Bogged down in adult-hood?

 Are you too adult? One can be you know. Did you forget to take some of the joy of childlike wonder and discovery? If those aren't present in your adulthood then you forgot to include them in your move. Happy where you are? Realizing that adulthood does leave something to be desired - joy, fun!

Wonder and Discovery do not have to be absent from your here and now adulthood. Actually they enhance adulthood and provide a stress reducing point in your you. Whoever told you they weren't wanted or needed? Punch them in the nose... no, not literally - where it really hurts, in their rigid definitions. Besides, wherever does it say that seriousness doesn't include joy? Or that the only definition of 'adult' is seriousness?

Let me ask the same question slightly differently. If you were to plan your absolutely perfect day, what would it include? What activities, people would populate that day? Now... is it totally impossible to create? If so, then now scale it to probabilities not just wants - how would it be 'organized'? Is it impossible to create? Again... if so then what components could be included? And, what's stopping you from creating it? I would suggest that if any of it included 'making' others do what you want, when you want it you eliminate those outside forces and look at your own creativity.

The point I'm making is - don't let circumstances or other people define how you do adulting. Adulting is a personal definition and act - just don't expect others to follow your definitions or even understand them if you don't share who and what and why you are adulting in your way. And please... allow them to adult in their way but don't feel you need follow - they really can't 'make' you.

   "When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things." 1 Corinthians 13:11

[Someone was bound to bring up this scripture so I'm addressing it.] First look at the word - childish. Not childlike. 2 Different definitions. It IS mature if we put away childish things: all the words and behaviors of wants. Don't get me wrong - it is never a 'bad' thing to let people know of your wants and dreams as long as you don't expect or demand that they fulfill them. The temper tantrum of a child has no place in adulthood. But let's also face it - we do sometimes use this tactic (consciously and not) as adults passive aggressive behavior springs to mind.

There are good and bad behaviors and attitudes in each age we pass through. The positive ones simply get a remake in our next 'age' and we always have the choice of bringing along the 'bad' ones. Adulthood in terms of age doesn't always work - we have to choose to be an adult. But being an adult doesn't eliminate some of the attitudes of childlike behavior and words - you can celebrate those as you 'put off the old and put on the new'  (Ephesians 4:23-24}.

The Father gave us 'free will' so we can choose our attitudes and behaviors. This also includes the definition of 'adult'. Check scripture as to how and why you should act in a particular way.

Call

   “So I, the prisoner for the Lord, appeal to you to live a life worthy of the calling to which you have been called [that is, to live a life that exhibits godly character, moral courage, personal integrity, and mature behavior—a life that expresses gratitude to God for your salvation],” Ephesians 4:1

   “for He delivered us and saved us and called us with a holy calling [a calling that leads to a consecrated life—a life set apart—a life of purpose], not because of our works [or because of any personal merit—we could do nothing to earn this], but because of His own purpose and grace [His amazing, undeserved favor] which was granted to us in Christ Jesus before the world began [eternal ages ago],” 

2 Timothy 1:9

   “For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable [for He does not withdraw what He has given, nor does He change His mind about those to whom He gives His grace or to whom He sends His call]. Romans 11:29
   
The first verse [Ephesians] encourages believers to "walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called”. Paul’s instructions to Timothy’ is a bit more specific. And in Romans we learn that there is never a ‘mistaken’ call. 

Just as God doesn’t make junk He also doesn’t make mistakes. When you think about it… He doesn’t change His mind either - it’s just that timing sometimes dictates the completion because of His great love and compassion - but He does know the end from the beginning simultaneously, while we humans tend toward an immediacy.

*QUESTIONS:
    Do you agree with Paul’s definition in Ephesians?                            
    Do you check your own life against this standard: a life that exhibits godly character, moral courage, personal integrity, and mature behavior—a life that expresses gratitude to God for your salvation]?                                                   
[slight rabbit trail: how do you “express gratitude”? Is it only 
words?]

    How do you react to what Paul says to Timothy? Delivered… saved… called - all with a holy calling - we know Who is doing the calling (l’m beginning to wonder if we are listening correctly… 
The Word tells us that we will know His voice but never forget that satan likes to disguise himself as an angel of light and the Word tells us to test the spirits and also gives us how we can test.                                
                      
Calling ALWAYS involves place and position. You may be in the right place but are you in a position where you can be a blessing and also be blessed? Example and questions:
    Do we, individually and corporately see a talent or skill in another person and only think of them in that light? Example: Joe is terrific with mechanical problems but is never asked to be a co-teacher with the class of 5th through 7th graders.                         
    Do we say ‘no’ for others before discovering their gifts and callings and not just their skills? Perhaps, regardless of the need, we should know our fellow congregants and what they enjoy doing first? 

I would argue that we all have a variety of ‘callings’ in and on our lives. One of those callings is to the church we attend. Somehow I don’t think we’re called there because of the people who attend, nor do I think it’s because of the Pastor… and yet those 2 areas are very important - for some reason we place more emphasis on that than what we feel led to be, do, in the church.

Another aspect about being called to a church is that we aren’t called to be a pew sitter. Pew sitting is not a calling unless you are called as an intercessor for that congregation, that Pastor, for the service. So the question becomes… did the Lord call you to the church you are attending? If not then He will direct you to where you need to be if you ask Him. Wherever you are called, He will also provide opportunities for you to serve but allows us to accept or decline, though we miss a blessing when we say no.

One source says, 

   

   “… Christian calling must be pursued as an expression of our faith in God,” I’d add that for any Christian pursuing meaning in their life, that it is indispensable. For me, there is such joy and confidence when I know that I am doing and saying precisely what/how the Lord is leading me. 

Actually, everything you are involved with in your life is a calling of sorts. Big question …are you continuing to grow in all the calls? Another example: look at your job… how did you get there? If you don’t feel that you are living a meaningful work life, then you should ask - are you supposed to stay; and why and if you are supposed to go - then where? You will be answered. Whichever the answer - what should you be doing to be in the place you should be?
*This is another way of looking at yourself by looking at the calls on your life. 
Have you ever viewed yourself this way?

