Do you ever look back? Not the nostalgia looking back and reminiscing... nor the 'if I only knew' looking back. The looking back, momentarily, to see where you were and the path you took to get where you are. Are you ever surprised? Most of us are but it isn't always a negative surprise. And as you look back you can see what events and decisions you made that got you where you are. Some good. Some bad...
Another way of phrasing this is: are you a mindless interactor with your life or a proactive director? I realize that could sound harsh but all of us have met people that seem to meander through life. I do not recommend it. You may not experience many 'losses' but you also can't take credit for the successes. There is another way... stopping, occasionally, to see not only what decisions you made that got you to where you are now but the impacting forces and influences that occurred, especially the influences. Is there a pattern?
There's a saying that you can never go back. Not sure why unless you expect the people and place to have not changed - that would never happen. But... you can return and rediscover. The same idea holds in looking back - you can look back to see what was happening around you and in you. Not to retrace or 'undo' but to understand. If you discern patterns of people or people-types or situations then, if successful, you can apply or, if unsuccessful, develop new ways of responding. It will not be the same but it can be similar.
Looking back can be extremely self revealing because it displays to you all of you: your who, your why. It doesn't need to be self irritating because you made the 'wrong' decision. It doesn't need to be embarrassing, you're the only one who is involved. It can also be self affirming when you concur, now, with what you did and why. And it can be self actualizing as you see how you handled yourself in the midst of stress and success.
...but what do you think?
Friday, October 5, 2012
Tuesday, October 2, 2012
Light bulbs
I love light bulbs! They are the "Eurekas!" in life. The time when suddenly the pieces of the puzzle you've been working on suddenly fall into place and the picture emerges. Those are euphoric times! I grant you that this all sounds fatuous or worse, slightly tongue-in-cheek, but I'm quite serious - light bulbs are fantastic. However, their lifespans are extremely short as we are quick to move on to the next step or the next problem.
Part of the reason for the allure of light bulbs is what they demonstrate - light coming into a situation of confusion or at least lack of clarity. Recall your own feelings when the apparent mess in front of you suddenly shows a distinct pattern or plan for accomplishment. This became the added impetus to complete the project. Yes? Actually, I can't think of a single negative associated with light bulbs other then their life expectancy is short.
But... in the midst of the muddy picture what can you do to create your needed light bulb quicker? Or is it merely a process that comes...? The answer, of course, is that it depends on the person. It isn't so much a function of the 'problem' as it is in the methodology of the problem-solver. Each person has their own way to light bulbs but unfortunately most people don't take the time to know their own approach to solution.
For example: when I find myself in the situation where I really need a answer soon but am not completely confident in the direction the 'project' is going, I stop. Before heading in a direction that will require backing up and thus wasting time, energy, resources I try and take some time, alone, to first - do nothing. And after I've had some separation time, I look at the puzzle again to see if something emerges that I hadn't seen before. Many times... it does. If it doesn't then I begin to bring others into the resolution time. In one or the other of these approaches... Eureka! I do love light bulbs!
...but, what do you think?
Part of the reason for the allure of light bulbs is what they demonstrate - light coming into a situation of confusion or at least lack of clarity. Recall your own feelings when the apparent mess in front of you suddenly shows a distinct pattern or plan for accomplishment. This became the added impetus to complete the project. Yes? Actually, I can't think of a single negative associated with light bulbs other then their life expectancy is short.
But... in the midst of the muddy picture what can you do to create your needed light bulb quicker? Or is it merely a process that comes...? The answer, of course, is that it depends on the person. It isn't so much a function of the 'problem' as it is in the methodology of the problem-solver. Each person has their own way to light bulbs but unfortunately most people don't take the time to know their own approach to solution.
For example: when I find myself in the situation where I really need a answer soon but am not completely confident in the direction the 'project' is going, I stop. Before heading in a direction that will require backing up and thus wasting time, energy, resources I try and take some time, alone, to first - do nothing. And after I've had some separation time, I look at the puzzle again to see if something emerges that I hadn't seen before. Many times... it does. If it doesn't then I begin to bring others into the resolution time. In one or the other of these approaches... Eureka! I do love light bulbs!
...but, what do you think?
