of 'discipline' there are a number of questions that quickly become apparent: who develops the rules or orders? Requiring? Punishing? Those are only the obvious ones but the point is, if you are going to accept the discipline then you need a high level of confidence in the one who develops the standards and procedures. There must be a trust and not just the threat of punishment from this who. Also there needs to be an understanding that merges from the knowledge of (fill in the blank) - we need to know the 'whys' so we have a basis of making a decision about how and if to apply this definition to our own behavior.

  Diligence is considered as, persevering application. Personally, I like this. Persevering is a strong word implying a  high degree of commitment. No one is going to persevere without knowledge, understanding, commitment, acceptance. To me this is indicating a mindset that has/is confident in (fill in the blank) in order to move to the next step of application. And if you are applying then you will be attentive and careful, not to the point of blindness, but you will attempt to follow through on what you are doing - what you committed to.

  Question: can you have discipline without diligence? I'm not certain you can be diligent without discipline. But both of these words are defined by you. The discipline may be present but you have to agree to abide by it. And if you don't you may experience the punishment. Is this a state for you? And is it based in fear, imposed from outside of you, or in confidence? The question could be - if you don't abide by the discipline, what have you placed as your standard? Diligence is a personal attribute, something you choose to do and be.

Light

  As long as you continue to grow, never accept others' 'definition' of your Christian maturity. People do tend to do this to one another. Early in my Christian walk I learned about walking in the light I had - and I have learned that this is what's important. Too often we (and others) look at how much more we need to know and understand - and, as long as this isn't said with a critical spirit, this is true and should be an impetus to continue to grow. But in our growing... are we actually walking in the light we have?

  I have experienced churches and people who seem to rush from one revelation to the next without seeming to grow or exact all they can. I appreciate that this appears extremely judgmental and perhaps it is but I somehow feel that it's too easy to miss the Lord's teaching if we only seek something 'new'. Whatever had been said - is it applied? That should be an automatic question to all 'prophesies'. Sometimes it is the exuberance of the speaker that whatever is said is assumed to be for all and sometimes it isn't. Scripture tells us to be certain about prophecy: test the spirits (1 John 4:1), prophets are subject to prophets (1 Corinthians 14:32) and Peter warns us about false prophets (2 Peter 2:1). In many cases, I honestly believe it is our quest to be 'spiritual' that can trip us up - both those who are speaking and those who listen.

  Light, in my world of definitions, is an 'alive' and growing reality. Once we understand and apply it then I believe we walk in our understanding, in the light we have. As you can see, I couple walking in the light with applying understanding. Matthew 5:16 provides us with one of the purposes for walking in the light: "Let your light so shine before me that they may see your good works and glorify our Father in Heaven (Jesus speaking)." And Paul admonishes us in Ephesians 5:8 - "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light." Walk. An action of witness. 

   I had a close relative that was concerned because they hadn't know of or seen the light. I quickly reminded them that they walked in all the light they knew. And as they discovered more they attempted to put into practice the new. Actually, that's what we all need to do. We need to continue to grow in our understanding and we need to walk, confidently, in the light we have.
     "But if we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another,
      and the blood of Jesus Christ His son cleanses us from all sin." (1 John 1:7) "He who
      loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him." (2:10)
  

World View

  World View: the way that someone sees and understands world events, especially in relationship to their religious or political beliefs and ideas. (Dictionary). So the questions are - do you know what your religious and political beliefs and ideas are? Is there a congruence between your religious and political beliefs? One question would be - are your religious beliefs and ideas foundational to your political ones? They should (and yes, that is a value statement). Simple question - are you a born again believer religiously and a liberal politically? Don't really know how this can happen since they seem diametrically opposed.  Trying to marry these two foundations is impossible - like attempting to be a fiscal conservative and a liberal socialist.

   I don't believe we should compartmentalize any of the components that make up who we are. I know we all typically try to: my work life, my family life, etc. However, all these 'components' comprise who you are so by definition (mine) they must interact and influence each other - yes? Otherwise... you get into an oxymoron kind of reality and from that there is extreme difficulty in you making sense of yourself to yourself. We all seek an equilibrium and a sense of congruence; therefore why would we compartmentalize?