Though not exhaustive, here are some Scriptures on 'call':
2Peter 1:10 / 1Corinthians  7:17 / Ephesians 4:4 - 1:18 / 1Corinthians 1:26, S1 - 1:9 / 2 Thessalonians 1:11-12 - 2:14 / Romans 8:30 / 
 

 

Relationship

 Back in 2014 I wrote this blog. It's a subject that is never static and always growing or it atrophies. The following is that post but with revisions based on growing understandings.

Relationship

  Who is your God? How do you see Him? Is He far off or close at hand? Is He a judge ready to convict you every time you do something wrong? Is He a loving Father that does chastise us when we do wrong but is also there to comfort us? What is your experience?

  One of the early lessons I learned was that God was dynamic and not static. That He desires relationship but that it is our decision as to what kind of relationship we enter into with Him. This leads to - what kind of God do you need? First and foremost, God is. Period. He changes not according to His words (Malachi 3:6). And yet we see Him stay His hand of judgment when Moses prays for the people, that He would. However personally I believe that this is not the same thing. When it comes to Who He is as He has spoken in scripture, when it comes to the standards He function by, when it is the essential - these don't change. 

 Another (incredibly important) point is that the Lord never gives us a date for the completion of His decisions. Example: remember Nineveh? Jonah got quite irritated that 'the Lord changed His mind' - He didn't. He just knew the end from the beginning. In this case Nineveh repented and the Lord stayed His hand but years later they forgot and that which was stated - occurred.  Our understanding and perception may grow but the essence doesn't change. Another terrific lesson is that it proves He listens to us.

  Back to the question - what is your relationship? Are you growing in this? I remember when I 'encountered' this question - who/what/when/why was my relationship? In the time of the Exodus, Moses was considered a friend of God. They walked and talked together. The people had seen, first-hand, what God could do and how He cared for them. What did the people do? Exodus 20:19 - "Then they said to Moses, 'You speak with us, and we will hear; but let not God speak with us, lest we die.'" And so it was Moses and not the people with Moses that had the relationship.

  1Peter 2:9 - once again God came to His people, seeking a much closer relationship: "But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation. His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light..." Peter is speaking to the people who have believed on and accepted Jesus as Lord. This is our promise, our right - NOW. Again... what kind of relationship do you want with your Lord and God? 

  Are you, we acting on how the Lord tells us HE sees us? Are we a chosen generation? If so, what are we doing with His choice? Are we acting as a royal priesthood, holy nation, special people... are WE proclaiming the praises of our God? Remember He never tells us something we can't do. He's also ready to help us act on what together, in relationship, we can accomplish. 

  Relationship encompasses so much of who we are, how we grow, what we do with our learnings. It involves our whole being and How we do the who, grow, actions. Remember it was always God who came to man to create a covenant - it never has been the opposite. I believe the Father, the Triune God, has always wanted relationship - why do you think the devil has tried so hard to interfere in this? 

  But don't just take my word for it. Scripture shows us beginning in Genesis all the way through Revelation that His love for us was the foundation for relationship.

For a deeper dive see: https://www.openbible.info/topics/relationship_with_god 

I believe that from the moment God chose to create man, and create us in His image that He desired a relationship with us. Look at all He did with Adam before the fall. 

EFFECTIVE

Maybe especially when we think about praying, we want our prayers to be effective. But are they? And how do we know? Scripture talks about the effective fervent prayer of the righteous man availeth much (James 5:16). It seems that there must be a way to enhance our probability. So how can we be that effective fervent pray-ers? Remember in the gospels the disciples saw Jesus praying and the effectiveness of this act? So they asked Jesus how to pray [I'm using the NKJV]

   " It happened that while Jesus was praying in a certain place, after finished, one of His disciples said to Him, “Lord, teach us to pray just as John also taught his disciples. 

    "Our Father in heaven,

       Hallowed be Your name.

       Your kingdom come.

       Your will be done

       On earth as it is in heaven.

       Give us day by day our daily bread.

       And forgive us our sins,

       For we also forgive everyone who is indebted to us.

       And do not lead us into temptation,

       But deliver us from the evil one.”

Christian and non believer all know of this prayer. Have you ever considered what Jesus was teaching? While it is a prayer in and of itself, the prayer is also a model of how we should pray. Most pray this prayer but don't apply it.

So what are the elements? It begins by stating the relationship - Father and child and then immediately begins in praise and worship - honoring the Father and then attesting to who He is and how we should proclaim Him: Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done. Do we really want this? If so, how are our words and behaviors displaying this? Do we seek His will? Do we remember:

   "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things (see verse 32) shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:33-34

Sometimes we stop at just verse 33 and we should continue the thought (v.34) And sometimes we don't connect this to how we pray. If we want to be effective in our prayer life then we have to put praying and we as pray-ers in the proper perspective. Do we bring praise and worship to the Triune God, Creator of everything? Do we honor Him or do we expect Him to know we honor Him even though we don't say anything?

"They honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me" is a rebuke from Jesus (quoting Isaiah) in Matthew 15:8-9 and Mark 7:6-7 and we need to take this to heart. Praise and Worship does set the tone, the atmosphere in which to present the needs. Otherwise... are we only bringing needs to the One who can and does answer prayer? Praise and Worship really isn't for the God of the Universe... it's for us. To put us in a context.

[This is part 1 in a new series.]

Foundation???

 Do you act, teach from what you Know? Or Think? Or Hope for? Is there any collaboration among any of those positions? Do you have ‘verification’ for your stance from Scripture? Your Experiences? What you were Taught? What you Feel? Is there any correlation among your sources? What is YOUR foundation. Or... have you ever asked yourself afterwards - why did I ever  say/do that!? Join the club. Unless you are highly disciplined or have a very tight reign on your emotions… you probably have joined in what I call Paul's lament.

