Wounded Healer

  [I wrote, in 2015, on the issue that we are all wounded healers at least in some areas of our Christian walk, but I am building on my initial post.]

Does 'wounded healer' describe you? Or are you only wounded? Do you feel a pain that goes so deep that it seems to be beyond even touching it, almost like it is impossible to reach the bottom? Do you hold that pain close to you, hoping you aren't jarred? I remember when I first became a Christian (different from a christian) that I heard from others that Christians were the only ones that shot their wounded. Sadly, I discovered that in all too many cases this was true. 

But why? Why do we do that to our brothers and sisters? Even in the world, when someone is injured or wounded in some way, many people attempt to help the individual get to a doctor in order to receive the needed help. So, why don't we act this way toward others, especially fellow believers? Whenever the need for correction and regardless of the individual receiving the correction - anger, belittling, humiliating, and not restoring the erring brother to fellowship is never the proper action. 

If we are the wounded then our feelings become heightened during these times. The reaction of brothers and sisters can make us feel rejected or worse, betrayed. While it never is helpful, we also tend to wallow a bit in our plight. I'm not certain that the intent is to gain further commiseration, I think it's partly a method to understand what is happening and why. Why did we get wounded!?! And what is the source? The hope is in the form of another reality - we are all wounded healers. 

Look to Jesus' words:

   "I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too are to love one another. By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you have love and unselfish concern for one another.” [John 13:34-35]

These scriptures are specific - being know by love is a wonderful 'quality' and it is a command (John 13:34 - the key to understanding this and other statements about love is to know that this love (the Greek word agape) is not so much a matter of emotion as it is of doing things for the benefit of another person, that is, having an unselfish concern for another and a willingness to seek the best for another.)

I know we are to love the brethren - Jesus' words are that His disciples would be known by their love (John 13:35). And when/if they are in error we are to correct one another (2 Timothy 2:23-26, Galatians 6:1, Colossians 3:13, and Ephesians 4:2 - among others). This is a confirmation, NOT abrogation, of our responsibility to speak the truth, especially if error is involved. While speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) is the intent, it may not be perceived that way. Never an excuse.

I think the lesson(s) I've learned is that we all, in some way, may be wounded healers so I need to hear correction from others in this way. It also gives me clues about my 'how' of correcting error I see - gently, firmly, in love, and with scriptures that support the correction. 
 

Compassion

… is a verb, not a noun. We have as our example, our model - Jesus. There are many scriptures talking about Jesus showing compassion and doing something. Compassion is an action verb, it doesn’t just commiserate! Empathy is wonderful but compassion is so much more. 

Abundant Life (https://livingproof.co/what-is-biblical-compassion/#:~:text=

Compassion%20in%20the%20Bible%20can,giving%20to%20those%20in%20need.) states:

   [[ "If God is compassionate, and you are made in His image, then you too are to exhibit compassion. Have you ever felt as though you were a sheep without a shepherd? God felt compassion for you (Matthew 9:36). As a result, you have likely been moved by deep compassion. Perhaps someone has wronged you. Perhaps someone who seems undeserving needs your forgiveness. Ephesians 4:32 reminds us that we must be kind to one another, forgiving each other because Christ forgave us.

The truth of God’s compassion transforms us. When we see others who are suffering, in need, and desperate to know the love of God in a practical way, let's decide to exhibit Biblical compassion—feeling and acting in a way that displays living proof of a loving God. 

(some) Bible Verses About Biblical Compassion

“But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth.”—Psalm 86:15

“Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness.”—
Lamentations 3:22-23

“The Lord is gracious and full of compassion, slow to anger and great in mercy. The Lord is good to all, and His tender mercies are over all His works.”—
Psalm 145:8

“And the Lord passed before him and proclaimed, ‘The Lord, the Lord God, merciful and gracious, longsuffering, and abounding in goodness and truth, keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin…’”—Exodus 34:6-7

“Therefore, when Jesus saw her weeping, and the Jews who came with her weeping, He groaned in the spirit and was troubled. And He said, ‘Where have you laid him?’ They said to Him, ‘Lord, come and see.’ Jesus wept. Then the Jews said, ‘See how He loved him!’”—John 11:33-36

“And when Jesus went out He saw a great multitude; and He was moved with compassion for them, and healed their sick.”—Matthew 14:14

“Now a leper came to Him, imploring Him, kneeling down to Him and saying to Him, ‘If You are willing, You can make me clean.’ Then Jesus, moved with compassion, stretched out His hand and touched him, and said to him, ‘I am willing; be cleansed.’”—Mark 1:40-41

“Therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, put on tender mercies, kindness, humility, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another, if anyone has a complaint against another; even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do.”—Colossians 3:12-13
 

“But the Lord was gracious to them, had compassion on them, and regarded them, because of His covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and would not yet destroy them or cast them from His presence.”—2 Kings 13:23" ]]

This gives us an understanding of what compassion is - it DOES. These verses show us how we should respond, what we can do. When you look at the Colossian verses, we see how the Father responds to us by telling us what compassion looks like: mercy, kindness, forgiving. These are all attitudes and actions we do. And this should be what we seek in our times of need. 'Oh woe's me' does sound good for a moment... but it does little to affect the need. If all you're willing to do is to cry with the other person or pat them on the back or give some trite expression - save your breath. 

