Do you ever get the feeling that the battle you are currently fighting is all too familiar? A kind of déjà vu and not pleasant? I can't speak for you but when I find an uncomfortable similarity I get extremely irritated. Something that I thought I had overcome has come back and is attacking me again. Where did I allow a re-entrance??? Or what part of the obstacle have I not addressed?
The reality that we tend to forget when we have overcome an obstacle in our lives is that it never goes quietly! Simply because we have won a victory doesn't mean that we have necessarily won the war. We must stay on guard because an obstacle enjoys its preeminence and will try a different avenue when it appears it has been defeated. Obstacles also need to know they are defeated with a capital 'D' not just a momentary success.
Overcoming gives us a sense of relief and exultation. However, once we have done the emotional and spiritual 'high five', we really do need to assess if we've completely overcome. But the joy of the moment can deflect us from this task. One enormous clue of total victory is if we don't have any relapses. If there is then we need to look at what we haven't overcome and meet it head on.
I really don't view battles and obstacles as totally negative. They can be seen as growth points, areas in which my personal walk improves, another overcoming victory. If I am experiencing no battles, no relapses, no obstacles... am I standing still? I have assignments to fulfill as do you and if I'm not facing any opposition, am I completing this assignment? Perhaps. But the critical thing is that we all are soldiers and are expected to present ourselves, prepared to do the work. Battles are a fact of life. But so are overcoming victories!
...but what do you think?
Monday, September 17, 2012
Saturday, September 15, 2012
No one seems to care that I care...
Long title. But have you ever found yourself in the position where you care but it really doesn't seem to make any difference... to anyone... that you do? Quite frustrating. And when you find yourself in that position does it make you wonder if you should? Of course not. If you care... you care. End of sentence. But now what?
Admittedly I sometimes find myself surprised at me over what I do care about. Rarely is it those life size issues/philosophies/people that I passionately care about that surprise me - it's the 'little' things that creep up that expose these care-ables (yes, that's a word I just coined it if it isn't). But they really aren't 'little' if you care about them. What would be classified as a 'little'? Those things that really will not make a difference 'in the scheme of things' but you care anyway. Example: the outcome of a game, the who wins/loses. A month from now will you remember? Perhaps... but so what?
Remember, caring about something/one can lead to a passion - is that what you want? Warning: choose your passions carefully for passions will direct you. Can you stop a 'care' from becoming a passion? Actually, you can. But do remember that a 'little' care can grow into a major care. A 'major care' by definition means that you will do something: such as give of your time or money or both.
Caring is never a 'little' thing though what you care about might. Caring can be a positive force in our lives unless instead of a passion it becomes an obsession. Obsessions are never positive and they can consume everything around us. A passion, on the other hand, comes from reason, though there are those who may argue that point.The lovely thing about caring is that it typically is directed toward the good for others, even when no one seems to care that you care. Then again... that's my definition.
...but what do you think?
Admittedly I sometimes find myself surprised at me over what I do care about. Rarely is it those life size issues/philosophies/people that I passionately care about that surprise me - it's the 'little' things that creep up that expose these care-ables (yes, that's a word I just coined it if it isn't). But they really aren't 'little' if you care about them. What would be classified as a 'little'? Those things that really will not make a difference 'in the scheme of things' but you care anyway. Example: the outcome of a game, the who wins/loses. A month from now will you remember? Perhaps... but so what?
Remember, caring about something/one can lead to a passion - is that what you want? Warning: choose your passions carefully for passions will direct you. Can you stop a 'care' from becoming a passion? Actually, you can. But do remember that a 'little' care can grow into a major care. A 'major care' by definition means that you will do something: such as give of your time or money or both.
Caring is never a 'little' thing though what you care about might. Caring can be a positive force in our lives unless instead of a passion it becomes an obsession. Obsessions are never positive and they can consume everything around us. A passion, on the other hand, comes from reason, though there are those who may argue that point.The lovely thing about caring is that it typically is directed toward the good for others, even when no one seems to care that you care. Then again... that's my definition.