   "For I do not understand my own actions [I am baffled and bewildered by them]. I do not practice what I want to do, but I am doing the very thing I hate [and yielding to my human nature, my worldliness—my sinful capacity]. Now if I habitually do what I do not want to do, [that means] I agree with the Law, confessing that it is good (morally excellent). So now [if that is the case, then] it is no longer I who do it [the disobedient thing which I despise], but the sin [nature] which lives in me. For I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my flesh [my human nature, my worldliness—my sinful capacity]. For the willingness [to do good] is present in me, but the doing of good is not. For the good that I want to do, I do not do, but I practice the very evil that I do not want. But if I am doing the very thing I do not want to do I am no longer the one doing it [that is, it is not me that acts], but the sin [nature] which lives in me."  Romans 7:15-20

Such a dilemma. Can we really gain control over our own sinful nature? I would suspect that the answer is - probably not. But this does NOT give us license to continue our known sinful actions... nor does it give us excuse nor freedom from responsibility. We always bear the consequences of whatever we say and do - we can never point fingers in another direction, regardless how often we may try. The point. The promise. We can never stopped trying to be our best selves. 

Our role on earth includes study, prayer, growing, applying. We can't be like one of the servants in the Parable of the Talents - Matthew 25:14-30. James talks about works describes our faith. It does. But if we are only learning, like an oversoaked unused sponge - we begin to stink. Our learning is the basis from which we share. How does our living bear out our testimony. What you do is critical - it's a witness. Again the point... the promise. 

   “For to everyone who has [and values his blessings and gifts from God, and has used them wisely], more will be given, and [he will be richly supplied so that] he will have an abundance; but from the one who does not have [because he has ignored or disregarded his blessings and gifts from God], even what he does have will be taken away.  And throw out the worthless servant into the outer darkness; in that place [of grief and torment] there will be weeping [over sorrow and pain] and grinding of teeth [over distress and anger]." verse 29-30

You need to know which [10, 5, none] defines you. Look to your foundation and what you are building upon it. 

After the fact

A good example of an ‘after the fact’ is the word ‘could’da’ - often it means you knew ahead of time so it really was a should’ve. If we know - now - that we could’ve, then obviously it was a known option. I would also argue that it was a deliberate non-choice ‘cause you really didn’t wanna. Well that was kinda fun. 

How often, though, when it is after the fact do we exclaim- I should’ve? That’s why I say that it was a I don’t wanna!

One point is... do we live in the rear mirror? Are we always looking at those options after they are no longer options? And... do we ever accept the fact that we really could have made a decision rather than letting 'fate' take the blame? These are the: 'I really didn't have a choice' or 'there wasn't enough time to fully examine...' aka excuse. Of course we have a choice  - we always have a choice. Let me use a very simple example. 

There are those who deny their free will... selectively. Every thing that goes according to what they want is because of their astute decision. Those things that are not positive is because they 'had no choice'. Too many of us use the 'After the fact' approach - there are even those who begin to develop their 'after' as they begin their actions. Not sure how this squares with scripture though:

   "But let your statement be, ‘Yes, yes’ or ‘No, no’ [a firm yes or no]; anything more than that comes from the evil one." Matthew 5:37

The obvious implication is that we (in fact) have the time and information to make a reasoned decision. Of course we have a choice. Let's face it - 'After the fact' is nothing more than a lame excuse. AND, we typically 'accept' that from others because we use it! But are we so lame, do muddleheaded, so people pleasing that we can't/don't stand for what we believe? As a Christian... do we compromise out faith?

Jesus asked:

   "And will not [our just] God defend and avenge His elect [His chosen ones] who cry out to Him day and night? Will He delay [in providing justice] on their behalf? I tell you that He will defend and avenge them quickly. However, when the Son of Man comes, will He find [this kind of persistent] faith on the earth?” Luke 18:7-8

Compromise has no place in faith. What are we saying with our words and actions? After our compromise (and for what purpose???) do we habitually turn to the Lord seeking forgiveness? And do we do our 'after' often? Exactly what kind of Christian are we? Not the kind of faith He will be seeking? Never.

Harvest.org says:

   "True faith, the kind of faith that God requires, is a faith that always will bring results. It is a faith that shows itself in actions. Quoting James 2:14, 17 NLT says,

   “What good is it, dear brothers and sisters, if you say you have faith but don’t show it by your actions? Can that kind of faith save anyone? … So you see, faith by itself isn’t enough. Unless it produces good deeds, it is dead and useless”  

This is what I like to call Now Faith. It is present, it is visible, it is not ... After.

But where’s the heart?!

Are we too quick to judge? Too slow? Are we too quick to say ‘you are wrong’? Too slow? What is our source of criticism… or is it condemnation? Do we stop and try to understand the what and Why the other person is trying to do or say? Or criticize them by our standards, our MO only? Do we ask questions in seeking understanding? Is there any possibility that WE could be in error? And most important- do we speak our truth in love? Are we seeking reconciliation and restoration when the issue is relationship?

I would recommend that we never head into reconciliation without first making certain we have the Word’s standards as foundation. Have you taken the time to look into the Word as to the ‘methodology’ of restoration? Now the point. How did the Father go about restoring our relationship? Did we first have to do

something? No… unless you count our accepting His gift [restoration] and condition [accepting Jesus as Lord and the only path to reconciliation]. Remember the song, “I Come”? … maybe I have the title wrong but I think all of us recognize the thought.

The thought that really is incredible is that the Son and the Father before those first words in Genesis (In the beginning God created…) were uttered had already accepted the only path (Jesus’ birth, death, resurrection) for the Father’s creation - us. Now consider how we go about reconciling and restoring broken relationships. Do we need to make certain the other person knows that we are extending our hand (martyrish?)  Do we place our conditions first before any moving forward? And do we subtly demand an apology? Is our heart ever the driving force?

If any words on our by us or any actions occur, we really need to check our hearts as to our motivations/intentions. What actions demonstrate our words? And where do our words come from... our hearts?

   "Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts. Don’t talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip."
Proverbs 4:23-24

   "Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a right and steadfast spirit within me."
Psalms 51:10

These are 2 of the most recognizable scriptures about the heart. There are over 57 different verses that speak to what the heart is and does.

   "For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." Matthew 7:34b 

All these scriptures reinforce the point that WE need to know where our heart is and how it is leading. And will we submit our minds to the leading of our heart? Sometimes our head doesn't filter our best selves. But do we know what the heart is. Ligonier.org says:

   "Put simply, the heart in Scripture conveys the totality of our inner self. We are governed from this one point of unity. From it “flow the springs of life” (Prov. 4:23). It is the control center—the source of every thought, the seat of every passion, and the arbiter of every decision. All of it is generated from and governed by this one point of undivided unity. That is why everything vital to the Christian life—your speech, repentance, faith, service, obedience, worship, walk, and love —must be done with “all your heart”

What a powerful definition... and conception... And it explains where the heart is and what it does (or should do). And this is not the easiest methodology for us to practice. But it is the truest. Never simply equate the heart with emotions. Not what it is ... or can do.