Missing

Nostalgia is lovely. Reminiscing is like a warm blanket on a cold day - warm fuzzies.  The old saying goes that you can never go back home. Nonsense. In your thoughts and memories you can. Some of us remember everything - the good and the bad, some of us remember only the bad, and some of us remember only the good. I think I camp in the last remembering. Quite honestly, I love sharing the 'good old days', because for me - they were. So I have no problem sharing my 'then'.

However, they can get in our way and we miss what's happening around us right now. I really don't want to do this because right now will become that reminiscing in the years that come. What is your view of all this - are you the nostalgia type? Do you use nostalgia to replace the pain of now? I would hope for the first question and pray that the second isn't yours. Nostalgia was never meant to replace, it is to celebrate and enjoy what was.

Now is important. And, if it isn't what you want it to be, can you help create closer to what you want? And if that's also a 'no' then make nostalgia times in your day but don't get bummed by what is (when it isn't what you want) you could be missing something 'good'. 

One thing that definitely dictates the nostalgia is the people that populate the memories. If they aren't positive influencers in your life then, then they can't be now. People are really the content of the memories. But you also have to 'let them go' or all you'll do is cry over what you are missing. If you didn't miss it then (and memories kinda tell that story), you won't miss it now. 

Miss the yesterday? It's OK, just don't try and live in your yesterday missed. Let it go and make memories of now. Missing now is truly sad, and once gone, never available again. But you can stop the missing by focusing on the blessings you have in your life now. Celebrate them. 

Blessed

When I stop long enough to breathe in and breathe out, when I look, really look around me; and when I hear all the sounds that accent the sight - then I am almost overwhelmed by how blessed I am. The word tells me:

   "Blessed and worthy of praise be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms in Christ," [Ephesians 1:3]

Blessed with EVERY spiritual blessing... too often we stop at the 'punch line' only to discover that the verses that come before and/or after give us even greater understanding and appreciation. This is one of those cases. Read on:

... just as [in His love] He chose us in Christ [actually selected us for Himself as His own] before the foundation of the world, so that we would be holy [that is, consecrated, set apart for Him, purpose-driven] and blameless in His sight. In love He predestined and lovingly planned for us to be adopted to Himself as [His own] children through Jesus Christ, in accordance with the kind intention and good pleasure of His will— to the praise of His glorious grace and favor, which He so freely bestowed on us in the Beloved [His Son, Jesus Christ]. In Him we have redemption [that is, our deliverance and salvation] through His blood, [which paid the penalty for our sin and resulted in] the forgiveness and complete pardon of our sin, in accordance with the riches of His grace which He lavished on us. In all wisdom and understanding [with practical insight] He made known to us the mystery of His will according to His good pleasure, which He purposed in Christ, with regard to the fulfillment of the times [that is, the end of history, the climax of the ages]—to bring all things together in Christ, [both] things in the heavens and things on the earth." [v. 4-10]

I probably could have highlighted this entire text but I chose the ones that still astonish me that in accepting Jesus as my Lord, are part and parcel of accepting the FREE gift of salvation in Jesus. This realization enhances all that I read that become my new identity, my new me in Him. 

And still... it is my choice to accept and act on all of that as well. Astounding as that sentence is - it is true. The Creator God, who created the Universe and everything in it also granted His creation free will. We can choose to accept what He gives us, what He plans for us - all our choice. Even after we accept His gift of salvation - we can still choose to stay as babies. Remarkable. 

Why would we not accept all that He provides? Good question. There are as many reasons as there are those who don't act on who they've become, what they can do. Fear, accepting satan's lies, unsure, etc. are some of the reasons (excuses). We always can choose the higher ground or stay where we are - but goodness - our loss. 