...but what do you think?
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
BLAME
Why is it everyone, and I do mean everyone, always seeks to place blame?! It's her fault, or his, or theirs, and even inanimate things don't escape - didn't have enough time, money, people, etc. Whenever there is the possibility of negative consequences, immediately most people starting looking for someone/something to indicate as the reason for the poor results. And analyzing the situation always comes late to the party... after the attempt to cast blame.
I believe that one of the important aspects is to realize and understand is that sometimes things happen that cause poor results but no one is the focal point of fault, it's merely the result of a variety of reasons. And yes, sometimes there are people and/or things that are the reason for the problem(s). However, without a reasoned review of why and where things 'went wrong', it really is impossible to understand what and why whatever happened.
Pointing the finger of 'blame' rarely accomplishes anything unless the goal is to embarrass a co-worker... it rarely totally deflects attention from one's own contributions. Besides, if you are at fault then admit it, see how you can learn from it, and move on. If it's another's fault then helping them to see the error in order to move on is the only appropriate behavior, otherwise they will become defensive. The only effect use of 'blame' is to be able to develop strategies to ward against it. We should all be seeking to analyze and develop options.
Blame can be a tool or it can devolve into time wasting time behaviors. Obviously, if the ineffective behavior is repetitive or the individual is unwilling to admit error then the options to resolve the personnel component are few. But these are also 'teachable moments' - dependent upon the environmental milieu you live or work in. And if you are blaming yourself... what else are you doing? Are you also moving forward and learning from it?
... but what do you believe?
I believe that one of the important aspects is to realize and understand is that sometimes things happen that cause poor results but no one is the focal point of fault, it's merely the result of a variety of reasons. And yes, sometimes there are people and/or things that are the reason for the problem(s). However, without a reasoned review of why and where things 'went wrong', it really is impossible to understand what and why whatever happened.
Pointing the finger of 'blame' rarely accomplishes anything unless the goal is to embarrass a co-worker... it rarely totally deflects attention from one's own contributions. Besides, if you are at fault then admit it, see how you can learn from it, and move on. If it's another's fault then helping them to see the error in order to move on is the only appropriate behavior, otherwise they will become defensive. The only effect use of 'blame' is to be able to develop strategies to ward against it. We should all be seeking to analyze and develop options.
Blame can be a tool or it can devolve into time wasting time behaviors. Obviously, if the ineffective behavior is repetitive or the individual is unwilling to admit error then the options to resolve the personnel component are few. But these are also 'teachable moments' - dependent upon the environmental milieu you live or work in. And if you are blaming yourself... what else are you doing? Are you also moving forward and learning from it?
... but what do you believe?
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Handling doubt
Doubt is and it is insidious. We all face it... or try and run from it, but it's always hovering if it isn't present in some form of strength. What do we do with doubt? Actually... what IS doubt? Webster says that doubt is: "uncertainty of belief or opinion that often interferes with decision-making." A simpler way of stating it is that doubt is "a lack of confidence". And this 'lack' makes it difficult to act - that's the primary problem: doubt handling us rather than us handling doubt.
For some people doubt is totally incapacitating, interfering with rational decision making. Because doubt does not necessarily have any relationship to logic or even fact, a kind of crippling condition that can consume. But if we ignore or deny or attempt to avoid/evade doubt - it grows. And the growth of doubt makes it doubly hard to deal with. The close mate of doubt is worry. Are you a worrier? Does your doubt lead you to worry... or does your worry lead you to doubt?
Facing doubt head on typically is the only way to disperse it. The issue is one of control - you, leading to resolution or doubt leading to panic. So how do you meet it? You take a good hard look at the 'why' of your doubt. What is the foundation for the doubt? Perhaps something IS happening that is warning you not to continue or to take a different avenue. If you change how you react to doubt you may have discovered a new way to respond to changes in your environment.