Sunday, September 30, 2012
Steward
As a verb, Webster defines steward as a person who: " administers, guides, manages, oversees, supervises, tends," etc. The obvious implication is that this person doesn't actually own whatever is being tended but is trusted and empowered to manage. This thinking should also apply to our spiritual giftings. In fact, scripture tells us that our gifts are for the benefit of all (1Corinthians 12:7) and not our 'own'.
If the gift, though ours, did not come to us as part of who we are but is added into who and what we are, then it is an entirely different mindset. When you read 1 Corinthians 12 you begin to understand more fully that the Giver is God so that we can actually be His workmanship (Ephesians 2:10). And what we are doing, regardless of our gifting, is to help all (Ephesians 4:12-16). In reading scripture, consider when the gift manifests and for what purpose...
This, to me, sharing seems like an obvious conclusion. If not, for what reason are we given gifts and for whose benefit - only ourselves? It is as stewards that we are gifted for others. Do you remember the story of Simon the Sorcerer who tried to buy the gift of laying on of hands from Peter (Acts 8:9-23)? His motives and his method were sinful - the desire to use the power of God for his own gain. When we do 'use' the gift for our own gain, what happens...
A different dilemma occurs when we don't use our gift but covet the other gifts. The obvious question is: why would we want to have a gift other than what's given us and why would we want to have another's gift? Again, 1Corinthians 12:14-27 answers this question. It is together that we combine to be a whole... which is why all are needed, all are important. Remembering that we are gifted as stewards puts our mindset on God rather than ourselves - this places the giftings in the proper perspective.
...but, what do you think?
If the gift, though ours, did not come to us as part of who we are but is added into who and what we are, then it is an entirely different mindset. When you read 1 Corinthians 12 you begin to understand more fully that the Giver is God so that we can actually be His workmanship (Ephesians 2:10). And what we are doing, regardless of our gifting, is to help all (Ephesians 4:12-16). In reading scripture, consider when the gift manifests and for what purpose...
This, to me, sharing seems like an obvious conclusion. If not, for what reason are we given gifts and for whose benefit - only ourselves? It is as stewards that we are gifted for others. Do you remember the story of Simon the Sorcerer who tried to buy the gift of laying on of hands from Peter (Acts 8:9-23)? His motives and his method were sinful - the desire to use the power of God for his own gain. When we do 'use' the gift for our own gain, what happens...
A different dilemma occurs when we don't use our gift but covet the other gifts. The obvious question is: why would we want to have a gift other than what's given us and why would we want to have another's gift? Again, 1Corinthians 12:14-27 answers this question. It is together that we combine to be a whole... which is why all are needed, all are important. Remembering that we are gifted as stewards puts our mindset on God rather than ourselves - this places the giftings in the proper perspective.
...but, what do you think?
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Me v. ... me!?
Do you ever get the feeling that you sometimes are in a battle with yourself? If so, you probably are. The simple way of looking at this seeming oxymoron-type phenomena is that your better self is battling your non better self. Is that possible? Of course and it rarely is comfortable. But looking at this battle in a
simplistic better v. non better is never wise because it can lead to some disastrous and/or dismissive decisions. There are a number of aspects, components that need addressing in order to resolve a Me v. ... me situation.
First... duly note it is your 'non better' not necessarily 'bad' self. If it were only your 'bad' (and yes, we all have that side) then decision making would be clear; regardless of your decision. Next... what are you battling yourself over? Is it to grow you into a better you? Is it a tenet of your personal philosophy? Both are battles worth engaging in. Confusion typically defines this battle, somehow the lines seem to blur. If the battle was a clear good v. bad it would be simple to make the 'right' decision, but when there seem to be other contingencies or options or ramifications then decision making becomes more complicated.
Second... never look at a battle as only philosophical - there always is an application involvement. This is not an idle 'observation' because in any decision making, the philosophical always becomes visible in your actions. The application in the battle of Me v. me can also clarify the battle and why it is occurring now. When attempting to resolve the philosophical consider too, behavior.
Battles rarely are 'spontaneous'... they always emerge as new information, thought impacts on the original tenet. That's why you really can't plan ahead. You need, though, to know what you believe. My point is to never run from these battles as they refine and redefine who you are and why. There are very few things that are in cement thus your beliefs and thoughts will always be challenged. You will always become a better Me in these times.
...but, what do you think?
simplistic better v. non better is never wise because it can lead to some disastrous and/or dismissive decisions. There are a number of aspects, components that need addressing in order to resolve a Me v. ... me situation.