Yes we are blessed. Yes, with every spiritual blessing. However, it is our choice to act on the blessing. You can't ignore it, you can't hide, it may be 'silent' but you know what's available. The word tells us:

   "When He saw the crowds, He was moved with compassion and pity for them, because they were dispirited and distressed, like sheep without a shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest is [indeed] plentiful, but the workers are few. So pray to the Lord of the harvest to send out workers into His harvest.” [Matthew 9: 36-38]

Jesus had compassion and pity - do we? Will we answer His call about the harvest being plentiful but the workers few? We have been blessed... will we extend the hand of truth and freedom to others - a family member, a friend, a neighbor, a co-worker, and yes, even unto the ends of the world? It is our choice. 

Building a Relationship?

Question #1. Do you want to build a relationship with the Lord? Not… should I, could I but... want. Actually, this is the first question. Because if you don’t want to - you won’t.
#2. Do you think the Lord wants to build a relationship with you? How do you know He does or doesn't?

#3. How do you build a relationship?

Related to these questions is the following quote on a post on Facebook. I don't know who first said (wish I had).

   "God is still writing your story. Don't try to steal the pen Trust the Author."

That's brilliant because it does kind of mirror our thoughts and behaviors, whether or not we want to admit it. It's not that we don't want to build a relationship, it's more of a 'what's this going to cost me'? We do that rather than looking at what we gain. Plus... in a way you began building your relationship when you accepted Jesus as your Lord.

If your hesitation or wondering is based in the 2nd question - ask yourself why would the Lord go to all the trouble to tell us this in the Bible in so many different ways. Such as:

   "...for He has said, “I will never [under any circumstances] desert you [nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless], nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you [assuredly not]!” [Hebrews 13:5]

   "Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above; it comes down from the Father of lights [the Creator and Sustainer of the heavens], in whom there is no variation [no rising or setting] or shadow cast by His turning [for He is perfect and never changes]."  [James 1:17]

 

   "Blessed and worthy of praise be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms in Christ,"  [Ephesians 1:3]

Those are only 3 of the hundreds of ways Father God is telling His people that He cares for them and wants to be in relationship with Him.

If your questioning is based in #3 then it's really much simpler than you might think. If you were to begin a relationship with anyone, what might you do first? Find out what they wanted, what they enjoyed doing...

   "He has told you, O man, what is good; And what does the Lord require of you

Except to be just, and to love [and to diligently practice] kindness (compassion),

And to walk humbly with your God [setting aside any overblown sense of importance or self-righteousness]?"  [Micha 6:8]

   "And Jesus replied to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ 38 This is the first and greatest commandment."  [Matthew 22L36-37]

                                            And

   "I am giving you a new commandment, that you love one another. Just as I have loved you, so you too are to love one another. By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you have love and unselfish concern for one another.”

[Matthew 13:34-35]

This is the beginning of building a relationship. It is knowing the Father from His Word and continuing to build on your understandings. Love is always the motivation for what the Lord does and how He does it. It is the foundation to relationship.

Holidays

So, what's your opinion about holidays? For 'em or agin 'em? Most holidays are more than just a day off from work... at least for those who don't have to work holidays. When it's a Christian holiday (my definition) then there really aren't that many: Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter. And yes... there are a great many other holidays, but these 3, especially, spell f-a-m-i-l-y, at least in my world.

For a moment, look at Holidays from my perspective, my definitions. Admittedly, it is quite 'old fashion' - no apologies. First... holidays meant family. Probably should be second though. Second... holidays meant church, the avenue to praise the Lord for His hand of provision and protection. And third... holidays meant FOOD. My Mom was the world's greatest cook and she really shined during holidays. (You may argue that your Mom, Dad was the greatest cook - go for it. I just know mine was.)

Holidays meant laughter and the wonderful aromas coming from the kitchen. When it was Thanksgiving, it was a kinda dual activity with both Mom and Dad being involved, though Dad's activity was carving the turkey he never could resist cutting ever so slightly a bit of the bird 'to test it out'. Ya right. Mom would always make a mild comment about the cut letting all the juices out. It seemed to be a game they always played.

I can't even begin to talk about all the food she prepared from the homemade rolls to the apple or pumpkin or pecan (or all) desserts. And it wasn't just our family, the extended family was included which meant both Mom and Dad's Moms and my Uncle. As I look back I think I liked the times when I was much younger and we had no TV so Mom wouldn't have to try and time dinner to the halftime.

As I said... we talked, we laughed and we ate!

Christmas was even more grand. Same people, same cook. The meat dish would never be ham - that was for Easter. It wasn't chicken either - we had that or a roast on some Sundays. Sometimes it was a turkey again - but no one complained. In later years it often was a Prime Rib - and my mouth is watering so I best move on quickly. 

But in both of these holidays the salad and/or veg was typically brought by my Grandmothers. I still remember the cut up cranberries with small marshmallows and small pieces of walnut and celery with the lightest of dressings. My grand also made a ... I think it's called a Waldorf salad which was excellent too. Once in awhile one or other of the grands would try out a new recipe on us.  