  However, your world view... if someone were to observe your words (and how you speak them) and your behavior, would they know? Is your world view written in your life? Simplistically, when you consider a continuum, what does your face 'say' when it comes to your world view. Doom and Gloom? Rose-colored glasses? Those are examples of the two extremes and both should really be avoided. From a slightly different focus, the words out of your mouth will let the listener know where you are at this moment in time on the D-G to R-G continuum. I don't believe anyone stays at one or the other ends of the continuum.

  Why should you be concerned about your world view? Primarily because our world is shrinking, and doing so at an ever increasing rate. Another example: what your view is will influence what you purchase. How? Do you check to see what country is producing the product you are contemplating purchasing? For those of you living in the United States, do you purchase USA products or do you not even think about it. What about the foods you eat? Do you simply buy whatever it is that is on the grocery store's shelf or are you more conscious about buying locally produced items? 

  Your world view does impact, significantly, what you do, how you go about doing what you do, but it is also a conscious and intentional act. Compartmentalizing is going to be increasingly more difficult to do. Then again... if it's you, if it's important to you then your religious beliefs and ideas WILL influence your political thought life which will determine how you respond to the world.

Taken for Granted

  I really do hate being taken for granted! The 'taken for granted' state is nearly equal to assumptions on what I will or will not do and say - actually, who I am. Often a comment such as, "I know you...", is made by someone who has absolutely NO idea of who I am. However, this is also a two-edged sword. What do we (I/you) take for grant about others? We all assume a great deal... and, I suspect, expect a great deal. We do this without thinking twice and we do and expect 'it'. However, simply because 'everyone does it' is not a valid excuse. We need to consider that if we dislike being taken for granted then the person we 'do' this to probably doesn't like it either.

  Do you ever say anything to the person who is taking you for granted? Or have you ever been told that what you think/expect about another isn't accurate? Probably not. Most people don't correct others about a public (or private) pronouncement. And again, do you do this to others? In its simplest form this is presumptuous. In its flagrant form it is dismissive and demeaning. Even if you are right about your assumptions about another's (fill in the blank) it is totally unnecessary to preemptively act on it. And if you are the one in the spotlight, what do you do? What options do you have? 

  Remedy? How does one function in a state that doesn't presume and assume? How do we relate to others since everyone needs some sort of 'order' to their world. That's the dilemma. Maybe it's the 'public' nature of taking others for granted.? Does this hold them up to ridicule? Perhaps it's when we, unintentionally or not, make these public assumptions visible to others that we limit the person we are doing this to? I think this is partially true. Personally, I really try and act toward family and friends as if I knew nothing about their likes, dislikes, etc., at least publicly, because if I have the right to change, to grow, to mature, to make mistakes, to stub my toe... then so do others. At least this is my mindset even when I fail to use it.

  One of my favorite authors wrote, "...remember how easy it can be to walk in our own shoes when we don't have to struggle to put them on." It's about our perspective rather than attempting to see things through other's eyes. What is simple for us... is us, and that also includes those 'things' about our self we don't like. In order to make our world make some sort of sense, we automatically apply our standards, our expectations, etc. and we also apply them to others. We rarely, if ever, walk in other's shoes. This is another area that we have to be intentional about. The delightful surprise is that in the process of trying to not take others for granted, we can discover someone brand new... and also ourselves.

Before and After

  We all use scripture to confirm our point, our position. I believe that what the Lord taught me was that it is critical to read before and after the scripture verse that I 'liked'. Sometimes I discovered ‘conditions’ to the verse and sometimes I discovered an entirely different way of thinking. The point is – always read the surrounding verses that are in context with the verse on which you are standing.

  A different but related issue is that sometimes we take a portion of a verse to ‘claim’. Same problem – we need to read in context whatever it is we need and believe. Example: Romans 8:1 – “There is now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus…” Many of us found great assurance in these words. I did and still do. However… the rest of the verse reads,”…who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit.” A condition.

  In chapter 7 Paul is teaching about the limitation of the law, that it isn’t able to save. Paul begins to talk about what is available to those who make Jesus Lord. He begins with a powerful statement when he says that there is now NO condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus but also that we need to be spiritually minded and not carnally. Then Paul teaches an even greater truth - that we have Sonship and are adopted into the Family of God. All in all, a most powerful teaching (and in only 17 verses).  