First... duly note it is your 'non better' not necessarily 'bad' self. If it were only your 'bad' (and yes, we all have that side) then decision making would be clear; regardless of your decision. Next... what are you battling yourself over? Is it to grow you into a better you? Is it a tenet of your personal philosophy? Both are battles worth engaging in. Confusion typically defines this battle, somehow the lines seem to blur. If the battle was a clear good v. bad it would be simple to make the 'right' decision, but when there seem to be other contingencies or options or ramifications then decision making becomes more complicated.
Second... never look at a battle as only philosophical - there always is an application involvement. This is not an idle 'observation' because in any decision making, the philosophical always becomes visible in your actions. The application in the battle of Me v. me can also clarify the battle and why it is occurring now. When attempting to resolve the philosophical consider too, behavior.
Battles rarely are 'spontaneous'... they always emerge as new information, thought impacts on the original tenet. That's why you really can't plan ahead. You need, though, to know what you believe. My point is to never run from these battles as they refine and redefine who you are and why. There are very few things that are in cement thus your beliefs and thoughts will always be challenged. You will always become a better Me in these times.
...but, what do you think?
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Cost
The third Law states that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction (Newton). Using that as a guide, another way of applying that law is: there is always a cost in every decision you make. However, many people don't take the time to consider their cost - in the short term, and if there is any long term residual cost. Even if you only classify 'the road not taken', the alternative decision as the cost - there IS a cost... always.
There is no such thing as an 'uncost'. I've become convinced that every act, every stand, every word has a cost - both to do and to not do. Analyzing one's cost in any situation doesn't have to be viewed as a negative. But it shouldn't be ignored either. Part and parcel of decision-making is knowing consequences and ramifications from any action and being prepared to respond to them.
Being blindsided through inadequate preparation is inexcusable. When 'cost analyzing' becomes part of the decision making process then we lessen the chance for lack of success. Also, sometimes we discover that the decision we are about to make shouldn't occur and the other option(s) may be better. In considering cost the obvious detail is how much you are willing and able to pay.
Sometimes the cost of an action really is more than you need, want, or are able to assume. But, had you not taken the time to do the 'cost accounting' you would have experienced a result that, though 'successful', would have come at a price that was greater than necessary. I've never understood the attitude of simply blindly going on and defiantly not analyzing. Why stick your hand in a burning fire when you don't need to? In the final analysis - what's important? You will pay... but how much?
...but what do you believe?
There is no such thing as an 'uncost'. I've become convinced that every act, every stand, every word has a cost - both to do and to not do. Analyzing one's cost in any situation doesn't have to be viewed as a negative. But it shouldn't be ignored either. Part and parcel of decision-making is knowing consequences and ramifications from any action and being prepared to respond to them.
Being blindsided through inadequate preparation is inexcusable. When 'cost analyzing' becomes part of the decision making process then we lessen the chance for lack of success. Also, sometimes we discover that the decision we are about to make shouldn't occur and the other option(s) may be better. In considering cost the obvious detail is how much you are willing and able to pay.
Sometimes the cost of an action really is more than you need, want, or are able to assume. But, had you not taken the time to do the 'cost accounting' you would have experienced a result that, though 'successful', would have come at a price that was greater than necessary. I've never understood the attitude of simply blindly going on and defiantly not analyzing. Why stick your hand in a burning fire when you don't need to? In the final analysis - what's important? You will pay... but how much?
...but what do you believe?
Friday, September 21, 2012
Control-er
Are you a control freak? Of course you are - just like the rest of us! Your 'brand' of control may not be the same as the next person, but let's face it - you want to get your way! If we can agree that everyone controls, wants to control, does what is 'acceptable' to control then maybe we can release some of our need. Perhaps the question should be to what degree can you exert your influence to control???
Control isn't always a 'bad' but it can be limiting. If it always has to be your way, or the extreme of: my way or the highway, then I believe this is crippling. Control is suppose to be an aid - to us, over us but not over others and all situations. When you release your need to control everything then you begin to see other options and opportunities. And yes, some of them are disastrous - but sometimes they prove to be a better way of thinking and acting.
Whether your brand of control is subtle ('suggestions') or blatant (highway), whether it manifests itself as passive aggressive behavior or more obvious forms, the point is - you may be wrong. Imagine that! Quite honestly none of us are the authority on all things at all times. Opinion expressed is not necessarily control nor is it defiance of what you want. Someone else's 'control' may lead you in an entirely different direction, which may not necessarily be bad.