Doubt actually does have positive benefits as long as you aren't reacting with panic or fear to your doubts.Panic or fear only leads to chaos and accomplishes nothing. By contrast, when you discover the 'why' the doubt exists then you can take corrective steps based on the best possible resolution. In this latter scenario - it is you who is handling rather than being handled by doubt.
...but what do you think?
For some people doubt is totally incapacitating, interfering with rational decision making. Because doubt does not necessarily have any relationship to logic or even fact, a kind of crippling condition that can consume. But if we ignore or deny or attempt to avoid/evade doubt - it grows. And the growth of doubt makes it doubly hard to deal with. The close mate of doubt is worry. Are you a worrier? Does your doubt lead you to worry... or does your worry lead you to doubt?
Facing doubt head on typically is the only way to disperse it. The issue is one of control - you, leading to resolution or doubt leading to panic. So how do you meet it? You take a good hard look at the 'why' of your doubt. What is the foundation for the doubt? Perhaps something IS happening that is warning you not to continue or to take a different avenue. If you change how you react to doubt you may have discovered a new way to respond to changes in your environment.
Doubt actually does have positive benefits as long as you aren't reacting with panic or fear to your doubts.Panic or fear only leads to chaos and accomplishes nothing. By contrast, when you discover the 'why' the doubt exists then you can take corrective steps based on the best possible resolution. In this latter scenario - it is you who is handling rather than being handled by doubt.
...but what do you think?
Saturday, September 8, 2012
Going a little crazy...
Honestly... this isn't necessarily all bad. Sometimes you have to do 'things' to shake up your life - not a lot, just a little to clear the cobwebs. Because - ruts are disastrous. And if you find yourself in one, I personally believe it's critical to shake things up or you won't see what's right in front of you. I know, I know... this sounds totally counterintuitive. It isn't... just like standing on your head gives you a totally different perspective then standing on your feet. But it's these little 'jars' that have the potential to spark some creative options.
I should explain that 'going a little crazy' isn't a permanent state of being - it's an interruption into the status quo designed to help you see things (and people, and ideas) in a slightly different light. It's designed to add spice, add flavor, add different ways of doing things to what has always been. It is not dangerous... except to the status quo. And though it may only be a short blip on the radar screen, it may be sufficient for looking outside the lines.
I find these little bursts of 'different' very creative and sometimes we do need to be shaken out of our reverie or lead us into one. Going a little crazy can be our creative thoughts and ideas attempting to get our attention. OK, that might be a bit much but it can be the impetus to something new. It can also be the confirmation that what's happening is precisely what needs to happen. Both are valuable to our confidence in continuing.
However, the caveat in this is to remember that after a short sojourn, you do need to return to the 'here'. Part of the reason is to change or confirm direction. Part of it is to implement those parts of the 'going a little crazy' time into the current plan. But what you really need to remember is that 'going a little crazy' is in the mind of the person. Your crazy may be someone else's norm.
...but what do you think?
I should explain that 'going a little crazy' isn't a permanent state of being - it's an interruption into the status quo designed to help you see things (and people, and ideas) in a slightly different light. It's designed to add spice, add flavor, add different ways of doing things to what has always been. It is not dangerous... except to the status quo. And though it may only be a short blip on the radar screen, it may be sufficient for looking outside the lines.
I find these little bursts of 'different' very creative and sometimes we do need to be shaken out of our reverie or lead us into one. Going a little crazy can be our creative thoughts and ideas attempting to get our attention. OK, that might be a bit much but it can be the impetus to something new. It can also be the confirmation that what's happening is precisely what needs to happen. Both are valuable to our confidence in continuing.
However, the caveat in this is to remember that after a short sojourn, you do need to return to the 'here'. Part of the reason is to change or confirm direction. Part of it is to implement those parts of the 'going a little crazy' time into the current plan. But what you really need to remember is that 'going a little crazy' is in the mind of the person. Your crazy may be someone else's norm.
...but what do you think?
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Out of step?