So what!?!

Have you ever asked yourself - who does God see when I wake into the day? What kind of difference do I make when I’m about in the day - regardless of how many ‘things’ I’m involved with? Who does the defining... me? the Lord? the details and/or things? And I could probably indicate a few other vying, clamoring voices. But what/who are the important contenders? More important... who's in charge?

There's an old phrase that's been running around church-ese for eons - when you wake into the day, the devil says 'crap, (s)he's up again'. It's meant to be humorous but it should be fact. However... what is fact? How do you wake into the day? And if you could, would that be what the devil would say? If not, would you like that to be your epitaph, how the devil views you?

It really isn't particularly difficult for the devil to have that reaction... and it has everything to do with you - your attitude, your priorities, your expressions (behavior), your you. Even with all we know from scripture, there are those believers who seem to try and hide... from every and anything spiritual. You do realize that you are in one or the other 'camps' - there's no such thing as neutral. However, we aren't to simply sit down and wait.

This points to the 'so what'. It is crucially important. When you are saved... you are saved to as much as being saved from what was/is. And Paul tells us that we are to work out our salvation - Philippians 2:12. Do you think that was just an idle comment by Paul? Look at Ephesians 2:10 and I could go on. Salvation isn't just a 'trump' card you play when you die. 

   "So too, faith, if it does not have works [to back it up], is by itself dead [inoperative and ineffective]. But someone may say, “You [claim to] have faith and I have [good] works; show me your [alleged] faith without the works [if you can], and I will show you my faith by my works [that is, by what I do].” You believe that God is one; you do well [to believe that]. The demons also believe [that], and shudder and bristle [in awe-filled terror—they have seen His wrath]! [James 2:17-19]

So the 'so what' is important. It is a mark of who you became and are becoming because God, in His grace and mercy, made a way for us all to be part of His family. That way is called - Jesus, Acts 4:12.  

Missed?

 Have you ever thought about what you would miss if you weren't any longer? Yes, you are now in your afterlife - I pray that it's Heaven for you because you chose to be a believer and accepted Jesus's gift of eternal life and continue to grow in the call the Lord has on your life. But, put aside where you are and can you think of anything you'd be missing? 

Would you miss family... or a specific family member? Do you know why? And, if you are a believer, did you ever take the time to know if that person was saved? How did you share with them? If it was a friend... or a 'bff' friend? Do you know why you would miss them? And, if you are a believer, did you ever take the time to know if that person was saved? How did you share with them? Would it be your job, the work the Lord gave you? Did it touch lives? What you did... was it meaningful?  How, Why was it meaningful? Was it a particular sport? or your leisure time activity? How, Why was it meaningful? These are part of our treasurers. Are you following my train of thought? 

   " “Do not store up for yourselves [material] treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys, and where thieves do not break in and steal; for where your treasure is, there your heart [your wishes, your desires; that on which your life centers] will be also." [Matthew 6:19-21]

There your heart will be also... that's the point. Do we follow this principle or do we focus on the tangible and here and now? Don't say you don't... I think we all do until we realize the significance. IF, and that's the motivation, if we want the people (forget things... we have no idea what we'll be seeing in Heaven but this earth's is merely a foggy image) to be with us, WE have to take the risk we might be rejected. It can come down to - which is most important? That the (person) be part of our now? Or that they have the opportunity to accept Jesus as their Lord and you'll see them again too? Never an easy call when it's family or a close friend. And really… it’s always our responsibility to at least check. If they are, you'll probably receive a knowing smile... if they aren't, you'll probably taste their anger.

Reward(s)

Everyone likes rewards! Somehow we give a greater value to our words and/or behavior when it’s associated with a reward. Rewards have a wide range of expressions… from an acknowledging smile and nod of head to something substantial (visible, tangible). Why? Because it’s a way of knowing what we did (said) is valued and therefore we are valued. And valuing is incredibly prized and important.

Do you know/understand your attitude toward 'reward(s)'? Actually, if what you do is only for rewards then you have put the emphasis on the wrong sy-lla-ble. While there probably is a somewhat universal definition of the word... but not all 'rewards' are created equal. What might be extravagant to one person would be more of a la-de-da to another. This kinda means that if you want to reward someone you need to have somewhat of a definition by the rewardee.

What/How does scripture treat the issue of reward(s)

   "When pride comes [boiling up with an arrogant attitude of self-importance], then come dishonor and shame, But with the humble [the teachable who have been chiseled by trial and who have learned to walk humbly with God] there is wisdom and soundness of mind." ]Proverbs 11:18]

This speaks to our attitude... how we view rewards. And 'no!' they aren't intrinsically bad, evil. However, our attitudes do put a period. Matthew 5:12 also speaks to rewards - where they exist and what they represent. Consider James 1:12

   "Blessed [happy, spiritually prosperous, favored by God] is the man who is steadfast under trial and perseveres when tempted; for when he has passed the test and been approved, he will receive the [victor’s] crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him."

Though it doesn't use the word 'reward' the "[victor’s] crown of life" sounds like a reward to me. This is only 1 of many examples that the believer has of their rewardS. A reward may be a promotion... or a tangible 'present'... or a new understanding of a scripture(s) that is life changing, etc. Many times we limit or underestimate rewards. I believe the ultimate reward for believers can be found in Revelation 22:12,

Finisher

     "let us run with endurance and active persistence the race that is set before us, [looking away from all that will distract us and] focusing our eyes on Jesus, who is the Author and Perfecter of faith [the first incentive for our belief and the One who brings our faith to maturity], who for the joy [of accomplishing the goal] set before Him endured the cross, disregarding the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God [revealing His deity, His authority, and the completion of His work]. Just consider and meditate on Him who endured from sinners such bitter hostility against Himself [consider it all in comparison with your trials], so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." [Hebrews 12:1c-3]

And yes... this is an extremely difficult mindset and behavior to adopt and  accomplish! Let's be honest... who among us wants pain and suffering? Exactly. But our Triune God realized that so before we asked, before we even knew, He had provided someone who understood and knew the difficulty of this. Hebrews tells us that Jesus is our High Priest (Hebrews 4) but Jesus went through every temptation, every seduction, everything that we go through so that He would be able to help us when we face these issues.