I really am a 'come let us reason together' type. It's not that I'm avoiding confrontation, it's typically that I want the best results. And no, that's not altruistic - it really is quite selfish. I intensely dislike wasting time, energy, money, resources, etc. And no, not necessarily compromise - however, consensus may be the path to the best result. As long as everyone has the opportunity to express their thinking, as long as a reasoned discussion occurs, then I think we are on a less stressful path. Besides, our behavior and words should express consideration and set an example for toleration. If we want to be heard and our opinion considered... then we have to do the same.
...but what do you think?
Control isn't always a 'bad' but it can be limiting. If it always has to be your way, or the extreme of: my way or the highway, then I believe this is crippling. Control is suppose to be an aid - to us, over us but not over others and all situations. When you release your need to control everything then you begin to see other options and opportunities. And yes, some of them are disastrous - but sometimes they prove to be a better way of thinking and acting.
Whether your brand of control is subtle ('suggestions') or blatant (highway), whether it manifests itself as passive aggressive behavior or more obvious forms, the point is - you may be wrong. Imagine that! Quite honestly none of us are the authority on all things at all times. Opinion expressed is not necessarily control nor is it defiance of what you want. Someone else's 'control' may lead you in an entirely different direction, which may not necessarily be bad.
I really am a 'come let us reason together' type. It's not that I'm avoiding confrontation, it's typically that I want the best results. And no, that's not altruistic - it really is quite selfish. I intensely dislike wasting time, energy, money, resources, etc. And no, not necessarily compromise - however, consensus may be the path to the best result. As long as everyone has the opportunity to express their thinking, as long as a reasoned discussion occurs, then I think we are on a less stressful path. Besides, our behavior and words should express consideration and set an example for toleration. If we want to be heard and our opinion considered... then we have to do the same.
...but what do you think?
Wednesday, September 19, 2012
Just right...
When I was growing up I always enjoyed the story about Goldilocks and the 3 Bears. The focus on the porridge being ... just right... appealed to me. The concept is a positive one... isn't it? Isn't being in the right place and doing the right thing (job) and living a right life (no problems of relationships or finance or bad behavior or...) - isn't that worth striving for? Isn't it? However, is it ever possible?
While 'just right' may be something to work toward, the goal - it still may not be attainable. And... what do you do with a 'just right'? This last question may be the salient one - what do you do when you are in a 'just right' place? Rest? Maintain? Do you now have no goals to work for? Is 'perfect' the condition you find yourself in? Absolutely not! It's a resting place yes, but momentary.
'Just right' should give you the information that you really are on the right path for you and now it's time to look around, reassess, refine and move on. Standing still is not something to hold onto, regardless of age. In the first place you'll get run over if you are standing still. Or if you're holding too tightly, you may squeeze the life out of it. But as much as equilibrium is desirable, it rarely is attainable and never for very long.
'Just right' needs to be viewed as what it is - a momentary condition of indeterminate length that is occurring on your way to wherever you are going. Even Goldilocks, after she had consumed the 'just right' porridge had to then deal with the irritated bears. Your journey may also be marked by bears after your 'just right' condition is finished. Enjoy the moment but prepare for the next step too.
...but what do you think?
While 'just right' may be something to work toward, the goal - it still may not be attainable. And... what do you do with a 'just right'? This last question may be the salient one - what do you do when you are in a 'just right' place? Rest? Maintain? Do you now have no goals to work for? Is 'perfect' the condition you find yourself in? Absolutely not! It's a resting place yes, but momentary.
'Just right' should give you the information that you really are on the right path for you and now it's time to look around, reassess, refine and move on. Standing still is not something to hold onto, regardless of age. In the first place you'll get run over if you are standing still. Or if you're holding too tightly, you may squeeze the life out of it. But as much as equilibrium is desirable, it rarely is attainable and never for very long.
'Just right' needs to be viewed as what it is - a momentary condition of indeterminate length that is occurring on your way to wherever you are going. Even Goldilocks, after she had consumed the 'just right' porridge had to then deal with the irritated bears. Your journey may also be marked by bears after your 'just right' condition is finished. Enjoy the moment but prepare for the next step too.
...but what do you think?
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