  After discussing that things working to our good, he tells us that if God be for us, who can be against us, and ends this chapter with the powerful statement that nothing will separate us from God. God can work for us, work things to our good but only when we believe and act on this. It is our knowledge and our willingness to act that can demonstrates our love, our trust.

  
  Most of the scriptures that we discover and use as a foundation we stand on always need to be considered in context with the surrounding scriptures. Obviously, some scriptures seem to be ‘complete’ in and of themselves. Or appear to, but still, it should be the complete thought that we focus on rather than on only a portion of the verse. I’ve discovered that when we only focus on a portion of the scripture that we don’t discover the full truth that is available for us. Before and After is as important as the main point.

'known' and change ...

  You aren't who you were and you are on a path to who you are becoming. And yes, that is an obvious statement. But look at yourself right now and look at who you were 5 years ago... what's the same and what has changed? Do you like the changes? And a quick 'of course' is not a valid response. Whether or not you like the difference, do you see how you got to where you are? Because, your path is nearly as important as your yesterday (known) to (change) who you are becoming. 

  In terms of definitions, what I'm meaning as 'known' is what and who you understand and accept as 'you' regardless of whether or not you are pleased. What I mean as 'change' is to view all your what's and who's as a process. We are always changing in little as well as significant ways. The question is whether or not we take the time to see and understand our process? Are we so involved in the process that we don't see? When does the change become the new known? 

  There was an interesting statement in a book that I'm reading: "...everything that a person does, or says, or thinks, causes that person to change - even if it's just a little bit at a time. And then after many years, all those little changes can add up to a big change." (Clara Benson) So whether large or 'little' it appears that change is inevitable, you can never hold onto now in a vice-like grip. Are you aware of yours? In reviewing the 'events' and your response do you see how you've come to where you are?

  Without question we need to take moments to reflect - they won't necessarily be offered, sometimes you simply have to choose to take the time, regardless of the demands, to reflect on your knowns and emerging knowns. We really need to be intentional and conscious of our life: our goals, aspirations, dreams, hopes and the people who populate our world. Life is really to be lived which is implies it is to be experienced at the moment and not with just a by-stander mentality. 

  Who 'controls' your known, your change becomes a paramount decision. Your accountability will be to the one who controls. Is it you? Is it others? Is it events? It always is who you choose as Lord.  Jesus is the only viable choice. It is He who has purchased your life and He who will guide you through your current 'known' through all your change to who you are becoming.

Pay Attention!!!

  Is that a phrase that you recall from when you were a child? And was it true? Were you not paying attention to whoever or whatever was happening? Do others still accuse you of not paying attention? The question that immediately pops to mind is - how would someone else know you weren't paying attention? Obviously, if they asked you a question based on what they just said and you couldn't respond, this would be a definite give-away. But what non-verbal cues are you giving that says you aren't attentive?

  Fortunately (?) by now I have developed some 'obvious' cues indicating that I am totally immersed by whatever the other person is doing or saying. Yet... there are multiple instances when my mind is so far removed that, if asked, I could never totally bluff it. I suspect the point is - why? Why do we not pay attention? Is this a failing on our part or is it a function of who is speaking or what they are saying/doing? The issue of relevance is a factor. There are times, right or wrong, when we don't value what's being said so we zone off.

  Let me reverse roles a moment and ask you how you feel when you know the other person(s) aren't paying attention to what you are saying/doing? I would suspect that irritation would definitely be in the mix of your emotions. Do you ever ask the other person(s) to pay attention, though you may not use those precise words. It IS frustrating to be on the recipient end of lack of attention. But, do you ever look to the cause of this dilemma? If you consider when and why you don't pay attention perhaps you'll get clues as to why others may not be paying attention to you.

  While no one expects that everyone will hang on their every word, there are moments when we feel that what we are about to say is critically important. If true, then it is our responsibility to make that very clear prior to saying/doing (fill in the blank). Let's face it - we live in a noisy world and we sometimes don't consider what we say before we say it. That's a given for everyone. Perhaps if we spoke less fluff this wouldn't be the case but that's not going to happen anytime soon. Personally I try and avoid those mindless conversations and engage in those that really are interesting. More important, I try and not begin chit chatty ones. Scripture tells us that we will be held accountable for every idle word we say (Matthew 12:36) and then Jesus goes on to say, "For by your words you will be justified and by your words you will be condemned." (v.37) This puts an entirely different context to what we say. And this will affect our listeners.