Hurt and Healed: Hurt

Part 1 Hurt 

  I read (or heard) a phrase that really captured me. “Hurt people hurt people. Healed people heal people.” I have no idea who to credit this to but goodness, what a picture is painted. If you say that this is obvious and rather simple - I’m not so sure. Sometimes it is the obvious and simple that is the most profound. And, in 4 words there is ample opportunity for multiple understandings.

  How do you react when you are around people who are obviously hurt? With platitudes and then make as quick an escape as possible. But as Christians, that’s not how we should respond. If ever there is should be a hallmark to our behavior, the word is compassion. And compassion is an act. In the moment that hurt is recognized and acknowledged in another we can extend compassion... even when they are wrong. Dealing with the 'right'/'wrong' will be necessary but we don't have to wound our wounded.

   “Rejoice with those who rejoice [sharing others’ joy], and weep with those who weep [sharing others’ grief]." [Romans 12:15]

   "Carry one another’s burdens and in this way you will fulfill the requirements of the law of Christ [that is, the law of Christian love].  ...

But each one must carefully scrutinize his own work [examining his actions, attitudes, and behavior], and then he can have the personal satisfaction and inner joy of doing something commendable without comparing himself to another. For every person will have to bear [with patience] his own burden [of faults and shortcomings for which he alone is responsible]." (Galatians 6:2-5)

  I am confident of one thing - don’t try to ‘fix’ them. Sometimes they just want to be able to talk, some just want the quiet touch of a hug. Others don’t want anything other than a quiet presence. Give according to their need, not how you want to be comforted. And, how many times have we seen (and experienced) a lashing out by that hurt person. Grant them the grace that you would want in these circumstances.

   Other side of the coin: have you ever been that hurt person? And have you (often angrily) reacted by hurting the person who is, typically somewhat awkwardly, trying to console you? And, I suspect, you sometimes recognize this but, needing to get the emotion expressed, continue. We all are blameless. But being 'brave' or 'stoic' doesn't always meet our need. 

  Scriptures that speak to hurt whether ours or another:

   "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; he rescues those whose spirits are crushed." [Psalms 34:18, NLT]

   "The Lord is near to the heartbroken And He saves those who are crushed in spirit (contrite in heart, truly sorry for their sin)." [AMP]

When I first read the verse in Psalms I could see 2 different types: one is the person crushed from the outside and the other from their own actions. And this is the reality of 'hurt' - we can experience it from someone else but we can also experience it as a reaction to what we have done. Never assume the source, in someone else, of the hurt.

 The Lord gives us a promise when we are hurt that we can choose to follow or continue to wallow in our feelings:

   "I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you [who are willing to learn] with My eye upon you." [Psalms 32:8]

This is almost a description of one of the gifts the Lord brings with His promise to never leave us - how to handle hurt.