I've always liked the word 'finish' It was spoken by Jesus on the cross which let us know that He chose to accept our punishment and our reconciliation. He said, "It is Finished" (John 19:30). Do you realize all that happened at this point? Two of the incredible components were: we were dead in our sins and we had absolutely no way out... until Jesus. And, when Jesus spoke those words He was letting all know that He had completed the act of reconciliation. Now... it's up to us. Will we accept His gift of salvation, especially realizing that apart from our choosing to be chosen, we have no way of being reconciled? Other than the many faces of pride, what really stops us from accepting Jesus' gift?

Most people are familiar with John 3:16 - and it is a wonderful verse telling us precisely what we need to do to be saved... but read a bit further.

   " Whoever believes and has decided to trust in Him [as personal Savior and Lord] is not judged [for this one, there is no judgment, no rejection, no condemnation]; but the one who does not believe [and has decided to reject Him as personal Savior and Lord] is judged already [that one has been convicted and sentenced], because he has not believed and trusted in the name of the [One and] only begotten Son of God [the One who is truly unique, the only One of His kind, the One who alone can save him]." [John 3:18]

That defines what we are saved from. That actually defines 'finisher'. It may sound quite limiting but I believe there are only 2 'types' of people: believers and unbelievers. I also believe that those who are believers have a responsibility to the unbelievers to make absolutely certain that unbelievers completely understand that when they don't accept Jesus, they reject Him. Believers don't have this responsibility? Look again at 2 Corinthians 5:17-21

   "Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life].   But all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ [making us acceptable to Him] and gave us the ministry of reconciliation [so that by our example we might bring others to Him], that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting people’s sins against them [but canceling them]. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation [that is, restoration to favor with God].
So we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making His appeal through us; we [as Christ’s representatives] plead with you on behalf of Christ to be reconciled to God. He made Christ who knew no sin to [judicially] be sin on our behalf, so that in Him we would become the righteousness of God [that is, we would be made acceptable to Him and placed in a right relationship with Him by His gracious lovingkindness]."

Kinda puts a period to what our responsibilities are. I didn't say it was easy... I'm simply pointing out believers' responsibility. By extension I believe that we have the message of 'Finished' that we can share. Jesus is the Finisher and He has given that message for us to share. A responsibility, an opportunity to touch lives.

 

Horrors! A mistake

Is this your problem - you are afraid to make a mistake? Do you know why you’re afraid? We all make mistakes, sometimes many in one day. And haven’t you said, many times, that you learn more from your mistakes? So why your hesitancy? Why the concern that looks a great deal like fear?

I’m learning that when I go to the Lord about an issue, a need, a want etc. that I must come how the Lord’s says. First is my attitude and Hebrews 4 answers this:

   “For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize and understand our weaknesses and temptations, but One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are, yet without [committing any] sin. Therefore let us [with privilege] approach the throne of grace [that is, the throne of God’s gracious favor] with confidence and without fear, so that we may receive mercy [for our failures] and find [His amazing] grace to help in time of need [an appropriate blessing, coming just at the right moment]." [Hebrews 4:15-16]

There is something very comforting about talking with someone who understands what and why we are feeling and acting the way we are. There is also the feeling of freedom of expressing when we say things to complete strangers that we expect to never see again. One is comfort of understanding and the other an sense of freedom because they have no control over us. The big difference is that when we choose to approach the Lord we have One who has all the answers. We can approach without fear that we can't or shouldn't and realize that since the Lord has the answer(s) we will know what to do. I think that maybe forgiveness is the strongest reason.

I've always like the understanding that there is mercy and grace awaiting me when I act in confidence. How can I receive His mercy and grace if I have no confidence He will provide this. How many times does the Lord have to prove His faithfulness toward me for me to accept this. For me, 1 John 1:9 is a constant reminder of the truth of what Hebrews is telling me.

   "If we say we have no sin [refusing to admit that we are sinners], we delude ourselves and the truth is not in us. [His word does not live in our hearts.] If we [freely] admit that we have sinned and confess our sins, He is faithful and just [true to His own nature and promises], and will forgive our sins and cleanse us continually from all unrighteousness [our wrongdoing, everything not in conformity with His will and purpose]. 10 If we say that we have not sinned [refusing to admit acts of sin], we make Him [out to be] a liar [by contradicting Him] and His word is not in us. 

My little children (believers, dear ones), I am writing you these things so that you will not sin and violate God’s law. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate [who will intercede for us] with the Father: Jesus Christ the righteous..." [1 John 1:9-2:1]

Sins, mistakes, errors all need to be confessed so that they can't define us. If we hold on to that baggage, they will. All of that is a burden that we don't need to carry. Learn from - absolutely. We live in a fallen world, we have the stain of sin in our lives but with the Lord's help we will grow from these conditions and incidents. Never take your sins, mistakes, errors lightly... but don't let them control you either. Jesus tells us that He came to bring us life, and life more abundantly (John 10:10)

Resolutions

Did (Do)any of you do the old fashion act of making New Year Resolutions? And how long do you expect that you will make the attempt of following them? Actually, if you have no confidence in yourself about following them, then making them is an exercise in futility - a waste of time. That may have sounded harsh - but true. 

When I was a child and we were going through this annual ritual, I must admit I was quite ambitious about the act of developing them until my Mother gave some sobering advice.  She said: rather than attempting a complete makeover, why not pick 2 or at the most 3 attainable (the operative word) things that I could, and would actually take the time and have the possibility of making a change for the 
better. Did I actually follow through and try to change/improve? Yes, at least 
longer than trying to do the complete makeover.