Yes... holidays are more than just eating. But it's what goes on around the table as we eat. Ultimately, for me, holidays are all about having the opportunity to engage in relationship building. In this case, relationships are expressed in the holiday words and actions. All good memories. What I wouldn't give for just one holiday with yesterday blended with today. With those who have gone home to be with the Lord with those who are just beginning their journey. That will happen one day at the sound of the trumpet.

It's 2024 and we're heading into the Thanksgiving Holiday. I hope it is filled with laughter and joy, peace and hope for you. I realize that my reminiscing was rather heavy on the food end, but it inextricably tied to people and relationships.

And all that begins in our relationship with the Lord. It is our gratefulness for the Lord's hand of mercy and grace extended to us. It is the peace and joy of knowing Jesus will return... and soon and take His bride, the church, back with Him. It's the smile of welcome from a friend, the giggle from a child watching the expressions of love. And that begins the litany. If you don't know Jesus as your Lord - you can. And even if you're alone during the holidays, they can be filled with all the wonder of your salvation and the strength you receive to keep on going and touching lives with His love. Yes... we do have a great deal to be thankful for that the holidays remind us of... as long as our eyes don't stay on our condition, ourselves.

Our Faith

Look at the (multiple) times Jesus responded to His own disciples about their faith...Luke 8:25   " And He said to them, “Where is your faith [your confidence in Me]?” (That particular time was when they all were in the boat and a storm came up. Add to all this question:

   " And will not [our just] God defend and avenge His elect [His chosen ones] who cry out to Him day and night? Will He delay [in providing justice] on their behalf? I tell you that He will defend and avenge them quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find [this kind of persistent] faith on the earth?”

[Luke 18:7-8]

Do you remember the scripture telling us that we are surrounded by such a cloud of witnesses (Hebrews 11-12)? Have you ever thought about what they are doing? Just standing there? Why? What’s the and their reason? Do they poke the one next to them and say ‘… that’s going to be a disaster if they continue’, or ‘why would anyone make such a choice’, or ‘can you believe that’??? Of course they aren’t criticizing - so why are they there and what are they doing!!! If you read those chapters you see that they had placed their faith in God. But God, in His mercy, was waiting for US! So were they complaining to Him instead? No. 

The question in all this is faith. Where is our faith? I grant you that perhaps we aren't the strongest faith filled people, but how much do we need to remember the countless times the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit have acted on our behalf before we rely on the world or other secular/carnal things? So why are we such wimps (most of us, much of the time) when it comes to our faith? It isn't that we don't have evidences of the Lord's words and actions. Remember Hebrews 13:8? If He said it... it's a done deal - He'll do it. But do read both before and after the verse you're standing on... you're not just an observer or a 'bystander'.

   "For the [true] love of God is this: that we habitually keep His commandments and remain focused on His precepts. And His commandments and His precepts are not difficult [to obey]. For everyone born of God is victorious and overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has conquered and overcome the world—our [continuing, persistent] faith [in Jesus the Son of God]."  (1 John 5:3-4)

Two of the more important comments God makes about His Word:

   "So will My word be which goes out of My mouth; It will not return to Me void (useless, without result), Without accomplishing what I desire, And without succeeding in the matter for which I sent it."  [Isaiah 55:11]

   "But Jesus replied, “It is written and forever remains written, ‘Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes out of the mouth of God.’” [Matthew 4:4]  

And what is scripture - the WORD OF GOD. While we may not always understand or appreciate what is said, there is no room for individual determination about what is or is not IS NOT an option. Often, too, we find other scriptures that provide understanding. Point being the Bible IS the Bible and is the basis for our faith and growing in faith.  While scripture says:

   "And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be [a]transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you]. For by the grace [of God] given to me I say to everyone of you not to think more highly of himself [and of his importance and ability] than he ought to think; but to think so as to have sound judgment, as God has apportioned to each a degree of faith [and a purpose designed for service].  (Romans 12:2-3]

 [look also at Acts 3:16, Philippians 1:29, 2 Peter 1:1].

Believe it or not... I'm quoting what Google says:

   "“The measure of faith” is the same for every believer, and it is the same faith that Jesus possessed. Different believers may have developed and strengthened their faith over time and by the Word, but their faith is no different than yours. You have that same capability."

While I'm tempted to bold, highlight, italicize, underling that entire paragraph, the point would get lost in all of that. But do see that if someone else appears to have 'more' faith than you, it's because they have taken the time to continually develop and strengthen their faith. 

We ALL start from the same beginning anointing of faith. What we do with it is how we grow.