Do you feel that you are not in step with those around you? It's far more than walking around in a partial daze of nostalgia or wishing for the 'good old days' or any other mild reaction to the vagaries of life. This is far deeper. You not only feel but know that you are marching to a far different drummer. I think the question is - are you concerned with being out of step? Or... are you continuing your journey, aware of others, aware of your 'different' but happily continuing?
It really isn't necessarily 'bad'. I would suggest the only 'bad' portion is if you didn't know or don't like your own 'different'. Listening to different music is more than just humming along. But it also means that you aren't oblivious to what's happening around you. In fact, your awareness provides you with an understanding of why you are out of step. And awareness is always the first step to change... if that's what you want.
Maybe a different question would be: what are you afraid of if you are the 'out of step' type? Do you think you are missing something? Granted you will pay a price, but there is also a cost to 'going along'. What is best for you? Because it is your own tune, your own drummer do you fear you will be alone? That should be the least concern. You will never be totally alone because paths always cross.
In the final analysis, being 'out of step' becomes a wilful choice. You can choose to be part of the herd or you can choose to continue marching to that different drummer. While I try and not place any value judgment on individual v. group drum, I must admit my preference is for the individual. This is what adds flavor and spice. It also makes for a delighted joy when we discover that there are times when we are hearing the same song and drum.
...but, what do you think?
It really isn't necessarily 'bad'. I would suggest the only 'bad' portion is if you didn't know or don't like your own 'different'. Listening to different music is more than just humming along. But it also means that you aren't oblivious to what's happening around you. In fact, your awareness provides you with an understanding of why you are out of step. And awareness is always the first step to change... if that's what you want.
Maybe a different question would be: what are you afraid of if you are the 'out of step' type? Do you think you are missing something? Granted you will pay a price, but there is also a cost to 'going along'. What is best for you? Because it is your own tune, your own drummer do you fear you will be alone? That should be the least concern. You will never be totally alone because paths always cross.
In the final analysis, being 'out of step' becomes a wilful choice. You can choose to be part of the herd or you can choose to continue marching to that different drummer. While I try and not place any value judgment on individual v. group drum, I must admit my preference is for the individual. This is what adds flavor and spice. It also makes for a delighted joy when we discover that there are times when we are hearing the same song and drum.
...but, what do you think?
Sunday, September 2, 2012
Jumping off the Potter's wheel...
Do you do this? Absolutely... we all do! The 'why' we do this varies with both the person and the particular situation. We can so quickly get into a 'can't' or 'I'm not worthy' or 'surely not' mindset. This really is a lack of trust in the Potter. Somehow, regardless of our previous experience, we don't think God will continue to stay with us or that He really is preparing us for the upcoming assignment. Maybe we think/feel the preparation is way too difficult. Perhaps the prep stage is uncomfortable on many different levels. Whatever our reason... we jump off the Potter's wheel.
What I have always found exceedingly comforting is that as easy as it is to get off the Potter's wheel, it is just as easy to get back on. To repeat: our primary problem is an issue of trust. What we really need to ask ourselves is when did God not come through for us? When was He not faithful. Admittedly everything we put our hand to is not marked by success, but who initiated... God or ourselves? He told us He would never leave us, and He doesn't.
What is the Potter's wheel? It's the time we surrender our 'rights', our privileges and trust the One who provides us our rights, our privileges. Sound counter intuitive? When we come to God with all we are and all we have and all we hope for and place it in His hands then He can do wondrous things with it and increase its value. The incredible fact is that He turns around and gives it back to us, greatly enhanced. What we need to remember is that this is then meant to help others, not to hoard, not to put on limited display. (1Corinthians)
However, when we don't - and it really is our choice - allow God to prepare us, refine us for our next step then we go into it unprepared. Having done this any number of times, I really don't recommend it - it can hurt. Being unprepared places us in the position of 'catching up' which only delays and rushes us along. The Potter's wheel really is designed for our own good, our benefit... and that is terrific! In all instances the Potter is preparing us - He would never call us to an assignment that we could not accomplish. He prepares, He equips, He enables.
...but, what do you think?
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