We do realize that the act, the mindset of investing in our own growth is not always a simple task. All growth and change requires a commitment and follow through on our parts for this to even occur. None of that will occur through a kind of no effort, no thought osmosis. Besides, if it could be, do you want your own personal growth to be based in fatalism, in a kind of que sera, sera? Do you want this to be an act in which you are only the recipient of what you experience without any basis in an authority (and that, not man)?

So now we come to the focus of this discussion - your spiritual growth. What are you doing to grow: understand, practice? Can you look back to a year ago and see your own growth? You haven’t opted for a status quo approach… did you? Remember Paul’s declaration:

   "Brothers and sisters, I do not consider that I have made it my own yet; but one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the [heavenly] prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature [pursuing spiritual perfection] should have this attitude. And if in any respect you have a different attitude, that too God will make clear to you." [Philippians 3:13-15]

Does this sound like a resolution? It is. Now let me share another of my beliefs... any day is a good day to take stock of who you are and where you are headed and make a resolution(s) to recommit - even if this is a daily act. Because it is in our thinking on and committing to that determines if/how/when we grow. resolutions require actions... you can't just think it.

 

The Reluctant Leader

 If your response is that you didn't sign up to be a leader... think again. What did you sign up for when you made Jesus your Lord? Did you think that you would always be in that bubble of who you were? Did you think that making Jesus Lord gave you the right to say 'no' to Him? Well... actually the last question has an answer of 'yes'. But to assume that nothing would be required of you kind of makes 'Lord' of no consequence. And Jesus laid down His life for you so you could bask in a kind of new bubble of no responsibility?

Now that I've hit you in the back of your head (sorry) let's take another, more effective look. What, exactly, have you been called to do? What, precisely, is your problem about accepting the call? Nowhere does it say that whatever you are called to do is done all by yourself. Remember the scripture:

   "Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble in dread before them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not fail you or abandon you.” (Deuteronomy 31:6}

Just in case we might have forgotten, He also says in Hebrews 13:5

   "Let your character [your moral essence, your inner nature] be free from the love of money [shun greed—be financially ethical], being content with what you have; for He has said, “I will never [under any circumstances] desert you [nor give you up nor leave you without support, nor will I in any degree leave you helpless], nor will I forsake or let you down or relax My hold on you [assuredly not]!”

Yes, there are certain requirement that we must follow, example: be strong and courageous, not afraid, our character be content and free from the love of money.

But this should be of significant understanding that we are never alone, that He has such a deep love for us (individually) that He is there to help us. Given this and Numbers 23:19 we should be able to undertake any opportunity that's He presents to us.

All of that relates to whatever you are asked to do. And yes, you have free will so you can reject the opportunity but never that you can't actually do (fill in the blank). We're never asked to do something we can't do I (think) I've learned that if I go to the Lord and request His help, direction prior to starting any 'project' and bring all that I am to the opportunity that He immediately begins to share or enhance or teach - whatever underscore my need and the project. 

I think this is the attitude, rephrased according to the person, that we need to present to the Lord every morning. We should always start expecting because when we do, we add discovering to our expecting. This, in my opinion, is a worthwhile habit. But what does all I've said relate to the title? In every way. We always approach, consciously or not, precisely who we are and what we're willing to do/be. When we're 'all in' then the Lord can take and add and create with us a blessed outcome. 

Specifically when it comes to leadership. We never are thrust into it. We always can accept or reject the leadership opportunity. We are always equipped for the specific task. We have a Senior Partner helping us. Is anything missing? Look at the following scriptures  1 Peter 5:6 and Psalm 75:7. They encouraging trust in divine timing over self-promotion. And, I might add, self-avoidance.

To put an exclamation point:

   "Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God [set aside self-righteous pride], so that He may exalt you [to a place of honor in His service] at the appropriate time,"

That self-righteous pride can take the form of false humility. 

Too busy

Are you too busy for living your life? Though this may sound like blame, that's not the intent, are you living a Martha lifestyle? And hating it? Or wishing for help (did you ask)?

Since it's that 'time of year...' the holidays can become somewhat overwhelming. My advice is that if the ugly head of 'too much to do and not enough time' or the uptick at work or the demands on your time, energy, and resources also ticks up a notch you need to STOP! Brew yourself a nice cup of tea and coffee, sit down, breathe in and breathe out, grab a pen and paper and look at your 'to do' list. Are all of those items necessary? Are there any items that you LIKE to do? Who has determine the items and priority - if it isn't you, reassess. 

What we sometimes forget is that we have been given by the God of the Universe - free choice. We can exercise it as long as we remember that we are responsible for our decisions and the consequences of those decisions. But never make a decision that goes against who you are, whose you are, and how you express you. As I look back on some of my disaster decisions I see that I never consulted with the Lord to discover if this was in His plans for me. Nor did I assess whether this was a 'put on' responsibility (regardless of who was doing the putting - you or an outside entity). I just accepted yet another 'thing' I needed to do. Silly me.

Too often we concede based on a supposed responsibility - sometimes that's true, but rarely is it all the time. Come on now - you've been given a good mind, use it! Why are you being asked to do (fill in the blank)? I realize we are to bear one another's burdens... but that's a team effort with the one seeking help. You really aren't expected to do it all on your own.

Too busy should never be our lifestyle. Don't get to any age and look at your life through eyes that see what you've missed because you were too busy. And look who you were too busy for: the Lord, your spouse, your children, your expanded family, family outings, your friends, growing, learning, enjoying... and the list goes on and on. It's never really a matter of age - we are all susceptible to the impacts on our time, energy, resources... life. 

Our enemy would like nothing better than to paint us as derelict if we don't engage. And yes, the devil really is sometimes 'right' but only in context not in fact. He loves to spread just an element of truth to catch us off guard. If you are feeling guilty... much of that can be laid at the feet of our accuser with just enough truth to causse us to question.

All of what I've been saying is never to be viewed as an excuse NOT to do what you know you should be doing. It isn't license. But being too busy is never the answer. Life is a beautiful gift the Lord has given each of us. Hopefully we see through the dog and pony show and devote ourselves to the things that the Lord has provided for us. Being 'too busy' is not part of His plan.

An Interlude

 THOUGHT FOR TODAY

We are always stewards of our own lives. We have free will which means WE choose our who, what, when, where, and how’s of our day… and by extension - our lives.

I think that one of the first things we need to do, is remember that we never save anyone. That's really not our responsibility. What we do is to share who Jesus is in our lives, what being born again has meant for us. (This is called, giving your testimony,) We rarely give the respect our testimony can have. When we give our testimony... we are doing 2 things. Lifting up the name of our Savior and sharing how that has made a difference (never forget that we all are works in progress. 

There are a number of scriptures that point to our responsibilities:

   "But in your hearts set Christ apart [as holy—acknowledging Him, giving Him first place in your lives] as Lord. Always be ready to give a [logical] defense to anyone who asks you to account for the hope and confident assurance [elicited by faith] that is within you, yet [do it] with gentleness and respect." [1 Peter 3:15]

   " 7 So neither is the one who plants nor the one who waters anything, but [only] God who causes the growth. 8 He who plants and he who waters are one [in importance and esteem, working toward the same purpose]; but each will receive his own reward according to his own labor. 9 For we are God’s fellow workers [His servants working together]; you are God’s cultivated field [His garden, His vineyard], God’s building."  [1 Corinthians 7-9]

   "34 Jesus said to them, “My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me and to completely finish His work. 35 Do you not say, ‘It is still four months until the harvest comes?’ Look, I say to you, raise your eyes and look at the fields and see, they are white for harvest. 36 Already the reaper is receiving his wages and he is gathering fruit for eternal life; so that he who plants and he who reaps may rejoice together. 37 For in this case the saying is true, ‘One [person] sows and another reaps.’ 38 I sent you to reap [a crop] for which you have not worked. Others have worked and you have been privileged to reap the results of their work.”  [John 4:34-38]

It's just like seed planting. Some sow the Word... Some water what was sown... Some reap the watered sowed Word. Everyone has a role and is equipped, enabled, empowered by the Holy Spirit to do their part. And what an honor it is to be able to act in any capacity as the Lord's fellow workers. 

Paul said:

   "Working together with Him, we strongly urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain [by turning away from sound doctrine and His merciful kindness]. For He says, 

       “At the acceptable time (the time of grace) I listened to you,

        And I helped you on the day of salvation.”

Behold, now is “the acceptable time,” behold, now is “the day of salvation...” [2 Corinthians 6: 1-2]

The interlude? It's over. It's time for us to do all we are called to do - NOW.

[[ Lastly - if my blog post on October 7th (Reject a Gift?!!!) is something you can share with a family member, friend, … do. And if they get angry they can get angry at me rather than you. (Hmmm but it is you who shared it… that may not work. Worth a try though.). Let's face it - how much more time do we have to plant a seed or water it? I have no idea when the Lord will return, but I do feel that it is closer now than ever before, I also believe we all have people in our lives that concern us because they haven't accepted what Jesus did for them. I'm beginning to think that the hardest people to talk with are those who really are 'good' people and don't see their need. The second hardest are the 'churched' - they've gone to church all their lives and think that is sufficient (many times because the salvation message has not been preached from the pulpit).]]

Intercession and Spiritual Warfare

Have you ever given much thought to the relationship between intercession and Spiritual warfare? Is intercession a form or an expression of spiritual warfare? Do you know why you think the way you do about these 2?

I would suggest that they are highly related. And my semantics self says you need to define words - and you do. You need to know what you believe [and why]. As a counterpoint - I’m going to share what I think. I do believe that intercession is an expression of spiritual warfare but that all intercession isn’t warfare and not all warfare is intercession. 

My caveat is that I am a wordsmith on some level, words have always been important to me and I try to never use them lightly. This tends to make me a bit more intentional especially in prayer. I firmly believe in the power of the spoken word. Also, that too often we use colloquialisms and phrases such as 'I nearly died laughing' or 'that nearly killed me' without thinking about the ramifications of our words, what we are actually saying.  What about you? We all have our own unique way we pray… how often are we aware of the what and how of words? 

Do we actively seek to grow as pray-ers? What was your last important learning about prayer? I’m also quite specific when someone asks that I pray for them. While I readily agree to do so I more often than not ask the person to start the praying. Reason: the prayer of agreement is a powerful weapon we can wield. It's important to know what the other person is really asking and by them starting the prayer I can also discover if I do agree. Because if there isn’t agreement then we have another conversation. 

Is there a ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ way to pray? I doubt it. I do think that there is an effective way and a not so effective way. But what do you think and how do you act on praying?

In my not too subtle way I’m trying to remind us all that prayer is a very serious act with tremendous potential power - which is my definition of fervent, effective prayer. We never should enter into it cavalierly or lightly. It is such an honor and relief to know we can always turn to the Lord in prayer: seeking and asking and knocking. He said He would always be with us. The Word says that every good gift comes from the Father. So?????

Intercession is always available to help a brother or sister in need. Spiritual Warfare is also a powerful way of praying for/with that brother or sister... especially when we have our armor on! 

WHO am I???

WHAT does the Lord want OF, FROM ME???!!!!! I've faced the same question many times... and expect to continue to face it as I become the person the Lord's always seen in me. These 2 questions can be said in frustration... in demand... in humility and I suspect other ways. When you become born again/saved - yes the Lord accepts us just as we are, but I highly doubt He expects us to just stay there. Remember Ephesians

   "For we are His workmanship [His own master work, a work of art], created in Christ Jesus [reborn from above—spiritually transformed, renewed, ready to be used] for good works, which God prepared [for us] beforehand [taking paths which He set], so that we would walk in them [living the good life which He prearranged and made ready for us]." [2:10]

To me that means growth, change, improvement, etc. All that is a good thing. I believe He wants us to succeed with Him, not thinking of doing it apart from Him. He wants relationship with us... but allows us to choose this as well.

If you want specifics, I think Jesus gave us our greatest command - that really does take intentional behavior and words from us. He said:

   "And Jesus replied to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself [that is, unselfishly seek the best or higher good for others].’ [Matthew 22:36-39]

While it may appear 'easy', the doing isn't always easy. Unconditional is the watchword. 

There are other scriptures that talk about who we are and what we should be about.

   "And now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require from you, but to fear [and worship] the Lord your God [with awe-filled reverence and profound respect], to walk [that is, to live each and every day] in all His ways and to love Him, and to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul [your choices, your thoughts, your whole being], and to keep the commandments of the Lord and His statutes which I am commanding you today for your good?"  [Deuteronomy 10:12-13]

   "For I desire and delight in [steadfast] loyalty [faithfulness in the covenant relationship], rather than sacrifice, And in the knowledge of God more than burnt offerings." [Hosea 6:6]

Not a lot of expectation from us by the Lord? Doesn't look like it but these words from Matthew, Deuteronomy, and Hosea are attitudes, mindsets, ways of speaking and acting. We don't naturally default to these words and behaviors. It takes intentional understanding and acting for them to be who we are and what we do. The unmitigated wonder is that He is always with us to help us be this who and what.

Reject a Gift?!!!

Would, Have you ever rejected a gift? Have you ever said that the gift wasn’t wanted… needed… not ‘worth’ it? Goodness! Why would anyone reject a gift? 

Is it an issue of who’s in control? Maybe it’s an issue of values - the world’s or the Bible’s? However, many people do reject the gift and for a myriad of reasons. How about you? Have you rejected the gift of salvation, of eternal life with the Lord and all those who have accepted His gift? How many times have you said: 'not now', 'maybe later', 'why should I'? Basically you have to believe with every fiber of your being that you are right and I am wrong! Do you? What if you are wrong....

   "Working together with Him, we strongly urge you not to receive God’s grace in vain [by turning away from sound doctrine and His merciful kindness]. For He says, 'At the acceptable time (the time of grace) I listened to you, And I helped you on the day of salvation.'

Behold, now is 'the acceptable time,' behold, now is 'the day of salvation'—" [2 Corinthians 6:1-2]

But… you say you don’t need the gift? Are you certain? What if you’re wrong? What if I’m right?! What makes you so wise to disregard the Lord’s outstretched hands to you? Look at what you stand to lose - eternity with the Lord, your family, and friends who have chosen to accept His gift. And you have chosen the opposite because both exist - heaven and hell - and one or the other are our ultimate destination. 

The Lord will never force you to accept His gift, God doesn’t send you to Hell (and simply because you don’t believe in heaven and hell doesn’t make it less true). God has shown great restraint … and yes, for you 

   "The Lord does not delay [as though He were unable to act] and is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is [extraordinarily] patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance." [2 Peter 3:9]. 

But there will come that moment and then it will be too late. The point is that when you reject Him you choose Hell. It’s YOU who determines your ultimate destination. And YES... it is this serious.

If you scoff and say that my source (Bible) for my belief is flawed. Really! Are you willing to place your trust in man's alternative? 

(actually 2 flawed reasons: one, that if there is a God, He would never consign His creation (presupposing He created us v. evolution) to Hell... if there is such a place or two - that all there is is now, when you die it's over)

Just suppose, for a moment, that you could be wrong and I could be right... what if?

What’s ‘personal’???

Prior to, at the point of acceptance, and continuing - ‘they’ are always talking about a personal relationship with the Lord. I really love that concept … BUT no one ever says what ‘personal’ means: what it looks like, how it feels, what the expectations are, HOW you do this, etc. Do you believe a relationship is really a real thing or that it's church-ese? It can become quite frustrating because if you don’t know what it is, how will you ever know if you’ve attained it?!!! OK... enuf drama. But - the point, the questions are still valid. Do YOU know what your personal relationship with the Lord is? Is it static? Is it continuing to grow? 

WHY do you think you have or don't have a relationship? And if you point to being worthy - forget that designation because none of us are. Worthiness isn't the point. I believe the Father has always wanted a relationship with His creation. 

   "Then God said, “Let Us (Father, Son, Holy Spirit) make man in Our image, according to Our likeness [not physical, but a spiritual personality and moral likeness]; and let them have complete authority over the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, the cattle, and over the entire earth, and over everything that creeps and crawls on the earth.” So God created man in His own image, in the image and likeness of God He created him; male and female He created them. And God blessed them [granting them certain authority] and said to them, “Be fruitful, multiply, and fill the earth, and subjugate it [putting it under your power]; and rule over (dominate) the fish of the sea, the birds of the air, and every living thing that moves upon the earth.” So God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the surface of the entire earth, and every tree which has fruit yielding seed; it shall be food for you; and to all the animals on the earth and to every bird of the air and to everything that moves on the ground—to everything in which there is the breath of life—I have given every green plant for food”; and it was so [because He commanded it]. God saw everything that He had made, and behold, it was very good and He validated it completely. And there was evening and there was morning, a sixth day." [Genesis 1: 26-31]

When you read further you'll read that God walked with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day (Genesis 3). If all this doesn't speak of the Father's desire to be in relationship with His creation... what will? 

If you return to the argument that man isn't worthy... read 2 Corinthians 5

   "17 Therefore if anyone is in Christ [that is, grafted in, joined to Him by faith in Him as Savior], he is a new creature [reborn and renewed by the Holy Spirit]; the old things [the previous moral and spiritual condition] have passed away. Behold, new things have come [because spiritual awakening brings a new life]. 18 But all these things are from God, who reconciled us to Himself through Christ [making us acceptable to Him] and gave us the ministry of reconciliation [so that by our example we might bring others to Him], 19 that is, that God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself, not counting people’s sins against them [but canceling them]. And He has committed to us the message of reconciliation [that is, restoration to favor with God]. 20 So we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making His appeal through us; we [as Christ’s representatives] plead with you on behalf of Christ to be reconciled to God. 21 He made Christ who knew no sin to [judicially] be sin on our behalf, so that in Him we would become the righteousness of God [that is, we would be made acceptable to Him and placed in a right relationship with Him by His gracious lovingkindness]."

Read verse 21 again: He made Christ who knew no sin to [judicially] be sin on our behalf, so that in Him we would become the righteousness of God [that is, we would be made acceptable to Him and placed in a right relationship with Him by His gracious lovingkindness].

When our Lord pronounced 'It is Finished' - our separation from God was bridged and now we have the opportunity [because it is always our decision] to accept this gift of reconciliation that Jesus provides. This provides the foundation for developing your personal definition of relationship with the Lord and talking with Him about it - it never is one-sided. Relationship is also never static... you're in for a wonderful adventure!